Deserving

When I was 11, my dad married a woman I barely knew. She had only been in my life a few short months and in those months, I had only been around her twice. She was carrying my brother, and I was confused and angry and sad and many other things you imagine a child being when her father marries a woman who is not her mother. I didn't expect to like this woman and, for a while, I didn't on principle alone. My brother was born and was beautiful from the first day of his life and he softened a lot of hard hearts including mine. There are times he looks just like his mother, and for years he had a mop of blond hair that made him seem angelic, no matter how much his crying or pouting or toddlerness tried to convince you otherwise.  

Against my plan, I fell in love with Elece. She has one of those contagious personalities that make you beam when you're around her. She has an unmatched sense of humor. She has a beauty that really is impossible to ignore no matter how hard you try.

Elece taught me to drive, talked to me about my first game of "spin the bottle," took me shopping for many, many years and even dyed my hair once a very unfortunate shade of orange. She poured Kahlua into my coffee one Christmas Eve morning and said, "It's going to be one of those holidays, I think." She taught me to eat Grape Nuts with chocolate milk poured over them instead of regular. I made her fall in love with Dawson's Creek, and she was just as big a Pacey/Joey fan as I was. She has a smile I can see as soon as I close my eyes because it's unique and lovely and warm. 

Her marriage to my father didn't work out, but she'll forevermore be a part of my family, a huge, throbbing, integral part of my life and the lives of my children. She gave me a beautiful little brother and bought me the purple pleather coat I wanted so badly when I was 13 even though it was pricey and, really, very ugly. 

Elece is facing a very scary medical road in the next few weeks, a journey that's overshadowing her recent birthday and the holidays, and I unfortunately can't be with her to drink a margarita or to watch cooking shows or go shopping. I wish I could always be close to her, but I can't. 

I have seen what the Internet can do when it's harvested for good. I have seen the Internet band together to raise money and hope for families in real need. It's an intensely powerful place, this blogging world, and I would never come to you with a request of any kind unless it was desperately important to me. If you don't mind, would you pray for my stepmom, would you take just a moment to send out a positive thought, a warm vibe, a virtual hug to a woman who would never ask for it herself, a person who has continually held her chin up through circumstances that would bring the strongest person to their knees, a woman who is everything you could hope a woman to be. 

Including a very good dancer. (On the left.)

Years ago, we got manicures together and the nail tech convinced us to get acrylic nails slathered on top of our real ones. On the drive home, she said, "I love my nails, but it's a lot harder to pick my nose with them." 

I'm not nearly done laughing with her, but I am certain that with enough people pulling for her, she'll be just fine. 

Comments

[TUWABVB]

I'm saying a prayer for her - I hope that all ends well. Although, it sounds like she has the perfect natural attitude to overcome this. Please keep us posted!

[Raychelle]

Sending good wishes towards your stepmom.

[bethany actually]

Of course I will pray for your mom! I hope she is okay. Did she like the scarf? :-)

[Jess]

You and Elece are in my thoughts. I hope it all works out well, and soon.

Also, unrelatedly, I love the new masthead.

[SparklieSunShine]

This was a really sweet post. I'm sending good thoughts her way.

[Kristie]

I'll send all the positive thoughts I have to your step-mom. She's lucky to have you, for sure.

[La Petite Chic]

Sending a prayer to her and to you. She sounds absolutely wonderful.
P.S. Love the new header :)

[rebecca]

She (and you) will be in my prayers. And a big virtual hug for both of you.

[MissAnna]

Lots of positive thoughts in both your directions. Here's hoping the remainder of 2008 will be a good one.

[See Sherm Blog]

I will definitely say a prayer for both her and you. She will be in my thoughts.

[Anonymous New York]

Elece sounds AWESOME and looks like a lot of fun. She is in my thoughts and prayers, along with you and your family. :-)

[Kristen]

sending good thoughts to your stepmom. I hope every thing works out for the best.

[Elizabeth]

You are lucky to have each other. I will keep both of you in my thoughts, for certain.

[Sharon]

She will definitely be in my prayers. She sounds like a wonderful woman, and I hope she comes through this okay. My best to you, Elece and the rest of your family.

[sensibly Sassy]

She is in my thoughts and prayers. Without a doubt

[Kate]

Prayers, good thoughts, positive vibes and virtual hugs all sent!

[Maggie]

You have my love and prayers, sweetheart. You both do.

xo

[natalie]

All the best to such a good hearted warm person.

Natalie"that post made me tear up" kemp

[NTE]

Sending warm and healing vibes her way.

And coping vibes yours, as I know just how hard it is to watch someone you love suffer.

[auntie]

I was praying for her before you even asked.

[Camels & Chocolate]

She sounds like an amazing woman, and I'm sure everything will work out for her (God doesn't let amazing people like Elece suffer, you know).

[Kate]

Sending my good thoughts over this internet....

PS, you are a Pacey/Joey fan?!

[jonniker]

I've read this a few times, and the things you say about her are so specific, yet speak so wonderfully to what sounds like an incredible person to know. This is going to sound odd, but she reminds me, from what you've said, of Adam's grandmother who I loved so, so much, and think about just every single day.

Of course I'll be praying for her, OF COURSE. And I'll give Grandma a heads up to do something up there, too.

