She Likes Purple

September Menu + Workouts!

So, hey! It's September 10th. This is what happens when you take a relaxing, sun-soaked vacation. TIME COMPLETELY FLIES BY. Anyway, I fell out of my work-out routine with gearing up for vacation, being on vacation (check out the very best burger in all the world I ate while in California, for starters), and then returning from vacation, but I'm back at it now.

The recipes I included this month, in case you'd like to make them or pin them are: Cheesy Broccoli Orzo, Vegetarian Taco Salad, Roasted Corn + Tomato Soup, Skinny Mozzarella Sticks, Mexican Inspired Grilled Cheese (I'm going to try to create this recipe myself. LIKE A REAL ADULT OMG), 5-ingredient Coconut Curry, Quinoa Black Bean Burrito Bowls, Healthier Fettuccine Alfredo, Spicy Black Bean Tostados, Stuffed Grilled Peppers (making this one up too).

As you can likely tell, September is a wee bit nuts for me, especially that third week when I'm on both a work trip and a semi-work trip (blogging-related trip) so cooking is a little light and working out might be a little tough. 

Wish me much luck through it!

Week 2 of Half Training: Yoga + Guilt

(This was supposed to go up Monday! Apparently, all this training leaves me no time to write about training.)

I finished every work-out on my training plan last week except a 1-mile run and that's because I decided to sit on the couch one evening and drink hard cider instead. I'm sure you understand. I also made all my planned recipes except one and that's because Mike and I had an impromptu date night instead of making orzo pasta. I'm sure you understand that, too. Life is about balance or a similar but lesser-known saying: Life is about giving orzo the finger for fried pickles and cold beer with your husband on occasion.

I feel really good about my commitment to training (so far). I pack in multiple work-outs and eat so much better than I have eaten in the last few months. (Fried pickles only on occasion!) I feel like I'm sloooooowly learning balance, which is what I really wanted from this round of training.

(I will admit to being a little worried now that I don't have the Olympics as background to my running. Nothing says motivation like watching a montage of athletes winning the gold medal while you're just trying to finish two miles. Also, nothing says motivation like Ryan Lochte's abs.)

One new thing last week was a lot more yoga at a local studio, and they thankfully offer plenty of early morning and late evening classes, so I can squeeze in work-outs without disrupting my home life too much.

Hey, funny yoga story before I move on: last Thursday I decided to spice things up by trying a new (to me) class. The class is called "metal," which is what your abs will resemble if you do this class regularly, I suspect. I should have known something was more challenging about metal (well, something other than the name, that is) when I walked in the room to see only three people there. Huh? I thought. Must be a light night. HAHAHA NO. It was one of the most intense work-outs I've ever done. Afterward, in fact, I had to sit in my car to catch my breath, sure that I'd run into a tree if I attempted to drive home immediately. "Sorry officer! I ran into this tree because of yoga." That probably wouldn't have worked.

Anyway, work-outs are (mostly) good, eating is (mostly) healthy, and I'm a-okay with mostly being enough.

One thing that training has reminded me of this time around--even just two short weeks in--is how time-consuming it can be. I try my best to work out early in the morning or late at night so I'm not missing much of my normal life but that isn't 100% possible and that still means I'm exhausted so things like laundry and the dishes and responding to semi-important emails all fall to the back-burner. Basically, it's hard to focus on a new thing without unfocusing on other things, including things I really love and enjoy. Like clean clothes! I like clean clothes a lot.

It's easy to let guilt kill my motivation--"I shouldn't go to the gym this morning when I could stay home with my family or clean the house or run errands instead."--and it's hard not to let that guilt plague me while I'm knocking out a mile here and there, but it's so important not to let it stop me. I don't want to be an overweight, unhealthy mom and wife, which is what I become when I'm eating a lot more and working out a lot less. (Shocking news, right? Eating more + working out less = rounder waist!) Just like Kyle can only benefit from Mike and me enjoying each other, my family can only benefit if I feel good about myself. While I may need to re-figure out how to juggle some of my at-home responsibilities (LAUNDRY!) with my training schedule, I always feel so much better when I'm working out. I'm nicer and more inspired and more at ease with myself and with life in general.

I'm not sure if I typed the above two paragraphs as a reminder to myself that these are healthy and positive changes I'm re-incorporating into my life or for anyone out there who might also be struggling with the guilt of taking time for yourself and your health, but I hope we can collectively remember to tell guilt to shove it.

To sum up, my deep thoughts for today: yes to the occassional fried pickle, metal yoga is not all zen and stretching, and guilt is stupid. The end!

Week 1 of Half Training: Highs & Lows

I said I wasn't going to recap my half-marathon training by week this time around and here I am recapping my half-marathon training by week this time around. I will work on being a person of my word in 2013.

Anyway, I thought I'd break this week into the highs and lows, the winners and losers, the silver linings and the you've-got-to-be-kidding-mes, if you will.

