She Likes Purple

Aggieland Sneak Peek

***

We took a less-than-24-hour whirlwind trip to College Station this weekend, but it was so, so nice. Thanks to A'Dell for putting us up for the night and to her family for being so welcoming and warm. 

My family is swell.

More pictures.

We're covering a lot of ground in this post including books, music, blogging, and toddlers

First, a big thank you for all your kind words and emails yesterday. It seemed a little weird writing about at first, but you're never anything but supportive. It always means so much. Seriously, thanks.

***

If you've been following my sidebar list (because my to-do list should totally be a priority for you), you know I try to discover a new band or artist once a month. If you don't follow the list, well now you also know.

Anyway, no lie, all the musicians I've listed have come from one of two places: 1) Pandora or 2) CW shows, most likely One Tree Hill.

But have you discovered any great new music you'd like to tell me about? 

***

Kyle's transitioning from the pre-toddler to toddler room at school and he's ... uh ... not handling it so well. He loves his current class and his teacher so much that I drop him off happy as can be, playing with his friends and waving goodbye, and I pick him up in the other room where he's hanging onto the window that separates the rooms SOBBING and POINTING, like get me the fuck where I belong people.

The teachers are all very reassuring that this is totally normal and he'll be fine in a couple weeks but. AH. MY HEART. IT HURTS.

I hate seeing him upset and, yeah, I hate paying for him to be so upset, especially when he was really thriving in his room. I understand he can't stay in the pre-toddler room forever, he's one of the oldest as it is, but maybe they could just move the teacher with him? Keep him in the same room and move all the other toddlers to him? That's not crazy or demanding or weird to request, right?

But, tell me, did your kids have a hard time transitioning rooms at their day care/pre-school?

***

I'm going to BlogHer next week. WILL I EVER STOP TRAVELING AND LEAVING MY CHILD WITH OTHER PEOPLE WHO LOVE HIM? It's also become so much harder to leave him now that he's older and fun and able to give me kisses and hugs goodbye. And punish me upon my return. Oh, hey, I'll just be over here preferring my dad to you, MOTHER.

Anyway, if you're going to be at BlogHer, please say hello. Here's a picture of me, so you know who to approach and hand a glass of champagne to.

I hope to meet you, all of you, and I also hope you'll swing by the small happy hour the Style Lush editors and writers are hosting.

We'll be in the Lobby Lounge of the Hilton Hotel at 5 p.m. on Saturday, August 7th. 

(Feel free to also email me for my cell number, in case you'd like to meet up at any other point over the weekend.)

***

Randomly, any good books you've been reading? I'm on a reading kick. I haven't said that in three years.

Briefly standing still

This month has been (and will continue to be until it's over) plain insane. I cram a lot into my days, my life, and that's kind of how I prefer it, but this month went from kinda busy to HOLY SHIT WHAT JUST HAPPENED pretty quickly. If I let it, this month will fly be without me even noticing, without me even taking one second to slow down and enjoy some truly enjoyable things.

Like....

The sunset in Portland.

Kyle and I having a dance party in our living room this past weekend.

Closing my laptop to finish a book.

Mike and I squeezing in a date night to see Eclipse this weekend and having an hour to kill before the movie started, so we people watched the time away. (While Mike drank the biggest blue raspberry slushie I've ever seen.)

Enjoying a nice German dinner with my mom.

Meeting bloggers in person and no longer worrying about those meet-ups beforehand.

Bloody Marys with one of my best friends. 

Crawling into Cherie's guest bed at 10 pm, which is the earliest I've gone to bed all year, I'd bet.

Leaving the house to run some errands this past weekend and then having to turn around and go back because we forgot something. When we pulled into the drive no more than five minutes after first leaving, Kyle got SO FREAKING EXCITED to be home, screeching and laughing, like MAN, I LOVE THIS PLACE. Eh, he's a toddler, who knows what he was really thinking, but that's all I've ever wanted for him, to associate his home with happiness.  

The incredibly kind ticket agent with Southwest Airlines. Good customer service is rare. I won't forget him anytime soon.

Snickers 90-calorie ice-cream bars. Delicious.

Top Chef nights with Mike.

Sitting outside The Four Graces winery, talking to Cherie about work and life and getting tan. 

Mike letting me sleep in till 11 am this past Saturday. That man deserves things I can't talk about on this blog.

Our new baby nephew, who was born last week. We have so many boys in our family, it's unreal, but they're each such a perfect fit.

