She Likes Purple

Three Weeks / Three Years

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Race Recap: 2012 Cowtown 10K

I ran the Cowtown last year, and it's become one of my favorite courses, which doesn't make much sense because it's a bitch of a course with a few really stupid hills and one part in the middle where a wide road narrows down to a trail so everyone just sort of slams into each other. (I like to think of this particular part as the time I find motivation to run faster than everyone who is annoying me, though.) Also, this year the course was exactly the same as last year except for the finish line, which was moved a few tenths of a mile further down the road. I don't know how that happens either. 

But there's a steady crowd cheering, the course weaves the runners through a nice part of Fort Worth, and each mile is a little different. Also, plenty of water stops.

I didn't train nearly as much for this race (or the 3M) as I wish I had. Oh hindsight! You are so cruel! I told Kristie, when she asked if I'd been training regularly, that I wish you could count watching a pathetic amount of Sons of Anarchy as training because then I'd probably win all the races.

Unfortunately, evolution and science have failed me again, and knowing the intricate details of Jax Teller's tattoos and having just watched the season three finale TWICE IN A ROW the night before did nothing to help me across the finish line. 

I actually hurt my foot mid-run, either because of uneven terrain or needing new shoes or, as Mike so sweetly said, "maybe you shouldn't run the next race without training." THANKS BABE. YOU GET TO RUB MY FOOT FOR BEING SO SPOT-ON. It's feeling much better today, thank everything, because yesterday I was convinced I'd never run (or work-out or walk without a limp) again. 

(That's a little peek inside my fun brain. I hurt my foot in a race and five minutes later I'm convinced life as knew it is over.)

Anyway, my finish time was 1:16:33, so about five minutes slower than last year. This is the wrong way, I know! Oof! But, we have lots of months left in this year, so I'm still gunning for a PR time next 10K. 

Thanks to Kristie for snapping my finish line shot. She got a shot right before this of someone else entirely, thinking it was me, so I'm just impressed with her camera's recovery time. Or perhaps that's a sign of how slow I was moving.

After the last two races, I feel dusty as a runner and have some questions for the runners among us to recharge my running mojo.

1. I need new music suggestions. I tend to lean on Pandora a little too much when I'm running, which is great if the song that kicks on in my headphones is a good running song. Not so good when the song is a ballad and I have to fetch my iPhone out of my belt to switch songs. Any good songs you've been working out to lately?
2. Do you have a pair of running shoes you love? I plan to get re-fitted, just like I did last time, but my foot and gait seem to be relatively normal so, last time, I was offered a few shoes that would fit my needs. I picked the one (at the time) that felt most comfortable in the store and on the in-store treadmill, but I'd love to go in armed with even more information, if possible.

Finally, if you are a runner too, how funny is this shirt? Order by March 1st, and you can have it in time for St. Patrick's Day!

February Menu

Let's all ignore today's date and pretend this isn't laughably late and maybe also pretend you're still interested in seeing my monthly menus. This month got away from me (probably partly because of my newly-formed Sons of Anarchy addiction) so a few of these I didn't get around to making but all the recipes look delicious, so I wanted to share/link to them anyway. 

Indian Spiced Vegan Chili; Whole Wheat Roasted Red Pepper + Fontina Pizza; Roasted Grape, Goat Cheese, and Honey Stuffed Sweet Potatoes; Easy Black Bean Soup; Black Bean and Sweet Potato Enchiladas; Mike's Pizza (which is this Buffalo Chicken Pizza); Meatless Muffalettas; Gnocchi Mac-and-Cheese; Goat Cheese & Honey Sandwich; Avocado & Black Bean Salad; Veggie Lasagna; Tomato Basil Soup; Hummus & Avocado Toasts; Veggie Burgers (probably just Morning Star)

(January's menu!)

Making/Made anything delicious this month?

He's Getting Spunky

The other night, I was telling a story about a girl in Kyle's class, whose name is fairly unique. I see her name-tag every day and I'm still not quite sure how to pronounce it, so as I told this story, I apparently said it wrong. 

Kyle corrected me. 

I tried to say it the way he did, but he's three. His enunciation isn't top-notch. I apparently said it wrong, again.

He took my face in his hands, looked me in the eyes, and said, "Mommy, say it with me..."

That kid, man. That kid.

Confessions

- I have kind of a foul vocabulary. I wish I cared about fixing that, but I just don't. Those bad words get me through commuting during rush hour.

- I sometimes think I would like to attend church. For the community, the connection, the service to others, but I just fundamentally disagree with too many parts of organized religion that I don't think I ever will (or ever will again, I should say).