The Highs

1. New shoes!

2. I went to a yoga class alone. Okay, you're probably squinting your eyes at the screen now, convinced you read that wrong, but nope. That's kind of a big deal in my little world. While I love group exercise (and love groups in general), I really only love group exercise with a friend. I'm shy in big groups when I'm flying solo. (Is that surprising?) So, I sucked it up and went to yoga last week all by myself, even though I was a bundle of nerves. Of course, it was fiiiine. No one laughed directly at me, and I made it out in one piece. Little victories!

3. These delicious and so-easy-to-make tacos. 

4. I did (nearly) everything on my training plan last week. Self high-five! I even felt GOOD after my 1.5 miles run last night. I'm sure that'll change next run. Running doesn't let you feel impressed with yourself for very long. Oh, running.

5. I totally curbed late-night snacking (which is my diet KRYPTONITE, you guys) all last week, and the scale reflected a loss this morning.

The Lows

1. I got sick last week. A sinusy/head cold-type thing. IN AUGUST! I have been cranky and bitter about it. I rarely get sick and then I get a cold when it's 108 degrees outside? (Come ON immune system. Step up!)

2. I indulged a little too much on Saturday (my no-rules day) and felt sluggish and gross all Saturday night/Sunday morning.

3. I need a dozen more sports bras so I don't have to do the laundry so much during this training schedule. (That's a weird low, but can we agree that more laundry is always a low, NO MATTER THE CAUSE?)

2012 Half-marathon Training Plan + Thoughts

Last year I modified a Hal Higdon training plan for my first half-marathon. Main thing, I extended it to include more weeks. I didn't want to kick things off running three miles and then immediately hate life. That sounded like zero fun. Instead, I wanted a few easing-me-into-the-pain weeks, so I took the plan from 12 to 18 weeks.

A couple things I learned from my training:

1. I didn't make cross-training a priority. I took a few kickboxing classes and did the 30-Day Shred a handful of times, but running was my focus. Strangely, the weeks I incorporated cross-training, I saw a difference in my runs. Actually, that's not strange, that's obvious to almost everyone, and this time around I'm going to try to remember it myself.

2. I didn't run far enough. Many plans tell you not to train for the full distance you're running. In general, I hear you should train half the distance for a 5K and 10K and then 10 miles for a half-marathon. So, my longest run was 10 miles, and I only ran that once. I did run all 13.1 miles of my race, but those last three were awful, worse than I can even describe with words I feel comfortable having my mother read. So, this year I've added an 11- and 12-mile run.

3. I let myself off the hook too often and too easily. There's no way I can stick to this plan 100%--there's life and family and work and illness, etc.--but I can't let myself off the hook just because I don't want to run/work-out.

4. I depended on my partner too much. Kristie is awesome, and I love her more than almost anyone I'm not legally obligated to love, but when she was out of town or busy, I would slack off. I need to have as much confidence in my ability to do something as I have in my ability to do something with someone.

5. I didn't eat right. Last fall, I possibly worked out more than I have in a decade, but I ate like I was constantly at a frat party. I'm not just planning my work-outs this time, but my meals, too. It affects performance, it affects how I feel, it's pretty essential to success.

So, I modified last year's plan to include more cross, to include a few longer runs, etc. (Drumroll) Here it is:

(Click on the image to enlarge!)

I officially start this coming Monday, wish me luck! New shoes are on their way, too. I tell you what, there is no better way to stare down 18 weeks of work-outs than with new shoes.

(Well, maybe with champagne, but that seems counter-productive.)

Seven Quick Takes: Family Issues, Taylor Kitsch, Smoothies + More

1. My dad was in Texas this past weekend, visiting for a couple days. Kyle hasn't seen him since he visited last summer, so it was great that he took to my dad so quickly. He even asked for him over and over after we dropped him off at the airport yesterday morning. My relationship with my dad is ... complicated (mostly complicated for me, admittedly) but it was still a good visit. I appreciated that he complimented our newly cleaned house and our tiny town and my sweet boy. (He called Kyle "perfect" and although he's not, ohgodno, his grandpa should think he is, so it was nice to hear.)

A visit with him stirs up so much in my head and heart, and I'm still waiting for the stirring to settle. Still, it was good to see him. It was good for Kyle to see him.

 2. Let's move on from Family Issues with an uplifting note on Savages (ha), which we saw while my dad was in town (heads-up: kind of an awkward movie to see with your father) and despite it being hide-behind-my-hands violent, I actually liked it. Taylor Kitsch redeems all those John Carter Battlestar Whatever Movies and brings the Tim Riggins-level appeal (apparently what Tim Riggins was missing all this time was FACIAL SCARS, who knew!) and Blake Lively even made me hate her a little less.

I don't know that I'd recommend it--man, it's just so violent and I know there are few people who seek out these kinds of movies--but I felt myself enjoying it in the middle of it, to my own surprise.