Life is spinning fast right now. But not too fast that I can't hold still when I need to.

***

I leave for San Diego Wednesday, and I look forward to standing still a little bit while I'm gone. If you're in the area, come visit my company at a meet-and-greet party this Saturday night at the House of Blues in downtown San Diego. (Click on the link for more details.)

More about Cherie (and what she can do for you)

My trip to Portland (I leave tomorrow) hasn't been all carbs and champagne. Cherie is one of the most ambitious people I know, so while I've been here, we've spent a nice chunk of time hanging out in her office, plotting how to take over the world.

Or, more specifically, we've been chatting about her start-up web design and marketing company, C*Squared Associates.

I know Cherie's talented, but I had no idea how far she had come in the last couple years. She whipped up a new banner for my site in no time, and she helped me with a couple other projects I had on my plate. 

Because I not only adore Cherie, I also truly and wholeheartedly believe in her, I'd love for you to check out her site and her work, and if you need a blog banner, a sidebar graphic, a Twitter background, or a complete site redesign, even, please hire her.

And if you're in the Portland area, call her. There's no better person to talk creativity and life with over a glass of something bubbly.

(I'm back home tomorrow, and that's probably best since my waistline can't take one more day of eating Portland's fine foods and my heart can't take one more day being away from my boys.)

Blog crushes

I also got to meet Manda of Mandajuice fame while in Portland this weekend. She was a refreshing reminder that sometimes someone can be as awesome offline as they are online.

As were Kerri, Blythe (who has found The Fountain of Youth, good god), and Rhiannon. The conversation was just so easy among us. Man, I love when the conversation is easy.

Portland sunset

Sometimes you don't know your soul needs a little healing until it's healed.

June recap: The month of a million firsts and a million degrees

(Hey, if you want, you can check out my recaps for January, February, March, April, and May. Not sure why you'd want to, but there are the links for easy clicking.)

***

Other than the temperature outside (balls hot), June's been pretty nice to us. Man, I hope this isn't an ebbs and flows kind of thing because I'd like July to be nice, too. And every month after that. AM NOT GREEDY, SHUSH.

Anyway, let's get to recapping, yo!

First, my ass. Why not start there? It's shrunk! A little! If you're following along with my weight-loss calendar at The Stir, you know I've officially lost 28 pounds since January 1st and have about 20 left to lose. I've given myself a goal end date of January 1, 2011. Six more months to go!

I also ran 25 miles this month, and that proves I can technically run a marathon. As long as the volunteers don't mind moving to the event site for a month.

I've said this before, I'm sure, but man I enjoy running. More than I ever thought I would or could, and it's officially become my go-to exercise of choice.

I still want to do more, though, and I wrote this post of 5 activities I'd (eventually) like to try/sign-up for. I'm not kidding about ballet, either.

***

This month we also did a few things for the first time. We went to the Dallas Farmers Market, which we were blown away by. We also took Kyle to Sea World, which was magical. (It also made me excited to take him to Disney World one day.) And Mike and I took a sushi cooking class, which was something I've always wanted to do. (Sushi pictures!)

When Mike and I first started dating, we used to excitedly announce when something was the first thing. The first time we walked to class together, first movie date, first road trip, our first fight, even. Eventually all those firsts faded because after 6 years together, it can feel like you've done all there is to do.

It's nice to remind ourselves that there's still a world of firsts for us to experience together.

***

Oh, and Mike got in a motorcycle accident. That part of the month sucked ass, but he's okay! He's in one piece! We're practicing gratitude instead of panicky, motorcycles-are-death-mobiles sentiments.

(I don't think that, by the way, no matter how shaken his accident might have made me.)

***

I'm also enjoying my Real Marriages series, especially since I've had some amazing guest posts (and more to come) and spotlighted some stunning posts elsewhere. In the coming weeks, we're going to tackle how couples fight, in-law fun, and who handles the finances and why.

If you want to see a topic covered, comment or email. I'd love to hear what you'd love to hear.

***

I also have loads to say about some other topics: updates on our budget, updates on meal planning and grocery shopping, some thoughts on friendship, too. If you care about those things, I'll be writing on them soon.

***

Then there's Kyle.

He's both the most stunning, inspiring, hilarious human being I've ever known and the reason I have sprouted gray hair recently.

He is either driving me mad or making me look up how much a pony would cost because HE SO DESERVES A PONY.

