She Likes Purple

We're really good at reading menus, though.

While talking on the phone with my sister, her stove started beeping.

Rachel: Hey, Noah, go tell Dad the stove is beeping. (To me) Something's up with the stove, it's beeping.

Jennie: Uh. Is it dinner?

Rachel: Yeah, something like that.

Jennie: That may mean it's done.

Rachel: Maybe.

Jennie: You could look and see.

Rachel: Yeah, but I didn't put it in, so...

Jennie: Rachel, you can't think that's how dinner works? Whoever puts it in the oven has to take it out?

Rachel: Oh, I don't know.

Jennie: Rachel! Take it out of the oven!

Rachel: God, fine. But, I think the person who starts dinner really should finish it.

This story combined with that time I forgot to boil the noodles when I attempted to make Mike baked ziti when we first started dating, and you might not be too shocked to know we didn't cook much as kids.

We're covering a lot of ground in this post including books, music, blogging, and toddlers

First, a big thank you for all your kind words and emails yesterday. It seemed a little weird writing about at first, but you're never anything but supportive. It always means so much. Seriously, thanks.

***

If you've been following my sidebar list (because my to-do list should totally be a priority for you), you know I try to discover a new band or artist once a month. If you don't follow the list, well now you also know.

Anyway, no lie, all the musicians I've listed have come from one of two places: 1) Pandora or 2) CW shows, most likely One Tree Hill.

But have you discovered any great new music you'd like to tell me about? 

***

Kyle's transitioning from the pre-toddler to toddler room at school and he's ... uh ... not handling it so well. He loves his current class and his teacher so much that I drop him off happy as can be, playing with his friends and waving goodbye, and I pick him up in the other room where he's hanging onto the window that separates the rooms SOBBING and POINTING, like get me the fuck where I belong people.

The teachers are all very reassuring that this is totally normal and he'll be fine in a couple weeks but. AH. MY HEART. IT HURTS.

I hate seeing him upset and, yeah, I hate paying for him to be so upset, especially when he was really thriving in his room. I understand he can't stay in the pre-toddler room forever, he's one of the oldest as it is, but maybe they could just move the teacher with him? Keep him in the same room and move all the other toddlers to him? That's not crazy or demanding or weird to request, right?

But, tell me, did your kids have a hard time transitioning rooms at their day care/pre-school?

***

I'm going to BlogHer next week. WILL I EVER STOP TRAVELING AND LEAVING MY CHILD WITH OTHER PEOPLE WHO LOVE HIM? It's also become so much harder to leave him now that he's older and fun and able to give me kisses and hugs goodbye. And punish me upon my return. Oh, hey, I'll just be over here preferring my dad to you, MOTHER.

Anyway, if you're going to be at BlogHer, please say hello. Here's a picture of me, so you know who to approach and hand a glass of champagne to.

I hope to meet you, all of you, and I also hope you'll swing by the small happy hour the Style Lush editors and writers are hosting.

We'll be in the Lobby Lounge of the Hilton Hotel at 5 p.m. on Saturday, August 7th. 

(Feel free to also email me for my cell number, in case you'd like to meet up at any other point over the weekend.)

***

Randomly, any good books you've been reading? I'm on a reading kick. I haven't said that in three years.

Moving on

I was let go from The Stir yesterday. I'm fine, really. It's a good decision all around, and I'm excited to seek out better writing opportunities. I also needed a little breathing room for things like sleep and time with my husband. My writing wasn't a good fit, and I could feel that.

But, I'd be lying out my ass if I said it didn't sting.

I sometimes think I could make a decent amount of money writing. I think I'm good at it. I feel I've found my voice, and it's okay I spent years of my life never really fitting in anywhere, no matter how many things I joined or managed or organized, because I found writing. Then I get a note from BlogHer that this post I wrote about my dad -- the post I'm most proud of from three years of writing -- wasn't selected for the BlogHer keynote and then a week later I'm let go from a writing gig.

That'll make a secure writer a little shaky.

Hey, I know if anything's worth doing, you have to develop a tougher skin while doing it and all the above is more about bad timing and different writing styles and traffic stats than it is about how much my writing sucks, but I still allowed myself a little time and champagne to wallow in last night. 

Everyone needs a little time and champagne to wallow in from time to time.

Good things will come, I have faith in that, and I'm not even panicking over our (even tighter) budget because we'll be fine. I believe that. So, we don't buy the organic milk for a couple months and we make that No Eating Out in August experiment more a Written in Stone Rule for a while.

