In early January of 2005 Mike and I -- along with his sister and her husband -- took a trip to Colorado. The plan, or so I thought, was to ski and snowboard half the time and relax in front of a crackling fire the other half. But Mike (and by no strange coincidence, his family) is a goer. He doesn't stop to enjoy a movie or relax, curled up with a magazine while on vacation. OH NO. He goes. He doesn't feel as if a vacation is really successful unless he's crying out of sheer exhaustion on the plane ride home.
When we first got to Colorado, I assumed we'd grab lunch, unpack, maybe take a quick lap around the hotel, but it wasn't fifteen minutes after we dropped our bags in our room that my feet were jammed into ski boots and I was on a lift. I had never snowboarded before so I was understandably nervous. First, I was nervous about getting off the ski lift as there are signs just everywhere that state, "KEEP MOVING! DON'T STOP! DON'T FALL! YOU'LL PISS OFF EVERY SKIER/SNOWBOARDER ON THIS HERE MOUNTAIN IF YOU FALL!" And, well, I fell. Of course I fell. You should not be shocked that I fell. But you should ooze sympathy that falling off the ski lift was actually one of the better parts of that whole miserable day.
On the top of the run, I couldn't figure out how to move -- how to even inch along -- without falling, usually very quick and very hard. It was painful and frustrating and for the next four (possibly five) hours I formed a horrible pattern of standing up, brushing off some freezing ice, attempting to plunge myself down the mountain and then falling -- ass or knees first -- so hard I sometimes couldn't speak for minutes afterwards due to the ringing and the throbbing and the WANTING TO DIE.
Mike picked up snowboarding far too quickly, if you ask me. He was doing jumps and slicing down 90-degree inclines and he even flipped once or twice just to, you know, SEE IF HE COULD. (And he could, of course he could.) He took to it so naturally and effortlessly, it worked me up even more. Couldn't you fall with me? Why am I the only one in hell right now?
But, and you possibly saw this coming, there was only one way down the mountain. The steep, terrifying mountain. And that was, well, down it. I had to figure out how to make this contraption strapped to my feet work with me. And I just couldn't figure it out. I was in tears because I was just so exhausted. There is little in this world that has ever made me more tired than trying to get down a snowy mountain on a big skateboard without wheels. I sat down and told Mike to go ahead without me. I COULD NOT GO ON. And as I sat there, mulling over my choices of setting up camp right where I was or setting up camp a foot to my right, another woman fell and slid the front of her board straight into my thigh AND IT FUCKING HURT. And with that, I sort of lost my mind. I kind of (ashamedly) began screeching and sobbing and possibly hysterically yelling. I was freezing and in so much pain, and I knew I couldn't do it. I couldn't get down that mountain by myself.
And you know what the giant salt shaker pouring salt into my deep wounds was? Children and the elderly were flying right by me. It's possible they were even whooing.
Mike looked at me, pulled me up and said, "We'll do this together." And he got me down the mountain, even if we slid the last few hundred yards sitting on our snowboards. (We were rightly reprimanded if you're sort of in shock we did that. But, trust me, AT THE TIME IT SEEMED LIKE THE VERY BEST PLAN I HAD EVER HEARD.)
Through it all, Mike was calm and unaffected by the crazy I unleashed on him. I, on the other hand, was incredibly embarrassed by the whole mess.
It was not one of my finer moments (days) and it just so happened that particular day was our first anniversary. We celebrated one solid year of being together by me clenching my teeth, turning to him and saying, "This is the worst day of my life. And I have seen George Bush get elected TWICE."
Although there was not a single moment from that day when I acted like a reasonable human being, Mike did nothing but keep his shit together. I was already in love with him at this point, but that day, OH MY GOODNESS, did I ever love that man as much as a human being could possibly love another. I loved him for not abandoning me, even though I begged him to just leave me there. "GO ON," I yelled. "JUST GO." I loved him for ruining his first day on the slopes by putting up with me and dealing with me and doing it all with a ridiculously good attitude. He knew I was in trouble. And he knew the only way to get me out of trouble was to stay calm. Lord, did I love him for that.
When I think about loving him, I always think of that day first. The day I broke apart and he pieced me back together, lovingly and without complaint.
It was on that day -- of this I'm certain -- when I first realized I wanted to have his child.
