She Likes Purple

Your Wishes

The other night, as I finished my list, I asked my Twitter family what they wanted to do in 2011, specific things that they were striving for.

Here are some of their answers:

I loved each and every answer.

What do you want to do in 2011?

The Hardest Goals of 2011

A lot of my goals for this coming year are perfectly reasonable and I feel good about tackling them, finishing them, and crossing those suckers off, but there are some that will be pretty damn tough, that I'll really have to buckle down and become dedicated and smart and focused to accomplish.

Like:

#50: No frozen lunches for the entire year. I eat far too many Lean Cuisine and Smart Ones meals. They're easy, they're cheapish, they're relatively tasty. I mean, for the ease and calorie count, they're exactly what someone losing weight and working full-time could want. But low-calorie doesn't mean healthy and a frozen meal is not a whole meal. Hard to grasp, at least for me, but it's time I start eating healthy, delicious, whole-food-filled lunches. (I'll be taking a lot of these great tips and suggestions into consideration.)

#2: Run a half-marathon. Training is going to pick up next week, and that's not just a physical commitment, but a time commitment, as well. I'll have to complete more morning and weekend runs and I'll have to run more in the blistery, yes-it-gets-cold-in-Texas weather. Running has always been equal parts joy and pain for me, and I think training is about to teeter into the MORE PAIN! zone.

It'll make that finish line fucking fabulous, though.

#30: Go wtihout meat, alcohol, and sweets for longer than I did last year (meaning 2010). I'm giving up all three for the entire Biggest Blogging Loser challenge, and while I'm not too worried -- I mean, it's not forever, and there's still plenty I can enjoy like CHEESE -- I still know it'll take some serious self-discipline to get through.

#31: Go without tv for a month. This is the hardest thing on the list, hands down. I watch a lot of tv and while I don't feel even remotely guilty/lazy/silly about it, I still know this is going to be tough, tough, tough. It's something I enjoy quite a lot and something that seeps into my day job, although not as much as it used to.

Now, we limit the amount of tv Kyle watches -- which means we usually flip on our brain-sucking programming after his bedtime -- and I don't think it hinders us from doing a ton of other things (exercising, cooking, quality time as a couple, socializing with other people we like), I do wonder how ridiculously clean my house is going to be during this month.

I bet you're wondering WHY I'm doing this, then. Well, just like a dozen or so things I've tried over the last year: I just want to see if I can.

We'll see!

AHHH!

#49: Dress up more for work. I work in a very casual office, but I'm almost thirty, and I should really dress like a put-together adult more consistently. It'll be tough -- my wardrobe doesn't scream put-together adult -- but I can do it. (I hope!)

#65: Keep the house cleaner than years past. This may mean: HIRING A HOUSEKEEPER but, more likely, it'll mean: GROW UP, JENNIE.

Seventeen Years

Seventeen years is a long, long time to be friends with someone. Do you know how many bad haircuts and bad fashion decisions and bad boyfriends make up a seventeen-year friendship? So. Damn. Many.

I drive an hour to work and an hour home and sometimes when the endless line of red brake lights stare me down or the weather's particularly shitty, I think, this is just awful, but then I call her up and she talks me down and I think, this isn't so awful.

She's my son's godmother, and oooooh I want her to love him, adore him, find him HILARIOUS more than any other person finds him HILARIOUS because her opinion is right up there with Veronica Mars. Her opinion MATTERS, people.

She lets me be irrational even though irrational is not a setting she finds tolerable with many people. She answers every single call I make to her, even if she's at a loud bar or a loud football game or napping or just not in the mood to talk. I think that's the epitome of our friendship right there: we are so different, we are so opposite, but she always picks up.

I wasn't in a great place the other night for a million reasons, and I wasn't very nice to Mike when I called him about not being in such a great place, so he tip-toed in the house, with a bottle of champagne in hand to try and make me feel better. I laughed and smiled and thanked him, and he said, "You seem better." "I talked to Natalie." "Oh, I hoped you would."

I like to say I don't wish much for my son because I'm just along for the ride. He can love who he wants to love and work where he wants to work and live where he wants to live and I'll just be over in the corner, bedazzling signs in support of him. But, see, there's this little bit of hope that's bubbled up since having him, and it's this:

I hope he finds his own Natalie.

Seventeen years. More than half my life. We've fought like crazy. We've called each other names. We've cried and lied and screamed and rolled our eyes. We've disagreed and crossed our arms and been frustrated. But, I will be friends with her as long as I live.