We scale back, we remember what's important, and we move forward.

***

If you have been following my weight-loss calendar posts at The Stir, I'll no longer be writing them, but I will be back at Bodies in Motivation writing there with a little more freedom, which will be refreshing. Thanks to Linda for welcoming me back.

***

I am officially back from San Diego, and if you care to look at any pictures from my trip out west for Comic-Con, they're up at Flickr.

Baby boy gone

We finally cut his hair.

From this:

To this:

(And then he promptly fell on his face in the front yard. Notice the forehead bruise on the right side of his head?)

(But he's pouting in this picture because I wouldn't give him more dessert, not because he fell.)

(What kind of mother won't give her son more dessert after he falls on his face?)

Anyway, I don't know why cutting his hair was such a ridiculously big deal to me. It's so cliche! And, trust me, I used to mock plenty of people who'd write posts about being unable to cut their precious baby boy's hair. Ridiculous, I'd think. It's hair and they look homeless. Just cut it.

But I didn't want to cut Kyle's. I thought he looked just fine with shaggy hair that would hang below his shoulders when wet. Homeless worked on him, I thought. Even if he was called a girl by more people than I can count on one hand.

You hold on to what you can, I guess, and I was holding on to that hair. 

Mike found a piece of food in it the other day from a meal he had eaten the day before.

There was day-old food stuck in my son's hair and no one had noticed.

(We don't give him a bath every night because we might be sentimental as hell, but we're also cursed with a lazy streak.)

"I think it's really time to cut it, babe." Mike said this quietly to me because we've been together a while now and he knows that his wife is crazy and you have to be careful with crazy people sometimes.

(That's my wise life lesson of the day. You're welcome.)

I sighed, really loudly, and he braced himself.

"Okay. Fine."

He looked surprised. Hell, I was surprised myself.

You can't argue with half-eaten bagel, I suppose.

So, we finally cut his hair. No promises we won't wait another year and a half to do it again.

Briefly standing still

This month has been (and will continue to be until it's over) plain insane. I cram a lot into my days, my life, and that's kind of how I prefer it, but this month went from kinda busy to HOLY SHIT WHAT JUST HAPPENED pretty quickly. If I let it, this month will fly be without me even noticing, without me even taking one second to slow down and enjoy some truly enjoyable things.

Like....

The sunset in Portland.

Kyle and I having a dance party in our living room this past weekend.

Closing my laptop to finish a book.

Mike and I squeezing in a date night to see Eclipse this weekend and having an hour to kill before the movie started, so we people watched the time away. (While Mike drank the biggest blue raspberry slushie I've ever seen.)

Enjoying a nice German dinner with my mom.

Meeting bloggers in person and no longer worrying about those meet-ups beforehand.

Bloody Marys with one of my best friends. 

Crawling into Cherie's guest bed at 10 pm, which is the earliest I've gone to bed all year, I'd bet.

Leaving the house to run some errands this past weekend and then having to turn around and go back because we forgot something. When we pulled into the drive no more than five minutes after first leaving, Kyle got SO FREAKING EXCITED to be home, screeching and laughing, like MAN, I LOVE THIS PLACE. Eh, he's a toddler, who knows what he was really thinking, but that's all I've ever wanted for him, to associate his home with happiness.  

The incredibly kind ticket agent with Southwest Airlines. Good customer service is rare. I won't forget him anytime soon.

Snickers 90-calorie ice-cream bars. Delicious.

Top Chef nights with Mike.

Sitting outside The Four Graces winery, talking to Cherie about work and life and getting tan. 

Mike letting me sleep in till 11 am this past Saturday. That man deserves things I can't talk about on this blog.

Our new baby nephew, who was born last week. We have so many boys in our family, it's unreal, but they're each such a perfect fit.

Life is spinning fast right now. But not too fast that I can't hold still when I need to.

***

I leave for San Diego Wednesday, and I look forward to standing still a little bit while I'm gone. If you're in the area, come visit my company at a meet-and-greet party this Saturday night at the House of Blues in downtown San Diego. (Click on the link for more details.)

August experiment?

Mike and I have been budgeting for a couple months now, and I'm pretty proud of us. The budget categories that give us the most problems are fairly consistent: groceries, eating out, medical. I give us a slight pass on medical because while it's been consistently higher than we thought it would be, the amount is inconsistent. Sometimes it's $5 over, sometimes it's $100.

