Eight

As the years tick by, I think there's nothing I haven't shared (that I could share) about Mike. I've shared it all. He has horrible taste in television (Futurama, Ice Road Truckers, Moonshiners) and is constantly opposed to doing the dishes but is, hand to God, the kindest, most incredibly grounded, simplest (in the best way) man I've ever known. He loves his son and he loves his motorcycle and he loves his family, and if you mess with any of those things, he's going to pretend he's never met you, no more chances, best of luck to you. 

Yes, you know all that. You definitely know all that if you know Mike. You know he's quiet at first, sarcastic every time after that, and you know he's got the most beautiful shade of red hair on the planet (when he ever grows it long enough to see, MICHAEL). He also has a smile that could stop wars, and could definitely save marriages. I swear by that smile. He gave that smile to my son. 

Damn those smiles.

He also changed my life, you probably know that too, but you might not know that he didn't change it with our first kiss or our first date or the first "I love you"s -- not that those moments weren't incredible because they were -- but he changed my life on one random sticky summer day in 2004 as we were driving from my house to get lunch.

I asked him what he was doing that night, after he got off work, assuming we'd do something together, and I flippantly mentioned that Cherie wanted to hang out but I could see her the next day if he wanted to get together instead and he slowly swiveled his head toward me and said, causally, naturally, life-changingly, "Go out with Cherie. Babe, if we're going to be together forever, we don't have to be together tonight."

I wish I could articulate for every girl who's just started dating someone how important it is to stay connected with your friends, to value your relationship enough to step away from it sometimes, to trust that giving anyone space won't hand them a ticket out, but it's a lesson we have to learn ourselves. 

I was never supposed to learn that lesson.

I look at every relationship I've ever had and I see how they pointed me toward not handling that moment well, not handling this gift Mike was giving me with any grace, but I still managed to. Not that we were fight- or obstacle-free from then on, oh lord no, we just fought last week, but it was such a turning point in my life, such a turning point in my relationship.

Sometimes I think there's nothing else to be said of Mike. I've said it all. I've even said that before (that I've said it all), but then I think that this is the guy who has given me a million gifts, a million stories, a million everything, and I could spend forever filling up this blog with posts worthy of the "Mike" tag and still not share it all with you. 

He's got horrible taste in tv. He never does the dishes. (You are rolling your eyes right now because you get it. HE NEVER DOES THE DISHES.) He doesn't know Twitter from Facebook from Pinterest and when I talk about the Blathering, he still thinks it's going to be in Sacramento. He wants me to love all those social-media-type things, but he'll never get them, and that's so beautifully Mike. "I don't have to love something to be happy that you love that something."

But, he loves his son. He loves his motorcycle. He loves his family.

He'd swear up and down that he didn't start loving me eight years ago today. It was more like seven and some change. It took him a little while to get there, he'd say. That first night all those years ago was not about love ohhhhhh no, it was about unbloggable things.

But, here's something you might not know. I think I started loving him that first night. The day we became just-maybe-possibly-us. I loved him from that first moment, when he offered me his bar tab, his phone, his compliment, even if I might not have known it then. But, ohhhhh I loved him, instantly.

I love him, still. 

Eight years ago. Eight years later. 

Damn that smile. 

Comments

[A'Dell]

I love this post. You're a gorgeous couple and I"m so glad to know you both.

[bessie.viola]

This is so beautiful. Lucky, lucky, both of you... enjoy your day remembering how it all began. :)

[Heather]

And damn YOU for making me cry!

I want to have a book club discussion about THIS POST, and how it warms my heart to know that you're loved and cherished and adored, because EVERYONE deserves that!!!!

One of your commenters on your Christmas post said something that has stuck with me so much that I wrote it on a sticky note on my computer. She said that your Christmas was so wonderful because you made a deliberate choice to be present and grateful. And because of that, you will NEVER run out of things to say about Mike, because you deliberately choose (every day) to be present with him and grateful for him. And he clearly does the same for you.

BIG.CONTENTED.SIGH.

[Anne]

I love this post SO MUCH. It made me tear up! "If we're going to be together forever, we don't have to be together tonight." I love that so SO much. So true. Keep your friends, have other things, it's all wonderful. You've got a great guy there.

[Life of a Doctor's Wife]

You write so beautifully - what a wonderful picture you paint of your husband.

[Jesabes]

I love it when you write about Mike. It's so beautiful. Can you write an anniversary letter to MY husband?? It will be easy to remember because we got married the same day you did. (Or the day before? I can't remember. Ours was May 18, 2007.)

[Elsha]

This is so beautiful. I wish I could articulate all the things I love about my husband.

[Kathryn B]

Wow. Of course you know I adore you, and that therefore I think Mike is a lucky dude, but it sounds like you are pretty lucky too. I'm so happy you have confidence and contentment and butterflies in your marriage. ;)

[Jen]

So very sweet, Jennie. I hope to meet Mike some day. He seems like an awesome guy. :) You're both very lucky.

[Caitlin]

I just love this post. Love it. WHAT HEATHER SAID.

I love the way that you write about Mike, and I hope you continue to do so. I also love the healthy example you set with your relationship - both for Kyle, and for others. Kyle is so lucky to have you both for his parents. And your friends are lucky to have you both around, too.

[lemon gloria]

This is just lovely, Jennie. Congratulations! Eight is big, and I'm so happy for you guys!

[Dani]

This made me tear up. Beautifully said!

[agirlandaboy]

Yay Mike and Jennie! So glad you found each other (and I know Kyle is too).

[Amanda P. Westmont]

This is beautiful, Jennie. I am SO INSANELY jealous that you get to make babies with someone you love that much. I didn't get that because I didn't know it was possible for me. The fact that you actually KNOW how lucky you are makes it all that much more beautiful.

[Jennifer, Playgroups are no place for children]

This is one of the best things I ever read. Congratulations on eight years. You are both very lucky people to have found one another.

[donna]

What a lovely post and what a lovely family you three make.

[Tara]

Ahem...just be happy it's not American Pickers and every single storage unit auction show known to man, ok? YOU'RE GETTING OFF EASY WITH ICE ROAD TRUCKERS!

Beyond that, though, you guys are absolutely adorable. Jennie, you just have a way with words, especially when you're talking about Kyle and Mike. It's just all kinds of beautiful.

And it usually ends with me in tears, but always in a good way. Congrats on finding each other 8 years ago :)

[Ginger]

Damn you have a way with words. I love everything about this.

[Hannah Joy]

This almost reads like what I am living now. I say almost because Someone has got excellent taste in TV and is as OCD as I am so if I don't get bossy, he'll actually fight me to do the dishes! Also, our relationship is young in time terms but already well-established in soul terms. We know. And just like your Mike, he has a smile that magics all the bad stuff in life away. Thank you for sharing your happiness with the internets at large - words can be such a precious gift!

[Kathryn]

Does he have a single brother? ;)

[maura]

I echo everyone else. This post, or the love emanating from your words, gave me good bumps and made me tear up. Like you, I never had a good example of a happy, healthy relationship. Finding your blog, reading about your love for each other, all those years ago was, has been, and still is a positive influence on me. Thank you so much for sharing.

[maura]

I echo everyone else. This post, or the love emanating from your words, gave me good bumps and made me tear up. Like you, I never had a good example of a happy, healthy relationship. Finding your blog, reading about your love for each other, all those years ago was, has been, and still is a positive influence on me. Thank you so much for sharing.