Our next-door neighbors moved out today. A lovely middle-aged couple who would always wave and hold our packages when we were out of town. Also, the wife acted genuinely interested when I forced her to look at our wedding album. We'll miss them.
This morning, as I was leaving for work, the husband stopped me in our joined driveway to say goodbye and to see if we wanted a few things that weren't going to fit in their U-Haul, a porch swing and an old fireplace set. I said yes to both because Mike and I were very poor once and during that time we learned that the answer to anything free is yes. Can I treat you to dinner? Yes! Would you like this old dresser? Absolutely! What about this stuffed owl that may or may not be covered in asbestos from our attic? Sure! We'll hawk that on eBay!
They also mentioned, as they were wishing Mike and me luck in the future, that we were the quietest neighbors they had ever been so fortunate to live next to. I thanked them politely and swallowed the urge to LAUGH DIRECTLY IN THEIR FACES. As I waved goodbye and drove off to work, I thought about what had happened just the night before and wondered how Mike and I got so sneaky, fooling everyone into thinking we're normal and quiet and responsible when really our life centers on who can yell loudly enough to make the dog pace.
Scenes from a duplex, circa last night:
Mike: BABY!
Jennie: YEAH?
Mike: COME IN HERE PLEASE!
Jennie: ARE YOU GOING TO YELL AT ME ABOUT MY SHOE PURCHASES?
Mike: YES.
Jennie: I THINK I'LL STAY IN HERE THEN. THANKS THOUGH.
Mike: JUST TO LET YOU KNOW, $47 IS NOT "A FEW DOLLARS."
Jennie: NOTED!