3. Hey, don't know if I mentioned it but a couple weeks ago we hosted Hometown week at Food Lush and Style Lush and I'm so crazy proud of the quality of the posts from that week. If you're visiting Texas, Chicago, New York City, California, and many other map dots, bookmark these posts, my friends!

4. My mom and I recently saw Jersey Boys together, and it was such a perfect day. We took in an afternoon show and then had a delicious dinner followed by champagne and cupcakes at my mom's house. Kinda funny, though, while I had definitely heard dozens of Frankie Valli & the Four Seasons songs, I couldn't remember if Frankie Valli was one of the singers on the plane that tragically crashed in the '60s, so the whole time I'm bopping to "Oh What a Night" and "Sherry" and "Big Girls Don't Cry," I kept waiting for Frankie to die in an awful plane crash. (Spoiler alert: He was not on that plane.)

5. Kyle is in this (adorable) phase where everything is "super" something. "Daddy drives super fast!" "That toy is super cool!" "The plane we'll fly on is super big!" and, basically, Mike and I have adopted it in our own vocabularies. Forgive me, boss, if my next marketing plan is "super awesome" or something like that. It's just, man, this kid is cooler than I'll ever be.

6. This is kind of a silly thing to write about but I had the most delicious smoothie from Whole Foods last week and I am STILL THINKING ABOUT IT. My life is thrilling. I've begun talking about smoothies.

7. I'm gearing up to start training for another half-marathon (well, two, actually) this winter and that means training starts in a couple weeks. I'm adjusting last year's plan to take into account that the half-marathon I ran at the end of my training last year was pretty brutally awful those last three miles, and I'd like to feel more rockstar than puking-in-a-Luxor-trashcan this time around. I very highly doubt that I'll be recapping each week's training like I did last year, but I'm sure I'll still talk at length about the training. Really this is all just to warn you that things may get Running Heavy around these parts again after a very Running Light spring. (First things first, I need new shoes, and I think I need them to be a fun color this year.)

3M Half-Marathon Race Recap

I hadn't really run since my half-marathon in Vegas, in early December. The plan was to run a lot of January and, yeah, I just couldn't muster the energy or motivation to do it. I worked out often, but I sincerely thought I had hit my running wall. 

But, well, I had already signed up for the 3M Half-Marthon in Austin, along with Kristie, and apparently Kristie takes registering and paying for races seriously. As in, she actually wants to run them once she's signed up. I don't know what's wrong with her either. So I couldn't back out, even if the idea of backing out sounded really, really fantastic and the idea of shopping in Austin instead sounded really, really, really fantastic.

Kristie and I drove down to Austin Saturday afternoon, where we were hosted by the always-lovely Natalie, who I wholeheartedly plan to revisit this summer with Kyle in tow. It's a damn shame our kids haven't played together, and we're gonna fix that.

Saturday night we had dinner with a table-full of bloggers, all such lovely people, and I got this crazy idea at the table to someday have a Texas Blogger RetreatI haven't shared that idea until just now so all the other Texas bloggers may hate it and it could just be me in a hotel somewhere but, no worries, I'll just bring more books in that case.

Anyway! We called it a night early because the race's start time was 6:45. IN THE MORNING. That's the earliest race time I've had so far. I mean, early is early, sure, but this felt especially brutal. 

It was cold at the start -- 37 degrees, I think? -- but we didn't have to stand around long. We took off and the first mile was a bit of a blur. Kristie and I split around mile two, and I'm glad we did. I didn't want to hold her back and it was actually nice to stop and start when I needed to. 

There was a lot of walking. Oh, a lot. I decided around mile three that if I was going to get to the finish, I needed to enjoy myself, however much I needed to walk, and that's what I did.

{The finish line!}

I finished slow (2:57:27) but I finished with something much better than a fast time: a renewed love of running. Something sort of shut off in me after Vegas. That race just did not go as planned, and it was super discouraging. This race -- small and well-organized, mostly flat and on what turned out to be a beautiful day -- was so different from the nightmare that was the Rock n Roll.

I'm ready to get back to fun running, shorter distances and nightly runs of a few miles. I'm going to shelve half-marathons until the fall, when I have a cool one planned that I'll tell you about later. But I don't know if I'd want to tackle any distance without the half I ran this weekend.

It was just what I needed.

Remind me, though, next long distance that I run to take the next day off work. Ouch!

Rock N Roll Half-Marathon Recap

So, yeah, this is overdue (and it's just a small part of my Vegas recap, too), and we may all be past the half-marathon chit-chat 'round these parts anyway, but it would be a very anti-climactic half-marathon training recap without the half-marathon race recap, I think. So, sit down, make yourselves comfortable, this may take a while.

First, Vegas is and will probably always be a favorite place of mine. I simply love a place that is all "hey, I am ugly and crowded and blinding and very, very drunk, and, FUCK IT, TAKE ME OR LEAVE ME. Also, here is an escort card while you drink your champagne from the bottle on the street." It's just so unapologetically itself, and I love it.