- I'm good with only having one child, but I wish it didn't feel like I'm making such a strange choice. Mainly, I just wish I had more people to talk with about the joys and challenges of deciding to have an only child.

- I like IHOP. Kind of a lot.

- I either feel super organized or super unorganized, no in between. 

- I yell at Molly too much. It's a wonder that dog hasn't bitten me yet. She whines all the time, she's impossible on a leash, she paces, she's way more high-maintenance than my kid, and it drives me insane sometimes at the end of a very long day. I love her to pieces, though, which is where the mad guilt comes in. 

- I am not all "everyone should love kids!" or "my kid deserves to be adored all the time!" (not at all) but I get really irked when Kyle smiles or says hi to a stranger and they ignore him. Would you ignore an ADULT who was being friendly to you? (To be fair, some asshats would.) Kids are actual people, with pulses, so common courtesies should apply to them too. 

- I think I'm a good mom in a lot of ways, but I don't feel I know much about raising a kid (in the general sense). Whenever I see Twitter spilling over with parenting advice or parenting tips or parenting talk of any kind, I feel like a chip is missing in me. I'm all, "How do you people KNOW so much stuff?" Many people with just one kid, like me. I'm coming to the conclusion that these people read actual parenting books or other important material instead of watching the CW.

- I think I want a pair of TOMS. 2010 me is so pissed off right now.

- My car is a mess, usually always. 

- This may be kind of a tricky subject, but I get big-time irritated when Mike is overly praised for parenting. He's a good parent and that should be acknowledged (and I'm the first to acknowledge he's a fabulous dad and Kyle is a lucky kid) but he is not doing something revolutionary by taking his kid to a restaurant or being the initial potty-trainer. It's just what you do as half a parenting team.

- Big things I'd like to do in life: write a book, organize a race, go mountain climbing, visit Spain, start a charity, learn to play the violin, live in a different country for a few months. I fear I won't do any of these. 

What are your confessions these days?

I've also begun searching for leather jackets

So, what did you do this weekend? Lots of laundry? Homemade dinners? Time with friends? Or, were you like me and took to your couch for hours upon hours while watching Sons of Anarchy?* Doubtful, I'm sure, since it's no longer 2008, but I would love it if that is what you did so we could obsessively talk about how Jax Teller can be so damn sexy while wearing such awful clothes.

FINE JAX, JUST TAKE THEM ALL OFF. 

My husband, the guy who's watching all these episodes with me, is one of those annoying (or normal, whatever) adults who quite enjoys tv but never gets invested unless that program is Breaking Bad and then he's all DO NOT SPEAK OR WALK LOUDLY FOR THE NEXT HOUR. BREATHING IS EVEN PUSHING IT. Every other show, no matter how much he likes it, is just entertainment for him and not a visual form of crack.

Then there's me. Ha. HA. Become obsessed with a tv program? No not at---fine. I have been known to enjoy a fan video on YouTube now and again. 

What's so funny about starting (and becoming one-track-minded) about Sons of Anarchy now is that I've tried to watch this show before. I started an episode ages ago and gave up. I even sat through the show's Comic-Con panel in 2010 and could barely bother to look up from my phone. 

This is evidence for all of you who say you tried to give Parks & Rec a try but just couldn't find it that funny. Give it another shot. Give it a few episodes. You will thank me. 

Just like I am thanking whatever led Mike and I to give SoA another try.

Last night at book club -- a group of ladies I plain adore and look forward to seeing each month -- I was like, "Good book, nice writing, enough of that, who wants to talk about Sons of Anarchy and maybe Google image Jax in his varying levels of grittiness?" Thankfully a few people were down. Obviously these are my people. 

If you don't know who Jax Teller is, I like to describe him as a little like Tim Riggins with more charm and, at least through half of season two, a better sense of humor. 

A HAPPIER TIM RIGGINS. 

I'm sorry, but if you are still reading this and not signing into your Netflix account, I'm wondering how our friendship can continue.

Any shows you're a (wee bit) obsessed with these days?  

*After Kyle went to bed, of course. He's been exposed to motorcycles at a very young age, true, but we even have our parenting bar set higher than that. 

Kyle's Third Birthday Party!

Without meaning to, we put off planning Kyle's birthday party this year until the last possible moment because January was insane. Days flew by at warp speed and before I knew it, his birthday was two weeks away. Last year for his small, family-only birthday dinner I designed invitations and matching thank you cards. This year: EVITE.

2012, calm down!

Anyway, we debated having one big crazy shindig with all the family and all the friends and all the school friends, but when we started tallying those numbers, we laughed out loud at ourselves. Our house is small and those numbers were OMG BIG so we split the two.

As you may remember, Kyle picked out a Toy Story cake for his class party and I wish I could have bottled his reaction when I showed up to his class with it.