Natalie's 29 today. She's a whopping five days older than me, that ancient-y, wither-y woman. She hates attention and by this point she's all, "Fuck, Jennie, wrap it up." Except she'd never say fuck so casually.

And when I call her to tell her about this post, she'll laugh, roll her eyes, and say, "Oh Jennie." But only after she picks up.

Happy birthday, Nat Attack.

(Since I've written about her a gazillion times by now and convinced her to write for me at Food Lush, would you be so nice as to wish her a happy birthday, too? It'll embarrass her enough to be totally worth it for me.)

Children's Book Rec: Little Blue Truck

My kid has a rather short attention span. Yes, he loves the movie Cars like you wouldn't believe, but he's never watched the whole thing. He gets a little past the "Life Is A Highway" scene and then hightails it off the couch and into trouble.

He also loves books, but if it starts to get a little long for his taste, he just quickly flips through the last few pages and moves onto the next one. Basically, he's a boy with a busy schedule, and he can't be bothered with leisurely things.

Until he got the book Little Blue Truck for Christmas. It's the ONLY book he wants to read. He gets to choose 2-4 books to read every night and for the last couple nights, he chooses this book, 2-4 times.
The illustrations are stunning, the story is sweet and catchy, and if you make the sounds extra funny, you may get a laugh or two.

Big thumbs up!

***

Uh, the book was a gift from his Nana, so I wasn't paid to say this or anything review-y like that, unless this post makes her happy and she takes us to lunch or something. Which would be nice, come to think of it.

2011 To-Do List

Creating and following a list in 2010 was one of the smartest things I've ever done. It wasn't about big, grand, exotic plans -- although those are fun, no argument here about that -- but more about little plans we tend to leave for another day when we know that day is likely to never come. We're a lazy species when it comes to taking small, proactive steps to get us where we want to be.

I learned so much about how making specific goals can lead to big, positive changes. I ran a 5K and became a runner along the way. I wanted to eat alone at a restaurant and realized I'm much more independent than I've given myself credit for in the past. I wanted to make 10 Food Network recipes and ended up spending more time in the kitchen in 2010 than ever before.

I'm going to make a list every year and I think all these little things will add up to a very full, content life.

2011 To-Do List

1. Make a dish with saffron in it
2. Run a half-marathon
3. Own cowboy boots
4. Read 25 books
5. Take a girl's weekend trip
6. Celebrate my birthday with a fancy girl's night out
7. Try a new ingredient once a month
8. Start/finish my recipe collection
9. Organize a streamlined, calming, productive work space upstairs
10. Own investment jeans
11. Take Kyle to the Fort Worth Botanical Gardens
12. Go to the Fort Worth Modern Art Museum and eat lunch at Cafe Modern with a book in hand
13. Throw three parties!
14. Run 5 5Ks and 2 10Ks
15. See a concert at Billy Bob's
16. Meet my goal weight of 132 pounds
17. Try out three more "best burger" places from this list
18. Send a birthday card to every single person on my birthday spreadsheet (oh, yes, I have a birthday spreadsheet)
19. Finish Kyle's baby blanket (in time for his birthday!)
20. Redecorate Kyle's room and transition him to a twin bed
21. Buy canvas art for the walls
22. Try a new cupcake in NYC
23. Write and submit a piece on parenting
24. Go to Bass Performance Hall
25. Small kitchen reno: install new kitchen cabinets, replace the backsplash, buy a new sink
26. Run 250 miles over the course of the year
27. Raise money for new moms (somehow)
28. Get some adoption questions answered, just to know
29. See my brother graduate high school
30. Go without: meat, alcohol, and sweets for longer than I did last year
31. Go a month without tv
32. Finish the book of letters for Kyle
33. Be more supportive of Mike and his hobbies/goals
34. Throw a baby shower
35. Get a third tattoo
36. Start planning my 30th Birthday Vegas Bash!
37. Take our Christmas tree down by my birthday
38. Stick to my monthly menus better
39. Meet Katherine
40. Lift more weights than in 2010
41. Host a dinner party in our yard
42. Visit a new state
43. Give $100 to someone who needs it
44. Send thank-you notes for kindness and not just material gifts
45. Make handmade lemonade with Kyle in the summer
46. Encourage Mike to clean out and fill up his saltwater fish tank
47. Try pork belly
48. Hang out with Cherie at least once!
49. Make more of an effort to dress up for work
50. No frozen lunches for the entire year
51. Take one class that will expand my interests: business, creative writing, ballet, web design, etc
52. Make something delicious in my new dutch oven
53. Go to bed before midnight more often
54. Go to a Farmer's Market once a month
55. Choose to de-stress more often with: exercise, talking with a friend, reading, cleaning, or alone time and not with eating, yelling, worrying, or lounging on the couch 
56. Make: beef wellington, cioppino, (better) cinnamon rolls, homemade hummus
57. Visit friends in Houston
58. Wear a bathing suite (just a bathing suit)
59. See a therapist
60. Plan/save for a trip to Canada
61. Watch Kyle stomp puddles in rain boots
62. LEARN TO DRIVE A STICK
63. Hang my wall map
64. Make breakfast more often on the weekends
65. Keep the house cleaner than past years
66. Read another Jane Austen book
67. Update my SS card and passport
68. Paint our living room (and buy a rug)
69. All Christmas cards/Christmas presents sent/wrapped before Christmas!
70. Make a general doctor's appointment to get my cholesterol, blood pressure, etc., checked out
71. Take more family pictures
72. Make a friend in the neighborhood
73. Clean out the extra bath once and for all! (Then decide what to do with it.)
74. Organize my jewelry
75. Enroll Kyle in a Little Gym class

