Day One

First things first:

He wasn't thrilled, but he wasn't screaming his head off and if there's one thing I've learned since becoming a mom it's you take your victories where you can find them.

It's been pretty cold in Texas the last week (need I remind you of the snow?), so we skipped the town's (outdoor) Christmas parade and joined in the fun for (indoor) Santa pictures and free hot chocolate. When it was our turn, I said to the poor, teen-aged volunteer, "Take this quickly. I have no idea how it's going to go down." Good job teen-aged volunteer!

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I had the rest of this post just-about written and it was a long, rant-y thing about angry holiday shoppers and judgmental Central Market cashiers, but then I changed my mind. I was blog browsing and came across a post somewhere (oh, I can't remember where now) and it was titled Day One. It was about something completely off-topic, but inspiration is funny. It knocks you over when you least expect it.

I started thinking about starting over, day one, instead of no-fun holiday shopping.

See, I haven't lost much weight. If we're being honest, I've lost some, gained some, lost some, gained some and (sigh) I'm just a few pounds shy of where I started. In April.

That's not easy to write.

I don't want to talk about why or that sometimes I think I need a cupcake even when I don't need a cupcake or that sometimes I think I need eight cupcakes when, well, who needs eight cupcakes other than the entire female cast of the new 90210? No, I don't want to talk about that. Those are all excuses, and I hate excuses no matter how many I seem to give myself.

There's just such a disconnect between what I want and what I do, and I think getting from where I am to where I want to be is such a long distance, it's become too daunting, overwhelming, even sabotaging me from getting started. The first few steps are the hardest, right?, and that's been true for me.

I still plan to make 2010 my year, and that includes finishing some races, even a half-marathon, and I have faith in myself even if I don't have much reason to. I'll get there.

I'm making today day one, even if it's the 8,000th day one I've had over the years. Every good, healthy change has a day one, especially the lasting changes. I don't know how many days this will take. I suspect a lot. I also suspect you're sick of hearing about this (I'm sick of it myself), and I'm sorry to subject you to so much whining and lamenting. Oh, no one likes a lamenter, not even me.

I hope this is my last day one.

Comments

[Seriously, Jess]

First things first, your boy is so flipping cute!

Now... please allow me to offer a friendly tip: Find a better Santa. He's decent, but not great.

My first time with the Santa pic, I was just like you -- all about the outfit and praying my kid would smile. I didn't give Santa a second thought... and I wish I would've. Looking back, he was the lamest-looking Santa I've ever seen. My kid was adorable, but everyone kept asking me about the perv in the fake beard.

Find out where in your town you have an authentic looking, real-beard having, naturally jolly mall Santa - and then go there next time. You won't be sorry. No matter how cute the kid is, Santa can make or break the picture.

Oh, and I won't even go into the mangy-looking Cookie Monster I hired for my son's birthday party a few years ago. There was blue fuzz in the cake. (Should've asked how old the costume was.)

[jodifur]

First of all, such an adorable picture.

Second of all, I have been where you are a million and a half times. I wish I could tell you it is easy, and I finally took the weight of for good in a healthy way, but the only reason I'm not struggling right now is because I'm honestly too stressed to eat.

The best thing I can say is you can do it, you will do it, you just have to find the way that works for you. I believe in you.

[Bethany]

Personally, I think it doesn't matter how many times you start over as long as you continue to try. I say that as someone who has started over on my own projects many, MANY times, and today is another "Day One" for me as well. Good luck to you.

[Jess]

We skipped the Denver holiday parade too. Because it was 9 degrees out. No lie. Not worth it.

Good luck! I have faith that you can meet this goal.

[Rachel]

I think we can all relate to losing and gaining...it's such a vicious cycle, and we can never seem to end up where we really want to! Good Luck on your goal, and I know you can make it! :)

[Shelly]

Good luck to you! I'm in the same boat.

Adorable pic. As long as there's no screaming, it qualifies as a success!

[Amy --- Just A Titch]

It's funny that you wrote this today, because today is what I consider my Day One, also, and I was going to write about it, and then I was all, "Seriously, everyone must be tired of me whining about being fat and I'm tired of it too, so I'm going to not say anything!" But I am GLAD you did---it makes me want to talk about it more and to realize I'm not alone in my lust for chocolate and holiday food and food in general. We should buddy up on this---I know I need support! It's such a long battle.

Soooo, see you Friday for pizza and Candy Bar? Sigh.

[Emily Jane]

Hi, I'm new to your blog (I found you through my friend Kyla) but I have to say two things: 1) ADORABLE picture, and 2) I really hope 2010 is your year - I've been in that discrepancy between where you are and where you want to be so often and it's a great feeling to be able to take the first step, on day one, to getting there. I'm rooting for you!

[She Likes Purple]

Seriously, Jess, we're actually pretty fond of the picture. Maybe Santa isn't the world's best, but he'll certainly do. Thanks for the tips, though!

[Maura]

Kyle is growing up so quickly! I thought you were going to say that was Mike's first picture or something! He looks like a little boy! An adorable, scrumptious, want to give him a squeeze little boy. So cute.

Congratulations on your Day One. As always, you inspire me when I am down to pick myself up, dust myself off and try again. Thanks for giving me a new way to look at things.

And I'm proud of you for making today a new start. Happy Day One. xoxo

[Heather]

Happy Day One, Jennie! I'm running a half marathon next year, too...if I keep saying it, I'll do it. I am supposed to run one this coming Sunday...but let's not talk about that. In the middle of next summer, I'll start training. You can totally do this! You'll be so super proud of yourself and amazed at what your body can do (not nearly as amazed at growing a baby, but still amazed, I promise).

[Cherie]

Are you sure? I was just thinking the other day how good you are looking...