So, when I saw the chance to combine a favorite city and a huge life goal -- run a half-marathon -- and I wanted to go to Vegas to celebrate my 30th birthday anyway, it all seemed very perfect, and in many ways, it was. It was perfect that I got to run this race, after all this time, with so many people I love.

But, okay, let me back up a bit. The day after we got to Vegas, we headed to the race expo, to get our bibs and race bags. It was an incredible expo (best I've been to, honestly), and if we didn't have a show to see that night, I would have stayed until it closed.

Then came Sunday, and, OH BOY, was I nervous. I was nervous that it would be tough, that it wouldn't be fun, that it would be really cold or that I'd hurt myself mid-race or something else sucky-yet-predictable, but I wasn't expecting what happened.

First, we had to gather at our assigned corrals (of which there were 40-or-so, total) and we probably stood around for over an hour waiting for the race to start, maybe longer. I turned on "The Cave," right before we started inching toward the starting line, and I felt good. I teared up in anticipation of doing it and I felt, right then, that I was ready.

We finally got to the starting line and took off. Kristie and I had talked about walking every two miles starting at mile three, but we both felt great at mile three and kept going. The first 4-5 miles were on the strip, and it was incredible to see all the lights around us and hear the spectators cheering. I felt great, other than a slightly annoying foot cramp (maybe because of the cold?), but it wasn't anything impossible to deal with.

Once we got off the strip, the race started to feel less organized. The bathrooms seemed to disappear, the lights were sporadic, the water stations became more insane, and we decided to stop around mile 8 (still feeling good) to use the bathroom at a Burger King. Unfortunately, the lines weren't budging, at all, and we probably waited a good ten minutes and, shit, I just got stiff. When we started running after that, it was pretty painful. Miles 8-9 were just hard, but not impossible, and then we hit mile 10.

I've run 10 miles, I've even felt good running 10 miles, but miles 10-13 of this race were excruciating. What was so frustrating was that, mentally, I was there. I was repeating every mantra I've ever used, I was looking at this beautifully lit-up strip and trying to channel all the energy of it, I was reading every handmade sign I passed, and I was thinking of every single person I loved, but I felt my body begin to shut down. I've honestly never felt like that during any run. It wasn't exhaustion or being mentally beat down, I just felt sick and it was very strange for me because, well, I so rarely get sick.

I will never know how I made it across that finish line. It wasn't sheer determination or strength or willpower, it was just autopilot, and I think that's why I feel so crappy about it. I didn't feel anything but pain when I finished.

Once we finished, everything got blurry. I couldn't think of eating or drinking anything, but I knew I needed something. I tried a bite of (green, under-ripe) banana, and wanted to throw that up. I tried an energy drink and wanted to throw that up. I couldn't really speak, which felt weird, but I finally saw Mike and kind of lost it for a bit. I finally felt a little relief after seeing him, and I knew that no matter what, thank goodness, I'd at least have him. From there, we went inside Mandalay Bay, the hotel where the race ended and tried to work our way back to our own hotel.

{I did not want to take this photo, but I'm so glad I did. Thank you Kristie for making me!}

Oh, guys, inside the hotel is when things really got awful. I don't know if the race organizers didn't communicate well with the hotel staff, but they somehow let thousands of runners (there were 44,000 total runners) walk through a somewhat small corridor of the hotel when a show was also letting out (and foot traffic was allowed the opposite way). I don't know why so many runners felt like I felt -- very, very sick -- even though there's speculation on the race's Facebook page and in articles around the web that there was contaminated water at one of the water stations, although who knows if that's true -- but it just got nightmarish in Mandalay Bay. Runners were fainting and vomiting but medics couldn't get to them through the wall-to-wall crowd. I was getting panicky because I'm short and in claustrophobic situations, I feel, well, claustrophobic, but I also felt really sick, and it was bad. Just bad bad bad.

It took about an hour to get through the crowd and when we finally did (oh, thank goodness), I finally got sick in a Luxor trashcan (and felt much better) and then had to walk another half mile or so to our hotel. I kept saying to Mike, "I honestly don't think I can do this. I don't think I can keep walking." And he kept saying, "I know you can, I know you can, I know you can." And that's all that got me through it. Oh, shit, it sounds so dramatic, I know, but it was hard and I've never been so happy to see a hotel room in all of my life. I collapsed into bed and slept until the next morning and it might have been the best night's sleep of my life.

I kind of hate that it all ended with a tough last four miles and a really tough trip back to the hotel, but I like to think any race I run from here on will be better. This is a race that took in nearly SIX MILLION DOLLARS and while a big chunk of that, presumably, went to charity, it just seemed that for the sheer SIZE of the race, it would be meticulously organized. It actually fueled my desire to organize a race one day because so many of the issues seemed preventable. (So many aren't worth getting into, either, but OH THERE WERE A FEW.)

