She Likes Purple

Easter 2013

Easter is one of my favorite holidays, which I know may sound a little strange. I'm not a very religious person, but I do believe deeply in a few things and one of those things is the power of the people I love to make me feel wholer. 

I had a house full of those people this morning, and I felt it very good.

Including these little dudes, who dominated our egg hunt AND our confetti egg stash. 

We thought it might storm during our brunch and egg hunt. Sometimes Texas can surprise you in the best, most sunshiney ways.

I hope your day was just as warm, literally or otherwise.

***

Oh, and these beer biscuits that were on our Easter menu were DELICIOUS and you should make them immediately. 

Conversations

You know what I wasn't really expecting from age three? I wasn't expecting to have conversations with Kyle like he's just another person I speak to in the course of my day. Which sounds ridiculous, I know, especially considering how often I spoke to three year olds before Kyle. But, still, the conversations have caught me by surprise. For example, while I'm brushing my teeth in the morning, Kyle will yell from his room about not being able to find a particular jacket he wants to wear and then I'll hear him mumble under his breath, "I thought it was right here." What is that? That's something a PERSON would say, a person with thoughts and opinions and memories completely apart from me. It's mind-blowing in an almost better way than the first steps and first words and first other things were.

I'll say, "Let's go to Target, we need hummus and paper towels and..." "I think we need juice, too." "Oh yeah?" "Yeah, I think we're out." LIKE HE'S JUST A PERSON, WHO NOTICES OUR JUICE LEVELS.

I was always more excited about having a child than I was about having a baby, if I'm being totally straight with you. Now, don't get me wrong. I LOVE BABIES. I love holding babies and buying things for babies and throwing baby showers and...handing babies back to their mothers. Give me a KID, that's more my speed. Still, I'm just repeatedly shocked, stunned, floored by how cool it is to have an actual conversation about football or Thanksgiving or new shoes with a person I MADE. I made him! And now I'm giving him an abbreviated story of the first Thanksgiving (minus all the plagues and deaths and stuff) and while I tell him about it, HE NODS. HE NODS AND RETAINS THE INFORMATION.

He's in this phase where he's starting to hear words I don't want him to repeat. Words like dumb and chubby (Tangled, what's up with the use of THAT?) and stupid and other words I just don't want him to use so flippantly and without thought. So, we tell him these words aren't nice or sweet and we should try to choose other words. Somehow, this has made him hesitant to use ANY word he's unfamiliar with. "Mommy, can I say the word...spectacular?" I just...the brain of a three year old. Guys, it's THE BEST THING EVER. (Also, yes. You can call your mother spectacular.)

Speaking of Tangled, we watched it this weekend for the first time and I loved the paper lanterns. You may remember we did this in Vieques (and nearly set the entire island on fire) and I've bought some to let go in our backyard for my 31st birthday. So, when we watched Tangled I said, "Oh, I want to do that for my birthday!" and when we watched the movie for a second time, Kyle turned to me when they first lit the lanterns and said, "Mommy, we're going to do that for your birthday. It's going to be beautiful."

We were getting groceries out of the car just tonight and Molly wandered out of the yard (AS SHE DOES) and Kyle said, "Oh, Molly! Get out of the street. Mom, she's in the street again." He was just potty-trained THIS YEAR and now he's rolling his eyes at Molly's disobedience WITH US. It's something else. It's really something else.

He's such a person, and I know this isn't NEWS and I'm not the first mother on earth to raise a baby into a person, but I have to tell you, there is the Grand Canyon and the Pyramids and Arches National Park (which literally caught my breath in my throat) and the Northern Lights and democracy and all those lions-and-puppies-as-friends YouTube videos and then there's having a real conversation with your child.

Miracles, all of them.

Kyle, YOU are spectacular.

A Warm Spot This Afternoon

I forgot to mention in my post earlier today that in addition to the kindness of the firemen last night, an ambulance pulled over and handed Kyle a glowstick while we were trick-or-treating. They were just monitoring the neighborhood, passing out toys to kids. It was such a nice gesture and Kyle thought it was incredibly cool.