He's saying some words (flower, outside, duck, water, thank you), but he's not saying enough to alleviate how frustrated he gets when he wants me to understand something he's trying to express, and since I don't speak whacked-out toddler, I look at him with a confused expression a lot. I imagine your own mother not understanding what you need and want would drive you to shriek at the top of your lungs. Scratch that, I don't imagine, I know because THAT'S WHAT HE DOES. THAT IS A FACT.

The timeouts, they have begun.

But he hugs and kisses when you request one of either. He knows how to "be gentle" and he's working on that with Molly. He holds my hand when I request him to, as we walk to the mail box each evening. He waves "hello!" to everyone he sees, and he just learned the itsy-bitsy spider in class the other day, which is really just him smashing his fingers together.

He rarely sits still, but he can spend a half hour just looking at one book, over and over. He knows where the birds and horses and cows are in his favorite book. He is nearly obsessed with ladybugs. He thinks playing tug of war is hilarious, HE CANNOT STOP LAUGHING.

He is starting to prefer me to almost anyone, except both his grandmas. He nearly pushes me out the door when either of them are around. PEACE MOM, WE'RE GOOD, BYE NOW.

He loves motorcycles (hold me) and he does vroom noises when he sees them.

Being his mother kicks ass. Sometimes it kicks my own ass, but mostly it's just this awesome, fun ride I get to be on every single day.

***

Lord, this is long.

***

July is going to be crazy. We have family in town for July 4th, and we'll see how Kyle does at his first fireworks display. We have a few fun date nights planned. I have a work trip to San Diego. And I am determined to lose a few more pounds, learn how to poach an egg, and read a couple books.

What do you have planned for July? And how was your June. (I genuinely like to hear, so share.)

Sea World sneak peek

We visited some family this past weekend and that visit included a trip to Sea World.

I used to pity families I'd see carrying three bags, a stroller, and a screeching baby around a steaming hot amusement park. Why would anyone pay for that kind of torture when you could stay home, not carry a thing, and lock the baby in a padded room?

I thought parents were insane.

Then, this weekend, a killer whale jumped out of the water mid-afternoon and my son started clapping, unprompted, before anyone else around us. It was instinctual, and it was amazing.

We had so much fun, I can't believe the same boy we hung out with all weekend was the same boy I was wringing my hands over last week.

It was hot and tiring, and Kyle didn't get a nap the whole day and my feet hurt and we paid $8 for a salad that was truly disgusting. And that was the cheapest part of the day.

And I'd do it all over again in a heartbeat.

Parents really are insane.

I hope your weekend was as magical as ours.

(Here are more pictures from the weekend, but you must be a flickr friend to view.)

I have some questions for you

1. Have you ever been to San Diego? Have you loved a restaurant there so much you need to tell me about it? (I've been, more than once, but only when I was a kid and back then we ate at a lot of Bakers Squares and Pizza Huts.) I'll be there for work next month. (Oh, are you in/near San Diego?)

2. Mike and I are going to Boston for a wedding this fall (hi, Heather!), and we're extending the trip just a little, so we can take that much-needed, long-awaited, just-us-two trip I've been wanting to take since before our kid was born.

We're able to take this trip because Jonna has been kind enough to offer us a guest room. I WANT TO KISS HER, SHE'S SO WONDERFUL. (The internet wins again!) Anyway, Mike's never been, and I've been for a total of like three hours. Any tips/suggestions/good food I have to try?

3. What's your favorite food blog?

4. Do you watch True Blood? Our anthology A Taste of True Blood is officially out, and I'm so proud of this book. It's got a fantastic cover, has great content, and I think it's a really fun read for fans. I'm not paid to say any of that, you should know, but I'm saying it anyway. If you want to buy the book, please do so for 30% off the cover price.

5. How are you?

Answer one or all below!

May recap

What a crazy-ass month this has been. Oh, we had the usual (mortgage payment! ear infection! commute that sucks balls!), but we also had the very, very unusual (visits from friends I don't see nearly enough, work trips to New York, our three-year wedding anniversary that included a very expensive dinner out that we didn't have to pay a dime for, thank heavens, and also KYLE IS WALKING WHOO).

It was a good month. A very, very good month.

***

I am still trucking along with these fitness goals of mine, and they have become slow going, my friends. I'm stalled, basically, and totally annoyed with that especially since I know it's all because of me and my occasional indulgences and the aforementioned trip to the city with the best food (and easily the best cupcakes) in the country and also an anniversary dinner where my husband was very much in the "oh, just order another glass/plate/bowl of whatever you want" camp.

