We're OK, you should know that right off

I try to be a pretty laid-back mom. Some of you who know me may have just spit your drink on your monitors, but in many ways, I think it's still pretty accurate. We've let Kyle suck on a lemon and gave him mashed sweet potatoes and other pureed veggies before six months (with the nod of approval from our pediatrician). I pass him to anyone who will take him and, so far, that's kept his Stranger Freak-Outs to a select few people.

So, last night when I took him to a family dinner, I didn't monitor what people were giving him bites of as closely as I should have. He got a bite of a baked sweet potato and a couple bites of a cobbler a la mode. We *think* (although we just can't be completely sure) the ice cream caused what happened after that.

On the drive home from dinner, Kyle started choking and gagging. I pulled the car over quickly and jumped in the back seat. He projectile vomited everywhere. He was covered in it, and his face was a deep red. I was scared, of course, but assumed he was given too large a bite of something and it got stuck when I strapped him into his car seat. I called Mike, a bit shaken, and told him what happened.

By the time I got home -- maybe five minutes later? -- I heard him choking/gagging again. This time, he stopped breathing and his eyes rolled in the back of his head. I screamed and ripped him out of his car seat. Seriously, adrenaline is a crazy bitch. I could have mauled a tiger right then if I had needed. I stuck my finger in his mouth again, and he began to cough and vomit again.

Although much more shaken up this time, I really thought that had to be it. I stripped him down, gave him a bath and decided to cuddle with him on the couch for a little while to make sure he was OK before I put him to bed.

Maybe 10 minutes later, he did it again.

After another couple times, I called an ambulance. The vomiting didn't bother me but the choking and his inability to breathe was too concerning. I was also worried about putting him back in his car seat to take him to the ER. (I feared the tight straps would make whatever was going on worse.)

He was OK in between the episodes, but the loss of consciousness and choking had me terrified. Although he's fine now and probably would have been fine if we had kept him home and simply monitored him, I have no regrets about taking him to the ER or calling the ambulance.

Mike got home right when the ambulance arrived, and we rode together to the hospital. Kyle did it once more right as we arrived at the ER.

He was given some anti-nausea medicine and we gave him water and monitored his heart rate. Once the doctor got to our room, he was almost asleep.

All of his passageways were clear, I should mention, and it never seemed as if there was something actually blocking his airways. He also hadn't been sick at all in the last couple days. Based on a couple other things, the doctor's best guess was the ice cream. He said if it was made with real cream, it could have caused such a reaction. He also said if that were it, it would probably cause quite a bit of gas (which it has).

We were released a while after that. He's been resting and normal most of this morning/today. He's not thrilled with the water/diluted juice we have to give him (only clear fluids for 24 hrs.), but he's happy and smiling and fine today. Thank god.

I'm sharing this story, I suppose, not to freak anyone out, but to try and get across how easily something so harmless can turn harmful. Babies are resilient. They can withstand more than we give them credit for, and I think most of parents' paranoia -- although totally understandable -- is also slightly unwarranted. But to completely contradict myself, you can never be too careful.

I suppose what I really want to get across by sharing this is that you should always go with your gut. ALWAYS. I should have been watching what he was eating more closely. I do blame myself, to be honest. I don't know how you can go through this and NOT blame yourself, even a little bit. Honestly, if I had seen Kyle eating ic cream sooner, though, I don't know if I would have jumped to the rescue as I know I should have. I wouldn't have wanted to embarrass anyone or make a scene. I hate that it caused something like this to give me the perspective I needed as a parent. I don't care if you think I'm a bitch or am overly protective or ridiculous in my parenting tactics. He's my kid, and, plain and simple, my gut is what most matters. Ruffling feathers will never be a concern again.

As moms, we're made to feel like we're being That Crazy Mom all the time. We're told to lighten up and relax and "what's the worst that can happen?" and so on and so forth. Most of the time, this is probably true. We should relax. We should lighten up. But not when our guts tells us to do the opposite. When our guts tell us to do something, my god, we should do it.

Watching my son stop breathing and turn blue was the worst moment of my life so far. Being That Mom hardly seems like a concern in light of experiencing what I experienced.

He's asleep right now, taking a nap with Mr. Pup, his favorite stuffed toy.

Thank god.

Comments

[Erin]

Jees Louise. So glad he's doing okay.

When my boy was about Kyle's age, he fell asleep with his eyes open (face-down in the crib), and I freaked because he wasn't responding when I called his name, he was completely still (because he was asleep, but I didn't know that). Good golly that was the scare of a lifetime.