I have to tell you, I love things like this. Small acts of kindness that are of no real effort on the side of the giver but mean so damn much to the receiver. Kyle's just old enough to possibly remember these things, and I'm happy those memories will be warm. 

In other news, I couldn't figure out where on earth I needed to go for early voting in my county. I thought I knew, but my county's website was no help, so I had to call. I was feeling sheepish, that I couldn't navigate a website--I kind of pride myself on my ability to track down information online!--but the woman was so lovely and helpful. She gave me the exact address and told me great job for voting (without knowing or caring about my particular vote). Then she told me to call back if I needed anything else.

It was refreshing, five days before such an emotionally-packed election, to just connect with someone over the simple act of voting. 

Yesterday, one Instagram friend commented that I'm a good mom--something I don't argue with, I think I'm pretty okay--but it's oh-so lovely to hear someone else say it, you know? It took very little for her to type out a few words and hit send but that sweet comment warmed me up for hours. 

I think I'm just in the mood for more of these warm spots, so I'm asking you to share a recent time when people were good, just genuinely kind, when they didn't have to be. 

Grace in Small Things: Take Six

(Take One, Two, Three, Four, and Five)

We've had a spectacularly crappy last few days. I planned to write a post all about why the last few days have been so crappy but those posts are about as much fun to write as they are to read. All you need to know: they sucked! Let's hope the next few days don't.

To re-focus a little, here are some small and lovely things that don't suck one bit.

1. I taught Kyle how to eskimo kiss the other night, as we read stories before bed. He laughed, I laughed, my heart grew a little bit bigger for the millionth time.

2. My mom and my mother-in-law. Texas has been downright unbearable this summer, and while I could go on and on and ON about just how unbearable it has been (our a/c broke this past week, so I'm a wee bit preoccupied with the weather), we (mainly) live here because Kyle has an incredible relationship with both his grandmas. Last Sunday, the day Mike left, Kyle and I spent time at my in-laws' house and then had my mom over for dinner (and I squeezed in a run). I went to Target solo and stuck to my half-marathon training all because we have a really wonderful support system here, in Texas. Oh, Texas. I hate your conditions but love your residents. We're here for a while, because of the latter.

3. My new banner. (Look up!) Thanks Cherie and C*Squared.

4. I went to the gym tonight, discouraged over so much, and decided I'd just walk a little. There was no way I could run two miles (the distance on my training plan for the day). Somehow, someway, I ran two miles, no problem. I credit the Dixie Chicks, actually, for the surprisingly inspiring songs that popped up on my Pandora.

5. Kristie. You know our background, if you know us at all, and it's weird if that's all you know. What makes it not weird, not even a little, is that Kristie is the one who buys me champagne when my a/c breaks, who brings me Diet Coke when I need it, who Kyle calls to talk to without me knowing, who sends me Pinterest finds that remind her of me, and who gets up at the crack of dawn to run with me, when I need that motivation. She's one of the best friends I've ever had and, really, that no longer has anything to do with how we met. We've been friends for nearly six years and I'm just so lucky to have her.

***

(You guys live in some really cool places. Keep the cities and restaurant recs coming!)

Grace in Small Things, Take Five

(Take One, Two, Three, and Four)

1. When Kyle's been slightly scolded for something or another, and he knows he's not being his best self, he gets very quiet for a little bit and keeps his eyes on the ground or his shoes. Then, he walks over to me and whispers, "Hi, mommy." It's his little way of apologizing, I think, and it's just too sweet. Forgiven!

2. Whenever I yell for Mike from the other room by saying, "Hey babe!" he usually responds with, "That's me!" I don't know why I love this so much, but I do.

3. This recipe for stewed white beans and spinach (I left out the bacon) was especially tasty even though I neglected the potatoes on the stovetop to read Kyle Little Blue Truck three times through.

4. Gossip Girl, which is ridiculous, I know, but there you have it.

5. This quote from This Mama Makes Things: "Comparison is the enemy to creativity. Be inspired but be yourself."

BONUS!

6. This video, even though it's upside down-ish. Tilt your head, friend, so you can be wowed by my counting son.

Where's your grace these days?