Obviously I chose that night to decide he was clearly the smartest man alive and I should listen to him wholeheartedly.

I've lost 25 pounds or so. I (still) have 23 pounds to go.

When I get out of the 150s, I'm buying myself something pretty.

But, I signed up for my first 10K (it'll be in September) and on this last business trip, I visited the fitness center twice. As in more than once. That was new for me.

I think what's most important to remember if you too want to change your life (in any way) is this: it's painful and slow and full of that frustrating dance combining progression with regression with standing still. You'll know better than to do a million things you'll do anyway because you're human. It's never about those moments where you screw up or choose poorly, but about the moments you right the wrongs.

There will always be wrongs, accept that now. But how do you right them?

***

This month I also got to meet some really incredible bloggers, including Jonna, who is so much more than a blog friend. I launched a style blog with her. I texted her when Kyle took his first steps. She offered me and Mike one of her guest rooms this fall, so we can make a trip we weren't sure we'd be able to financially swing before. She sent me the most beautiful birthday present and constantly tells me I'm smart and capable and, most importantly, I'm a good mother.

We got cupcakes in Cambridge (long story why I was there) this past week, and as we finished up and collected our things, she hugged me again and said, "you're here," and it was like being with an old friend, like reuniting with her after years apart.

I missed her the rest of the day, and I miss her still, and without blogging or the internet, I wouldn't know her at all.

To think I only used it for porn before.

(Kidding.)

I then sat (the very next night) with three more bloggers who had me laughing and nodding along with what they were saying and not once did I sit awkwardly thinking of how to fill the silence. (Not that I wasn't awkward both days, OH I WAS BUT THAT'S JUST ME.)

It was such a nice week for remembering why I do this, and it's not for free shit, I can tell you that much.

***

Finally, since I'm apparently in a very sappy mood indeed, May was really cool in that I've been making a real effort to be more kind to Mike, who is the one person on earth who most deserves my kindness. While I was in New York he (along with my mother-in-law and my mom) kept everything afloat without a single complaint. He knew I was worried about things both at home and with work, so he told me over and over not to worry, he had it covered, everything was great.

I came home to champagne chilling in the fridge, dinner in the oven, and smiles on both my boys faces.

I love those boys of mine so damn much. That's how I'd like to sum up May.

June is going to be even better, I know it.

 

Mike took this picture while I was away and sent it to me. You can imagine how much it made my day.

The last week in numbers

Number of (new!) cupcakes I had: 3 (including Magnolia, finally, and Butter Lane, which were easily the best cupcakes I've ever had)

Number of blisters I have on my feet from walking all over New York City and a large convention center: 3

Number of grainy cell phone pictures Mike sent me of Kyle: 3

Number of grainy cell phone pictures I wanted Mike to send me of Kyle: 9 kazillion

Number of times I said "I'm exhausted": at least 187

Number of fantastic bloggers I got to meet: 6 (Jonna, Metalia, Jen, Megan, Laurie, and Alexa)

Number of celebrities I spotted at BEA: 4(ish) (Dan Jansen, Clinton Kelly, Kristian Alfonso, and Rick Springfield) (I added the "ish" for Kristian Alfonso, since no one I've told in person knows who Hope from Days of Our Lives is.)

Number of glasses of champagne I sipped on: 4 or 5

Number of time I rolled my eyes in the middle of Times Square: 200, at least (seriously, I'm nowhere near a New Yorker, but look where you're walking people)

Number of times I thought, mentioned, or referenced Gossip Girl while in New York: embarrassingly, more than I can count on one hand

Number of new (and also delicious) restaurants I tried: 4

Number of times I exercised in the hotel fitness center: 2 (which I'm annoyingly bragging about, I know, but I DO NOT CARE)

Number of cab drivers who told me I am an "evil woman": just 1, both fortunately and UNfortunately

Number of boxes I lugged across an entire convention center: at least a dozen

Number of times I ran across an airport to make a flight: 1

Number of times I got hit by a bicycle: 1 

Number of times the hotel bed softened the ache of missing my family: fine, at least 3

Number of times I looked around at the bustling city around me and wondered, could I hack it here?: oh, lots

Number of times I thought, New York, I'm sure you're lovely, but give me my boys: oh, lots and then add a million

Number of times I've thought of that Butter Lane cupcake since eating it: um, sadly close to as many as the previous answer

Leaving, staying, always changing

Kyle has another ear infection. Before you each suggest tubes or, I don't know, putting him in a bubble, let me say this in all caps and with much authority: SHIT, DON'T I KNOW.

