1. I don't stare at Mike's lips nearly enough as I've never been able to use the phrase, "I've been staring at your lips all night." And that's really a shame, isn't it?
2. Being able to hold one's alcohol is considered an actual positive quality—similar to "good listener" or "calm demeanor."
3. If I'm fresh out of ponytail holders or clips, I should just stop in my local garden center and pick out a blooming flower to tie to my head.
4. Two things one should strongly avoid saying on The Bachelor or, better yet, in life are 1) "I wrote a song for you, and now I'm going to sing it" and 2) "My cat is the love of my life. I miss her purring body."
5. The women are far more mature than I would have guessed them to be as they all resisted the urge to drop kick Ashlee after her "I got a rose" dance.
6. Some girls—angry about having to share Matt with other people—were apparently never told the premise of the show.
7. If can-ripping doesn't hook him, opera singing will. Oh wait. NO, IT WON'T.
8. Having five credits on imdb.com with one role being the Red Bikini Girl in "Endless Bummer" doesn't exactly make you an actress.