The other night, I made crab cakes (2010 list item, holla!) and cleaned the house, so when Mike offered up the idea of watching a movie, I offered up the idea of watching Twilight.
And because it was not that simple -- you should know nothing in our marriage is ever that simple (me proposing an activity Mike absolutely does not want to do and him simply saying, "sure!") -- I pulled out the one weapon that usually gets me whatever I want (no, not that, my mother reads this site). I offered to give him a back rub while we watched.
He begrudgingly said okay.
(My husband is the only man alive who would begrudgingly accept a back rub.)
At some point early in the movie:
Mike: When do they start biting people?
Jennie: Uh, later. He has to start sparkling first.
Mike: Sparkling? He sparkles? Real vampires don't sparkle.
Jennie: I think there are a few million tweens who would disagree with you.
Mike: They need to watch Blade.
Jennie: I actually don't think they need to watch Blade, baby.
Toward the end of the movie (that I have already seen three or four times), I remembered I had forgotten to write a post for The Stir and needed to knock that out, so I abandoned Twilight for my laptop, assuming Mike would turn to Deadliest Catch (the new season is way dramatic, he tells me) or Mythbusters*, but, well, uh, how do I say this while protecting my husband's reputation:
The movie stayed on. We both stayed in the room. I was no longer watching, so....
I guess we could just leave it at that. I mean he was already comfortable, the remote was clear across the room, the movie was almost over anyway.
But then.
After Mike got home the other night from hockey practice, we watched The United States of Tara, and after that was over, he said:
"So, uh, I downloaded New Moon for you."
You....did....what....exactly?
You probably don't need me to specify that I actually hadn't asked him to download New Moon for me or that I hadn't even told him there was a sequel or what that sequel was titled.
Half-way through New Moon:
Mike: Real vampires are not this romantic. Now, in Blade...
Jennie: Please don't act like you're not enjoying this.
Mike: I'm not!
Jennie: You love it. You're totally a Twihard.
Mike: I don't know what that means, but I promise I'm not.
Jennie: Are you Team Edward or Team Jacob?
Mike: Babe.
Jennie: I'm Team Edward, but just slightly.
Mike: Jacob's a douche.
Jennie: So....Team Edward?
Mike: Please don't blog about this.
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*Get this! Mike submitted a "myth" on the Mythbusters message board recently and they picked it! They tested the myth on a recent show. He's such a nerdy Twihard!