Seven

Someone really amazing recently told me that love isn't a feeling, it's a commitment. And that doesn't sound too romantic, does it, but for some reason it spoke to me more than any other thought on love or marriage ever has.

This past month, Mike had surgery on his shoulder and the recovery (especially the first few days/weeks) tested me. He couldn't do much to help around the house, he couldn't drive anywhere and there was a bit of time that he couldn't put a shirt on without my help.

I commute every day. My days range from 11 to 13 hours, depending on what errands I need to run or what I have going on before or after work. I have been cooking more, so when I get home, I try to make dinner, do the dishes, do the laundry and for a while—right after his surgery—I was exhausted every minute of the day. And I just wanted Mike to help. I knew he couldn't (although, yes, he did manage to tear the kitchen apart in boredom but I've decided to let that go). I didn't begrudge him for his state, I was just tired.

And I remembered that thought my friend shared with me quite a lot over the last month. I committed to Mike, and that's bigger than my exhaustion. It's bigger than my impatience. Bigger than my desire for SOMEONE OTHER THAN ME TO DO OUR DISHES. It's the biggest thing in my life. It's the biggest truth I've ever known.

I committed to him long before seven months ago, yes, but seven months ago I got to wear a very pretty dress and frequent a very open bar in the name of celebrating that commitment. Seven months ago that commitment offered me a new name which also became official on my credit cards, checks and driver's license this month.

There's a lot to be said about my husband and about our relationship, but the most important thing I can or will ever say is that I'm committed to him.

Happy seven months, baby.

Comments

[Jess]

This is a sweet post, and you guys are as adorable as always. I'm glad you are so committed to each other that you can weather the tough parts too.

Also, congrats on your name change officially coming through on all those papers! I am so not looking forward to that logistical nightmare.

[Someone Being Me]

Well said. There will be days when love comes easy, days when it is a chore, but it is always a choice and a commitment. Someday you will be the one on the receiving end of that commitment and you will be able to gleefully remind him of that while he fetches you another pillow and ties your shoes.

[Angella]

What a beautiful post, Jennifer.

I keep repeating that quote over and over when doing things such as wiping poop smears out of the toilet bowl ;)

[Michelle]

Perfect. So true.

And your hair looked fantastic on your wedding day.

[Kitty]

You are so eloquent. Beautiful post from a beautiful woman. =)

So....do you speak Spanish now? ;)

[Katie]

Congrats on your seventh wonderful month of marriage! I think that picture is one of my favorites out of all the wedding pictures you have posted.

[Natalie]

Congrats on 7 months! Your hair does look amazing in this picture. I try to remember that love isn't a feeling, but a commitment too, but its so hard when Micah is so messy.

[bethany actually]

I think DC Talk said it best: Love is a verb.

Happy 7 months!

[Type (little) a]

It's true, you can't rely on the strength of emotion to carry you through. You need to wake up every day and decide to love that person.

That's why I don't buy when people break up and third parties are involved, and they say, "It just happened, we fell in love", nonsense. You let it happen.

Anyway, happy 7 months!

[Michelle & the City]

adorable. and love is about commitment. i don't think that takes the romance out of it at all! :)

happy 7 months!

[Closetmom]

that is a great way to think about it, because feelings come and go over the years, but a commitment is always there.

[merrymishaps]

At first I was thinking, "It took you seven months to change your credit card?"

I got that, SS Card, and license taken care of right away!

And then I remembered I still have a bank account, PayPal and possibly a rarely-used credit card in my maiden name.

It'll be seven YEARS in April!

[merrymishaps]

(Note, that's a secondary savings account ... I changed the primary checking/savings ... though Bank of America keeps insisting on printing my ATM cards with my maiden name!)

[jodi]

beautiful. And I love the picture.

[EmilyPie]

I couldn't agree more.

Happy 7 months ..

[Raven]

I am one of the least romantic girls I know and I totally feel this post. I am the most committed to Willy that I have ever been. I am the most married that I have ever been. I am the most me that I have even been.

That's as romantic as I get :)

[Heather B.]

You are very, very sweet and I'm sure that Mike knows how lucky he is to have you. Happy 7 months.

[Filtering Life]

You nailed it...commitment. happy 7th month! Remember to pat yourself on the back for all those milestones. Marriages dissolve far too quickly and over nothing.

[Lisa]

We've officially been a couple for ten years now, and married for about a year and a half. I'm totally with you on this. And also on love being a verb. Beautiful post. Happy 7 months!

[TB]

So true. Marriage is a marathon, not a sprint and it's easy to forget that sometimes isn't it?
I hope your husband's shoulder is healing. Surgery like that is no joke.

[Kristabella]

Very sweet.

I have absolutely no reason for not doing the dishes. Besides being the World's Laziest Human.

[maliavale]

Well-said. I hope things get better for both of you soon!

[Krisite]

Love that comment. It is so true too. I think the commitment is the hardest part of relationships. Not so much the commitment of not cheating or things like that, but the commitment to love each other and cherish each other. Those are the hard ones, espeically after a long day.