This post is like a Lady Gaga outfit: Strange but maybe a little fun, too.

Since a few of you have asked, Kyle is (well, until the next plague descends) feeling much better. There's this silly little thing parents do -- well, there's this silly little thing I do, as a parent -- that consists of wringing my hands like a crazy person each time we hit a speed bump, as if this less desirable phase is going to be The Way Things Stay Forever and Ever, Shoot Me Now. Regression -- whether by sickness or teething or growing pains or exhaustion or WHAT-THE-HELL-EVER -- is a tricky mind game, and it's hard to see past it. Sure, I logically know (uh, in hindsight) that the flu or a stomach virus or teething or Kyle just being an all-around grouchopotamus isn't a brand new normal, but it's hard not to let my cynical mind go there at times, like when he's screaming his head off at 2 a.m. or throwing his pacifier at my face at 4 a.m.

Then, we pass through the shitty stage and move on to smiles and laughs and long nights of sleep, and I am reminded how I sometimes desperately fail at perspective because after 27 years you'd think I'd have figured out by now that life is not a straight line at all, it's a back-and-forth, two-steps-forward, eighteen-steps-backward kind of dance. Nothing lasts very long, not even the flu/cold season.

So, yes, he's doing lots better. Let me show you!:

 

In his Pink Floyd t-shirt, making his papa proud.

I took more pictures of him over the weekend. You can see them all here.

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Also over the weekend I hosted a champagne and cake party with my friend Kristie. We had champagne (shocking!) and Sprinkles cupcakes and lots of ladies all gathered in my 1300-square-foot house, laughing and sipping and politely ignoring my child screaming from his room. (Nothing says PARTY! like a screaming baby, don't you agree?) But, really, we had a nice time.

My motivation for throwing the party was just celebrating friendships in general. When I first began dating Mike I let nearly everything else important in my life fall by the wayside. Grades, friends, my sorority, my job, so on and sadly so forth. About six months in, something shifted, and I missed who I was (and who I had) before Mike. Taking a renewed interest in my life improved my relationship with him. (Win-win!) So, I'm now a pretty big advocate for women having strong friendships outside of their marriage or relationship. You can never have too many people in your corner, so pick funny, smart, confident, supportive women and spend time with them.

With champagne and carbs. Hard to top that.

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I invited a couple of those women to see New Moon with me this weekend, too, so I wouldn't have to see it alone. The movie was great, in a really-horribly-acted-and-super-duper-cheesy way. Those are the best kinds, aren't they? It's like the feature film equivalent to One Tree Hill or Dawson's Creek or anything that's ever aired on MTV. I found myself clapping and groaning and laughing and loving every minute. 

You should go see it, too.

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Mike and I have one ongoing, headache-inducing fight, and it's all about me. Oh, that's fun, isn't it! To be the cause of frustration in my marriage! I think I shall add that skill of mine to my resume. Need to drive your husband insane, give me a call, I'm an expert! See, I tend to abandon household tasks half-way through completing them. For example, I toss my shoes off when I walk in the door instead of taking them to our room. I tend to wash all the dishes except the pots and those pots sit in the kitchen sink for a week before someone (uh, not me) stomps around and puts them away. I fold the clothes but abandon the sock pairing. I...well, you get it, don't you? I'm pretty spectacularly awful at follow-through, that's the point of this, and it drives Mike to pull his hair out and drink and call me names (OK, he doesn't actually call me names BUT I BET HE WANTS TO).

The root of the problem is (hopefully) my attention span and not my sheer laziness. I get distracted easily and regular chores suffer. Mike also happens to be ridiculously weird about things like this and where it may not bother the average person, it REALLY, REALLY, OH-MY-HELL-WOMAN-GET-YOUR-SHIT-TOGETHER bothers him.

I feel like I do so much around the house and for our family that a rogue pair of shoes or a dirty pot or a random pair of socks shouldn't stress anyone out. You should still buy me flowers daily because I'm awesome. Awesome people totally leave the lights on in every room in the house. YES THEY DO.

But, well, I love my husband and this really, really bothers my husband, and so I'd like to take a stab at fixing this, so perhaps my husband could go back to really, really loving me in return. Is there another way to remember to do all these things other than just, um, REMEMBERING? Because if I could just remember to do them, well, we would not be on the fourth paragraph of my marital issues, would we? No, we would not.