Mike's taking him for an allergy panel this week and he also has a scheduled appointment with both a pediatric dermatologist and an ear, nose, and throat doctor.

Seriously, our medical budget is about to be dirtily taken advantage of.

Oh, and hey! I'm leaving (insanely early) for a week-long business trip in New York tomorrow morning. I can't recall if I documented this or not, but I was in New York in November (for work) when Kyle came down with the flu of the swine variety. 

It's as if he knows I'm going on a solo flight and he wants to take away the restful sleep and the luxury of a Bloody Mary and just inject stage-five WORRY! into my veins.

Next installment in my Real Marriages series: Mike is a saint.

So, the stress. IT IS CURRENTLY A LITTLE BIT HIGH, OMG.

Don't get me wrong, I'm really excited about this trip, of course, as it's my favorite time of year in the publishing world (BEA) and I've also finally fallen in love with New York (this will be my sixth trip) and even if I didn't love the city, I do love new restaurants and new cupcakes and new blog meet-ups and more time with colleagues I like, but this is just the curse of being a mom: I can't turn off the stress of home while I'm away, even though I'm leaving home in very capable, strong hands.

While I'm gone, I'll wish to be home with my sick baby, and when I'm home, I often think of work and how I can market our books better and how I can answer emails more efficiently and there's always this stupid unattainable desire for balance.

The desire of doing it all: it's both this beautiful blessing and huge curse.

We never can do it all, and we know this, yet we never stop trying.

It's probably why I've been tired since 2008.

***

I may or may not write while I'm gone. I'm sure I'll tweet, though. Have a great last week of May, friends.

Pizza

Come on, who doesn't like this topic?

Over at Style Lush, we're asking (and answering) the question: what's the best pizza you ever ate? It's in honor of my new favorite Food Network show, The Best Thing I Ever Ate.

I now have entire cities I want to visit based solely on a pizza parlor. Like Auburn, Ala. and Richmond, Va. Mike will be thrilled, I'm sure.

Answer here or there, wherever, but do tell. Can one person really have too many pizza places to try in a lifetime? If you said yes, we may have our first issue in this friendship.

You didn't know we left, but now we're back

Mike and I zipped down to College Station Tuesday night (for the night) because when you have conflicting schedules and the best Nana on the planet, you squeeze in your Valentine's night away wherever you can even if "wherever you can" happens to be a Tuesday night that is not Valentine's Day at all. Why College Station, you ask? (After some of you ask "College Station is an actual place? I thought Julia Roberts was just making it up in My Best Friend's Wedding!") Well, the romantic version is this: it's where our Valentine's (pizza and beer) tradition started, six years ago. The realistic version is this: it's about all we could afford and it's on my 2010 to-do list.

We went to school in College Station, so it's not quite as if anyone has to twist our arms to return because we really, really loved it there and really, really love going back there and, most importantly, really, really miss the food there. Funny, we racked up a ridiculous bill at our romantic dinner this past Friday night and yet the pizza that brought us back to College Station (and the wings and the sandwiches and the potatoes and even the alcohol), all under $20 a pop, made our mouth water even more.

It was a pretty low-key day and night away, but if you are a parent, the very best hyphenated pairing someone can use to describe a day and night away is low-key, am I right? We ate lunch, we took a long nap, we saw a movie, we drove around, we had dinner, we shared a pitcher of beer and we watched TV until we both passed out (before midnight). It's a very small town, that college town of ours, and it's also a very conservative small town, where many buildings and street signs have the Bush name attached to them and where cowboy boots and hats and belt buckles are common and where the official school greeting is "howdy!" and where you wouldn't think I'd fit in at all if you know me well, but every time I drive out of that town, my throat closes a bit and my chest tightens and I look at Mike, misty-eyed, and say, "I don't want to leave." Isn't that just what home is? Not always a makes-perfect-sense fit, but where you belong all the same.

The other reason I love it there so much: the alcohol flows as cheaply as water (that pitcher of ours was $6!) and no one bats an eye if you're wearing a dirty old t-shirt to the dusty old bar.

*****

I'm back tomorrow with lots of links and updates (like what I'm giving up over the next month because I'm apparently a CRAZY PERSON) and maybe a picture of my kid, the one who acted like I was a complete stranger when I returned today. WHO ARE YOU, GIVE ME MY NANA BACK!?