(I would like to point out it's never because of me. My immune system would like a thank-you note from the other members of this family.)

There are also annoying financial things you can't predict for like the car tires that needed to be replaced, the car seat that needed to be purchased, the property taxes I DO NOT WANT TO TALK ABOUT, and the random days Kyle had to go to day care that we didn't plan for.

But, we're getting better with grocery shopping, and I think with a little more experience in the kitchen, I'll be able to shave off more and more money from those bills. I'm trying to utilize ingredients we already have and replace this cheese with that cheese that's already in the fridge and things like that. Simple for the seasoned cook, but I'm not seasoned. I'm trying, and I think I'm (and we're) doing pretty good.

But.

There's one area we struggle with and that's eating out. Chalk it up to being a rather social couple or that date nights are important to us, but we eat out too often. Not nearly as much as we used to, but too much. See, I'd rather go to a nice dinner than buy shoes. That's a new development, but does it really matter what you're unnecessarily spending money on as long as you're unnecessarily spending it?

We can do better.

When I was eating far too much fast food last year, I went without it for 30 days and while I still have it from time to time, I sort of credit that as the beginning of the end of my regular consumption of total and utter crap.

So, I suggested to Mike the other day that we not eat out the month of August. He said sure. Obviously this won't work in New York City for BlogHer and there may be a work dinner squeezed in for my five-year anniversary with my company, but for the time we're home, we won't spend our own money to dine out.

Mainly, I just want to see how much we can save, how hard the challenge really is for us, how creative we can be with dates and time with friends when not dining in restaurants, and if this makes me a slightly better planner (I don't plan lunch often enough and neither does Mike).

I went meatless for a month, I gave up alcohol for Lent, I ran 25 miles and worked out (almost!) every day of June. I can do this, I know I can, and I also know it'll be good for our family and our budget.

Money is tough for us and while we are paying all our bills and doing pretty okay and making vacations work (although Portland only happened because of a free flight and stay, which is how all vacations should work, don't you think?), I know that managing our finances is slowly becoming more and more in our control. It hasn't always been. We've been in the financial passenger seat for years, I'd say, and it has sucked quite a lot. 

I don't want it to suck anymore, so we're taking control.

So, wish us luck in August. We'll see how it goes.

To carry me through

I was without Kyle in Portland, so I tried to step up and help with Cherie's twins. I even picked them both up at one point because they wanted me to, and I'll be damned if I won't prove how good I can multi-task if you challenge me.

Post-nap, pre-diaper change one day, I had Dane on the changing table and Cherie said, "Have you always been maternal? Or did it come with Kyle?"

"Uh ... I dunno."

"You're good with the boys. Really good."

"I was a preschool teacher and a nanny but you feel you gain some credibility when you have your own, I guess?"

"I'm surprised, a little."

"What?"

"That you're so good at it. You're tough, you're on top of it, you're good."

"Mike thought I'd be a doormat too, that I'd let Kyle get away with everything and be soft and ... "

"You're not. I'm really impressed."

"Thank you, Cherie."

Later that trip she told me she doesn't like to give away compliments easily, which makes sense since some of the best things I've ever heard have come from her.

She's like Mike in that way. They don't compliment often or easily so when they do, you feel it. It stays with you. You carry it to get you through the internet trolls and the bad work reviews and the mean customer service reps.

Some people's words carry you through.

Some people like her.

I'm home

This is the face of a girl who hadn't fully wrapped her head around the state of her inbox(es).

I'm back in Texas and back with my boys (only one chose unloading the dishwasher over hugging me hello when I walked through the door tonight, and I think we all know my husband doesn't do the dishes).

I had an incredible weekend away.

Back to reality.

More about Cherie (and what she can do for you)

My trip to Portland (I leave tomorrow) hasn't been all carbs and champagne. Cherie is one of the most ambitious people I know, so while I've been here, we've spent a nice chunk of time hanging out in her office, plotting how to take over the world.

Or, more specifically, we've been chatting about her start-up web design and marketing company, C*Squared Associates.

I know Cherie's talented, but I had no idea how far she had come in the last couple years. She whipped up a new banner for my site in no time, and she helped me with a couple other projects I had on my plate. 

Because I not only adore Cherie, I also truly and wholeheartedly believe in her, I'd love for you to check out her site and her work, and if you need a blog banner, a sidebar graphic, a Twitter background, or a complete site redesign, even, please hire her.