I ended up yelling his name and picking him up, and he was none too pleased to be rudely awakened, but God did I not even care.

[Metalia]

Oh, Jennie. That is terrifying. I'm so, so glad he--and YOU-- are okay. xoxo

[Kerri Anne]

SO scary. But I'm so glad Kyle, and you and Mike are OK. And of course! you did the right thing, though of of course you don't need me to back you up there. But I am anyway.

[Steph]

I am SO GLAD he is okay. I'm sad you had to go through that last night, I'm sure it was heart-wrenching and painful. But thanks for sharing. I know that whenever I do have kids this will be something I have to battle. Even with my dogs (I know, no comparison to a baby, but that's all the experience I've had) I was very protective of how people treated them because I didn't want them eating anything weird or getting loose and running off. It's hard to come across as over-protective, but sometimes it's easier in the long run.

[Chibi Jeebs]

So glad he's okay!

My best friends deal with this with their little guy who is allergic to tree nuts. It's absolutely mind-boggling how many people have the "Oh, it's just a TINY BIT of peanut butter!" attitude, especially when that TINY BIT of peanut butter could kill him. Unfortunately some people just don't think.

[sensibly Sassy]

How terrifying, I am so glad he is ok. And I am so sorry you had to go through that!

[Jess]

Oh, my god. This is so scary. I cannot imagine how incredibly terrifying this experience must have been. I'm so glad that he's OK.

[Mandee]

What an incredibly horrifying experience. So glad that you all survived relatively unscathed.

As I told my sister this week when she sent me an irate email about the mosquito bites my nephew got while at our parents' house--you're his mom. It is your prerogative and obligation to set the priorities in his life. The rest of us have to respect that--even when we think you are being a little nuts about the mosquito bites. Most of the time you moms have reasons for those gut feelings that can't be expressed. I, for one, will always respect that.

[Kaleigha]

So glad he's okay! Loves to Kyle!

[Jen]

Jennie, all I can say is, OH MY GOD. I am literally tearing up thinking about how you must've felt in the moment this was happening to Kyle. And poor, poor Kyle. SO glad he's OK.

We've been pretty lax about introducing foods to Rowan, but this has me wanting to take it down a notch. Just let him be a baby for as long as he needs to be. He has the rest of his life to enjoy ice cream, you know?

Hugs.

[jodifur]

I'm so glad Kyle is ok.

You and I have very similar parenting style and I have to tell you, sometimes things just happen. Michael's hand was broken at preschool.

You did nothing wrong, really.

[hillary]

I'm so glad he is okay. I can't imagine the fear you must have felt. I hope that YOU are okay.

[C @ Kid Things]

So glad he's ok. When my oldest son was 2, he choked on a chicken nugget. My husband had to reach in with his finger to unlodge it, all the while my son was turning blue. The terrified look in his eyes I will always live with.

[Jennie]

Exactly. The look on his face brings me to tears every time I think of it. I doubt that will ever change.

[Stephanie]

I am so glad Kyle is okay! I'm impressed with your quick reaction. Hopefully your heart has stopped racing by now.

[Jennie]

*crossing fingers it will any second now*

[Raven]

*HUG*

I don't remember the speed at which we introduced things to Sprog but I remember having to fight my EX-MIL every step of the way to slow her roll. He was hospitalized for over a week at the age of 7 mos (unrelated, he had RSV from the daycare) and I was damned if anything else was going to put him back there. Especially given my history of being allergic to the world, you'd figure it'd make sense to be cautious but she simply WOULD NOT GET IT. It amazes me the battles we have to fight as mothers with people around us.

I'm so glad he's okay!

[Liz]

That is such a terrifying experience! The stuff of nightmares, really. Here's to hoping there's not another emergency before he's, oh, let's say... 58.

[Kristina]

This was a great topic. In my experience, it seems that some people, especially people from the "old school" of parenting (i.e. our parents and grandparents) are pretty lax when it comes to babies. It's probably because when they were raising kids, doctors just didn't know as much, and they have a tendancy to think "Well, I raised x number of kids and they all survived, and you are a new mom, and you're overreacting", so they think it's okay to give a baby "just a little" bit. I hesitated to speak up when my son was little too, but no one can advocate for our children but us. Plus, even if it's not a safety issue, and is something simple, our family and friends should respect our decisions when it comes to parenting our children, even if they don't agree.

It sucks that you had to deal with this situation, and I'm so glad Kyle is okay! And don't blame yourself!!

