My Week Back Away

When I walked into the Community Keynote this past Friday night—with an embarrassing number of candy bars in hand—I was still in a bit of shock with the environment I had willingly thrown myself into. There were so many people! So many I read and admired! So few places to take a nap! Even though I roomed with three very cool women, and I got to meet and hug so many others, I was still taking it all in on Friday night, not entirely sure the trip had been worth it. Then Casey took the stage and read her chosen post on parenting—a post I had actually read months before. There was such vulnerability, raw bravery, sheer grace and unharnessed honesty to her few minutes in front of a thousand fellow bloggers, and I instantly remembered why I had come, why I even keep a blog in the first place. There is such power in community, such a force in the act of capturing and sharing and putting our truths out there for the world to know and judge. The act of it is just so unbelievably courageous, and I'm honored to be among all the strong and talented women who bare their souls on a daily basis.

(FYI: The rest of the keynote speakers—on both Friday and Saturday nights—were all just as brave and impressive.)

Most of the other women I met just oozed class and originality and charm. (There are so many more I could link to, but, MY GOSH, linking is time-consuming.) Sure, not everyone was as fabulous as I had hoped, but they were mere blips on a much larger and cooler radar.

I didn't party all weekend long as I kind of wished I could have. On Friday night I was convinced it was nearing midnight and I needed to leave the cocktail party and collapse in bed, but when I headed outside it was STILL LIGHT OUT, and I may have been in my PJs at 9:30 that night. Or 9. I would begin to feel beat down and exhausted and a bit crampy first thing in the morning and last thing in the evening, and although I wanted to make the rounds and take pictures with all of my blog crushes and socialize like a butterfly, I knew I needed to take it down a notch. (Mike is happy about that.) It doesn't make for many fun, drunken stories, but it does make the list of things I plan to hold over this child's head one day THAT MUCH LONGER.

When Mike asked if I would go again, I said, "Of course! AND I PLAN TO DRINK MY WAY THROUGH IT NEXT TIME." And, friends, I mean that.

I was actually in the Bay Area for a full week—before and after BlogHer—which both flew by and seemed like just a day or two too long to be away from my dog and my DVR. Before the conference I spent time with family, and I didn't fight my dad's insistence that I just "relax more!" and "rest!" and FINE DAD if you want to fluff those pillows and buy me another donut, I'll let you. THIS ONE TIME. The day after the conference I took my roommates around the city—the Victorian houses on Hayes Street were the biggest hit, it's safe to say—and forced them to listen to hours of "and that's where I went to elementary school and over there is where my sister made me beg for money on the street." As we were driving around one of the coolest cities I've ever been to and right after I announced that a particular McDonalds we passed near the park was one I used to frequent on Sundays, one of my carmates asked where I preferred to live, Texas or San Francisco. I didn't even pause—it didn't even occur to me to think about it—before saying, "Wherever Mike is."

I'm home now, in a house in a suburb in boring, suffocatingly hot, flat North Texas. The H&Ms and In & Out Burgers and blogging celebrity spottings are all a long plane ride—and a lifetime—away from me, but his face sure was worth returning to. Home is where he is.

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For those who may be curious, the baby seems to be doing okay—although we'll know more at our next appointment this Friday. He/She only made mama physically sick a handful of times (and most of those were reserved for the plane-ride home because my Zofran prescription had run out). But I did pick up this onesie for his/her dad at a shop in Ghirardelli Square which amused me enough to forgive all the end-of-the-trip nausea. BUT LORD CHILD YOU BETTER BE CUTE.

When I handed Mike the onesie and yelled, "Surprise!" he pulled A NEW BLACKBERRY out of his pocket for me and also said "Surprise!" Not as soft as a onesie, no, but SO MUCH MORE BADASS OH MY GOODNESS I CAN'T EVEN STAND IT. Pictures from the blackberry and the trip to come ... soonish. I have a week's worth of General Hospital to get caught up on first.

Comments

[Rhi]

I didn't even get to talk to you! And, I have something for BABY! So, I'll have to mail it to you!

Also, I totally had Zofran - I have a standing prescription from my doctor - because I am a nervous puker!

[TUWABVB]

So glad to hear that you are feeling good - I was wondering how travelling would be. Still so excited for you! You already have such a healthy attitude towards being a mom. Good luck at your appointment.

[Camels & Chocolate]

Still bummed our lunch date didn't pan out!

[jodifur]

Skip GH, it hasn't been very good lately. And night shift starts tonight.

So jealous, I wish I could have been there.

[sarah]

Lemme know how GH is, school is taking up all of my free time.

[Stephanie]

Thank GOD you're back. Do you have any idea how dull the blogosphere is without you? No, seriously.

Glad you had a good time, though. And didn't barf too much. But have I mentioned I'm glad you're back?

PS We have H&M in Toronto... Maybe we need to plan a shopping date while you're here, too!

[Raven]

Simply stated: I am thankful for you.

I have told Wills we are moving to San Francisco...and I am not even kidding.

[rebecca]

darling girl, i am glad you had a blast...i wished beyond all belief i could have been there...then at least you wouldn't be the only one begging off early!
next year!

[Someone Being Me]

Welcome back! Sounds like you got to meet a lot of amazing people. I must say I am still a tad jealous. I can't wait to see pictures.

[bethany actually]

I am so glad it went relatively well, all things considered! And I gotta tell you, once that babe is part of your life you are barely even going to remember that you ever thought about holding "not being able to drink or stay awake at BlogHer" over his/her tiny head. Though you will probably be QUITE happy to drink your way through BlogHer at this time next year. ;-)

Did you ever get to meet SAJ? I was IMing with her during a panel or something, and she said she saw you across a room and tried to wave at you but you were leaving.

[Katie]

I am SO glad we finally got to meet in person, and lord, didn't it feel like we'd known each other for years and years?

[Kitty]

Glad you had a nice time, darling!!

[moosh in indy.]

Thanks girl. :)

[Kristabella]

I'm so glad I got to meet you! I wish that little Cletus the Fetus wouldn't have made you so tired. But I'm definitely planning on helping you drink through it next year!

[ali]

thank you thank you thank you again for picking me up at the airport (and your driving? awesome)...even though i didn't get to see you much over the weekend...i'm glad i did get to spend some time with you!

[Jess]

Ooo, new Blackberry! Mike IS a good one! Not that we didn't already know that.

[Angella]

It was great to FINALLY meet you! I feel like we did not get enough time to chat, but my chatting mostly occurred in the evenings after my photo-taking duty (Heh. I said duty.) was over.

I would much rather you take care of yourself and the wee one, though, so we'll just have to chat more next year.

[EmilyPie]

Way to take advantage of his missing you and score a cool new gadget! HA. Such a fab hubby! All I came home to was dinner...and he had already eaten out with friends.

[Kacey]

Hey, it was nice meeting you at the BlogHer conference. Love your blog name. Weren't there some clever blog names there?

I can't believe you came home to a Blackberry...hm, wish I had come home to a new iphone...

[Loralee]

Yup. Still totally, totally sad that I could not find you! (Rhi and I will have to form a facebook group mourning the fact or something)

[Kerri Anne]

I came home to a completely cleaned apartment and a pristine car, and a bouquet of flowers on the table. I'm thinking I should go away for the weekend more often. ; )