She Likes Purple

Throwback Thursday

Mike was a friend of a friend before he was Mike. I knew him for years before I knew him at all. We'd show up at the same place, every few months, and I'd sit a few seats away or stand across a room and never think of him at all. We were thinking of others, wrapping up loose ends before we could start what would turn out to be our lives.

There was a night at On the Border, eating crappy Mexican food we didn't know was crappy because it was the only Mexican food we'd ever had, and it was just six of us at a table, and Mike and I were two of the six. I didn't even look in his direction, didn't even glance his way. Kyle's smile was just a few feet from me and I was too busy drinking a swirl margarita. He left early that night. Our mutual friend apologized for his bad mood. Huh, I thought. I didn't notice it.

Then there was March 2003, when my friend bounded into my room at the sorority house we both lived in and asked what I was doing for spring break. She wanted a group to head to a beach together, her boyfriend, her, a few other friends, and Mike. "Oh, well, see... I kind of wanted just a girls trip this year," I said. She looked disappointed. Her group headed to Florida and mine to Cancun where the drinks were horrible, the sun intense, and my heart none the wiser. 

All those missed chances.

I like to think someone--God, the Universe, Kyle in a different form--was somewhere just laughing at us both. "Just wait," they were saying to themselves. "Oh just you wait."

I am intensely nostalgic, it's my way, and I could miss almost anything including all those single college days, poor and stupid and scared, when the boys were worse than the Mexican food. I miss all that growing up and slamming head-first into mistakes I'm sometimes reminded of during unfortunate Facebook searches. I miss some of those loose ends and the waist I had back then, too. But, mostly, I miss being on the threshold of the best in all my life. It was just about to start, right ahead of me, and I didn't have a clue.

I miss walking into that college bar, early December 2003, when I finally noticed Kyle's smile, drinking a beer and sitting on a couch a few feet from me. Huh, I thought. I see it this time. I wish I could stop time, right then, and slip that girl a note. It wouldn't give much away.

It would just say, "It all starts right now."

Babies, us two, in 2004

Seven (Never Really That) Quick Takes

1. Kyle's in swim lessons and ohhhhh swim lessons are way more enjoyable when your child 1) is old enough to get in the pool by himself and 2) OLD ENOUGH TO SPEAK. (A refresher on what happened when I put Kyle in swim lessons before he was able to do either of those two things.)

At four, he LOVES swim lessons. He's basically the anti-18-month-old Kyle when it comes to pools. Time, you can be kind sometimes.

2. I'm slowly catching up on my TV this summer (I got way behind this spring; tragic) and have we ever talked about how enjoyable Suits is? SUITS IS SO ENJOYABLE! You should really be watching this show, even if it takes you a few episodes (or an entire season) to get over the fact that one of the main characters was mean to Tyra on Friday Night Lights. (Possibly just me on that last part.)

3. So, Mike and I are headed to Belize next year. I've probably done more research for this trip (that has only been booked for a couple weeks) than any other trip we've been on. One, it's in a different country, so I want us to be as prepared as possible so we can stay as safe as possible and, two, there really does seem to be a lot to do. We're not just going to a city, we're going to a COUNTRY, and we want to make the most of the trip. Have you ever been? Want to give me all your tips or, better yet, your email address so I can send you a million questions?

4. I got this dress from LOFT and I really love it. It's much bluer (less purple) in person, but it's a great (and flattering, I think) fit, lightweight, and it's both perfect for summer and early fall. It's also half-off right now, so I don't know what you're waiting for.

5. Have I told you I'm finally putting together a nostalgia wall? This is basically just a gallery wall, but I'm calling it a nostalgia wall because it's going to be filled with things that remind me of our favorite past memories, not just family photos, but old letters, our wedding invitation, etc. Here's a sneak peek, but act REALLY surprised when I reveal the whole thing.

6. I read this post (by Kate) yesterday and just couldn't love it more. Kate's in a league her own, and I love that she's still writing online. This:

I reconcile a lament of aging with the absolute certainty that I would never trade places with myself at 22. Relative to who I am now, I had no mysticism. I was less self-assured and more hesitant. A deal is not a good deal if the only pro on the other side of it is an ass.