Question game: Best stateside vacation destination

This is the third installment of The Question Game (part one, part two), and I think that officially makes it A Thing on this blog, which is fine by me. I'd be a professional question asker if I could be, no kidding. Anyway, this particular question is an extension from the Writer Round-up at Style Lush from last week, where I asked both writers and readers to share their favorite stateside vacation locations. There are so many fun, cool cities suggested over there, by the way, that it'd be a wonder if half our readers didn't book trips immediately after reading.

I suggested Austin because Texas was grossly unrepresented on the round-up, especially for being so damn big and for (usually) having such tolerable weather in the non-summer months, but it's also got great food and good people. Go there, if you ever get a chance. My gut reaction, though, was to say Lake Tahoe, and I only resisted because California was the opposite of Texas. It was so well-represented, I'm a little upset the California State Tourism Board didn't personally send me a thank-you note on letterpress stationary. I suppose I could have claimed Nevada for Tahoe, but I got married on the California side of the line, so I'm partial to Tahoe City. It's beautiful, no question about that, but it's also laid-back, inspiring and has incredible food and year-round fun activities. 

(Lots of pictures here, here, here and here.)

(Shit, I was skinnier back then.)

So, what would you say? Although feel free to answer with any city, it's safe to assume that all the big ones are givens. Who doesn't enjoy at least some part of NYC or Chicago or San Francisco?

I'm dying to know, even though we've now covered travel pretty thoroughly around these parts. (I promise to ask a different kind of question next time.)

The Blathering Part Dos

I may have mentioned The Blathering once or twice before. The Blathering being the awesome blogging meet-up event I went to this past fall in Sacramento. It was one of my 2009 highlights, and thankfully the ladies in charge are way more organized and talented than I am, since they already have a weekend and location carved out for The Blathering 2010 Edition. You should really hire these ladies if you're looking to get shit done. They get shit done and then they make a website and then they cook dinner. They're the kind of people I'd like to be when I grow up.

If you'd like to follow the happenings of this weekend, sign-up to attend yourself or just bookmark the site in case you're considering making the trip to CHICAGO! this fall, this is the website for you.

The Blathering's Official Website Because Maggie Kicks So Much Ass

There are like nine gazillion blog conferences around the country each year and they all appeal to the side of me that likes drink tickets and organized itineraries, but if you're looking for something a little different, a little more inclusive and laid back where you don't have to worry about drinking too much or what you're wearing, this is absolutely the trip for you. 

There may also be line dancing in a gay bar. You just never know.

Eleven months

Dear Kyle,

ELEVEN. MONTHS. That would be one month before twelve months and that's....well, that's nearly a year old, is what it is. I know I'm going to be a mess next month, so let me say this now: I remember so clearly, so vividly, where I was and how I felt when I wrote this letter to you two days before I said hello to you face-to-face. I remember the fear, more than anything else, because it dawned on me that day that I had no clue what I was doing. Before that I always had time in front of me to properly freak out and on that day, I didn't have much time. SO I FREAKED OUT. Depending on what day you ask your father, he may say I haven't really stopped freaking out since. I still have no clue what I'm doing.

I imagine I'm still guessing by the time you read this, too.

Yet, somehow, we're here. Eleven months later with you in one piece and me in one piece.

We're making it.

We had Christmas this month! And you were over the gifts about five minutes in, which is why we got you a total of three things, four if we're counting stocking stuffers, and I hope, hope, hope we continue to keep our Christmases light on GIFTS! and WRAPPING PAPER! and TOYS! and heavy on the three of us baking and looking at lights and playing and snuggling and being super lazy on the couch together. We tried to start a lot of traditions this year, because it was your first year and that's a big deal to me, but the most important tradition is the one where we have a nice day together, no drama, no guilt, no stress. Just us.

We also went to California this month, to visit some family and see the place I grew up, and about an hour into the trip, as we were stuck on the runway and you were screaming and the eyes of those around us glared down on me, I decided giving you these fun adventures was totally and completely overrated. NEVER TRAVELING AGAIN! I said to Mike, and I HATE TODAY! I said to anyone who would listen, but then we took you to a museum during our visit and to the zoo and to meet my favorite people, who you may not have met otherwise, and although I am very good at freaking the hell out and wringing my hands, I'm also very good at not letting those reactions stop me from doing things anyway. The flight back, I should say, was a freaking dream. The Universe is funny.

