(Hey, I meant to finish writing/post this over the weekend. Oops!)
September. I barely knew you, feels like. You came, you went, and it seems you're taking the last of the brutal summer with you when you go.
Excuse me, but it needs to be said: hallefuckinglujah.
So, this month Kyle got to visit Aggieland for the first time, and that game was one of my favorite family memories to date. Way better than taking him out to eat for Mike's birthday this past weekend. Hoo boy.
September also had wine festivals, birthday parties, and more running. (One 5K with another in very early October.)
This is my absolute favorite time of year, you should know, so it's strange that I've been feeling a little off the last few weeks. Feeling down, in a funk, blue. Lisa, a writing guru, wrote this post I've been meaning to link to for ages, because it's some seriously powerful stuff. I couldn''t relate, when I first read it, but I have been relating recently.
Especially this: "The fall dreads sneak out in many ways: the too-often verge of tears; the constant simmering discontent that flares into anger too easily; the lack of patience; the longing for days past; the reaching for sugar, sugar, sugar."
I'm snappy, skittish, impatient, restless, and on alert more often these days than usual. I don't like it.
I'm just feeling like the year is flying by too fast, Kyle's at a difficult stage, my weight loss has stalled, and my house is always dirty. I want the summer sun without the heat, the cool crisp air without the pitch-black evenings, the fall foods without the reminder that another year is coming to an end much too soon.
Then there's that one topic I can't let go of but can't talk about either. A friendship uneventfully fizzling yet unexpectedly hurting like hell.
You should know this about me: I have a very, very, very hard time letting go.
Anyway, all that's to say that, yes, I'm in a bit of a funk.
This isn't how I usually like to end my montly recaps. Especially not when there's so much good behind us and so much good ahead of us. I have a high school reunion, a birthday party, a TRIP ALONE WITH MY HUSBAND ahead of me. Good stuff, people.
(There's always so much good, really.)
But, guys, I don't know how to keep this stuff from you. It's inside me and it has to get out in order for me to get over it. This is all I know. Some people clean their houses (ha!), some run marathons, some bake pans of brownies. Therapy comes in million-trillion forms.
Me? I write.
I'm in a funk, and I hope October shakes me out of it.