I think May is the month I'd most like to never talk to again. I'd like to put May behind me and ignore all of its future calls and emails. I'm so going to talk badly about May behind its back.
Why, you ask?
BECAUSE MAY IS A BITCH.
That's why.
First, Kyle has entered into a really difficult period over the last few days where he can no longer put himself to sleep. He screams and cries the moment I put him in his crib, and nothing I can pinpoint happened to bring on this monster-ish reaction of his. He can be up and smiley and chatty -- the moods usually best suited for bedtime -- but the moment I lean him over those rails he FLIPS out. What's even better, picking him up after the initial flip-out DOES NOTHING. How, how can it do nothing? How can that not instantly comfort him? WHY DON'T YOU ASK HIM, BECAUSE I SURE AS HELL DON'T KNOW. The only thing that seems to calm him down after he begins to have a pre-bed meltdown is a bottle. EVEN IF HE JUST ATE. (Note: This post is shaping up to have quite a few words in all caps. OH WELL.) I know that I shouldn't give him a bottle and let him doze off while eating, but when a girl is at the end of her rope, a girl will sometimes throw rational thought out the window and just do whatever the hell it takes. (And then the bad habits form. Score!) The last few days/nights have been really hard because of this new development, and I don't know what to do. Can you tell me what to do? I'll even allow the prickly kind of advice -- you know, the kind that drips in judgment and superiority -- because I miss our easy bedtimes THAT much.
(Oh, for those who are dying to tell me to let him cry it out, know this: that doesn't seem to work for him. Like at all.)
Next, Mike missed out on a promotion he deserved. I don't want to say too much more because I don't know if Mike's co-workers or higher-ups would really appreciate all the questionable language I would end up using, but he was rightfully bummed, and so was I. And he deserved it and worked for it and DESERVED IT OVER WHO GOT IT. Did I mention he deserved it? HE DID.
Finally, and most disappointingly, it looks like we're going to lose our dream house because of something that has nothing to do with us whatsoever. Because someone didn't do their job, we're going to suffer, and I'm disappointed in this person specifically (that they can just go screwing with other people's dreams in this way) and in the general situation. I'm disappointed because we tend to believe that things work out the way they were meant to, that things are ultimately going to be OK and that with every sour circumstance comes a silver lining. I AM A VERY GOOD SILVER LINING SEEKER, YOU SHOULD KNOW. But, here, I don't see the silver lining. I am down today. I'm at a loss. We thought this place was a dream come true, and, unfortunately, it's turned into someone waving the dream in our face before THROWING THE DREAM INTO THE RIVER.
I will find the silver lining tomorrow. I know we'll eventually be OK. I also believe fiercely in a saying Holly first introduced to me (well, as her reader; I unfortunately don't know her personally), and it goes: "Nothing very, very good or very, very bad lasts very, very long." So, yes, I know that this will pass, that we'll eventually see the brighter side. I know we still have each other, we still have this beautiful, amazing little man and a roof over our heads (BLAH, BLAH, BLAH), but tonight, I'm down. I'm blue. I'M OVER MAY.
So, cheer me up, would you? And not by telling me something lovely that's happening in your life. No, I'm in no mood to be happy for you. (Sorry.) Instead, tell me something horrifically embarrassing or just funny or a messy, awful situation that you're now out of and can look back on with a sense of humor. Or just come join me in my misery and tell me why you want to kick May's ass, as well.
We'll go back to baby pictures and fun tomorrow. Today, pick me up by commiserating with me.
*I'm stealing Jonna's brilliance here and using a song title as my post title. Ryan Adams, for anyone who cares.