Activity Advent Calendar ... Activities

I told someone -- or multiple someones, more likely -- I'd post the activities I included in my Activity Advent Calendar weeks ago. Oops!

Christmas has come and gone but if you're a mega-planner, you can jot these down for next year:

1. Make cinnamon ornaments
2. Send out Christmas cards
3. Christmas music dance party!
4. Hang stockings
5. Let Kyle pick out a new ornament
6. Cookies to co-workers
7. Buy a Christmas book
8. Decorate the tree
9. Make a card for grandparents (which we (unfortunately!) didn't get to)
10. Buy coffee for a stranger
11. Create a tree topper and let Kyle hang it
12. Send cookies to a friend/new mom
13. Wrap gifts
14. Cookies to friends
15. Watch a Christmas movie
16. Look at lights
17. Visit Santa
18. Finish Kyle's baby blanket (I hate to say this didn't get done. His birthday is the new goal!)
19. Drink hot chocolate
20. Wear Christmas pjs*

I'm looking forward to next year already.

*Christmas pjs that I scored at Hanna Anderson the day before Christmas Eve for less than $20. Regularly: a whole lot more! Braving the bitter, angry mall crowds paid off. (Oh, and here's Kyle in last year's Christmas pjs for no other reason than JUST LOOK AT THAT BABY! His hair is sure getting blonder.)

The Biggest Blogging Loser (Reminder!)

Whose pants are feeling particularly SNUG post-Christmas? (Mine too!) So, I've nailed down the details for the Biggest Blogging Loser just in time for us all to breathe a sigh of relief and look toward the weight-losing future.

We kick things off January 3rd ... less than a week away! (And my birthday. That's either very appropriate or very unfortunate.) Anyway, the competition runs through March 28th.

(For my specific part, I'm giving up alcohol, meat, and sweets. Happy birthday to me!)

If you would like to join, there's still time! Send your $20 by January 2nd VIA PAYPAL to [email protected]. I'll email the address you use for payment with all the rules and details if I haven't already.

Can't wait to lose a whole bunch of weight together and for someone to win a whole bunch of cash!

Jackpot

When I walked into his room this morning he said, "There's mommy!" When I leaned forward to tell him something in the car last night he said, "sit back!" When Mike told him it was too cold to play outside today he said, "jacket on!"

I really, really, really love being his mom these days.

2010

(2007, 2008, 2009)

1. What did you do in 2010 that you'd never done before?

I ran. I ran a lot.

I also went to Comic-Con, went to the movies and ate in a restaurant alone for the first ever, visited Boston, took a cooking class, launched a food blog, saw Greenday in concert.

Lots more, too.

2. Did you keep your new year's resolutions, and will you make more for next year?

I did a pretty good job, I'd say. Although there are lots more ways I can kick ass in 2011.

3. Did anyone close to you give birth?

Mike's cousin and half the internet too.

4. Did anyone close to you die?

No. (Phew.)

5. What countries did you visit?

The U.S. of A. (Annnnd, that's it.)

6. What would you like to have in 2011 that you didn't have in 2010?

I'd like to have a cause. I'd like to take it up a notch. I'd like to have more: laughter, fun, ease, and calm.