[bethanywd]

When my son (now 6) was 1.5 (and I was 6 months pregnant with my daughter - he choked on some peanuts that my husdand had given him. I had to flip him over and do the child choking assit (basically you hit them pretty hard on their back while you hold them over your legs). A few strokes in, he threw up and spit out what had gotten stuck. Thanks goodness I new what to do - basically, I went with my gut and had place of mind to remember the infant first aid training we had taken. We still called 911, of course! The firemen COULD NOT have been nicer. They told us they would prefer we call - they move extra fast to get out on calls when kids are involved.

So glad Kyle is okay! The mama instinct is pretty strong.

[Jennie]

Bethany, wow. Makes me feel (EVEN MORE SO) that I need to get in and take a class.



Funny, they dispatched (for whatever reason) a cop first who was AWFUL and RUDE and said, "Your kid looks fine. Why did you call?" The firefighters who were right behind him were as nice as can be and basically told the cop, "We got this, get out of here."

Always call and get peace of mind. It's a SMALL PRICE TO PAY.

[Megan]

Oh, Jennie. God, I am so sorry you had to go through that. And SO happy Kyle is ok. Yes, things will happen as they grow up, but it doesn't make it any easier, or less blame-y.

As someone whose daughter has stopped breathing in her arms three times, I no longer worry about being That Mom. People can judge all they want--she's still alive. That's all that matters to me.

Hugs to you guys.

[Bobbi Janay]

Oh my gosh do they think he is allergic to dairy or just that hi little system is not ready for it yet? Hugs girl on handling it all so calm, if it would have been I would have called whoever fed him the ice cream and chewed them out.

[Jennie]

Honestly, it could be either. He was VERY colicky/gassy/fussy when he was first born and it all went away when I stopped breastfeeding. So ... something I was eating (even though I cut out as much as I could think of) was bugging him something fierce. Was it dairy? Could be.

But, until he's a year and we give him milk products in safe amounts, we won't know.



Definitely a reaction of some kind though. Definitely.

[Manda]

HOLY CRAP! I'm so sorry that happened and I'm so glad he's (and you're) ok! Some people have balls, I tell you. My mom fed Sydney half a Costco sundae unbeknownst to me when she was here visiting. I was so mad and she could have given a flying fuck, quick honestly. I should forward this post to her!

[Manda]

(p.s. I NEVER say that word, by the way. I just needed to express how PISSED OFF I was)

[Jennie]

You should, Manda. Let us be a cautionary tale! So many (VERY WELL MEANING) grandparents just give kids whatever they want because that's how they did it or because "what's the worst that can happen?" When it comes to food, I'm going to take a very strong less is more approach from here on. Babies don't need ice cream (or ice cream sundaes). PERIOD.

[Marilyn]

I saw your tweet earlier and was looking for this post. Honestly your post just sent shivers down me. I have a little one too and I know how it is when you get together with people and they all want to hold the baby. You kind of feel like you lose control of them at that point. I'll remember this post and make sure I keep a closer eye on Em when she's doing the pass around the room.

[Sarah]

Scary! I had no idea little bits of grown up food here and there could run the risk of having that kind of reaction. I will keep this in mind with baby on the way. Glad to hear he's ok now, I can only imagine what you went through.

[Jennie]

Marilyn, exactly. And these are all very trust-worthy people who adore our kids, so we feel guilty for being kind of helicopter-y with them, BUT this is all I needed to experience to remind me that my gut is more important than any relationship I have with ANYONE. If my gut says NO, it's a no, no matter how offended you might be. (You, as in a general you-type person, not YOU personally, of course!)

[Jennie]

Sarah, I really didn't know it could be THAT bad, either. I would often roll my eyes at people who said, "wait until six months! wait until a year!" But, now I know better.

[Kim]

Scary!!!
Many a time have I had to play the Mean Mommy and say no to my in-laws, who wanted to give our (now 16 month old) son random choking hazards. Gum, anyone? So stupid. You HAVE to be your child's biggest advocate, in all scenarios, no matter what 'they' say behind your back.

[TUWABVB]

WOW - I was freaking out just reading this - and here I am NOT a mom and I wasn't even there. I can't even imagine what you went through - I'm so sorry! I'm just glad he's okay and so are both of you. Gosh, I didn't even know that cream could hurt a baby.

By the way, for what it's worth, from what I read you are doing a fantastic job as a mom and so is Mike as a dad. Don't even doubt that.