7. In the next six months or so, we need to replace our mattress. We're still using one I've had since college and, damn, that's over 10 years now. (HOW DID THIS HAPPEN?) We want to upgrade to a King (we now have a Queen) but my GOODNESS is that an investment. I know we need it, and I know we'll have it for another 10 years, but why can't mattresses cost, say, what blenders cost? (We actually need a new blender, too.) Kyle and Molly really need to get jobs is what needs to happen. 

Things to Do in Texas: Camp/Stay in an Air-Conditioned Cabin at Possum Kingdom Lake

I've been wanting to visit Big Bend for years. It's in Texas, but it's something like nine hours away from us. (Texas is just too big, my goodness.) Anyway, that's...a lot of hours in the car. That also makes it tough to get away for a weekend without taking time off work. Hey! We're here for three hours! Time to go now. When I was lamenting how unfair geography is, Mike told me to pick a place (much) closer to home for a weekend away, so I picked Possum Kingdom. 

Possum Kingdom is a glorious two hours away instead of nine, but it's also a place I'd never been, and I really love adding new pins to our wall map.

We originally planned to camp, but then we laughed at ourselves because camping in July in Texas is a really stupid decision. We instead stayed at the Hideaway Cabins, and it was a great, centrally located place. The cabins were clean and spacious and the staff could not have been nicer. I can't imagine ever going back and not staying there again. Really recommend.

We hiked nearby trails both mornings. Oh boy, the trails were awesome. If you like hiking, I'd recommend Possum Kingdom for the trails alone. Kyle was a freaking champ for both hikes and the one Saturday morning was long and hot. I don't know if I've ever been more proud of him, quite honestly. 

Oh, and we all enjoyed a three-hour nap after our Saturday morning hike. Hikes, you're my favorite.

We also made s'mores, swam at the lake, grilled dinner, introduced Kyle to Friends in our cabin's living room, drove around to explore and spotted ELEVEN deer (Kyle kept count), and just had a really wonderful weekend. And we brought Molly. It helped her forgive us for at least some of the trips we've taken in the last few years without her. 

Some pictures of our weekend:

Kyle cried when we had to leave, it was that nice of a weekend. The kind of weekend you hope to have when you plan for it.

Four Is

Four is very, very loud.

Four is always negotiating one more story or one more episode of Curious George or one more cookie, and it negotiaties with just a hint of chub still left in its cheeks, so you cave as often as you don't because you assume five or six or seven negotiaties with all the chub gone, poof, only to be seen in pictures and blurry memories. 

Four is doing a lot on its own. Four is pouring juice and working the remote and packing its own backpack for sleepovers at Nana's yet four still needs you as often as it doesn't. Four asks if you can button a certain pair of shorts and reach the tall shelf.

Four still holds your hand.

Four is starting to spell and read a tiny bit and ask the big questions ("Will Molly always be ours?") and watching the mind of four work is like getting to see a part of yourself you've never gotten to see before. We don't remember our own versions of four, not really, so we look into the only face we know as well as we know our own and think, I bet I asked that same crazy, wild question. Man, life is a trip.

Four can also be frustrating and, let's be honest, kind of irritating. Four asks the same questions over and over and over, and I know that's because four's brain is working at rapid-fire speeds and is just trying to process all this information we throw at it but still OMG YES WE'RE GOING TO THE PARK TOMORROW. Tomorrow! That's when we're going to the park. 

"Mommy, are we going to the park today or tomorrow."

"I love you with everything I have, but if you ask me that one more time, Mommy is going to need a serious time-out."

Oh, four.

Four is so damn sweet. Four is concerned about others, four frets when a police car drives by because four "hopes everyone is okay!", four hates when you accidentally step on Molly's foot ("IS SHE HURT?"), four tells you that you are "beauty" and pretty and "the super best" every single day. Four passes a dead bug and says, "I bet that bug's just sleeping." Four holds the hands of babies so gently that you just die, on the spot, because four is sweeter than anything you've ever witnessed before. Man, if we could bottle four and shove it down the throats of politicians, the world would be incredible, wouldn't it?

Four always notices when you're wearing a new dress. 

Four just barely fits on your lap but will still try to. You will let four try to fit on your lap every single day of the 365 days that four is four.

Four whines. Oh god, four whines so much you are convinced your ears are literally bleeding at the end of some days, but just as often as four whines, four engages in interesting, funny conversations. Four asks about outer space and what actually happened to dinosaurs and where our family is when we aren't with them. Four says things like, "I love all my family the best because they're mine."