Do you perhaps suffer from this disorder too, this I Am So Busy and Important I Routinely Forget to Finish Simple, Ordinary Tasks disorder? Do you have a way to control this disorder? Would you like to share your wisdom with me? I think my husband would send you a thank you note in appreciation, and he never sends thank you notes for anything, ever, unless I write it and then have him sign it.

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This weekend, Kyle also crawled with his belly off the floor for the first time. He's become quite the army crawling expert and I wasn't sure he'd ever lift that pudge up to crawl like regular babies crawl, but then mid-champagne-and-cake party, he did it! And I teared up! And then I captured it again the next day. See!:

 

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Molly's still here, too. This is her put-upon face. The face I've seen regularly for the last 9 months. Don't feel too badly for her, she enjoyed an entire box of Pepperidge Farm cookies after our champagne-and-cake party, when we left her alone with them for hours. I can't really blame her, but I sure don't feel quite as eager to let her on our bed as I was the day before.

 

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I hope you have a very short work week and will be enjoying food and family and Black Friday sales in no time. We have some good things up at Style Lush this week (like this HANDMADE advent calendar, OMG) in honor of the holiday and shopping spirit and festiveness, so go enjoy.

Happy Turkey Week to you and yours.

Comments

[Shelly]

Ooh, I do the "half-the-housework" thing, too, except worse. Sometimes I don't even do half. And it drives my hubby crazy, too. So I will be checking back to see what words of wisdom you get from others, cause I could use them, too!

[Kristabella]

I wish I could get you to talk to my friend who recently got married and decided to cut us all out of her life. We're not sure why, but we're thinking she feels she's fine and dandy with a husband now, and she doesn't need us anymore.

She'll be in for a shock when she needs her girlfriends and they are no longer around.

[K]

Good luck with that housework thing. My roomie has the same problem but instead of getting mad at her for it, I eventually suck it up and clean up the mess in the kitchen or take her laundry out of the dryer for her (so I can use it) or you get the idea.. I don't know if she is lazy or she just gets distracted by the internet too much but it is frustrating at times. I'll check back for tips from your other readers.

[Holly]

OMG, your "disorder" is totally me! And I have no solution! :( Garrett always earnestly suggests to "try harder to remember" and um, hello there is no more frustrating advice than that. If I remember to try harder to remember, then I'm already remembering. Sigh...I have already forgotten my point and moved onto thinking about something else. This is why nothing ever gets completely done at my house. :)

[stephanie]

I'm happy to hear Kyle is feeling better!

I also suffer from "I Am So Busy and Important I Routinely Forget to Finish Simple, Ordinary Tasks disorder." In fact, I do EXACTLY the same exact things as you... I have no problem loading/unloading the dishwasher and taking care of small dishes, but leave all the pots and pans to my boyfriend (and when he is out of town, I store them in the sink, dirty, and wash only when I need one... removing ALL the other dirty pots and pans to the counter beside the sink to wash it, and then returning them to the sink, because OF COURSE I am not going to wash them now, even though the water is running and I am already sudsy, end longest parenthetical ever). I also have the same shoe problem as you, but it extends to water glasses too. I constantly leave a trail of shoes and cups in my wake. Luckily, we don't fight over it much... usually my boyfriend just washes the pots and pans and then will dramatically trip over my shoes so I remember to put them away.

(We each do our own laundry and he and I both subscribe to the move the pile of clean laundry from the dryer to the bed to the couch while we sleep, back to the bed in the morning routine until we finally put them away three days later.)

[Rachel]

Yay for crawling!! :)

[Natalie]

I'm glad Kyle is feeling well, and he was not screaming at the party! You couldn't even hear him. And plus everyone was so happy to see him when he woke up!

I have a solution to your sock problem! Micah bought all the same socks (these socks are the love of his life by the way) and therefore I do not have to match them. I simply dump them in his drawer. So, funny the other day I told him he should marry you that way neither Mike or I would be angry at a messy house.

Although we have not yet implemented this plan, the plan is to clean one thing per day, that way our weekend is not cleaning filled. Although his never his, but mine is!!! :( Mon-bathrooms, Tues-dust, wed-vacuum. And we could even switch off, he works on Mon and I work on Tues. I think I should be done with any of this housework b/c I cook & do the dishes!

[Natalie]

oh, and since you respond best to verbal and written praise, I would tell Mike that if he wants you to clean then he better positively reinforce you through praise. You can reinforce yourself by making lists, and once you finish your task you can cross it off. I know you love lists! Make your tasks small, so that you can make accomplishments.