[Rachel]

Sending good wishes and praying for your family! Hope everything goes well.

[Kristabella]

Sending good thoughts and prayers for you and your stepmom.

My dad and stepmom are no longer together either, but we go over to her house, still, every Christmas Eve. If you get a good stepmom, you hold on to her.

[Shelly]

She sounds like a fantastic stepmom. Best wishes to her for a speedy recovery.

[Gaby]

Your first paragraph sounds almost identical to the situation I faced with my mom and step-dad (I was ten when they got together; my youngest sister came onto the scene shortly thereafter, and I initially resented her presence, but I realized she wasn't to blame). I definitely don't want this to seem like I'm making it about me, but I wanted to let you know how much that paragraph resonated with me.

I will pray for your step-mom and for your entire family. All my best.

[morva]

Thank you Jennie. I know you words about Elece mean so much to her and me. She does love her girls. Morva

[Nancy]

Morva sent me a link to your blog and now I am crying too! I have been praying ever since I heard about what Elece is facing. Of course, through the years Elece and Traci (and Morva and Dale) have often been in my prayers. They were my first friends, my best friends and I love them so much. I can just hear Elece saying that about picking her nose! :-)

Nancy

[cousin Michelle]

I too can hear her nose picking comment. I am foggy on the details but I will pray for the situation.

[Family Friend Gary]

Jennie, I have not met you but Morva & Elece have talked very highly of you. Very nice thing here that you are doing. I & My family do have Elece & also Morva & Traci in our thoughts & Prayers. Gary & family.

[Traci]

Elece is my sister, always full of love and spirit, she will pull through this tuff time, thank you for putting her in your prayers. Elece always loved Jenni and Rachel as if they were her own, thank you for loving her back. I love you sister with all my heart.

[Vickee]

Elece is a long time family friend, i have many funny stories. She is beautiful inside & out!! Elece keep your chin up! Morva, Traci & entire family are in our thoughts & prayers.

[Sherry (Prewitt)]

What a special way to share thoughts and prayers for such a light in this world. Elece has been a shining star to many of us with her positive attitude, genuine humor and ability to tackle obstacles in her life - even the lightening coming thru the telephone way back in our high school days! Elece -love, prayers and hugs to you and please know that we will be thinking of you and your family as you conquer the road ahead.

[Terri (Akers) Bartman]

Elece has been a sister to me ever since they moved to Deer Park...I love her mom and Traci very much and will be thinking of them druing this time...We are praying for you and your family...
Your loving sister,Terri

I love you!!!

[jill]

Thank you Jennie for writing such a touching piece, the tears have not stopped yet. I know Elece through her little sister Traci, growing up in the 70s in Deer Park, WA. Elece was always the strong big sister, and I will have her in my thoughts and prayers through this storm ahead which I know she will weather well. Love you Elece for being the person you are and you too are quite the writer that touchs hearts and minds through your words.

[Scott B. Lybbert]

I can tell in the shared comments that Elece is still the beautiful person inside that I remember years ago in school. She (and Traci) served as our top cheer leaders at Deer Park High. Looking at what Elece is still doing for everyone in Petaluma, she's obviously made cheerleading a career.

Looking at your chamber president's picture... you're still as beautiful on the outside as you are inside. God bless you Elece. We'll keep you in our prayers.

[Calie]

Elece is a wonderful, smart, beautiful woman. As her niece, I've been blessed to have her apart of my life. She is someone that I have always looked up to and used for inspiration to succeed. She's the absolute coolest, most kick butt aunt...and she's my aunt! =) I love you Aunt Elece, and I know that everything will be fine in the end.

Calie

PS- Thank you Jennie.

[Jensen DeLaRosa]

Elece is always smiling and always looks at the glass half full. she is never upset and will always make you feel better. as her nephew i have come to know and love her. shes a beautiful woman inside and out and i know she will get better.

Jensen

[Dino]

It's funny that when you want to say something encouraging about one of the most tolerant, patient, talented, strong-willed and beautiful people in my life I can't think of the words. You never tell the people who matter so much in your life what they mean to you. My sister-in-law, you have the strength to get through this because you have in you the courage and the spirit of your dad. I miss you. You're in my prayers.

[Ernie Vela]

I'm glad to see Elece hasn't changed in all these years, I've never known anyone so positive and full of energy, I know those qualities will get her through these tough times, good luck Elece, my family and I are praying for you and your family.

[Ron Hagstrom]

Our prayers to you Elece. I hope we get to catch up sometime soon on your succesful procedure and everything else you have been doing in what sounds like a wonderful life since EWU. Go get em.

[Mary Brusco]

Elece is an amazing friend, there is know one like her. I love her to pieces.

Thank GOD she is OK.

I love you YOUR FRIEND MARY

[Pamela Smith]

My Family has been lucky to live on the wonderful street of Rosamond, the true meaning of neighborhood. Elece is a Rosamond great!!! Elece is in our thoughts and prayers.
I sure miss walking with her, so does Lola( my Dog)
Hurry home Elece!!!
xoxox
Pam

[Leslie and Roger]

We have known Elece most of her life when we alled lived in Deer Park, Wa. Her Mom and Dad are/were dear friends. She is like them, a person who brings laughter and friendship for everyone. Today is Christmas. We are hoping and praying for good news.