Four laughs completely. What age do we stop laughing with our whole bodies? It's not age four, not yet, thank everything.

More than any other age before four, four enjoys things. Vacations! The beach! Extra dessert! Riding bikes! Pool time with friends! Baseball games! Everything is something to look forward to, and something to talk about, and something to shriek over. I want to plan a million things just to see the light on Kyle's face as he anticipates each one.

I used to think my dad took us for donuts because my dad loves donuts. And maybe that's true, that's actually probably what it was, but I now enjoy the thought that he just really loved the moment he got to tell us that's where we were going. It's so fun, to create fun for four. 

You can still pick four up (oh just barely) and four's skinny legs bounce against your knees when you walk and you (oh just barely) remember when those legs were so chubby and instead rested on your stomach and while you really don't know how you got from chubby legs against your stomach to skinny legs bouncing on your knees, you just hope hope hope you can pick four up tomorrow. 

You miss the baby, the toddler, the two-year-old, the three-year-old. How could you not? They were all special, they were all unique, they were all so damn fleeting, you cursed time like never before. And, come on, they were all so insanely cute. So cute. The cute I can conjur up just thinking of toddling, 18-month-old Kyle is unreal. And two will always be this for me. 

But four. Oh four. Four is...something else. 

Four might be the first glimpse of the person who will call home in twenty years. The first glimpse of the friend you hope to have when you're gray. The glimpse of the boy who will become a kid who will become a teenager who will become everything. Four is the person you're raising, not just the baby you're surviving. 

Four is the sweetest, funniest, best, most frustrating, coolest person you've ever met and you've met a lot of people in your day.

Four is this boy.

Four just may be my favorite. 

(My four needs a haircut, I know, and he's getting one this week.)

Things to Do in Texas: Go to a Fort Worth Cats game

After we went to the Rangers game, we knew a couple things: 1) Kyle had a lot of fun and (unfortunately) 2) The cost of professional baseball tickets if you want to be anywhere near the field are stupid expensive. 

But, Fort Worth has the Cats (I don't think it's minor league, but I know that it's baseball with reasonably priced tickets, so that's good enough for me) and that's actually much closer to home, so I bought us three tickets for this past Friday's game and crossed my fingers.

It worked. It was so much fun. 

For $14/ticket, we sat in the first row behind home plate and Kyle actually got to experience baseball without saying every three minutes, "I DON'T EVEN SEE THE BALL."

What was most fun about this kind of game though, besides the cheap seats, is how fun they made it for the fans. They had fans on the field between many innings, playing games and winning prizes. They had "spotlight" players that, if struck out, could get fans two-for-one beers. The mascot danced in the stands and it was just...fun. Especially for kids, my goodness. Kyle had the time of his life. He is SO a Cats fan now. 

So, you know, buy a few tickets and enjoy a baseball game next time you're in Fort Worth. They also have funnel cakes so enough said, right?

Four years later, and we finally win at fireworks

We moved into our house four years ago, right around July Fourth, and that first year I vaguely remember watching a few fireworks from our porch, where I didn't enjoy them as much I prayed my way through that they wouldn't wake up then-five-months-old Kyle.

I don't remember being able to see the fireworks too clearly, or at least I assume that I couldn't see them too clearly, because the next year we piled into the car and headed to the big, open field and festival our town throws in honor of the holiday and where we could (or so we thought) better see the fireworks show. 

The year after that, we drove a couple blocks and watched them from a big, open parking lot because we got a late start.

Last year, we headed back to the festival. 

This year, Kyle was a little timid about the whole thing, though. He doesn't particularly like loud noises (who can blame him? I find loud noises rather annoying), and he didn't seem all that excited about going to the festival just to listen to loud noises, no matter how many bounce houses we promised him. We invited my mom and Mike's parents and some friends over and told everyone we'd just play it by ear, either pile in the car and head to the festival or try to see some of the higher fireworks from our backyard. In the meantime, I made festive sangria (possibly the best sangria I've ever had; make this TODAY) and Mike bought sparklers and poppers to keep everyone entertained. (Kyle doesn't like loud noises, but he absolutely loved those poppers. So much so that Mike had to go out and buy more the next day. I don't understand four year olds either.)