Putting all that aside, can I just say, I am so glad to have had Kristie running with me and Mike waiting for me at the end. Shit, for a solitary sport, I sure do require a helluva support system to do it, don't I? (And I have one HELL of a good support system, too.)

All that really matters is that I finished the half-marathon. I somehow dug deep enough to do it, even though every part of me screamed to stop. I kept beating myself up because it wasn't fast enough or I didn't feel strong enough but screw that, right? I did it. I crossed the finish line (in 2:47:44) and I know that every half-marathon from here on will be better because of this first one. And, yeah, I can actually think of running more now, even though if you had asked me right afterward, I would have said NO NO NO NO NO NO, NOOOOOO, HAAAAA, NO.

Good thing, too. I run another in six weeks.

(The End of) Half-Marathon Training: Week 18

Well, friends, this is officially the last recap before the race recap when I return from Vegas next week. I bet you're all a little relieved this space will stop being about running and here's where I destroy your wishes and dreams by confessing I've already signed up for a a few races in 2012 including both a 15K and another half-marathon in January (the 3M half in Austin). I know, I know, I'm insane, but runners are known to be a very strange group. A group that basically lives by the mantra: "This is crazy, I hate it, let's do it again next weekend."

For anyone interested in reading every single half-marathon related post I've written (I'd wager no one!), here they all are anyway, in one organized place.

Wednesday: 2-mile run

I got my running partner back this week and Kristie and I reunited for a morning run and post-run coffee. It felt great to get back to our regular routine and while I don't think we'll be as insane about our morning runs beyond Sunday, I do hope we continue to work out together. It's been invaluable having her throughout this process.

Thursday: 10K Turkey Trot

Texas is flat, you often hear, and whoever goes around promoting that bag of lies never ran the Fort Worth Turkey Trot 10K. Boy, was it hilly. Kristie and I struggled a little around mile 3-4, and probably walked 2-3 times total but still managed to finish in 1:08, my personal 10K PR (a 10:58 pace).

{My first mid-running photo!}

It did feel great to kick off Thanksgiving in a healthy way even if I put those calories right back on my hips after one (of four) helping of mashed potatoes.

{Part of our Running to Drink group!}

I also need to write an email to the organizers of the race, who we watched pour out all the extra water in a parking lot instead of taking it back with them to donate to a needy group or keep at the YMCA of Fort Worth, who the race benefitted. I have no idea their rationale behind doing that, but I'm going to try my best to find out.

Sunday: 10-mile run

Kristie and I planned to meet early Sunday morning, to knock out our last (and longest) long run. She texted me the night before and said, "It's going to be 38 at 7:30 tomorrow. OMG." I don't often wish for Kristie to be wrong, but OMG IS RIGHT. It was that cold. Our usuallly busy trail was empty, but we set out to do what we needed to do. Run 10 miles. 10 MILES IS A LOT OF MILES, and the only reason I believe I finished is because I had someone with me as a witness. But, I do have something to say about running long distances in general:

Do whatever you have to do to finish.

For me, especially in training, this (now) means walking when I need to, stretching when I need to, stopping to fill up my water bottle when I need to, slowing down when I need to, grabbing a bite of something half-way when I need to, and on and on. We walked four times: at miles three, four, six, and eight, for about a minute each break. (There was a bathroom stop at mile four, so that was probably a little longer.)

Our final time was 1:52 (that's an 11:12 pace).

This run didn't feel impossible although the last two miles were tough and the last half mile was really tough. It felt long and hard and boring at times, sure, but it was possible, and that's maybe the big-picture message to take from all this training, all this running: it's possible.

You don't have to be skinny (I'm annoyingly bigger now than I was when I started training), and you don't have to be in perfect shape, and you don't have to run the fastest, and you don't have to run without stopping. You can still be a runner regardless of any of those things, and you can run 10 miles (or 1 or 2 or 7 or 8). You can do it. It is possible.

Trust yourself.

I've felt discouraged often throughout this journey because it's just been so hard, so trying. But, I finally know I can do this and I'm finally looking forward to it, too.

***

In case you're interested (my mom, for starters!), the race is this Sunday, at 5:30 PM PST, so you might be asleep on the east coast by the time I finish in Vegas, but I'll update Twitter, for sure. Before I wrap up this long final recap, I want to say a huge thank you to each person who's supported me, in all the many different ways I've felt supported. Through comments, emails, tweets, my awesome running group, those traveling to Vegas with me, or those staying behind to watch Kyle so I can take this trip at all. All of your faith in me has helped me find faith in myself.

I'm so very grateful and humbled to know each of you.

I Ran 8 Miles, and I Want to Talk At Length about It

Yesterday morning, I set out to my trail of choice to tackle the longest run of my half-marathon training (and of my life) so far. EIGHT MILES. Man, does that seem like an impossible distance and yet I have to run that PLUS FIVE MILES in two weeks.