And if all keeps going well that child will be here on February 19.
We're pregnant.
(January 2005; Winter Park, Colorado)
I am SOOOO excited for you! You have no idea! And I am totally serious about trying to make it down for your shower. (I suck at baby showers, especially with all of the GIRLS there, but for you, I'll make my best effort to be there AND to have fun.) And I already have an idea of what I'm going to get you.
Ten million hugs and congratulations to both of you. XOXOXO
Posted by: Kitty | Monday, July 07, 2008 at 11:32 AM
Oh my gosh - such a shocker at the end. I totally didn't see it coming, and I guess that's why I got what seemed to be never-ending chills. I am beyond excited for you and will keep you and that precious baby in my prayers!!!!
And, oh my gosh, how I can relate to the skiing part! I've never been so frustrated in my life. Not only did I fall getting off of the ski lift the first time, I somehow ended up grabbing underneath the ski lift (how?) and it was carrying me up the mountain - I finally let go and dropped to the ground. Worst moment ever. And that was just the ski lift. Trying to ski was even worse, but I eventually got better after the third time I went on a ski trip.
Posted by: Jennie | Monday, July 07, 2008 at 11:41 AM
Congratulations! I'm so happy for you guys! That's the best news I've heard all day! :)
Posted by: Sharon | Monday, July 07, 2008 at 11:42 AM
AHHHH!!!! That totally shocked the shit outta me!! I am so happy for you. I just got full body goosebumps!!
Congratulations to you and Mike. Can't wait to continue reading your adventures!
Posted by: Shelly | Monday, July 07, 2008 at 11:51 AM
Oh my god I just got goosebumps all over and I am so excited for you and CONGRATULATIONS!!!
Posted by: Jess | Monday, July 07, 2008 at 11:52 AM
YEA! I am so excited. Congratulations! Its a wild ride but it is so much fun.
Posted by: Someone Being Me | Monday, July 07, 2008 at 12:06 PM
Oh! Tears and goosebumps. Congratulations! I'm so excited for you guys. I know you guys will be the best parents ever!
Posted by: Kristen | Monday, July 07, 2008 at 12:06 PM
Ok, well I was going to comment about my first time getting off a ski lift, but it just doesn't seem appropriate after the ending to that blog post.
I don't know you - but am SO happy for you guys. I wish you a great, healthy pregnancy and am excited to read along with everyone else as you get closer to February.
WOO HOO
Posted by: Karmyn | Monday, July 07, 2008 at 12:09 PM
I KNEW IT!!! I just knew it and I've been waiting to hear you confirm it. I am so, so happy for you two. That lucky kid has two amazing parents to look forward to.
Posted by: banana | Monday, July 07, 2008 at 12:38 PM
omigod OMIGOD i just started crying at work...that instaneous crying where there is no warning, and you can't stop it and you just hope no one walks in the front door...
i am SO SO happy for you. I am bursting with joy. I cannot even express how thrilled I am for you!
and even more so that we GET TO BE PREGGO TOGETHER. honey, I know what you have been going through, and you know what I have been going through and THIS IS THE MOST AWESOME I HAVE FELT IN AGES. Excuse the caps lock, but i really am ecstatic for you.
Posted by: rebecca | Monday, July 07, 2008 at 12:40 PM
This was the best 'I'm pregnant' announcement EVER.
Posted by: Michelle | Monday, July 07, 2008 at 12:46 PM
Delruking to say CONGRATULATIONS!! I've been reading your blog for about 6 months and absolutely love your style!
So happy for you both! Wishing you a healthy pregnancy!
Posted by: Erica | Monday, July 07, 2008 at 01:04 PM
YAY!!!! Congratulations!!!!!
Posted by: Sabrina | Monday, July 07, 2008 at 01:06 PM
OH and also... February 19th is an excellent due date... that is the same due date as my son, who was actually a week early and born on February 13th and turned 5 this year!!! Congrats again!!!! I am so completely excited for the both of you!!!!!
Posted by: Sabrina | Monday, July 07, 2008 at 01:11 PM
OMG OMG OMG, what a great ending! That's so great for you two! But could you tell the baby to come four days later, on my birthday? =)
Posted by: Camels & Chocolate | Monday, July 07, 2008 at 01:12 PM
Oh Jennie!!!! And Mike!!!! I'm sitting here with tears in my eyes, and goosebumps! A humongous congratulations to you both. And a heartfelt prayer that the next 8 months goes quickly and smoothly. I am just thrilled for you guys! Congrats again!