7. What dates from 2010 will be etched upon your memory, and why?

February 5th (Kyle's first birthday), March 27th (my first 5K), November 7th (my first 10K), and that day in March when I stepped on the scale and had finally reached my pre-pregnancy weight, nearly two years after getting pregnant.

8. What was your biggest achievement of this year?

I made it.

9. What was your biggest failure?

I got too upset/stressed/worried/agitated/crazy too often.

10. Did you suffer illness or injury?

The flu (once), the stomach flu (once), and food poisioning (once).

11. What was the best thing you bought?

Plane tickets. I never, ever, ever regret traveling.

12. Whose behavior merited celebration?

I'm going to say Jonna for many reasons including (but certainly not limited to) offering her house up to Mike and me so we could take our first adults-only, child-free vacation. We had the most incredible time -- I keep calling it our second honeymoon, and it really was -- and it would have been impossible to make that trip happen without her. (Hotel costs in Boston are RIDICULOUS OMG.)

Not only that, though, she was more than a hostess, she was a gracious, warm, hilarious, welcoming friend.

Mike loves her and Adam on a level reserved for family.

(I do too.)

13. Whose behavior made you appalled and depressed?

People whose behavior is THAT bad don't get much of my headspace anymore.

14. Where did most your money go?

Bills. Daycare. Our adults-only New England vacation.

15. What did you get really, really, really excited about?

So much!

Something that hasn't been said yet this recap, though: my surprise trip to Portland to visit Cherie. Man, from start to finish that trip kicked ass and it was such an unexpected and much-needed gift to me.

16. What song will always remind you of 2009?

Mumford & Son's "The Cave"

17. Compared to this time last year, are you: a) happier or sadder? b) thinner or fatter? c) richer or poorer?

Happier: yes
Thinner: yes
Richer: yes (in countless ways)

18. What do you wish you'd done more of?

Eat better (and wholer) foods.

19. What do you wish you'd done less of?

Worrying and knee-jerkingly reacting to stress.

20. How did you spend Christmas?

Mike, Kyle, my mom, and I went to New Braunfels to spend the holiday with Mike's family. It was nice although that many people (and kids) in one house can make you crave a little silence by day three, but, still: Family, a million presents, a million calories in the form of carbs, champagne, and chocolate? Not too shabby.

21. Did you fall in love with 2010?

I fell in love with running. 

(Who am I?)

22. What was your favorite TV program?

Friday Night Lights. If you're not watching it, I hate you. (Sorry, the end of the show is near and I AM BITTER.)

23. Do you hate anyone now that you didn't hate this time last year?

See answer above.

24. What was the best book you read?

I loved the Hunger Games series and finishing it made me blue for days, but I also loved One Day and Her Fearful Symmetry.

25. What was your greatest musical discovery?

Mumford & Sons

26. What did you want and get?

A vacation with Mike.

27. What did you want and not get?

Investment jeans. I was looking forward to those suckers.

28. What was your favorite film of 2010?

Apparently movies were not-so good this year because I can't think of one!

29. What did you do on your birthday, and how old were you?

I turned 28 very early this year and, quite honestly, my birthday wasn't so great. Mike threw his back out and spent most of my day in bed. I did have a party a few weeks later and that was fun.

(But, hey!, my birthday is a week from today so here's to 29 being AWESOME.)

30. What one thing would have made your year immeasurably more satisfying?

Same answere as past years: that elusive winning lottery ticket!

31. How would you describe your personal fashion concept of 2009?

"I'm getting there."

32. What kept you sane?

You (all of you) and Gossip Girl and running and my blonde-headed crazy kid and Mike and champagne and baking and music and Natalie and so so so much more.

33. What political issue stirred you the most?

Why on earth are rights for gay men and women still up for debate? I genuinely don't get this. It's 2010, right? I'm not confused about that? And yet we're still confused about what basic rights human beings deserve?

It's infuriating.

34. Who did you miss?

Noah, my lives-all-the-way-up-in-Canada nephew. (Flights to Canada are stupid expensive.)

35. Who was the best new person you met?

I met Jonna! (And a ton of other awesome bloggers at BlogHer '10.)

36. Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2010.

Guilt is a horrible motivator. Leave it out of relationships and ignore it when someone else tries to bring it in. Do things and spend time with people because you're moved to and not because you think they'll gossip about you if you don't.

Take a ton of pictures. Write a ton of shit down. Celebrate every little thing that makes you happy. Eat, wear, travel, watch, and read things you enjoy. Be kind. Be confident. Give the benefit of the doubt but don't be a doormat.

