July 25

I was overweight when I got pregnant. I kept intending to do something about it before the big baby news came, but, well, a year slipped past and the weight stayed put. I'm gaining a normal amount of weight this pregnancy, but the actual number on the scale continues to shock me. How is it so high? How will I lose it all (and then some) once he comes?

I have a long, uninteresting history with my body and my weight. I wrote about it, in detail, in this post. I look back on that post, though, and realize I was determined to get pregnant at a healthy weight, yet I actually weighed more the day I found out we were pregnant than the day I wrote it.

It seems I also have a long, uninteresting history with making goals for myself that I don't keep. I have grand intentions, elaborate plans, conversations with friends and family, and then I abandon ship and let laziness win out almost every single time.

Despite the weight and the sickness and the exhaustion and the excruciating pains I feel in various joints when I roll over in the middle of the night, I have loved being pregnant. I have loved feeling him move. I have loved seeing Mike fit into fatherhood. I have loved learning and reading about motherhood and applying all I soak up to our own parenting theories. I have not let my unhappiness with my weight affect this experience except that I do probably take fewer pictures than I would if I were 40 pounds lighter. 

I've also looked ahead, though, to when our boy is here, and I've thought about what my goals will be for getting into shape and losing not only the baby weight but the extra weight that's been hanging on for much too long now.

I have given myself a goal of July 25, 2009 to make some respectable strides in getting my weight under control once and for all. It's something I'm already journaling about, already thinking about, already excited for. I have it on my calendar. I will post on/near that day to update one way or the other. Please don't let me off the hook here, OK?

There is something about life changing in such a huge way (i.e., having a baby) that has made me take a much closer look at things and wonder what other changes are long overdue. Creating a budget for my family, finally checking a few things off the dusty life to-do list, making the dentist appointment I've been putting off, sending thank-you cards that have been in a pile for more than three months—all of these are things I've stopped making excuses for doing tomorrow.

I am 25 weeks pregnant. I have 15 weeks to go. My son is growing bigger by the day, and I still laugh every time he kicks. I'll be 27 this January and that same month I will celebrate being with my son's father for five years. Time has this funny way of dragging on and inching along and then knocking us over the head a year later, leaving us wondering how that possibly happened.

I'm going to be a mother.

My son deserves a life filled with many things, but his mother's excuses aren't one of them.

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Tell me some tricks you used for losing your own baby weight or some pesky weight that was hard to shake off. Also, I have Linda's blog bookmarked. Her weight-loss success is insanely inspiring.

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Also, Happy Halloween!

Comments

[hillary]

my pesky weight melted away when I got a hyperactive puppy.
my life is hellish if my pup doesn't get at least one hour solid of make-you-sweat walking daily.

[rebecca]

girl. let me tell you something. I was significantly smaller when i was pregnant with violet. I was about the size that you were when you got pregnant. I thought I was enormous, I hardly took any pictures of myself...and I HATE myself for it now. the two preggo pictures that i have of then do not tell that story AT ALL. Which is why I take and display lots of pictures of this pregnancy, though i am a Bigger Girl.
As for your size...be healthy. That is eat. Eat healthy, stay active with your son. And be happy. Because if you aren't, you will perpetuate the cycle. Love yourself. That is the gift I give to my daughter. I love myself, so she learns that is what a woman should do. I had to learn to do that, it didn't come naturally. and hating myself for a)being fat and b)failing my goal contributed greatly to my depression.
Because you ARE beautiful. Every part of you. Who cares if you can wear a bikini? (And what boy wants a mom in a bikini, anyhow? :) )
Sorry for the novel!

[Mandee]

I was exactly like you about the whole weight issue until one Wednesday afternoon in June. I had read several blogs written by women doing Weight Watchers, so I just signed up on the spur of the moment that afternoon. I followed it pretty strictly for about 3 months and lost 20 pounds. I spend all day in front of the computer, so their online tracking program worked great for me.

My sister has been doing it as well. While she hasn't tracked her points as strictly, she has exercised like crazy (I didn't exercise at all)and also lost 20 pounds. So, WW is my "secret."

[Sara]

I am three months post-partum and just this week decided it was time to get it together with regard to my body. I have come to realize that the post-baby body is SO different than the pre-baby body. There is excess flab in places I didn't even know existed. The number may be back to normal but the ratio of fat to muscle is skewed in favor of fat. And that depresses me.

I am not good at watching what I eat so I am attempting to work it off rather than diet. I've started Jillian Michaels' 30 Day Shred and once she's done kicking my ass, I hope to see my flat stomach again. And some awesome arm muscles wouldn't be so bad either.

[jodifur]

I was the thinnest I had ever been on my maternity leave. Why? Gym daycare. 2 hours, everyday, I could hand the baby to someone. I worked out for 90 minutes and then showered, and I knew I could shower everyday. Sounds stupid, but it was my break.

Want a weightloss buddy? B/c I need to get serious also.

[She Likes Purple]

Jodifur: Absolutely! If you can wait until mid-February for your partner to do much of anything, I'm all yours. Also, our gym doesn't accept any infants younger than six months. Was your gym a chain?