Best 15 bucks ever.

Even though his home party was last-minute and (in my mind) low-key and without a theme, I was still stressed over all I had to do for it. Mainly, clean. Man, having to clean for company is annoying. Especially because you have to DO IT ALL OVER AGAIN AFTER THE COMPANY LEAVES. Evolution has got to get on that.

So, Mike surprised me with a housecleaner for the day. It was such a wonderful gift, and it's something we've never treated oureselves to but HOO BOY was it worth it. The house was so spotless, I nearly cancelled the party. Sorry guests! Our house is too clean for you! Come back in a few weeks when it's back to a normal level of filth! It really made all the rest of the party prep seem downright easy, and while it may seem weird (it's not even something I can wear or eat or EVEN HOLD), it's one of the best presents Mike has ever given me.

So, moving on, I like to suggest to anyone planning a party, to make a list (or Pinterest board?) with all your favorite ideas and then pick just 2-3 of them. You will have nice details and special touches but you won't be too overwhelmed to enjoy the event. This year, our things were:

1. The balloon room

This was actually Mike's idea, and it cost us less than $10 and was the biggest hit of the day. We did use an air compressor to blow all 200 balloons up, but I wouldn't suggest that because it would mean your husband has an air compressor and most likely ridiculous garage-related hobbies to go along with it. Anyway, we tossed all the balloons in our loft, which also helped get some of our party guests upstairs, to break up the crowd downstairs.

2. Favors!

I saw this idea on Pinterest and they seemed so easy and so cute and they were, in theory. In actuality, shovels were a bitch to find. I went everywhere and I finally settled on some seasonal ones in Target. (I really wanted shovels more like this, but I put off buying them until there was no time for shipping. ROOKIE MISTAKE!)

Still, they ended up really cute and the kids seemed to like them.

3. Happy kid.

Mainly, I just wanted Kyle to have fun and he did. OH DID HE. He asked me the very next morning when his next birthday party was going to be. He loved hanging with his buddies, opening his gifts (they were all fantastic, great job friends and family), and running around outside and around the house.

It was a good day.

I try not to hope much for Kyle because it's his life. I hope that he's happy, sure, and that he chooses good friends, but I want to be an advocate for his hopes and I think that means backing off my hopes a little bit. Still, I can't help but selfishly hope that this kid of mine continues to love his birthday as much as I love his birthday. Throwing parties, making a big deal over it, going overboard once a year in order to show my kid just how much I love him is something I've always wanted from parenthood and this year was a beautiful dreams-meet-reality moment.

Although, someone still needs to get upstairs and pop 200 balloons.

***

Thanks to Natalie for taking the last photo and for all the other photos she took at the party. I will soon beg her for a CD of those photos and update this set!

Our short-and-sweet review of "Drive"

Mike and I watched "Drive" this weekend, and I thought no better conversation could sum up the male/female opinion of Ryan Gosling better than our thoughts post-watching:

Mike: That was weird. I also don't get his appeal. He barely spoke the entire movie.

Me: HE NEEDS TO BE IN ALL THE MOVIES, FOREVER. 

"In an unreliable world you shine like a star."

Hey Buds,

You're three years old today, and even though I can conjure up a million memories of you from different stages of the last three years, I still catch my breath at the reality. Three? Three!

Three. 

I have this feeling that for the rest of my life, I'll tell you stories of this past year, beautiful stories I'll share to warm us up or make us laugh. Stories that will be like a dose of sunshine when we most need it. Because, sweet boy, I loved this past year with you so much, new words need to be invented. I could never do this year justice. I hope my smile is enough for you when you hear me talk about it. I hope it's enough when you hear me talk about anything at all, in fact. I hope you see me and no matter what moment we're in, you always see how just much I love you written all over my face.

I don't want to get all braggy-brag because that's kind of annoying, but we are just ridiculously proud to know you, Kyle. You are sweet and hilarious and thoughtful and your daddy and I are constantly looking over your head at each other, with goofy grins like, "He's OURS? We get to have him FOREVER?" 

You look a lot like me. In photos, I see it like a mirror, but in person I don't see it much at all. I don't know how this works but you look at me with your stubborn, steel-filled eyes or you think long and hard about what pj pants you want to wear when I've only given you the option of two pairs THAT ARE THE EXACT SAME or you stick your tongue out, without meaning to, when you're deep in thought and I see your father.

You have my features and your dad's gleam in your eye and it's a weirdly awesome combination but don't let me fool you too much: you're still very much your own. You're still very much Kyle. In this past year, you have gone from a slow-to-warm-up, cautious little boy to a brave, independent, cool kid. It's been pure joy to watch you open up and shine. 