Choose to be happy.

37. Quote a song lyric that sums up your year.

A shout-out to my crazy, beautiful, hilarious, sweet-hearted, lovable, adorable kiddo:

"In an unreliable world you shine like a star." (From Mat Kearney's "Undeniable")

Truth is, very little makes sense in life except for this: I love that kid and I love that kid's father. 

The end.

***

2010 was something. Here's to 2011 being something else.

It Needs To Be Said

Work is insane, which is not cool for this time of year. Why are people in the office? Why are people sending me urgent emails? It's three days before Christmas, you crazies!

Oh, and you know what sucks about holiday cooking/baking? It requires ingredients. That you have to purchase outside of your home.

There is also the cost of stamps to be annoyed by. I love to send cards, especially Christmas cards, even if I finish sending them around the time we all start thinking about Valentine's Day. But we spent nearly $45 on stamps alone this year. THAT IS INSANITY. And the more stamps cost, the grouchier post office employees get. That's an official fact. Check Wikipedia.

Then, my god, there's wrapping a gazillion gifts when alllllll that lovely paper is going to end up in the recycling bin in a couple days. There's fielding really crappy presents from well-intentioned friends and family. Well of course Kyle needs a pair of size 5T swim trunks! Why wouldn't he! Oh, and you can't remember where you got them? How charming!

There's driving places and flying places with half the world in your lane/on your flight. And no one is smiling. And half the people are texting and not paying any attention to where they're going.

It can be an awfully stressful "most wonderful time of the year," am I right?

But.

I have a job, I have money to go to the grocery store with and family to bake/cook for, and a long list of people I love to pieces who belong on my Christmas card list and Amazon Prime made holiday shopping relatively painless this year and people love my kiddo, even if they don't know what my almost-two-year-old would like for Christmas. (Heck, the almost-two-year-old doesn't know what he would like for Christmas because the almost-two-year-old doesn't quite know what Christmas is.)

It's easy to spiral into an endless whine cycle because there's always plenty to whine about, but let's all resist. For now. For a little while.

Because. It's Christmas. The holidays! We get an extra couple days off, and an extra shot of something in our coffee, a little time with those people who may drive us to drink in the first place but who are still our family, for better or worse, and no one really minds if you go back for a third helping of dinner or a fourth cookie because caring about carbs is sooooo for January and right now, in December, it's the time to realize how unbelievably, wholly, and completely lucky we are.

And we are.

(Hey, act surprised if you get this in the mail in the next couple days!)

Happy holidays from my crazy family to yours.

I'm so glad to know you.

I Think They Call It A Crush Because Of What It Does to THE MOTHER

Kyle seems to fancy a new girl in class. Today, when Mike dropped him off, he practically pushed him aside so he could run over to her and try to convince her to play trucks with him. When I picked him up, he drug me across the room so he could show me her spot at the lunch table.

I was not proud of my feelings toward this girl for stealing my baby's affections away from me.

I think I may have said the words, "Stab me in the heart why don't you?"

This does not bode well for his future wife. Sorry ahead of time! I'll buy you good presents to make up for all that glaring I'm sure to do.

Merry Christmas, Baby!

Mike and I got so romantic this Christmas, you're going to pee yourselves when I tell you what we bought each other. It's almost not suitable for sharing online.

Drumroll...

Nightstands!

I like to think he bought mine and I bought his, just to make it a little less domestically lame.

(But really I bought them both.)

We needed nightstands, though, and I even added "buy nightstands!" to my year to-do list* because in our current house we've been using vintage, falling-apart side tables and in our last house Mike stacked two stools on top of each other while I used an old filing cabinet.

Grown-ups do not stack stools on top of each other. You can quote me on that.

***

*I've moved my to-do list for the year over to another section of my blog, where it will stay forever. I'm making room for my new list, to be unveiled soon(ish).

The Biggest Blogging Loser

Hello! Hi! How's it going?

So, it's been decided there is no right way to ask this, but do you want to lose a little weight in 2011? (Not that I think you need to, of course. You look fantastic! Just great, really.) But, if you have a goal you'd like to meet this (coming) year, I'd like to help you. See, last year I participated in the MamaPop Biggest Loser competition, and it was such a great accountability/weight-loss resource for me. I'd (consistently) put down carbs or a (third) glass of champagne because I knew a weigh-in was just around the corner.