Sangria. Seriously, so good.

For whatever reason -- those vagueish memories from 2009? our own unimpressive intelligence? -- we just assumed our backyard wasn't the best place to see them, and that we'd certainly make DO, if we had to, but it wasn't ideal or anything.

But we did end up staying home and BOY were we wrong about our backyard. We're idiots, basically.

We can see our town's fireworks show PERFECTLY. PER. FECT. LY. We had fold-up chairs and blankets and drinks and it was the best July Fourth holiday I can honestly remember. The festival is fun, but walking into our backyard without any of the crowds or parking hassles is WAY more fun. Like so much more fun we're never going to the festival again, sorry town festival! 

After the show, we even lit and released some lanterns we'd purchased a few months ago, inspired by our trip to Puerto Rico (minus the almost-burning-buildings-down part, that wasn't very inspiring). My particular lantern ripped pre-flight, but I will not read too much into THAT or what it might mean for my wishes. 

It was a wonderful night, and Kyle did great with the noise. He kept saying, "It's not THAT loud!" It was such a perfect holiday, and the rest of the weekend was great too. 

I hope yours was equally wonderful. 

Also, next year, fireworks watching in our yard. You're invited. 

 

July Goals + June Goals Revisited

These posts can be a wee bit depressing, with all the uncrossed-off things taunting me, but I still enjoy setting goals. I'm am ambitious goal-setter, it's true, but I don't particularly care to change that about myself. I'd rather continue to try harder.

We're half-way through the year. Things start flying now. Happens every year. We're going to blink and it'll be Christmas.

June Goals

1. Go to yoga three times. 
2. Take a flight, just Kyle and me.
3. Make one recipe from Gwyneth Paltrow's IT'S ALL GOOD cookbook.
4. Finish my tenth book of the year!
5. Seriously finish Kyle's thank-you notes (sorry to everyone who still needs one!)
6. Send a couple already-bought gifts to some friends
7. Make my vacation box
8. Hang a couple things on our nostalgia wall
9. Go on another family hike
10. Read another of Elizabeth's best of 2012 books
11. Find someone to make Kyle's baby clothes quilt
12. Find the closest/best barre studio

July Goals

1. Read three books
2. Make these chocolate glazed muffins
3. Host Heather for dinner
4. Try out two more restaurants on D Magazine's best-of list
5. Go out of town twice: once with my ladies and once with my family
6. Go back to A'Dell's awesome community pool at least once 
7. Finish Kyle's swim lessons
8. Finish my vacation box 
9. Get back to yoga
10. Try this wine spritzer
11. Work-out every day this month, but we're defining working out loosely and in whatever way makes me feel okay/proud at the end of the day
12. Re-hang living room pictures (oh, and re-buy a few living room pictures)
13. Hang at least one more photo on my nostalgia wall
14. See one movie in the theater
15. Buy frames for two prints to hang by our doorway
16. Make a photo book of our beach trip
17. Print our DC prints
18. Make s'mores
19. Make one recipe from Gwyneth Paltrow's IT'S ALL GOOD cookbook
20. Send a couple gifts that are gathering dust
21. Write Wendy Davis a thank-you note (inspired by a dear friend)
22. Clean out Kyle's closets

Things to Do in Texas: Hike at Mineral Wells Park

This is a branch of my What To Do posts because I'd like to collect our cool advenutres from around our state into one series, so I can link to it whenever people ask, "But what on earth is there to do in Texas besides eat barbecue and ride horses?" 

I also hope this inspires me to get my family out to do more things in our pretty big, pretty great state. Especially this time of year when "STAY INSIDE AND WEEP" is all we really want to do. 

So, about a month ago, we took Kyle an hour outside of Fort Worth to hike around Mineral Wells state park. Kyle wasn't sure what hiking was, when we told him that's what we were going to do with our day, but he did like that I packed cookies for our post-hike picnic. 

Once we got there, though, parked the car and hit the trail, Kyle said (adorably), "Oh! Hiking is just exploring." Explore we did.

We hope to camp one day (the camp grounds seemed really nice), but it was a great way to test out the park, to see how Kyle would do on the trails, and he was a champ. 

If you're anywhere near DFW, or if you're in the area for whatever reason, I really recommend the fairly short drive to see the park. It's a great one.