What a crazy-ass month this has been. Oh, we had the usual (mortgage payment! ear infection! commute that sucks balls!), but we also had the very, very unusual (visits from friends I don't see nearly enough, work trips to New York, our three-year wedding anniversary that included a very expensive dinner out that we didn't have to pay a dime for, thank heavens, and also KYLE IS WALKING WHOO).
It was a good month. A very, very good month.
I am still trucking along with these fitness goals of mine, and they have become slow going, my friends. I'm stalled, basically, and totally annoyed with that especially since I know it's all because of me and my occasional indulgences and the aforementioned trip to the city with the best food (and easily the best cupcakes) in the country and also an anniversary dinner where my husband was very much in the "oh, just order another glass/plate/bowl of whatever you want" camp.
Obviously I chose that night to decide he was clearly the smartest man alive and I should listen to him wholeheartedly.
I've lost 25 pounds or so. I (still) have 23 pounds to go.
When I get out of the 150s, I'm buying myself something pretty.
But, I signed up for my first 10K (it'll be in September) and on this last business trip, I visited the fitness center twice. As in more than once. That was new for me.
I think what's most important to remember if you too want to change your life (in any way) is this: it's painful and slow and full of that frustrating dance combining progression with regression with standing still. You'll know better than to do a million things you'll do anyway because you're human. It's never about those moments where you screw up or choose poorly, but about the moments you right the wrongs.
There will always be wrongs, accept that now. But how do you right them?
This month I also got to meet some really incredible bloggers, including Jonna, who is so much more than a blog friend. I launched a style blog with her. I texted her when Kyle took his first steps. She offered me and Mike one of her guest rooms this fall, so we can make a trip we weren't sure we'd be able to financially swing before. She sent me the most beautiful birthday present and constantly tells me I'm smart and capable and, most importantly, I'm a good mother.
We got cupcakes in Cambridge (long story why I was there) this past week, and as we finished up and collected our things, she hugged me again and said, "you're here," and it was like being with an old friend, like reuniting with her after years apart.
I missed her the rest of the day, and I miss her still, and without blogging or the internet, I wouldn't know her at all.
To think I only used it for porn before.
I then sat (the very next night) with three more bloggers who had me laughing and nodding along with what they were saying and not once did I sit awkwardly thinking of how to fill the silence. (Not that I wasn't awkward both days, OH I WAS BUT THAT'S JUST ME.)
It was such a nice week for remembering why I do this, and it's not for free shit, I can tell you that much.
Finally, since I'm apparently in a very sappy mood indeed, May was really cool in that I've been making a real effort to be more kind to Mike, who is the one person on earth who most deserves my kindness. While I was in New York he (along with my mother-in-law and my mom) kept everything afloat without a single complaint. He knew I was worried about things both at home and with work, so he told me over and over not to worry, he had it covered, everything was great.
I came home to champagne chilling in the fridge, dinner in the oven, and smiles on both my boys faces.
I love those boys of mine so damn much. That's how I'd like to sum up May.
June is going to be even better, I know it.
Mike took this picture while I was away and sent it to me. You can imagine how much it made my day.