(January, February, March, April, May, June, July, August, September)
October may have been the fastest month yet. One day we're celebrating Mike's birthday, the next we're failing at Halloween. I just don't know how a conference call can go on forever and a month can fly by like that!
There was so much good this month: a (mostly successful) high school reunion, an incredible vacation with Mike, and then there was Kyle getting sick again, which suuuuuuucked.
A mostly good month with some bad and can I really complain too much about that? I don't think I should even if I could.
November should be great, too. I'm looking forward to Thanksgiving and visiting my grandma for a weekend and RUNNING A 10K OMG and cooking more than I did in October and lots of time with friends, too.
But looming on the horizon is 2011 -- can you see it, just a little bit? -- and with a new year comes lots of reflection on my to-do list this year and what I want to do/accomplish/become next year.
There are some things I just plain don't want to do anymore that are on my list this year and those things include: watching The Wire (I'm sorry, I tried), complete a boot camp class, and finish my blogroll. It's okay to change my mind, I'm learning. I usually feel really guilty about this because I want to be a person of my word and I feel whenever I change my mind this makes me unreliable and untrustworthy, which gives me anxiety.
But, if you're being honest in the moment, it's okay if that truth changes, right?
I think so.
I'm taking those things off my list.
But there's something else I'm adding to this year's list and adding to 2011's list, too: RELAX.
The day before we left for Boston we had a million things to do. We had to get Kyle's medical release forms notarized, extra bottles of Tylenol and Aquaphor and Triple Paste purchased, his clothes washed and packed, our clothes washed and packed, the fridge cleaned out, and the recycling taken out and ... hold on, I'm getting tired just reliving it.
We also had to figure out the getting-to-the-airport and getting-Kyle-to-school logistics for the day we were leaving, and when I called Mike to ask him a simple question and he blew me off, I LOST MY MIND.
It's so easy to get wrapped up in our own self-absorbed craziness, isn't it? I mean, getting ready to go on a vacation is not the most stressful situation there ever was. It's not something to freak out about. It's something to celebrate and to enjoy.
In a way, I was glad it happened -- that huge blow-up -- because it brought me back to earth and gave me perspective for the rest of the trip and we enjoyed the hell out of the rest of the trip. It felt like a second honeymoon, truly, and we laughed and ate and drank and slept and I'll be grateful for that week forever.
But, now that I'm back and reflecting and looking forward, it's quite clear that I sometimes don't handle stressful situations with any amount of grace and, you know, I really, really want to.
I had the urge, right after we came back from vacation, to just say "screw the rest of the year, I'll continue trying to become a better person in January." And then I slapped myself.
Not really! Calm down!
But this is the home stretch! If this were a race, this is where I'd get my second wind. This is the time to push harder, aim higher, do more. Two more months of the year!
I'm going to pack them full of good stuff.