[Christina]

My entire adult life has been up and down the same 5-8 lbs. I was very healthy when I got pregnant and thought I would have the ideal pregnancy in terms of weight gain. BAWAHAHA!! I gained 52 lbs. Fifty two pounds. Nathan was 6 lbs 6 oz.
After I had the baby I stopped eating like I was pregnant. Because I was(am) nursing I paid attention to what I ate making sure it was healthy. I wasnt dieting in any way, just being smart. With really no extra effort it all came off, plus 5 lbs. I dont know why, or how since I have always worked very hard to maintian but it happened. I suppose it is a combination of being awake ALL THE TIME, three flights of stairs in my house, and nursing. I never thougth I would be one of the ones who said it melted off like butter on a hot buscuit- but, it did. I hope it will for you too!

[Kristie]

I don't know that I have any great wisdom to impart. But you also know what I've done to lose most of my baby weight. WW was my savior and it worked really well. When a baby comes it's easy to push yourself to the side, so I'd say to remember this post when he's here so you can remember to take care of yourself physically and mentally.

[auntie]

"It seems I also have a long, uninteresting history with making goals for myself that I don't keep. I have grand intentions, elaborate plans, conversations with friends and family, and then I abandon ship and let laziness win out almost every single time."

um...please get out of my head! thanks.

[Dianna]

I just went back and looked at the first "belly shot" you posted. In my eyes, you were in no way overweight before you got pregnant. I remember thinking the first time I saw that picture how great you looked. I was expecting someone who looked totally different because of what you'd written about wanting to lose weight. I look like that first picture you posted and am not pregnant and don't think I'm that heavy. Yes, I could stand to lose a few pounds and am working on it, but you were definately not overweight. Everyone has this distorted view of themselves, myself definately included. I know you'll be able to lose all your baby weight because you'll be motivated. I can tell you that I started doing 8 minute abs on Monday (that's just 4 days ago) and someone who didn't know I was doing it mentioned that my stomach looked more toned. Just a thought. But please know that I think you look wonderful and your son and husband will always think the same.

[Jen L.]

Good for you for setting a goal! I tell ya, once those little guys start crawling and are getting into EVERYTHING, that weight starts to melt off your body! I have gone down an entire pants size since Dean started crawling last month! Breastfeeding also does help, if that's the route you go. One thing I would recommend for your early post-partum days is to load up on healthy snacks that you like the taste of...mine was yogurt with granola or cereal in it. High in calcum, not too high in calories, good for milk production and great for your energy! Also, really easy to eat quickly when the little man goes down for a quick snooze.

[Jen L.]

Make that CALCIUM, not calcum. Calcum does not sound like something you would want to ingest.

[Naomi]

Goodness, woman! I agree with Dianna. Any of the photos I've seen you post of yourself pre-pregnancy or now...I just don't see the extra weight. You look MAHVALESS! But kudos to you for setting goals. I definitely should follow your stead.

[Lauren]

That's exciting! There will be two things to celebrate that day!

[girlrunningaround]

Such an inspiring post. Good luck with your goals. Your selflessness and desire are commendable.

[Nicole]

Its amazing what breast-feeding will do to your baby weight. I lost all the baby weight, plus 5 pounds within months of giving birth, but the weight loss didn't help with the lumpy mommy body, I was not toned at all.

And now three years later my son has helped me put on 10 pounds, with all the help he needs with finishing his meals and snacks.

[Nicole]

I got all teary at this: "My son deserves a life filled with many things, but his mother's excuses aren't one of them." You are lovely, through and through.

[Ellen]

For all the people who lost it all plus some just from breastfeeding... that's amazing, but it doesn't happen to everyone!

My baby is almost 10 months old and I'm almost back to "normal". Breastfeeding did help, but I am now hovering 5-10 pounds above pre-poreg weight (depends which weight you consider to be "pre-preg").

Things I've found to help:

- eat a solid breakfast
- drink water
- don't keep the junk in the house. you are home ALL DAY and you WILL EAT IT.
- get out of the house. this usually results in movement and lack of eating.
- i joined a karate class for twice a week about six weeks ago and while my weight hasn't moved, I'm sure muscle has gone up and fat has gone down because I look a lot better in my clothes. and my husband swears i'm firmer "everywhere".

Finally, give yourself time. I was sure that these stories of weight loss that took months would not be me and that I'd be the woman who popped right back into her jeans. Didn't happen, but I'm starting to feel good now. Work at it consistently, but know that the "nine months on, nine months off" adage is often true.

[Danielle-lee]

That is a lofty goal. Please don't push yourself too hard. Don't try to lose weight a week after you have the little guy. Just focus on him. For me, I started exercising 30 minutes 5 days a week, when she was about 2 months old. I did it while she napped. I used kickboxing DVDs, and if I had it back then, I would have used the 30 Day Shred too. :)
Also, I got rid of all the junk food in the house. I filled the house with healthy yummy snacks that I loved. I treated myself 2 times a week to something not-so-healthy.
Good luck, dear. I know you will do just fine!