I hoped I'd be at my goal weight by now but I'm not and instead of wallowing, I'm thinking of big ideas to help me get there. Another Biggest Loser competition-type thing is just what I think will help jumpstart the year and get me toward that thinner finish line.

And my idea includes cash prizes. Cash makes everything better, am I right?

So, do you want to join me? If so, all you have to do is comment on this post or email me at shelikespurple AT gmail.com.

But, what will you need to be willing to do in order to join my little group of one (well, two, I talked Kristie into joining me already):

1. Commit to 12 weeks of weigh-ins and accountability.

2. Toss $20 into the pot to join the competition

    2a. (At the end of 12 weeks, the person with the highest percentage of weight loss will get 70% of the pot and    the second place "loser" will get the other 30%.)

3. Send your starting weight (and a picture of that number on your scale) and goal weight on January 3rd, the official start date of the competition.

4. Send your weight each week. (No picture needed for weeks other than the first and last.)

5. Send your final weight and a picture of that number on the scale the last weigh-in (March 28th).

6. And that's it!

All these numbers and goals will be sent to me and me only. You don't have to share your weight with the internet or the group. But it's a non-judgment zone, if you'd like to. There will be an email distro if you need support or help or have questions about food or exercise, but you'll send your numbers just to me. (And I promise not to post them anywhere or tell anyone, not even Mike or Kyle or Molly. Even though Molly keeps one helluva secret.)

If you're interested, please comment, we can talk more via email. If you definitely want in, comment comment comment!

Could be fun, right?

(AND CASH! FOR THE WINNER! WHOO!)

***

Updated to add: I'll collect all emails of those participating and I'll send an official "welcome!" email by 12/30.

In This Moment

His tantrums start in his eyes and then slowly work their way to his lips, where they melt into a pout right before they open up to let a wail escape. He wails over anything: not getting his juice quickly enough, not getting to play with dangerous items, not getting to play in the street, when I sing him a song I swear made him giggle the day before. "NO MOMMY. STOP IT."

(Oh, about that, I'm Mommy. He went 18 months not calling me much of anything at all, but I always always always referred to myself as mama (still do, often enough) but he calls me Mommy. "HI MOMMY! IT'S MOMMY! MOMMY UP UP UP!")

We remind him to use his manners, ask for what he wants, "be my sweet boy, buds" and he looks up at us with those endless brown eyes and nods and says, "yes yes yes" as if he knew he wasn't supposed to throw a tantrum but, man, he just couldn't help it.

And we forgive him like THAT.

He runs everywhere he goes, always looking for fun or mischief and this is how I live my life now too: what will light up his face? What will he go apeshit over? What will he squeal about and love to pieces? What will he think is an adventure? He marches and stomps and picks up bugs and when a train goes by he goes "CHOO CHOO CHOO CHOO" over and over until the train disappears and then it's "CHOO CHOO BYE BYE? WHERE CHOO CHOO?"

The child only has two settings: sleeping and ALL CAPS.

His voice is slurred and squeaky and so damn adorable, I swear the sound that bounces around heaven all day is the sound of kids learning to talk.

He loves Cars and it's all he ever wants to watch. We tried Finding Nemo and he was all, "CA-CA? CA-CA?" (Which is the unfortunate way he says car.) I've bought him a couple things for Christmas that are Cars-related and I realize I'm the mom I never wanted to be: the one who buys into the commercialized hype of some stupid animated movie but, OH SHIT, is he going to love this stuff. I can't wait for him to open it.

He's such a boy, I can't stand it. He's such a boy, I feel like he's this walking, stomping, bug-grabbing, dirty-faced definition of a boy. Like the word was created just for him. Yet. He's so sweet. He has a baby cousin -- a one-year-old little girl -- and the way he loves the heck out of that baby girl is about as heart-melting as it gets. All day when we're around her it's, "MY ELLA! HI ELLA! ELLA ELLA ELLA!" He wants to give her toys and give her hugs and sit beside her. I'm told he's the same in class. While he's tossing chairs and fighting over toys with the boys, he's sweet and gentle and giving to the little girls. My little gentleman. My little man. My rough-and-tumble but sweet-and-loving little guy.

He's almost two, you know. He'll be two in no time flat and from there it's more dirt, more trucks, more trains, more cars, more bugs, more more more and less thigh fat and chub and slurred words and sweet babyness and, fuck, I'm going to miss all that, absolutely, but I refuse to be sad. I refuse to look at my guy and weep over what he was for one moment because that steals something from what he is and what he is is so hair-pullingly frustratingly beautiful. What he is deserves my undivided attention.