The thing about running is that it's just wildly unpredictable. My last long run was seven miles, and I felt pretty good throughout. It wasn't like a spa day, don't get me wrong, but I felt capable, strong, and like I still had some gas in the tank at the end. It was semi-enjoyable, even. This past weekend's run was ... not any of those words. It was the first time I really hit a wall and kept going. I hit that wall HARD around mile 5.5 and every part of me screamed to stop. My legs felt so sluggish and heavy but I knew my opportunities for long runs were dwindling. I only have two long runs left before we leave for Vegas, and I couldn't waste the chance to run the miles.

It's hard to reconcile that one run could be so good and one so awful, and it's really hard to keep going, after such a bad run. Why do this at all? When it's this tough? What is the point, MY GOODNESS, when my DVR is so full of things that do not include running?

I say all this because I'm not a natural runner, and if I'm being honest with all of you, I'm not really a natural good decision maker in general. I'll continually make bad choices and cling to bad habits knowing they're bad simply because it's my default setting. I don't know how to fix that about myself, although I'm trying. I don't know how to reprogram myself, although I'm trying. What I want my life to look like and what I do each day to achieve that life doesn't always add up and running has been this therapeutic bridge for me between who I am and who I hope to be and it's proof that I can get there, even if it's really ridiculously tough at times.

I think on some level it's always going to be hard for me, much harder than so many I read or follow or know. I'll probably always have to fight these self-destructive whispers in my head, to some extent.

What running has taught me, after all these months of training, is that you don't always have to enjoy the act of becoming better than you are, and that just because it sucks doesn't mean you should stop. Not that it always sucks, I've had plenty of good runs, but running isn't easy for me. It's not like I can hit the road and zone out for an hour. I have to work for the miles, and I've decided that's ok. I try to remind myself of this on the trail, and it's what I'll try to remind myself on the course in two weeks. That even though I might occasionally hate what I'm doing right now, it's infinitely better to hate what you're doing on your quest to be better than to hate who you are while you do nothing. 

I have hated myself many times in my life, although that's a really painful thing to acknowledge, but I have never hated myself on a run.

Race Recap: Arbor Day 10K

Last week was another week I didn't get many training workouts in but, oh guys, last week was full of suck. Not to be confused with full of sick, although they're both totally accurate. I got sick, then Kyle got sick, then Kyle got sicker, then I felt a little sick again, then we all got better, then I ran a 10K.

Obvious chain of events, no?

Anyway, Saturday was the Arbor Day 10K, which was my very first 10K last year. I definitely wanted to go back and run this one again, to see if my original time could be squashed like I recently squashed my original 5K time. 

It was a beautiful day (albeit pretty chilly starting off) and I felt reasonably good the entire time. The last mile was tough in the way that all last miles are -- "I'm so close, I'm so close, WHY ARE YOU THE LONGEST MILE EVER?" -- but I felt good. I thought I was pushing it, but turns out, not really.

2010 time: 1:19
2011 time: 1:11
Pace: 11:25 (nearly a minute and a half slower than my average 5K pace)

Sure, that's eight entire minutes I shaved off, but I was actually aiming for 1:05. Now, I also stopped at various times to stretch out my tight left calf and I walked through every water station, so I could really drink the water (drinking from a paper cup while running is not super effective), but I think it's ok that I was a little bummed about my finish time.

That feeling stems from thinking I could have done better and, you know, I could have. So, next race, that's my goal. In fact, I'm running another 10K Thanksgiving morning. (I also have an 8-mile run planned this weekend and a 10-mile run the following and, along with some shorter runs and work-outs, I'll be just about to race day.)

(HOLD ME OMG)

Anyway, after the Arbor Day race, we went to a delicious brunch at Whiskey Cake, and I cannot recommend this place enough if you're in the DFW area. Three words for you: pulled pork benedict. I KNOW, RIGHT?

***

Also, a very enthusiastic shout-out to my mom, who ran her first 5K in 20 years the same morning as my 10K. My mom who finished THIRD IN HER AGE GROUP and then got her PHOTO TAKEN with HER AWARD and was less than a minute shy of the second place runner and, how inspiringly awesome, right? She said to me, after she got her award, "I want to sign up for all the races now!" Congrats, mom!

Half-Marathon Training: Week 14

Week 1
Week 2
Week 3
Week 4
Week 5
Week 6
Week 7
Week 8
Week 9
Week 10
Week 11
Week 12

***

(Yes, I shamefully skipped week 13 because it only consisted of one run. Oof!)

This week, I finished three runs and little else. I do hope to get my strength and cross checked off this coming week, but this past week was my first sans training partner, and I'm actually proud I got as much as I did accomplished.

Tuesday: 3-mile run

This was on the treadmill and kind of horrible. That's about it.