And if you're in the Portland area, call her. There's no better person to talk creativity and life with over a glass of something bubbly.

(I'm back home tomorrow, and that's probably best since my waistline can't take one more day of eating Portland's fine foods and my heart can't take one more day being away from my boys.)

Blog crushes

I also got to meet Manda of Mandajuice fame while in Portland this weekend. She was a refreshing reminder that sometimes someone can be as awesome offline as they are online.

As were Kerri, Blythe (who has found The Fountain of Youth, good god), and Rhiannon. The conversation was just so easy among us. Man, I love when the conversation is easy.

Portland sunset

Sometimes you don't know your soul needs a little healing until it's healed.

My husband is a sneaky man

I worked late tonight and had to stop for a couple groceries on the way home, and when I finally barged through the door, tired and stressed, Kyle greeted me. Oh, that's a nice way to melt the stress, let me tell you.

I lifted him up and carried him to the kitchen, and he gave me loads of kisses. I unloaded the groceries while holding him because moms can multi-task like you wouldn't believe. Then, I decided to put the empty paper bag on his head (I'm weird, what of it?), when Mike walked in the kitchen, smirking.

"I have a surprise."

"Yeah, what?"

I was still playing with Kyle, a paper bag on his head, a red pepper in my hand that I hadn't put up yet, when Mike showed me an airline ticket.

"What the fuck is that?"

(I have GOT to work on my child-friendly vocabulary.)

"You're going to see Cherie."

AN AIRLINE TICKET. TO SEE MY FRIEND CHERIE IN PORTLAND, AND MY KEYBOARD IS NOT BROKEN, I'M JUST THIS EXCITED.

Cherie and I went to college together and then she fell in love and moved away and just search her name on this site, I've written at length about her. She's post worthy, most definitely.

Oh, I just can't wait to see her.

And loads of other bloggers who are in Portland. When I texted Cherie to see if she'd be down for a blogger dinner, my phone auto-corrected it to "loggers." When I corrected it, she wrote back and said, "damn, I was excited about the ax-man dinner."

She's awesome.

But you know who else is awesome? That sneaky husband of mine.

Search his name and see how much I like him. He's likable, he's way more than likable but no one wants to hear all that mush.

Let's just say I'm so happy right now, and it's all because of him. Baby, it's so often all because of you.

We don't worry

Our long weekend was really nice, although Kyle may have acted possessed a handful of times.

(Aside: I'm starting to figure out that managing Kyle's tantrums has much more to do with my response to them than anything else. If I can muster patience and a little sense of calm, he is so much easier to handle. But, yeah, I'm not always patient or calm. Sometimes I spit fire. No one hates that more than me.)

Anyway, he handled the fireworks like a champ, and he enjoyed the hell out of a grape popsicle at our town's Fourth of July celebration, so I labeled the day a success.

He's all, why the hell do they shoot these things off past my bedtime? I need a snuggle and my blanket.

***

Something I noticed this past weekend while around lots of other kids is that Kyle really isn't talking much. He has some words, sure, and he understands just about everything that's said to him. (Mike told him to come give me a kiss after a recent time-out, and he walked into the kitchen, asked to be picked up, and kissed me. FORGIVEN!)

But, he doesn't say "no" or "dog" or "car" or lots of other words kids his age say.

I think this is a case of him being just a little behind, like he was with walking. He identifies about 50 different things in his "I Spy" books by pointing, so the wheels are turning. And he says the most random things: like "outside" and "flower" and "boom" (when he falls down) and "thank you." But, not "no." Or even "mama" that regularly.

Yeah, he's quirky.

The thing is, I'm not worried.

Months ago I was asking his pediatrician about something -- probably his chronic ear infections -- and I said, "Are you worried?" And she looked me straight in the eyes and said, "We don't worry. We solve problems."

She gave me such a gift with that one conversation.

I've spent so much of my life worrying about more things than I could list, and although I'm not a fool to think I won't worry like it's my job over things to come, I don't do Kyle (or myself) any good by worrying.

I shortchange him genuine quality time with his mother. I give him memories of my brow furrowed. I convey to him that there's something wrong with his life because I'm trying to change it when, other than normal bumps along the way, our path is pretty golden.

Whenever Mike or I ask him for a kiss, he happily obliges, but he always insists on kissing the other afterward. I like to think he already knows we're okay apart, but we're so much better together.

We're a team, the three of us.