Sometimes I just want to write and write and write so one day I can remember it all but mostly I just want to write and write and write because he's just so worthy of all the words ever created.

Discover A New Artist/Band Each Month

From my sidebar list.

January: Eric Hutchinson. Listen to: "OK, It's Alright With Me," "All Over Now" & "Rock N Roll"

February: Denison Witmer. Listen to: "Life Before Aesthetics"

March: Tristan Prettyman. Listen to: "Always Feel This Way" & "Simple As It Should Be"

April:  Patrick Park. Listen to: "Something Pretty"

May: Boyce Avenue.

June: The New Amsterdams. Listen to: "Turn Out the Light"

July: Leona Naess. Listen to: "Ballerina" & "Leave Your Boyfriends Behind"

August: Mumford & Sons. Listen to: ALL OF IT.

September: Bon Iver. Listen to: "Skinny Love," "Flume" & "Blindsided"

October: Johnny Flynn. Listen to: "Leftovers," "The Box" & "Tickle Me Pink"

November: The Shins. Listen to: A bunch of it. I'm the last to discover this band, aren't I?

Deceomber: Band of Horses. Listen to: "The Funeral"

***

Honorable mentions; songs: Kate Nash's "Nicest Thing," Mat Kearney's "Undeniable" & Sia's "I'm In Here"

***

What have been your favorite songs/artists this year?

On Running

Kerrianne wrote a post on running and it got me thinking of all the different exercises and forms of ass-shrinking I've tried over the years and how running has easily been the most therapeutic, soul-healing, enjoyable one I've found.

Less than a year ago, I couldn't say anything about running because I never, ever did it. I mean, I think I could have managed to attempt it I needed to outrun zombies or wild animals but for kicks? For no other reason than TO RUN? Yeah, no, not while I owned a couch.

Now? I love running.

I love it, mainly, because it's alllllll mental. Well, mostly mental, I mean there is that pesky heart-rate-rising, sweaty element to it, too. But, you can't just call-in running or half-ass running (not for any considerable distance, anyway) and, from my personal (newish) experience, there are so many times when you have to become your own biggest cheerleader in order to keep going.

I ran 6.2 miles last month and I had to talk to myself -- positively, nicely, encouragingly -- the entire time. In fact, when my sister asked me specifically what I said to myself to push on when all I wanted to do was stop and collapse, it was this, "You're a runner and runners run." (Yes, that's a lot of word repetition but, damn, it helped.)

In short, running has made me nicer to myself in a way therapy, falling in love, good friends, or Oprah never could, and that is really something.

The other night I had a great run, one of my best, and I wish I could bottle how I felt during and after because it'd sure be marketable. But it's not always like that. Sometimes a run sucks because I can't get my head right, so it's all I can do to make it a mile or two before wanting to die (or punch something). Sometimes everything hurts and sometimes nothing does. Sometimes I don't like it and I hate that I'll have to do it forever in order to meet goals or keep goals and other times I think I want to run for a living.

Just like anything else in life, running is a process and for every step you take forward there will eventually be a step you take back. That's damn annoying but that's also just how it is with: life, parenthood, marriage, friendships, work, and on and on and on. You either find the grace or stop doing it.

During that great run the other night, Mumford & Son's "The Cave" came on and if there's a better song for pushing you across a metaphorical finish line, I haven't heard it. Damn, that song is motivating. Especially this part:

But I will hold on hope
And I won't let you choke
On the noose around your neck

And I'll find strength in pain
And I will change my ways

For me, that noose is a million things: carbs, fights with Mike, insecurity, my thighs, comfort eating, money woes, whatever. I could hang myself in a million different ways if I wanted because there will always be a million different ways to, and it's always going to be a fight to save myself, but running has whispered this tiny little secret to me, and now when I feel the noose tightening, I run.

(There are a lot of metaphors in that paragraph. I hope you got through it without rolling your eyes too badly.)

It's not that I'm fixed or that I always choose a run over a piece of cake or that it's a cure-all, it's just that I'm choosing it more than I ever did before. And if there's ever a way to change your life, if there's ever one thing I can say to someone who's feeling hopeless in order to encourage them to take that first step away from hopeless, it's this: just choose something good for you more than you ever did before.

Two Years Running!

We have a real tree!

I had to basically sign a contract promising Mike I would take care of stringing the lights, rogue needle duty, and daily watering myself. Basically everything you have to do to a real tree vs a fake one.