[Elizabeth]

OMG, you're Erik!
Tell Mike I have started throwing anything Erik leaves lying around out in the back yard. Seems to work wonders when you have to out there to get your hat/flip flips/head phones/slippers/pants/etc.

[Heather]

Sniff, sniff...I am so sad that I missed the champagne and cupcake party! I loved this post, though...very upbeat!

I would agree with making a list, and then crossing it off. And please don't ever tell Bill's children that awesome people leave the lights on, because I can't get them to turn off lights when they leave a room!!!

[K]

I understand completely!!! To avoid the on-going (but still occasionally occurring) argument, when my now-husband and I moved in together we discussed our least favorite chores. Turns out they were different. I don't mind doing the dishes except I *hate* washing silverware. He doesn't mind washing silverware, but he hates cleaning the toilet. So, we compromised - whenever I do the dishes I can always leave him the silverware as long as I take care of cleaning the toilet. It doesn't solve all the issues, but it helps :)

[elizabeth]

My problem isn't so much of getting stuff half done and being too important to finish or whatever...its that I get distracted easily. I'll be cleaning the kitchen and take somethingto the bathroom and see something there I need to clean and clean that. Then I will pick up something from there that has to go to another room RIGHT NOW and take it there. There I am distracted by something else and work ont hat awhile until I have to take something to yet another room. Gah. You get hte point surely :). Its exhausting being me cleaning my teeny tiny house!

[NGS]

I learned the hard way that I am not a multitasker. People act like being able to multitask is such a great asset to their lives, but I've found that my attempts to multitask means several things get done poorly instead of even one thing getting done correctly.

My "fix" to this is really to focus on one task at a time. This means even if I'm fixing breakfast, I can only do one thing at a time. Take the glass out of the cabinet. Get the juice out of the fridge. Pour the juice. Set the juice on the table. Put the juice back in the fridge. Then move to taking the grapes out of the fridge. Then put them in a bowl. Then clean them. Then put them on the table. My mom can look in the fridge, take out everything she needs at one time (the juice AND the grapes at once), but I just can't. I'll get lost in the steps.

It's focus, sure, but it's focus on one thing. It's really changed my life. That sounds so dumb, but it's true. I'm never going to be a multitasker, but stuff will always be done correctly.

[Jess]

Maybe you can arrange some sort of chore balance that maximizes what you ARE good at (starting the chores) and minimizes what you AREN'T (finishing them)? So like, instead of you doing the dishes while he does the vacuuming... you could start the dishes and he finishes them? And then later you start the vacuuming and he finishes that? I mean, it sounds weird but maybe something like that would work?

[Sarah Bennett]

I am the same way with clutter..I can mess up our kitchen island in under 5 minutes and it drives my husband CRAZY. What makes it worse is that we have a drop zone at our back door specifically designed for dropping your crap..purse, shoes, bags, etc. and yet I still walk right past it and take the extra 10 steps to the island where I kick off my shoes and drop everything. Ric almost always ends up tripping over them during the evening and then grumbling and picking them up and putting them up (I mean I wear a size 9, so I know he can see them!) I fully believe that I would eventually get around to picking them up myself but the real kicker is when I find myself getting mad at HIM for doing it for me. That doesn't even make any sense at all!

I love reading your blogs. The one from a day or two ago about what you wanted and what you got was so beautiful!

[Swistle]

It's not a marital issue at our house, it's more of an issue for ME: I'm the one who leaves things unfinished AND I'm the one who's driven nuts by it. So to prevent getting angry AT MYSELF, I try to "leave a bookmark" in any task I have to leave half-completed. If I take the sheets off the bed but have to leave before I put fresh ones on, I'll be PISSED if I don't discover this until I'm exhausted and ready to crawl into bed, so I take a single pillowcase and put it on the kitchen counter. I'll see it there later and remember I need to get back to the sheets. If I'm folding a load of laundry and have to go do something else partway through, I might carry the basket with me to the next thing, so I remember to pick it up again when I'm done with the interruption.

It doesn't always work, but it REDUCES the number of times I'm kicking myself.

[Moose]

Champagne and cake party you say? WHY DON'T I LIVE CLOSER. Blast.

[Belle]

I ALWAYS leave the socks inside out and scrambled until it gets to the desperation-I-have-no-socks-in-my-drawer point. No advice though besides that pesky remembering thing.
Also, I need your address so I can show up at the next champagne and cake party? I mean... so I can send you a present!