I'm not worried. Oh, we're so good.

June recap: The month of a million firsts and a million degrees

(Hey, if you want, you can check out my recaps for January, February, March, April, and May. Not sure why you'd want to, but there are the links for easy clicking.)

***

Other than the temperature outside (balls hot), June's been pretty nice to us. Man, I hope this isn't an ebbs and flows kind of thing because I'd like July to be nice, too. And every month after that. AM NOT GREEDY, SHUSH.

Anyway, let's get to recapping, yo!

First, my ass. Why not start there? It's shrunk! A little! If you're following along with my weight-loss calendar at The Stir, you know I've officially lost 28 pounds since January 1st and have about 20 left to lose. I've given myself a goal end date of January 1, 2011. Six more months to go!

I also ran 25 miles this month, and that proves I can technically run a marathon. As long as the volunteers don't mind moving to the event site for a month.

I've said this before, I'm sure, but man I enjoy running. More than I ever thought I would or could, and it's officially become my go-to exercise of choice.

I still want to do more, though, and I wrote this post of 5 activities I'd (eventually) like to try/sign-up for. I'm not kidding about ballet, either.

***

This month we also did a few things for the first time. We went to the Dallas Farmers Market, which we were blown away by. We also took Kyle to Sea World, which was magical. (It also made me excited to take him to Disney World one day.) And Mike and I took a sushi cooking class, which was something I've always wanted to do. (Sushi pictures!)

When Mike and I first started dating, we used to excitedly announce when something was the first thing. The first time we walked to class together, first movie date, first road trip, our first fight, even. Eventually all those firsts faded because after 6 years together, it can feel like you've done all there is to do.

It's nice to remind ourselves that there's still a world of firsts for us to experience together.

***

Oh, and Mike got in a motorcycle accident. That part of the month sucked ass, but he's okay! He's in one piece! We're practicing gratitude instead of panicky, motorcycles-are-death-mobiles sentiments.

(I don't think that, by the way, no matter how shaken his accident might have made me.)

***

I'm also enjoying my Real Marriages series, especially since I've had some amazing guest posts (and more to come) and spotlighted some stunning posts elsewhere. In the coming weeks, we're going to tackle how couples fight, in-law fun, and who handles the finances and why.

If you want to see a topic covered, comment or email. I'd love to hear what you'd love to hear.

***

I also have loads to say about some other topics: updates on our budget, updates on meal planning and grocery shopping, some thoughts on friendship, too. If you care about those things, I'll be writing on them soon.

***

Then there's Kyle.

He's both the most stunning, inspiring, hilarious human being I've ever known and the reason I have sprouted gray hair recently.

He is either driving me mad or making me look up how much a pony would cost because HE SO DESERVES A PONY.

He's saying some words (flower, outside, duck, water, thank you), but he's not saying enough to alleviate how frustrated he gets when he wants me to understand something he's trying to express, and since I don't speak whacked-out toddler, I look at him with a confused expression a lot. I imagine your own mother not understanding what you need and want would drive you to shriek at the top of your lungs. Scratch that, I don't imagine, I know because THAT'S WHAT HE DOES. THAT IS A FACT.

The timeouts, they have begun.

But he hugs and kisses when you request one of either. He knows how to "be gentle" and he's working on that with Molly. He holds my hand when I request him to, as we walk to the mail box each evening. He waves "hello!" to everyone he sees, and he just learned the itsy-bitsy spider in class the other day, which is really just him smashing his fingers together.

He rarely sits still, but he can spend a half hour just looking at one book, over and over. He knows where the birds and horses and cows are in his favorite book. He is nearly obsessed with ladybugs. He thinks playing tug of war is hilarious, HE CANNOT STOP LAUGHING.

He is starting to prefer me to almost anyone, except both his grandmas. He nearly pushes me out the door when either of them are around. PEACE MOM, WE'RE GOOD, BYE NOW.

He loves motorcycles (hold me) and he does vroom noises when he sees them.

Being his mother kicks ass. Sometimes it kicks my own ass, but mostly it's just this awesome, fun ride I get to be on every single day.

***

Lord, this is long.

***

July is going to be crazy. We have family in town for July 4th, and we'll see how Kyle does at his first fireworks display. We have a few fun date nights planned. I have a work trip to San Diego. And I am determined to lose a few more pounds, learn how to poach an egg, and read a couple books.

What do you have planned for July? And how was your June. (I genuinely like to hear, so share.)