So far, so good.

Kyle's a big fan, too, but somehow he got it in his head that the lights are super hot. He walks around the tree going "hot! hot! HOT! HOT!" and he doesn't touch anything.

I give that 45 more seconds before the tree's on its side and all the ornaments are smashed up, but that just means for 45 more seconds it's Christmas-y around our house!

Now it's time to address the dozens of Christmas cards we're sending out. I'd task someone else with that but I'm far too controlling. There's a chance they'd turn out sloppy and then what will our friends and family think for the five seconds they notice the envelope before tossing it in the trash?

Do you want boots?

So, last week I posted my wishlist because I like to not-so-subtly remind Mike and my mom that there are things I genuinely want so DO NOT DEVIATE FROM THE LISTS, PLEASE. But, also because it's fun to have all those links in one place for the day when I'm feeling spendy.

I didn't post that wishlist so you could get 20% off a pair of cowboy boots for yourself, but THAT'S HAPPENING, oh yes it is. The nice people at Langston's Western Wear and Ariat boots emailed after seeing that post and offered a coupon to all my readers for 20% off a pair of Ariat boots -- for the next couple days. (Coupon expires Friday.)

Just use the code shelikespurple at checkout.

I think if you're buying a pair of cowboy boots, you should just go ahead and buy a plane ticket to Texas and drink a margarita with me. Granted, that will turn out to be one expensive pair of boots, even with the nice discount. Worth it, though!

(Thanks folks at Ariat.)

Real Marriages: Featured Post by Slynnro

From a great post by Slynnro:

I don't ask him to do these things because he truly does not have the time.  I don't ask him to do these things because I don't think he should have to spend what little time he has at home in the evenings pairing socks and scrubbing the toilet.

But the fact that I do all of those things?  Well, it isn't nothing, and he?  He married well too.

I'm not in Slynnro's same situation, not at all, but I was in a pretty destructive relationship before meeting Mike -- the most normal and well-adjusted man I've ever known -- and that relationship was with myself, so I always joke that I'm INSANE and he's, well, NOT and everyone sort of nods their head in amused agreement, but occassionally I want someone to grab him by the shoulders and just say, "YOU LUCKY BASTARD."

Mike is a catch and he's not even a little bit screwed up in the head and I am -- always will be, which I'm a-okay with -- but I'm still a catch, too.

I also do the dishes 99% of the time and every now and then I look at those clean plates and think, "I WANT TO COME BACK IN MY NEXT LIFE AS HIM."

(Or Molly. Well, Molly pre-Kyle. She had it good back then.)

Anyway, go read her entire post. It's honest and great.

The Year of the Rat

I know what I forgot to tell you about: OUR RAT!

How could I have kept such a thrilling (and disgusting) development from you? I'm clearly being selfish this week. But, no longer. Now images of rats living amongst my shoes are in your head and THEY WILL NEVER GO AWAY.

Hey, want to come over for a dinner date or to watch Gossip Girl or something?

No? Weird.

Okay, so I'm being dramatic. We do have a rat, yes, but the rat is in our garage, the garage that is detached from our house and is a good 10-15 feet away from my shoes with multiple walls in between.

The other night Mike came in from the garage -- where he spends so much of his free time, I sometimes think I should deliver his mail there -- and nonchalantly said, "there's a rat in the garage."

(You should know Mike's default setting is nonchalant.)

(My default setting is not.)

"A WHAT?"

"A rat."

"How do you know?"

"My eyes told me when I saw it."

"ALIVE?"

"Uh huh."

"WHAT WAS IT DOING?"

"Scurrying away."

"It could have been a mouse. Maybe it was a mouse. Mice scurry."

"It wasn't a mouse."

"How do you know?"

"Because it was a rat."

"Did it look vicous? Full of rabies?"

"It looked like a rat."

"You should know I'm okay if you kill it. I approve of that course of action."

"Don't tell too many people you're fine with killing rats."

(Pretend you didn't read those last two lines.)

We keep certain things in our garage that I need often enough -- the stroller, Diet Dr. Pepper, all of our Christmas decorations, but it probably won't shock you to know I haven't stepped foot in our garage since this "development."

In fact, anytime I need one of these things I just holler for Mike and say, "Garage assistance needed!" And when he gets back I always fire a dozen questions at him, "Did you see it? What was it doing? Did it have babies?" And he always says some variation of the following, "You exhaust me."

I swear, I'd rather live with a thousand Freds than a rat.

Well, maybe two.