I went on vacation about a month ago and gained a few (FINE, FIVE) pounds because the combination of being alone with Mike and seeing Jonna and sleeping until 10 a.m. each morning was just intoxicating. I apparently like my drunk-off-life feelings with a heaping side of FOOD.
I came back and ran a 10K, ran some more and some more, and have lost a couple of those pounds but not all, so I still have (about) 20 pounds to lose to reach my goal weight. My initial goal was to lose all the weight this year but 20 pounds in 6 weeks? Probably not going to happen.
And that's okay. So it takes a little longer, no big deal. The actual amount of time it takes to shed all the weight I want to shed doesn't really matter. But.....I'm still frustrated. I'm frustrated because this requires a simple (not easy, there's a big difference) solution and that simple solution is completely and totally in my control. Want to lose 20 pounds? No problem! Here's what YOU have to do in order to accomplish that. No one else can help you but no one else can stop you, either. Go forth and shrink!
Will do! Right after I eat this pizza!
Oh wait.
Anyway, it's also frustrating because I knew this would happen. I knew that my body is far too comfortable at this weight because I've been this weight before and back then it was RIDICULOUSLY TOUGH to get the scale to move even a centimeter. I finally did, all those years and years ago, for my wedding, but fuck that was tough.
I knew it would be tough again, made tougher by aging, which is not kind to your face, your boobs, or your metabolism, you know?
And I could just embrace this weight. I don't think I look particularly bad. I have cute-enough clothes. I could embrace it and move onto a new goal.
Like world domination.
But, I don't want to do that. I really, really, really don't want to do that.
My goal weight isn't unrealistic. It's even slightly above the suggested weight for my height. It's not impossible or only possible through starvation and crazy exercising. This is doable. I can do this. It's as simple as working out just a little more and eating just a little less (and better). YES! I CAN DO THAT!
(If I'd just get out of my own damn way.)
I needed to say all this, I think, because speaking anything out loud (or online) makes it far less scary to tackle, you know? Things grow claws and fangs when they're left to live in your brain alone. So, 20 pounds to go. Sure, that's a lot but it's also a lot less than what I've already lost.
Any encouragement or personal experience or even commiseration is appreciated. Much, much appreciated.
(My investment jeans are just waiting for me!)