Thursday: 2-mile run

Same as Tuesday. I wanted to go four, but, I KID YOU NOT, there were 20 empty treadmills and Really Loud Breather got onto the treadmill next to mine. I really shouldn't have let that rattle me as much as it did but, REALLY, RIGHT NEXT TO ME?

Sunday: 7-mile run (!!)

I was super nervous about this run. See, I've never run this far. In my entire life. (EVER!) I ran the first 4-5 miles without much problem, which is mind-boggling to me. I credit carrying water, a perfect pre-run breakfast, and great weather (mid-60s, overcast, breezy). The last 2-3 were kind of tough. I stopped to refill my water bottle and also stretch out my ankles and calves at various points and that last half mile, well, hurt, but I DID IT. WITHOUT WALKING (other than those aforementioned, kind-of necessary stops). I ... nearly cried at the end and I was alone on a trail. I shall be a sobbing mess at the end of this half-marathon.

My time was 1:17:30. (That's about an 11-minute mile; a little slower compared to my average training pace, but not by too much.)

The half is in less than a month. I finally feel like maybe I can do this. (Well, until the next bad run, WHICH WILL SURELY HAPPEN, OH YES.)

Race Recap: Fort Worth's Vampire Run

In addition to my weekly half-marathon training recaps (although I'm skipping last week since I did nothing beyond this 5K, I KNOW), I've also decided to recap each race I run. (You can see my last race -- the Rahr's 5K -- recap here.)

It was the Vampire Run's first year, which meant there were certainly a few kinks, but I was eager to run an afternoon race since my half has a 5:30 PM start time. I gathered my Running to Drink crew and nearly all of us signed up or showed up. (We have a Facebook group where we post runs, happy hour invites, links and tips, and it's been awesome.)

I hadn't run in a week before the run, and I never know if a few days off will recharge my batteries or suck the will to run straight from my bones. This was a little of both.

The run kicked off fine, although my entire group shot out in front of me. I couldn't find the energy to push myself much at the start, but I'm glad, since I needed that saved energy for the last half mile, WHICH WAS AWFUL.

A few pros:

• The course. It was through a local park and on a trail, which was nice, and it was well-marked (I've run quite a few races where the miles aren't even marked; what the hell is UP with that?)
• The weather was amazing.

A few cons:

• One water station. Most 5Ks have just one water station, and I'm sure this is a budget issue (right?) but, man, I need more water than that even for just three miles. I think I'll try running with my own water next race. 
• The kids. I know! I sound like an asshole, but (generally speaking) kids aren't the most considerate runners. They sprint at full speed and then stop right in front of you to walk or tie their shoes or talk to their friends or dance (I wish I were kidding).
• Timing. They timed us on the gun time, not our chip time, so I have no real idea what my time was.

My time:

Gun time: 31:26
GPS time: 31:54 (Of course, I forgot to hit stop until I was at the post-run water table chugging water, so....)

Then my entire group went to eat Mexican food and drink margaritas because our Running to Drink name isn't about gatorade, as if you thought it was.

Next race: A local 10K in two weeks

Half-marathon Training: Week 12

Week 1
Week 2
Week 3
Week 4
Week 5
Week 6
Week 7
Week 8
Week 9
Week 10
Week 11

***

This is a bit of a cop-out post because last week was insane and I ultimately worked out very little. Elizabeth came into town on Wednesday afternoon, and we headed south on Thursday for a long weekend of debauchery in Austin for The Blathering. The Blathering is not a half-marathon training get-together, you should know, so my work-outs were basically all sidelined, but I did eat fabulously and drink at least one jalapeno margarita that was so delicious, it deserves a post of its own, but all that makes for a light training recap post.

Tuesday: 3 miles

Kristie and I were going to do a measly 2.5, but we pushed on and did 3. Because we're badasses, that's why. (Or wanted to get home faster, whatevs.)

Saturday: 6 miles

I organized a small run on Saturday morning in Austin, and it ended up being just five of us (Sarah, Julie, Kristie, Katie, and me), and we ran-slash-walked around the North Austin neighborhood we were staying in. It was so humid, and it was kind of ridiculously awful when I decided we could tackle this steeeeeeep hill around mile 3, but it was also kind of wonderful.

I loved running with a small group like this. Sometimes we were all together, sometimes we pulled away at our own paces, but when we reached our front door and Kristie decided to push on the extra .2 miles to make it an even 6, the other four of us just joined suit behind her. Even though so many of us (read: me) were just done. Running is such a magical community, and it continues to remind me of this, over and over. 

This whole weekend was incredible in hard-to-describe ways, even though I hope to try and describe it all soon (tomorrow? Friday? I need more hours in the day!), but that Saturday morning run was such a highlight for me.

Thank you, ladies.

Half-Marathon Training: Week 11

Week 1
Week 2
Week 3
Week 4
Week 5
Week 6
Week 7
Week 8
Week 9
Week 10

I've been slightly veering off my training plan the last couple weeks as I work my new gym membership into my schedule. I make sure to work in my long runs, and I try to get in another run or two beyond that, but the addition of more cross- and strength-training has been a positive physical change. My legs were constantly achy and tight just a few weeks ago, always on the verge of a possible injury, I feared, and they feel so much better now.