Posted by: Kate | Monday, July 07, 2008 at 01:20 PM
Congratulations, I'm so happy for you guys. I know how much you want this!
Posted by: merrymishaps | Monday, July 07, 2008 at 01:34 PM
Yeah!!! Why the hell didn't you say that first? Good lord, I had to read the entire story just to get to the good part! I am so excited for you guys. I don't even know you and I'm so happy. Congratulations.
Posted by: jean | Monday, July 07, 2008 at 01:35 PM
CONGRATTTTS!!!! Thats is very exciting!!! And OMG. On another note, the mac and cheese recipe to the left lOOKS AMAZING. ???
Posted by: Chelsea Talks Smack | Monday, July 07, 2008 at 02:27 PM
aaaaaaaaaaaack!! i'm so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so excited for y'all!!!
i shall have a glass (ok, bottle) of prosecco to celebrate!
Posted by: biddy | Monday, July 07, 2008 at 03:06 PM
Congrats!! This is just WONDERFUL news! I, too, can't wait to read about how these next 9 months (and all those months after!!) go. I noticed the picture of the positive test before reading the post and burst into tears. I'm a little emotional lately- I'm also due in mid/late February! (EDD was 2/11 but that might change come this next doctor's appt this Friday...)
Anyway, so super excited for you guys. It's really beautiful how wanted and loved that little baby already is.
Posted by: Miranda | Monday, July 07, 2008 at 03:50 PM
Another delurker... congrats!!!
Posted by: Natalie | Monday, July 07, 2008 at 03:53 PM
I just got goosebumps...
I'm delurking here to say I'm so, so happy and excited for you and Mike!! I've been a devoted reader of yours for some time, and for quite a while, every time I'd wait for your page to load, I would close my eyes and pray I'd read that you were finally going to have a sweet little one...holy crap, this time it actually CAME TRUE! *sigh*
Congrats, Jennie! Looking forward to reading along the way during your pregnancy. I have no doubt you'll make it an amazing experience for yourself AND the rest of us. :o)
Posted by: AmyB | Monday, July 07, 2008 at 03:58 PM
I can't say enough how happy I am for you. And apparently the news has my little one all worked up too--thump thump thump. The both of us are fist-pumping like crazy for you guys! :)
Posted by: Leah | Monday, July 07, 2008 at 04:15 PM
big, huge, immense congrats to you two! i hope that you have a joyous puke-free pregnancy.
p.s. you are too funny: "This is the worst day of my life. And I have seen George Bush get elected TWICE." (but you see he wasn't so much elected as evily-shenaniganed-into-office twice. so much for democracy!)
Posted by: sarah | Monday, July 07, 2008 at 04:25 PM
Wow - what an exciting day to discover your blog! Congratulations!!
Posted by: nonsoccermom | Monday, July 07, 2008 at 04:42 PM
OH MY GOD!!! That is wonderful!!!!!
Posted by: Heather | Monday, July 07, 2008 at 05:01 PM
Jennie & Mike, I am SO HAPPY for you both, and for the baby who's on the way. You are all going to be very happy together and since you're well-versed in improvising your way out of the crazy I am sure you will make wonderful parents. :-) Thank God you finally got to write this post!!!
Posted by: bethany actually | Monday, July 07, 2008 at 05:31 PM
YES!!!!
This could not have happened to a better couple. Sweet mercy, I'm beaming like an idiot right now.
Posted by: Angella | Monday, July 07, 2008 at 05:48 PM
Wow. If you ever up and decide to get a divorce from this guy, I am going to set up camp in your front yard and throw a full on revolt with flaming arrows and war paint and everything. I'm so happy for you guys.
Posted by: SAJ | Monday, July 07, 2008 at 06:02 PM
Sorry for swearing - but HOLY SHIT!! Congrats to you and Mike...can't wait to follow your pregnancy on the blog. WOOHOOOOO!! I got goosebumps!! :)
Posted by: JennyL | Monday, July 07, 2008 at 06:03 PM
YAY!!!!!!!!!!!! CONGRATS!! I know its the best feeling in the world! How did you tell Mike!??! Or did you test together??? Sorry, so nosey. My husband and I tested together for the first, it was such a special moment. I surprised him with our 2nd, that was fun too! What a blessed child you are having! CONGRATS AGAIN!!
