First things first:
He wasn't thrilled, but he wasn't screaming his head off and if there's one thing I've learned since becoming a mom it's you take your victories where you can find them.
It's been pretty cold in Texas the last week (need I remind you of the snow?), so we skipped the town's (outdoor) Christmas parade and joined in the fun for (indoor) Santa pictures and free hot chocolate. When it was our turn, I said to the poor, teen-aged volunteer, "Take this quickly. I have no idea how it's going to go down." Good job teen-aged volunteer!
I had the rest of this post just-about written and it was a long, rant-y thing about angry holiday shoppers and judgmental Central Market cashiers, but then I changed my mind. I was blog browsing and came across a post somewhere (oh, I can't remember where now) and it was titled Day One. It was about something completely off-topic, but inspiration is funny. It knocks you over when you least expect it.
I started thinking about starting over, day one, instead of no-fun holiday shopping.
See, I haven't lost much weight. If we're being honest, I've lost some, gained some, lost some, gained some and (sigh) I'm just a few pounds shy of where I started. In April.
That's not easy to write.
I don't want to talk about why or that sometimes I think I need a cupcake even when I don't need a cupcake or that sometimes I think I need eight cupcakes when, well, who needs eight cupcakes other than the entire female cast of the new 90210? No, I don't want to talk about that. Those are all excuses, and I hate excuses no matter how many I seem to give myself.
There's just such a disconnect between what I want and what I do, and I think getting from where I am to where I want to be is such a long distance, it's become too daunting, overwhelming, even sabotaging me from getting started. The first few steps are the hardest, right?, and that's been true for me.
I still plan to make 2010 my year, and that includes finishing some races, even a half-marathon, and I have faith in myself even if I don't have much reason to. I'll get there.
I'm making today day one, even if it's the 8,000th day one I've had over the years. Every good, healthy change has a day one, especially the lasting changes. I don't know how many days this will take. I suspect a lot. I also suspect you're sick of hearing about this (I'm sick of it myself), and I'm sorry to subject you to so much whining and lamenting. Oh, no one likes a lamenter, not even me.
I hope this is my last day one.