One other fun milestone was the welcoming of a new year and a new decade. 2010! What a fun ring that has? We decided to wake you up right before midnight, and I know a few mothers need to pick their mouths up off the floor, but your dad and I are weird, and we thought it'd be fun to have you with us as the clock struck midnight. You were in such a good mood and were all, "Hey, guys! What's up? Where's the party at?" And we kissed you and yelled "HAPPY NEW YEAR BUDS!" and you beamed and laughed and then went back to sleep ten minutes later. When I think of how lucky I am to have you, to know you, to be YOUR mom, I'll think of that night.

You get angrier and more woeful these days when things aren't handed right to you or when things are taken away from you and there's nothing cuter or funnier than a nearly one year old throwing a tantrum, so forgive us for all the times we've laughed directly at you when you are flailing about. You're just so cute when you're all red-faced and angry! That'll grow old, I KNOW, probably next week even, but you're a funny kid, no matter what mood you're in. I have Mom Eyes, no way around it. But, yeah, I'll be reminding you constantly of how losing that last Goldfish isn't exactly worth all those tears.

You also wave "BYE!" and lay your head down on any nearby surface when you're sleepy and throw your Cheerios or goldfish onto the floor, so you can see Molly race to retrieve them. You love the bath so much and literally try to climb into it if we don't put you in fast enough. You play better by yourself and love your soccer ball the most. Your hair is getting longer and crazier and you are still the dirtiest child I have ever met. I can't keep up with the dirt and caked-on food and snot and pieces of grass left in your hair. Oh, I love it about you though. My boy! My son!

Eleven months ago I was terrified about so many things, and I'm still terrified about a lot, that's just how life goes, always something to worry about. But being your mom doesn't scare me a bit anymore, and it hasn't since the moment I met you. I was always meant to know you. I was always meant to do this. I may not be an expert, I may not be traditional, I may not be perfect, but I love being your mother.

And I love you.

Your Mama

Mini-getaway

If you had to shelve your very ambitious, very international 2010 vacation because of car issues and debt issues and, well, just issues, but you still wanted to take a (much) smaller, closer-to-home getaway, where would you go? Perhaps a city I'd never think of, or an area that never occurred to me.

To help you out, we've already been (together) to: Colorado, Connecticut, NYC, many parts of Northern California including Tahoe where we tied the knot, Southern California, the Virgin Islands, all over Florida, parts of Arkansas, Portland, St. Louis and Toronto. (Oh, and all around Texas.) Although we haven't traveled far and wide, we've certainly traveled, obviously.

Share your knowledge, globetrotters. I'd love to have you help us plan our 2010 (mini) vacation!

*************

Also, happy, happy birthday to my best friend, Natalie. 28 looks good on you!

Quick trip to Cali

It was nice taking Kyle to the place I lived when I was his age. In fact, here's the house I lived in when I was his age:

 

(Here's a picture, even, from way back when.)

We also took Ky to the zoo, the California Academy of Sciences and In N Out Burger. You know, all the hot spots.

He also got to meet an old, dear friend of mine (from this post):

We also ditched the boy with my step-mom on Friday night and drove into the city for dinner with some awesome bloggers and their families. Mike, who hadn't met a one, said to me on the way home, "Sucks we don't live closer to any of them." Yep, babe, it really, really does. (So, ladies, who's moving to Texas? OR, who's paying for me to live in SF?)

 

(Dinner was at the awesome Little Star Pizza and dessert was at Candy Bar. Great choices!)

We also wine tasted with my uncle, who I don't get to see often enough, while my dad watched Kyle for a little bit. The weather was crappy, the company great.

Rained and rained and rained and then stopped raining briefly and then rained and rained and rained. Also, it was cold, too.

I won't get into too much detail about our flight to San Francisco, because I should be instead putting my thoughts into a letter to Fox Rental Car for their customer service shortcomings. Things worked out, though, that's just what things have a way of doing, and I really want 2010 to be the year I remember this IN THE MOMENT and not an hour after THE MOMENT. I freaked out at 1 am in the rental car center, with a sleepy, cranky baby and a sleepy, cranky husband because the rental car agent told me I couldn't have the car I reserved, and I wish I could keep it together better in moments like this instead of screaming profanities (no matter how deserved those profanities were). Yes, he was a royal ass, but isn't it always better to be lovely to an asshole? Doesn't that irk them even more? I think it does. I need to keep this in mind more often in the future. Add it to the new year's goal list!

