Soaking it up

Late last night I woke up, tossing, turning and writhing in pain. Of all the not-so-enjoyable aspects of this pregnancy, not being able to sleep comfortably is on the top of the list. The first trimester sucked it, seriously, but there were so many naps, I can't help but forgive it a little bit. I was sick often, true, but I was asleep just as often, and that balanced things out rather nicely. But now? There is simply no comfortable position, no angle where my back doesn't cry out in pain and my hips don't continually ache. I still sleep, but it's not the enjoyable hobby it once was. In a previous, non-pregnant life, I slept. I mean I slept. For example, one night Mike was watching TV in bed with me asleep next to him, and in the blink of an eye the light fixture had broken in half and fallen on top of me. I did not wake up. I didn't even stir. 

So you can imagine the kind of pain that would keep me up at night. The kind of pain that forced Mike to pause his Call of Duty game and rub my back and neck while listening to me wonder aloud if I was dying. He said mid-rub, "Maybe you should take a bath." I don't even care, now, that the suggestion most likely came from a place of wanting to shut me the hell up and return to his mercenary killing because that idea was the best idea anyone has had, oh, ever. This includes the idea to combine peanut butter and jelly into one tasty sandwich. Mike drew the bath, lit some candles, sprinkled in some bubble bath, and I took my first bath of this pregnancy. WHAT THE HELL WAS WRONG WITH ME? WHY DID I WAIT SEVEN MONTHS? That bath changed everything, in a matter of ten steamy (but not too steamy) minutes. After that I did some nice, relaxing stretches, and I fell asleep within minutes. I didn't wake up (NOT EVEN TO PEE) until this morning, when Molly had burrowed her way under the covers and was sleeping on top of me. 

I would never presume to give you pregnancy advice because, well, I loathe unsolicited advice, and I also whole-heartedly subscribe to the train of thought that no two women and therefore no two pregnancies are alike. Lemons helped my nausea but lemons may send you gagging. Clomid (and champagne) helped us conceive, but that combo may not work for you. I had to abandon heels long ago, but perhaps you'll be able to wear them up until the day you deliver. So feel free to disregard this TAKE-A-BATH-THIS-INSTANT advice if you're sore or achy or in constant, waddling pain, but that bath was so miraculous and life-changing, I would feel like I was doing you an actual disservice if I didn't suggest it to you.

Now, I know I've listed quite a few pregnancy-related complaints on this Web site over the last seven months and some of you probably find yourselves scratching your head and suppressing thoughts such as Um, didn't she want this? Shouldn't she, well, shut the hell up already? I would hate if anything I've shared from my experience has scared you away from pregnancy altogether and not because I've exaggerated anything—oh boy, I haven't; throwing up on yourself really is as unglamorous as I made it seem—but because pregnancy is so personal and so different, I'd hate for you to 1) think your pregnancy will in any way resemble mine or 2) think I'm not enjoying myself an unbelievable amount despite the aches and pains and vomit. I have never done anything in my life that has been such fun, and I mean that. (Although kissing that cute British guy on spring break in Cancun [before I met Mike, calm down!] was a different kind of fun, I'll give you that.) I want to say this now because this may be my only pregnancy and it's going to be over very soon, and I want to remember—even if it's just through these words—that there is nothing I've enjoyed more in life than being this sick or hurting this much or being this fat or needing actual physical assistance when shifting in bed. There's nothing better than this, and that sounds crazy, I know, but I mean it. I'll never hold back the truth from you, so when I say that some parts have sucked, I am absolutely not lying to you, but, lord, am I ever fucking grateful for every sucky, horrible, painful moment of it. 

To the me reading this in a few months or a few years from now, you are glad to have your body back, I'm sure, and I bet you loved that first nap you took on your stomach, and wasn't it fun when you woke up from a hangover and realized the nausea would go away BY THE END OF THE DAY? But, I bet you still miss it, don't you? I bet you've even somewhat forgotten how much you loved it, how you could sit for hours watching the belly move on its own, how you woke up every morning happy regardless of everything else, all because you were this close to being a mother for the first second time (sorry, Molly), how watching your husband put together your son's crib had to be the coolest use of a pair of pliers you've ever witnessed. I bet even though you're enjoying the phase you're in now so much more than anything that's come before, you still can't believe how much you loved those nine months. I bet you also miss all that chocolate you consumed, too, don't you? How about this: I'll have another chocolate-chip bagel for you if you have a really big glass of champagne for me? Deal?

Comments

[Elizabeth]

Oh, yes, I took so many baths when I was pregnant, and I had this fancy duct tape system all rigged up because otherwise I couldn't get the tub full enough to cover my stomach. So glamorous, pregnancy.