Grace in Small Things: Take Four

You know, to help shake the funk myself.

1. Kyle's first (small plane) flying trip. A'Dell was kind enough to offer up her plane for the outing, since she knew my kid was bordering near-obsession levels with his interest in planes. We also got to fly right over our house, which was so cool. (Pictures here.) Thanks, A'Dell.

2. Something on my car broke, a hose thingy or something. We had to take the car into the dealer for the fix and Mike braced himself for our vacation budget to be messed with. But, the fix was covered by some carried-over warranty and the invoice said "Balance Due: $0." How often does that happen?

3. Kyle says "bup" for "up." It's one of the most adorable sounds in the world, hearing "bup, bup, bup" from a few feet off the ground when he wants me to pick him up. I secretly hope he says it that way forever.

4. Gossip Girl. I'm sorry, but it's a (one of many) guilty pleasure. Tell me this, when you turn on your TV and go to your DVR queue list (if you have a DVR, of course), what's the first show you'd pick to watch if you had a week's worth of shows to choose from? I'd probably pick this one. I love it. I will not apologize.

5. This coat. I will find a way to make it mine.

Gratitude

A few weeks before we launched Style Lush, I nearly pulled the plug. I was having difficulty with my hosting company, I was staying up all night trying to get things just so, and the pressure was weighing on me. What if no one read? What if all the writers quit their non-paying gig the first day? What if it never got off the ground?

I pushed forward, mainly because I was afraid to let the writers down. These are some of the most talented, loyal, supportive women I've met, not just online, but ever. I needed to at least try.

The night before we hit publish, I was a wreck. Elizabeth talked me off the ledge, Katie tried to help me with some Typepad quirks, and other writers g-chatted me words of encouragement.

We launched. You, thankfully, read. They wrote (write, really) their asses off. I exhaled.

In a few weeks, Style Lush will celebrate its first anniversary, and the site is, hands down, without a doubt, one of my greatest accomplishments. But, you should know, it doesn't feel like my accomplishment, it feels like our accomplishment. The writers and the readers. Together.

I've been writing online -- here and a handful of other places --  three years now. In three years I've learned so much. This relatively small community of online bloggers/writers has been such an incredible tool for teaching me about professionalism and adulthood.

One lesson I've learned is that, occasionally, when someone gains a sizable online audience, they lose their gratitude. On the one hand, I can kind of understand. It can become a full-time job just interacting with people, responding to comments, emails. It can be tough to avoid letting all the compliments fuzzy up your brain. And it's really hard to say "no thank you" to someone's request without coming across like you just don't care.

I wouldn't call my audience sizable, not if we're stretching out bloggers on a traffic spectrum, not at all, but whether you have two readers or two million, oh I hope you cling tightly to gratitude and remember those people in your corner.

I hope beyond all measure I've been able to cling as tightly to my own overflowing, overwhelming gratitude, this year especially.

Because, shit you guys, I am so, so grateful.

I'm not quite sure how to explain this, but creating Style Lush has allowed me total and complete freedom on She Likes Purple. I feel no self-induced pressure to make this site anything other than what it naturally is, a record of my life. I don't feel the need to do reviews or to partner with the right company or to drive up numbers so I'm on any type of list or to generate interest for big-time giveaways. Any and all marketing-related goals or ambitions are just unnecessary, thank god, and I can channel all my online ambitions into Style Lush because it's a site I genuinely and wholeheartedly believe in. I believe in the talent there almost more than I believe in anything else online.

My best friend, Natalie, someone who reads every post here and every post there, called me recently to say, "You sure have some talented ladies writing over there. Do they know all you're good at is online shopping?" She was kidding, I'm pretty sure, but it's a little true. I'm good at finding more talented people than myself and convincing them to share that talent with you. Thank goodness I'm good at that.

We have some fun things planned for our first anniversary, and it's our small way of showing all of you -- reading here, there, wherever -- how much you mean to us, how much we appreciate your comments, your feedback, your purchases on stores we've featured that have led to sponsorships or giveaways or just nice connections. 

