I wrote a post awhile back about finally sending a long overdue thank you note to a friend who really, really deserved it. That someone was a friend of mine in college, someone who saw me through a hard freshman year. I was dating all the wrong guys and drinking, practically, for the first time and still struggling with an eating disorder and this friend was such an integral part of keeping my sanity that year.
She radiates calm and I absorbed as much as I could from her that year, and I believe without her I would have been much worse off.
She was a good, good friend, but she transferred after that year and while we did stay in touch, life got busy and then busier and we just didn't see each other nearly as often as I think either one of us would have liked.
I'm trying to be a more present friend this year and part of that effort meant reaching out to her, to thank her for something she did for me when Kyle was a baby, and to try and reconnect with her. She mattered to me and more than just a Facebook comment here and there.
We had a playdate a couple weeks ago and then dinner together right before I went to Boston, and I left that dinner radiating calm for the first time in a week. It was so nice talking with her and remembering why we became friends ten years ago. When I came home from Boston, a card was waiting for me from her, with a note thanking me this time with a subscription to Runner's World magazine.
I think people can too often choose silence or distance when it comes to friendships beacuse it's just natural and because sometimes when enough time has passed, taking that first step feels awkward. Real friendship and connecting takes effort -- picking up the phone, sending an email or note, organizing a date -- and sometimes it's just easier to put all those things off. I also think we don't feel we deserve to take time away from the house or kids or dinner to have a conversation or a dinner out with a friend.
We do deserve it, though, and the effort we put forth is really nothing compared to what we get back.
So, are there any friends you need to reconnect with?