[Christina]

I never took a bath while pregnant! I've never been a bath person. Now I take one about every two weeks and wonder every time why I dont do it more often.
I am SO happy that you got a good nights sleep- I hope this combo works for you until the end.

[jodifur]

There was actually not one thing I liked about being pregnant, except the baby at the end. Sorry, but it's true.

I will say this, the night after he was born, when I could sleep however I wanted, was heaven, in more ways than one.

[steff]

A bath cures so many things..get into the habit...because it could make a tired stressed Mommy a happy relaxed Mommy!! And when little guy is old it might be a good hiding place, I'm just sayin' and I love my kids to pieces.

[Amie]

I'm 35 weeks along now, and if we didn't have a bathtub, I think I'd have flung myself out of a window by now. This is my third pregnancy, but by far it is the most painful one I've experienced, in terms of my back and hips. I even wound up going to the hospital to get monitored because the round ligament pain got so bad I wasn't sure if I was going into pre-term labor. Warm baths have definitely helped get me through it.

Now, if they would just make my ankles go down from the size of softballs, and make my feet look a little less like sausages stuffed into shoes, it'd be great.

[Julienne]

I'm not pregnant, not even close to wanting to be pregnant yet and I wouldn't trade my bath tub for the world. Stomach hurts? Have a bath. Headache? Have a bath. Muscles hurt from working out? Well, you know the pattern.

[Rachel]

I want to be pregnant, but all these things that I read makes me nervous. Guess it's all worth it in the end, right?

[Jess]

DO NOT WORRY about the giving of the pregnancy advice. Am filing away this bath thing for future reference. Thanks for sharing.

[Jen L.]

Pregnancy baths are wonderful! I remember when I got too big, I became a big fan of the massage feature on our showerhead. Glad you found something to ease your discomfort ! The not sleeping part does suck.

[Jen]

This makes me so sad that our bathroom is currently being renovated. We have a new bathtub just WAITING to be installed, but alas, it is still sitting in the middle of our kitchen. You'd better believe I am filling that bad boy up just as soon as it is ready.

I loved this entry. I am totally with you on the waking up every morning so happy regardless of anything else, and this baby bump feels like the best accessory that I've ever had when I get dressed in the morning.

[auntie]

Fabulous post!! I think you've said quite often in your blog how you love being pregnant, despite the aches and pains, but this was by far your best accounting of it.

Almost makes a girl want to have a baby...almost.

[Michelle]

I have forgotten, all that stuff. All of it. And that's why I want to do it again, even the puking through 24 weeks. Even the pain of the last 10 weeks. Even the recovery from delivery. Oh, I want it again!
But I do miss baths. Other than one disasterous attempt to bathe with my baby (you can't have REALLY hot water when you bath with a child), I haven't had a nice bath since pregnancy. Another reason to do it again!

[Kristie]

Oh honey! I wish I would have suggested a bath. I took them almost every single night I was pregnant toward the end. Even when the water wouldn't cover my belly I didn't care. It was so soothing and the best thing ever. I'm glad you discovered the tub!

[Jen]

Lurker here. Have loved all the pregnancy posts. But one thing I guarantee you -- you will not refer to yourself as the "mother" of your dog once you have your son. It's just no longer possible.

[She Likes Purple]

Jen, you could very well be right, and I'm bracing myself for that change, but if you've ever met me (or Molly, for that matter) it may sway your opinion ever-so slightly ;)

[Gaby]

I'm just writing to let you know that I LOVE your new blog design! It looks wonderful! Um, yep. That's it :)

[justme]

Ah baths! So perfect..but even more so when pregnant. You do know the tub was invented by a woman right? A very pregnant woman!

And while you hate unsolicited pregnancy advice...apparently with mommy brain you also get the "Iknowyoudon'tcarebutI'lltellyouwhatIthink" disease and "IknoweverythingbecauseI'vehadachild" disease. Even if it's been 25 years since your last child you will always know what's best!

[Angella]

If you insist.

(Drinks glass of champagne)

[jonniker]

Baths! Yes! I recently rediscovered them myself (I took them in the first trimester), and OH MY, they make a big difference. HUGE. May I never go that long without a bath again. Seriously.

[La Petite Chic]

I am so happy that you are pregnant before me so that I can store all of your little tips away for when I do need them!

[Kristabella]

Glad the bath helped! I will keep that in the back of my head in case I ever get preggo.

Also, the one thing that scares me the most about pregnancy is the not being able to sleep on your stomach. That's the only way I sleep. To me that's worse than no alcohol.

Clearly you can see I'm so not ready to be having kids. :)