I've spent all year trying to make my life better, my waistline better, my stories better. I've tried to live instead of talk about living. I've tried to think more and talk less. And, I've tried to be a friend worthy of your time because your time is so precious and to spend it with me, in any corner of the internet, means something.

No, it means everything.

So this is my long-winded, rambling, sappy, emotional way of saying thank you.

Thank you for the support you've given us with Style Lush, thank you for the freedom and comfort you've allowed me here, and thank you for your friendship, whether it's through a simple email now and then or a dinner when we happen to be in the same area or caring about my son or sending a gift my way when I least expect it but most need it.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Grace in Small Things: Take Three

I've been perpetually exhausted lately, so I'm taking a deep breath tonight and remembering the grace.

1. After a solid month of sicknesses preceded and followed by Molarfest 2010, Kyle stopped being a crankopotamus this weekend and was just pure sunshine. He took epic naps, he laughed, he played by himself, he played in the yard, he didn't scream his head off if I left the room. Oh, it was a much-needed, soul-healing weekend that ended with Mike grilling dinner and he and I watching The Amazing Race together.

2. A delicious company dinner at Taverna last week. We were celebrating a co-worker's (and dear friend's) five-year anniversary with the company. I had a risotto dish I'm still having dreams about.

3. Keeping our house relatively clean for the last couple weeks. It's not always spotless, but it's been easy to straighten up. Unlike how it usually looks: as if we've been robbed by robbers who didn't take anything.

4. Getting back on my regular work-out bandwagon after a week or two of majorly slacking off. Jillian Michaels might still be a bitch, but she's reminding me I'm only (almost) halfway to my goal, so I can't give up yet.

5. Waiting 10 minutes. It's my new happiness trick. No matter what I want to irrationally say or how riled up I get over something, I'm trying very, very hard to wait 10 minutes before spewing my thoughts. If I can stick to this, you have no idea how many people (especially the ones who are married to me) will benefit from it.

***

What are you finding grace in these days?

Grace in Small Things: Take One

Schmutzie kicked off the Grace in Small Things campaign as a "daily reminder to take notice of the positive things we tend to overlook." I've always loved the sentiment, but the idea seemed too big for me. This is hilarious, I know, considering the name of the project. But I tend to be a Capricorn in one very specific way: if I can't do something perfectly, I don't do it at all. I couldn't figure out a way to do this every single day without disrupting the rest of my blog, so I didn't participate, even though I wanted to.

God, I'm ridiculous.

Anyway, this is my year, no matter how much the Universe would like to convince me otherwise. Hey Universe, you're not going to win this one, so quit your nonsense!

A reader suggested I make a list of five things I'm grateful for, to gain perspective in light of this crappy week, and her tip reminded me of Schmutzie's project.

Here we go:

1. Yesterday, I took the day off. I shouldn't have, but I did. After spending most of the morning wallowing, Mike said, "Screw it, let's take Kyle to the zoo."

 

It was grand.

2. Emailing Elizabeth. I can tell her anything and she doesn't think I'm a bad mom/wife/person. Just today I told her my kid was being an asshole. If that offends you, I promise not to email you the next time I need to vent. Because, really, that's just the tip of the iceberg, people.

3. Modern Family. Are you watching this show? Oh, it's the best! If you're not, you should set those DVRs immediately.

4. These lyrics: "I let the day go by / I always say goodbye / I watch the stars from my window sill / The whole world is moving and I'm standing still." I love this song because it reminds me, always, that life never waits for you to figure your shit out. You've got to keep up and hang on.

5. I ran 2.5 miles yesterday, and it felt incredible (albeit not easy). That's the farthest I've ever run. In my life. (Pause for applause.) I'll run my first 5K in a little over two weeks. Who wants to meet me at the finish line with diamonds? Or cinnamon rolls?

You can always tell me what you're grateful for. Sometimes reading your comments is the best part of my day, second only to these guys:

 

Although, not the lizard. I mean, I'm sure he's nice and all (although when I say nice, I think I mean not nice even a little bit), but I imagine he doesn't snuggle nearly as well as the two on the left.