I said this to you today, actually, that three years ago at 6:32 pm on February 5th, when you were placed on me with your dark, dark hair and your long, tiny feet and your dark-as-night blue eyes, what happened, in addition to you changing our lives forever and ever and making us better, more fragile people, is that the world just got brighter. You are beautiful and you shine and you make our lives bright, bright, bright.

You say the funniest things, kid. You crack me up constantly and althought you push our boundaries and you probably will continue to until the day you move out (WHICH WILL BE NEVER, I AM A WEE BIT ATTACHED TO YOU), the hilarity of what you say to us on a regular basis just seems to make up for it each and every time. 

I wish I was the best mom in the world because that's the mom you deserve. I wish I had it all figured out because that's what you deserve. I wish I cooked every night and cleaned every weekend and organized fun, elaborate activities for us as often as possible and made you laugh every day and never, ever lost my cool because, yes yes yes, that is all what you deserve. I wish I never had to fall short of all the things I wish to be for you but I know the reality is that sometimes I just will. But here's what I say to you often, whenever I go to work or out with a friend or anywhere away from you: "In this family, we always come back." This means that we show up, we get in the ring, we apologize when we screw up and we try better tomorrow and we love with every fiber in us. We aren't always great but we always show up.

We also never let a single day go by without telling you that we love you. 

It's undeniable how brilliant you are
In an unreliable world you shine like a star
It's unforgettable now that we've come this far
It's unmistakable that you're undeniable

-Mat Kearney's "Undeniable"

Because we do. Ohhhhh, do we love you. In fact, every morning I look at you and think that I love you as much as any person could ever love another and it's just not possible to love you any more. Then the next morning, I get up, I look at you, and I do.

Happy birthday, buds.

Love,

Mommy 

Life is Tough

As Kyle and I were driving home the other day, he asked if he could play Angry Birds on my phone. Since he had done a pretty fantastic job using the bathroom at school that day (potty training: another post for another day), I handed him my phone. 

I don't know how my child is better at that stupid game than I am, but he is. 

I heard him sigh in the backseat as he played. I peered in my rear-view mirror, he made eye contact and said:

"Mommy, I am just SO busy."

Parenthood has basically become trading off between stifling laughter and resisting the urge to say, "Oh, child. If you only knew." In short: a lot of tongue biting.

3M Half-Marathon Race Recap

I hadn't really run since my half-marathon in Vegas, in early December. The plan was to run a lot of January and, yeah, I just couldn't muster the energy or motivation to do it. I worked out often, but I sincerely thought I had hit my running wall. 

But, well, I had already signed up for the 3M Half-Marthon in Austin, along with Kristie, and apparently Kristie takes registering and paying for races seriously. As in, she actually wants to run them once she's signed up. I don't know what's wrong with her either. So I couldn't back out, even if the idea of backing out sounded really, really fantastic and the idea of shopping in Austin instead sounded really, really, really fantastic.

Kristie and I drove down to Austin Saturday afternoon, where we were hosted by the always-lovely Natalie, who I wholeheartedly plan to revisit this summer with Kyle in tow. It's a damn shame our kids haven't played together, and we're gonna fix that.

Saturday night we had dinner with a table-full of bloggers, all such lovely people, and I got this crazy idea at the table to someday have a Texas Blogger RetreatI haven't shared that idea until just now so all the other Texas bloggers may hate it and it could just be me in a hotel somewhere but, no worries, I'll just bring more books in that case.

Anyway! We called it a night early because the race's start time was 6:45. IN THE MORNING. That's the earliest race time I've had so far. I mean, early is early, sure, but this felt especially brutal. 

It was cold at the start -- 37 degrees, I think? -- but we didn't have to stand around long. We took off and the first mile was a bit of a blur. Kristie and I split around mile two, and I'm glad we did. I didn't want to hold her back and it was actually nice to stop and start when I needed to. 

There was a lot of walking. Oh, a lot. I decided around mile three that if I was going to get to the finish, I needed to enjoy myself, however much I needed to walk, and that's what I did.

{The finish line!}

I finished slow (2:57:27) but I finished with something much better than a fast time: a renewed love of running. Something sort of shut off in me after Vegas. That race just did not go as planned, and it was super discouraging. This race -- small and well-organized, mostly flat and on what turned out to be a beautiful day -- was so different from the nightmare that was the Rock n Roll.

I'm ready to get back to fun running, shorter distances and nightly runs of a few miles. I'm going to shelve half-marathons until the fall, when I have a cool one planned that I'll tell you about later. But I don't know if I'd want to tackle any distance without the half I ran this weekend.

It was just what I needed.

Remind me, though, next long distance that I run to take the next day off work. Ouch!