The flight back was much nicer because of a very compassionate and lovely AA agent named Dwight Foreman. He cleared a row for us, so we took Kyle's car seat onto the plane and he slept the whole time. I read Vanity Fair and then slept myself! That's a nice flight with a baby, let me tell you.

Anyway, we had a great trip. I miss it already, I always do, and I look forward to going back in a year and a half to see my brother graduate high school.

 

Now, I have to tackle a million and one things around here before Christmas next week (!!). So, here's one last one before I go, one of us, my family, in one of my favorite places on earth.

 

Mike's already planning how to make our roof look like this one. He's so geeky and green.

So, we're back and it's just as cold in Texas as it was in Northern California, and I've really had enough of that. I like a chill in the air, yes, but I also like feeling my feet at least once a day.

(Lots more pictures of our trip here.)

Good stuff

One of my comments on yesterday's post was from Leigh, who offered up her house in Albuquerque to Mike and me after I lamented about having to shelve our summer vacation. She said, "I'll offer you a free house in ABQ for a week or so! Yes, it's hot in the summer. But great hiking and biking, and beer."  I sent her an email that basically said, "You're sweet, but you'll be sorry when we show up on your doorstep!" She wrote back with more encouragement about coming and even tried to tempt me with a nearby Trader Joe's. The point here isn't that we will or would ever take advantage of such kindness but that such kindness exists, is on this site, even. I told Mike about Leigh's sweet, sweet, sweet offer and he said, "You have the nicest readers on the planet." It's true. I don't get mean, trollish comments. I don't get sanctimonious preaching. I don't get anything above gentle disagreement, and even when that happens it's civil and mature and it makes me think. Those are the best kinds of conflicts.

I've felt something sort of brewing around the Internet as of late, and it moved me to mention (clarify?) something here, on my site: I don't get paid to blog. I don't get paid by any site that I write for (except, ironically, for a fun guest post I wrote yesterday for Work It! Mom, but it wasn't a review, just me offering up my own expertise (ha!) and, also, the BlogHer ads on this site, which bring in enough money each month to cover my water bill). I don't get sent free things to review, even review honestly, so everything I talk about or promote or link to here and on Twitter is because I 1) like it a lot and 2) think you might, too.

I love writing and blogging, and I love being a part of this community. I get to meet such incredible, inspiring people. I get to talk about things that interest me. I get to build a supportive circle of friends for myself. I get to learn things about being a mother, a writer and a woman from others who have done all those things before me (and done them so kick-ass, I'm constantly awed). It's not that any of that is lost if money and compensation get involved (online writers should be paid and paid well), it's simply important to me to build a foundation of how I conduct myself online, so that the people I trust most (you) know I won't ever do a thing to compromise your respect.

Nothing specific happened to spur me to proclaim all this, it's just that if you read here or at MamaPop or BIM or Style Lush (or follow any of those respective Twitter pages), please know anything I write is because I'm passionate about it, and although I wouldn't turn down a paycheck to write about what I love -- you wouldn't either, I suspect -- it's nice to do the writing first, so if the money ever comes, the love for it is already established.

So, with that, some links because I like this stuff and maybe you will too:

*One of the best things I've read this week or ever, maybe, from Jess: "[O]ur reactions to other people are usually reflections of ourselves." I've been struggling a little bit all year with things people have said about my marriage and parenting and while also struggling with my own insecurities as a wife and mother. I logically know that when someone takes something I've done out of love and twists it to resemble something else entirely, it's not really about me, but it still flattens me emotionally and makes me feel like I'm doing this all wrong, no matter how excited Kyle gets to see me or how high he reaches up for me from his crib. I need to remember that most times judgment is more about that person and less about me.

*Jonna's post on Tiger Woods. If this whole media cover-up/uncovering/he slept with HOW many women now? fiasco was a nail, she just took a sledgehammer and hit it on the head.

*The "I Heart Monday" feature on Bliss. I usually want everything listed. She finds the best stuff.

*A Style Lush giveaway for the ladies (or men) who like flowery headbands. I wish I could win. 

Oh, and a picture of Kyle watching TV, so you can judge me and I can practice not caring:

Striped pj tops and printed pj pants: 2010's lead trend!

We head out tonight for a few days in California. I'm less prepared for this trip than our last family vacation, so wish us luck getting there safely and soundly and with our sanity in tact. (It's always nice to go home to San Francisco, and it's even nicer to introduce my son to the place I lived when I was his age.)