[rebecca]

we are pretty laid back, too, which is good because my mother thinks a baby can have little bites of anything...but i have had to put my foot down on milk products...especially since CJ is lactose intolerant...sometimes people just don't think.
And you got through the first ER trip! Ours was Violet's dog bite...it was bad enough when I could talk to her and explain what was going to happen...I can't imagine going through it as six months.
Isn't it amazing what your mommy instinct kicks in and has you do, though? You did a great job.

[Jen]

Jennie, first I'm so glad that Kyle is okay. I can't imagine how scary that must have been for you.

We've taken lots of teasing for not letting Avery, our 5 month old, have bites and tastes of things, but I don't care. Thanks for sharing the story with us.

[jodifur]

don't beat yourself up that you didn't take a class. Our childbirth class had a baby CPR component but I'm not sure I could do it if my life depended on it in the moment.

[Camels & Chocolate]

That's so scary! I'm sorry you had to go through all of that.

[Elizabeth]

Oh, Jennie. It sounds so so so so scary. I absolutely think you did the right thing.
I seriously was horrified reading this whole thing. I can't imagine how scary that would be. I think I would be traumatized for quite some time. But I am SO glad KC is ok.

[Kate]

Oh how scary! I'm so sorry you & Kyle had to go thru that. But thank goodness he's okay.

My daughter at 9 months got a taste of some homemade ice cream that I'd made (my doing) and she immediately got all red and splotchy on her face & neck. I watched her closely for hours and she was fine. It happened another time a few months later where she actually threw up and was red & splotchy. Long story short, she had some food allergies. Eggs whites, which is what I suspected, but more surprisingly to MILK. By the time it was discovered she had had formula for a couple months & was switching to cow's milk.

We met with an allergist who said that egg alleriges cause the irritated skin and the milk allergies cause the upset stomach. Which would explain why she was such a spitty and fussy baby; she had a tummy ache the whole time! And at 2 months the pediatrician blamed it on reflux and started her on meds, which did no good. No one ever suggested to me to try cutting things out of MY diet (I was breastfeeding). So the poor little gal spent most of her first year uncomfortable - no wondershe was so clingy!

The point of my epic comment is just to say you're correct in being That Mom when it comes to food. If Kyle's already had this episode, I'd watch for possible food allergies down the road. My daughter's were mild; we just avoided eggs and switched her to soy milk for about 6 months to give her system a break and she outgrew it by the time she was 2.

Again, so, SO glad Kyle is okay.

[La Petite CHic]

How awful and scary for all of you! I'm so glad that things turned out okay. HUGS.

[the new girl]

Oh, that's horrible. It sucks that you were by yourself, too. That is some scary shit right there.

Glad he's okay.

[ali]

GAH. sooooo glad he`s okay!

[Sara]

So, so glad he's ok! We also had a medical situation with my son when he was 6 months and let's just say that I am SO GLAD I listened to my instinct and my husband's and went to the ER because the outcome would have been so much worse if we hadn't. You're a fantastic mother and Kyle (and Mike) are so lucky to have you!

[See Sherm Blog]

Thank god he is ok! I saw your twitter, but this is just a horrible experience!

My sister just had to do the heimlich on her son in the store, after he ate a sample that was too big for him.

And right before Rowan was born, Kyle and I said we should learn baby cpr and what to do if they choke. Except we never signed up for the classes. These two stories just confirmed we are signing up for the classes.

I don't know how I would shake this either. Ugh. Hang in there! You were such a great mommy and did just the right thing. **hugs**

[Rachel]

So scary, but I'm so glad that you shared! It is so important to know what to do in these kinds of situations, but also just making sure the people around you know what's okay to feed him and what isn't will make a huge difference! I'm going to remember this when Wes is born! :)

[3carnations]

So glad he's okay! That sounds terrifying!

But the other people? Should NOT ever feed something to a baby without asking a parent if it's okay. EVER.

[for the love of pictures]

That must have been such a horrifying experience. Thank God he's okay now.

I found your site on 20SB, btw.

[Kristabella]

SCARY! I'm so glad he's OK!

When my first nephew was about 6 months old, I gave him some cheesecake and some ice cream. My sister flipped out because he's too young for that stuff. I had NO CLUE and felt so bad.

[Jessica]

Have you taken an infant/toddler CPR class? I plan on taking one before I give birth and I'm hoping it will make me feel a little more at ease... Sounds like you handled it REALLY well. You should feel good about that.

[Rhi]

So glad you're all okay! I told this story to Bill as a reason why certain family members will NEVER be able to hold our baby.