Things I Learned While Watching The Bachelor Last Night

1. I don't stare at Mike's lips nearly enough as I've never been able to use the phrase, "I've been staring at your lips all night." And that's really a shame, isn't it?

2. Being able to hold one's alcohol is considered an actual positive quality—similar to "good listener" or "calm demeanor."

3. If I'm fresh out of ponytail holders or clips, I should just stop in my local garden center and pick out a blooming flower to tie to my head.

4. Two things one should strongly avoid saying on The Bachelor or, better yet, in life are 1) "I wrote a song for you, and now I'm going to sing it" and 2) "My cat is the love of my life. I miss her purring body."

5. The women are far more mature than I would have guessed them to be as they all resisted the urge to drop kick Ashlee after her "I got a rose" dance.

6. Some girls—angry about having to share Matt with other people—were apparently never told the premise of the show.

7. If can-ripping doesn't hook him, opera singing will. Oh wait. NO, IT WON'T.

8. Having five credits on imdb.com with one role being the Red Bikini Girl in "Endless Bummer" doesn't exactly make you an actress.

Comments

[Rachel]

I can't get into The Bachelor...It just isn't the same as it used to be.

[EmilyPie]

yet another reason why I need to get onto my hubby about signing us up for DVR already! sheesh. I never know abou these.. and that is really a shame.

[jodi]

I gave up this show after the the bass fisherman. I just CAN'T DO IT.

[Emily]

hahaha. that line about the lips was pretty priceless.

[Loralee]

Opera singers never hook the guys, dammit.

[Camels & Chocolate]

Is it just me, or is this season's cast worse than ever??? What is with all the singing this year?? It's downright ridiculous!

Glad you're posting about it b/c I miss Holly's SBTs!!!

[Natalie]

hilarious! Man, I'm really missing "great" television not having cable.

[Jess]

Do you watch American Idol? Because Syesha does a really obnoxious dance every time she gets praise from the judges and it makes me want to drop kick her. So even though I have never seen The Bachelor, I can only imagine how much I would hate Ashlee. Urghhhhhhh.

[Mandee]

I've never been a bachelor devotee, but have been too lazy to change the channel the past two weeks. And now, I'm sucked in by the train wreck. I literally yelled at the girl you reference in number 4. She was wearing "formal" shorts for heaven's sake. And calling her cat the love of her life! What is wrong with these people?

And your sideblog is making me cry. I have a friend who works in the corporate offices of Revlon--which apparently owns Kiehls. I was in NYC just before Christmas and she took me to the special employees only store where I bought a LARGE bottle of this lotion for a steal. I knew I'd have to check my bags going home, but decided it was worth it. Fast forward two days. I decided to help my sister get through security with my nephew. Only they were on a different airline so I couldn't check my bags before going through security. And I forgot about my lotion. The security guy was all kinds of nice and offered to hold it for me long enough to get them to the gate, but our flights kept getting delayed and I couldn't justify abandoning my sister and nephew just to keep my lotion. So he tossed it. And this is now the world's longest comment to tell you I'm so sad about my lotion! But I'm glad you like it.

[Jen]

How do I always forget when this is on?? I need to become better friends with my DVR.

[Rhi]

Oh my dear, I love this show. It's pathetic.

[ali]

i think Shayne did more acting on this week's episode than she's done in her whole "career"

[Katie]

I love this Bachelor...sexy British accents have a way with me!

[Leah]

I caught the end of this "by accident" (yeah right!), and OH MY LORD I felt so bad for the girl who said that her cat was the love of her life because GAWD, that could have been me! I wanted to yell at her through the screen, "I know, honey, and I'm sure your cat is the best cat evar, and I totally understand what you're saying, but STOP NOW, SHUT YOUR MOUTH, YOU ARE GOING TO REGRET THIS IN THE MORNING!"

[Heather B.]

I have nothing constructive to say about this except that I wish I had my camera with me today at Target because YOU WOULD NOT BELIEVE what I saw....

The end.

[Ashley]

haha. I love #6.

So true! That show is hilarious.

[Michelle & the City]

that is one thing i will never understand about the show - how some of the contestants cry and get so upset that they have to share the bachelor with other women. dude, that's the WHOLE POINT OF THE SHOW!

jennie - remind me again why we watch it? i've yet to figure it out. lol