Posted by: Rebecca | Monday, July 07, 2008 at 06:06 PM
Congrats to both of you Jennie! I'm so happy for you guys and can't wait to meet Baby Canzo.
xoxo,
a
Posted by: amieable | Monday, July 07, 2008 at 06:07 PM
Many, many congratulations. I've been reading your blog for a couple of weeks now and have really enjoyed it. I hope you have a healthy and happy pregnancy!
Posted by: Amy | Monday, July 07, 2008 at 06:15 PM
Usually when people leave comments like "I totally shot milk out of my nose, I laughed so hard!" or "I totally just cried at that post!" I'm like "Dude. Get over it. You did not." But you TOTALLY just made me tear up. Congratulations!
Posted by: hillary | Monday, July 07, 2008 at 06:22 PM
I am lurker too, but there is nothing to get me to de-lurk faster than your fantastic, wonderful news. Congratulations!!!
Posted by: Maggie | Monday, July 07, 2008 at 06:42 PM
HOORAY! WOW, WHAT FANTASTIC NEWS!
Oh man, I need to knit you some baby stuff! When do you get to the city, so I can have it finished by then?
SO EXCITED FOR YOU BOTH! And, also, the snowboarding? It totally sucks and is only for peabrained nitwits who can't hold their liquor in the ski lodge like normal people. My ex made me go with him, and my hands, knees and ass were BLACK from falling. And once, I slid into a snowdrift and every time I'd claw my way out, that stupid board attached to my feet made me slide further back from where I started. Oh God, it gives me a misery-migraine just thinking about it. Take up eyeball stabbing, it's more fun.
Posted by: Jemima | Monday, July 07, 2008 at 07:26 PM
yeah!!! Congrats for you from Nebraska.
Posted by: amanda | Monday, July 07, 2008 at 07:40 PM
Congrats! I am just wondering how in the world you kept this under wraps!
Posted by: Jenna | Monday, July 07, 2008 at 08:04 PM
Another one delurking to say Congratulations!!! I love reading your posts and can't wait to read about all your pregnancy and baby news!!
Posted by: Jen | Monday, July 07, 2008 at 08:22 PM
ohmigosh.
i just cried.
i'm SOOOOOOOOOO excited for you both! so excited!
Posted by: ali | Monday, July 07, 2008 at 08:23 PM
OMG! I AM SO LATE TO SAY CONGRATULATIONS!!!
I am soo sooo sooo thrilled for you. What a totally freaking awesome day.
Can't wait to congratulate you in person.
Posted by: Loralee | Monday, July 07, 2008 at 09:08 PM
Congratulations!
Posted by: Angie | Monday, July 07, 2008 at 09:50 PM
Congratulations!!! De-lurking (amazing what pregnant news will do!) to wish you and Mike the best of everything with the wee one!
Posted by: Candy | Monday, July 07, 2008 at 10:05 PM
What a miracle! What a humongous encouragement to those of us who are on the road to parenthood and getting there is slower and bumpier than we thought. I can't wait to hear all about your journey to mommyhood!
Posted by: Kate | Monday, July 07, 2008 at 10:13 PM
OH MY GOD!!!!!! I am so happy for you and my eyes are watering like nothing else right now! Congratulations!
Posted by: sarah | Monday, July 07, 2008 at 10:21 PM
Joy impossible to express here. Check your email! :)
Posted by: Stephanie | Monday, July 07, 2008 at 11:10 PM
awwwwwwwwwwww shucks! CONGRATS!
Posted by: janet | Monday, July 07, 2008 at 11:57 PM
I CANNOT STOP WANTING TO WRITE IN ALL CAPS BECAUSE: YOU ARE PREGNANT. I might be crying right now. I am SO HAPPY for you both. So so happy.
Posted by: Kerri Anne | Tuesday, July 08, 2008 at 01:12 AM
THIS IS THE BEST NEWS EVER! I am SO EXCITED for you two! And equally bummed because now you will be sober at BlogHer! But a good sober! Congrats kiddo!
Posted by: Kristabella | Tuesday, July 08, 2008 at 06:45 PM