On My Way, Ready Or Not

I'm leaving for the airport in about a half hour—although my flight is already delayed 15 minutes and before I even board, I'll owe the airline something like $50, making this travel day already chock full of fun—and Mike is still asleep in the other room, snoring and curled up with nine pillows and our dog.

I've been looking forward to this trip for almost a year now and, yet, now that it's upon me, a part of me doesn't want to go. To be honest, I really don't feel well, and I know I didn't invent pregnancy and am not the first one to struggle through her days and nights with a nauseous stomach and a neverending desire to just go to bed—wait, I just woke up a half hour ago? Well, it's certainly been a grueling thirty minutes.

I don't know if I can put into words how excited I am to be pregnant. There are some instances in life where words fail—the right ones just don't yet exist—but feeling like this can depress a person fairly quickly because there's just so much one cannot do when they are continually throwing up their lunch (sorry for that visual). I would really hate if next weekend is sort of awfully tainted by how sick I could very well be. I hope I'm being overly dramatic. I hope my adrenaline pushes me forward and causes me to forget the nausea and exhaustion. I hope this doesn't turn out to be a very (very) expensive trip filled with the exact same things I could be doing at home—napping and complaining.

There has been one consistent force pushing me on through the last few weeks and that's Mike. He is supportive, funny, caring, comforting and he is each one when I need it most. And, unfortunately, he doesn't fit in my carry-on bag. A conference full of my favorite bloggers just didn't entice him to jump on a plane as easily as it did me, but he was always encouraging of this trip, of me having a week to myself to enjoy some family, the city I grew up in, the people I've come to really care for but haven't yet had the pleasure to meet. My husband is so many frustrating and fist-clenching things, but there is no one in my life who accepts me just as I am without a word of criticism.

When I mentioned to Mike—months and months ago—that there were some husbands out in the blogosphere who weren't as supportive of this typing habit as he was and that many of them even thought it was crazy, he said to me, "Well, baby, it is kind of crazy, but I knew crazy was what I was getting into with you."

And that's just how it goes with us—we are who we are and the other one never asks why. But I sort of forget, sometimes, how much I enjoy being with Mike until I'm faced with eight days away from him. I will have fun—vomiting or not—and so will he—a house and a DVR to himself—but it doesn't dull the fact that I'll miss him. That I already do.

So, I'm off. A little nervous, slightly hesitant and, yes, excited too. Sometimes it's just best to admit all of that beforehand.

Comments

[Raven]

We'll get you some saltines and sprite (or gingerale) to have before you get out of bed. Trust me, it really helps!

*HUG*

I'll be there in 3 days and word on the street, is that I have a present or two in my bag for you.

[Jess]

I hope you have a WONDERFUL trip, and that it is totally free of nausea.

[Angella]

I will hold back your hair for you, should the need arise. I'm good like that.

Have fun these next few days! I'm looking forward to meeting you :)

[Christina]

Good luck, Jen! I hope it is fantastic and that the little one is easy on you while you away.
I know exactly how you feel, Mike and I would travel alone a lot before the baby and while it was always great, I missed him every time.

[ali]

can i tell you again how jealous i am that you are going SO early?!?!?!

WE will be your mike for you this weekend ;)

[Sharon]

Safe travels, and hope you have loads of fun!

[EmilyPie]

Aw. I hope you have a safe, not-so-vomitrific flight! ... and don't worry, if I have drink enough, I could very well be napping and complaining (maybe even have a nauseous stomach) the entire time as well ;) ... but I really don't plan to drink that much.

[Loralee]

Oh, MAN! I am so excited for you. I can't wait to get there myself!

[sarah]

I have those same wishy washy back and forth feelings-minus the morning sickness! Travel safely!

[Elizabeth]

Well I for one cannot wait to see you!
I did find that distractions helped a lot with morning sickness, so I have high hopes that you have a really good trip. Once you get the plane over with hopefully the worst part will be through.

[Kristie]

Can't wait to see you! It's been weeks! Have a safe flight and see you soon. :)

[Kitty]

I hope you have a wonderful trip, darling! I don't see how you couldn't, despite the morning sickness, as you're sharing a room with two of my favorite gals in the world. Give Kristie and Jess big hugs from me, and take all kinds of debaucherous pictures. (Is that a word? If not, it is now, damn it!)

XOXO

[bethany actually]

Safe travels! I'll say some prayers for you this weekend. :-) I am really glad I got to meet you already or I'd be jealous of everyone else going to BlogHer!

[Michelle]

Hopeful nugget - When I was pregnant, I took a trip to San Francisco (unfortunately, for work, but still), and it was the first time I'd felt like myself in months. So, here's to hoping it's something in the air there and the same thing happens to you!

[Katie]

wishing you safe and nausea free travels!
ps I LOVE what mike said to you about the crazy. Possibly THE sweetest thing I've ever heard!!!

[Kristabella]

Don't stress yourself out kiddo. There will be plenty of preggo ladies at the conference and NO ONE will make you feel bad if you're not feeling well. But I think you're going to have a hell of a time and we'll make you forget all about that exhaustion! Can't wait to see you!

[biddy]

find a maternity store and invest in the morning sickness suckers. i hear they work wonders

[biddy]

oh! and have fun at blogher you fabulous pregnant stylish girl!

[Nicole]

Aw. I can't wait to read all about your SF adventures!