So, this week:

Monday: yoga

I swapped out a run for yoga, which was great. It was a nice and easy way to start the week and there was a pretty intense ab section mid-class, which reminded me I've been pretty much ignoring that area for months.

Tuesday: rest

Wednesday: Body pump

This was my strength training for the week, and it was pretty challenging. The instructor was also very pregnant and in much better shape than I'm in. That's a nice, humbling way to start the day, am I right?

Thursday: AM Run & PM Kickboxing

Oh, boy, this run. It was supposed to be 4 miles and I think I made it maybe 1.5. I didn't feel good, at all, and I nearly puked before, during, and after. I had to stop and sit down at one point, even. I think this was more about being really poorly rested the night before than anything else.

Kickboxing was the last thing I wanted to do, but I rallied and actually had a little bit of fun, and a great work-out, which was good after such a crappy morning. (Although I laughed re-reading this post from four years ago.)

Friday & Saturday: rest

Sunday: 6-mile run

I had to do this long run solo because of scheduling conflicts with Kristie, but I woke up, got ready, and headed out. The first 3.5 miles were ok, not too bad, and then I hit the sunny part of the trail, and was hot and tired, and I had to stop and walk a little. Instead of getting overly discouraged, I would just push myself to run as much as I could and then walk when I needed.

I probably walked a total of a half mile, maybe? I finished 6 miles in 1:05, which is still about a 10:30 mile (a little faster than my average pace, even). So, I feel pretty good about it.

Funny enough, I hate walking during any run. I'd rather slow way down than walk, and I think that's more about what walking does to me mentally than anything else. But, at the end of this run, especially with the time I still managed to clock, I felt great.

So, I had to walk. Big deal. I still ran for most of it and finished 6 miles well within my pace's window.

This particular run changed my view of walking mid-race, and it was a real motivation-booster for me.

***

So, three things: 

1. What do you think about walking mid-run? 

2. I saw this quote on Pinterest Saturday night, and I swear I repeated it to myself a hundred times during my long run:

"It's never a question of can you but will you?" (yeah, not always that simple, sure, but it certainly changed my perspective this particular day)

3. This post by Linda was poetically perfect for me to read today, especially the last paragraph:  

Still, maybe that kind of running holds its own magic. You can do this, you can do this. Say it enough and you start to believe it. Say it enough and it stops just being about running.

There's so much to say to this, and I even attempted to respond in depth, but all I can really think to say is: yes, yes, yes. And then yes a million more times.

Half-Marathon Training: Week 10

Week 1
Week 2
Week 3
Week 4
Week 5
Week 6
Week 7
Week 8
Week 9

Monday: cross

I did Level 2 from the 30-Day Shred.

Tuesday: rest

I think my rest included the Teen Mom 2 finale.

Wednesday: 4-mile run

This run wasn't bad at all. It was a little hilly, which is always annoying, but the weather was nice and I felt pretty strong throughout.

Thursday: 3-mile run

Now, THIS run, I wanted to stop the entire time. Training is hilarious. You can run four miles one day and have no problem and then struggle through a shorter distance the very next morning. Hoooooow?

Friday: Should have been strength

I cancelled on my early morning strength training date with Kristie. I realllllly wanted to sleep in. (Well, sleep in till 6:45 instead of 5:30, which is depressingly not that much later.)

Saturday & Sunday: Should have been 5 & 3 miles, respectively

It rained all weekend and my running partner was out of town, so I didn't get EITHER run in. I'm not proud. But, I'm trying to keep it honest here.

I have ambitious plans this week, and I hope to stick to them. Keep your fingers crossed.

***

This week I also signed up for 24-Hour Fitness. For my cross and strength, I really enjoy group exercise but my current small town rec doesn't include classes and any independent place I've tried (yoga, Zumba, etc.) is only affordable if I have a Groupon-type discount. They were also waiving the initiation fee for a limited time, so I signed up.

I go to my first class tonight, so I'll keep you posted.

***

Also, as we were running one morning this week, a car stopped to let us cross the street and then the driver rolled down his window to holler out, "Keep it going, ladies! Good job!"

It was such a small gesture. It doesn't take much effort to speak, you know? But, it was just what Kristie and I needed at that exact moment. That small, random act of encouragement will stick with me and, I hope, motivate me to do something similarly encouraging for other runners and exercisers.

It's also nice to keep in mind, in general, I think. Look around for someone who might be in need of a little encouragement today. Give them a high-five, a smile, a "you got this!" It's so small. But, then again, it's not. It's huge.

Half-Marathon Training: Week 9

I am halfway through my training. This means I'm supposed to run a half-marathon in nine weeks. Acutally, less than nine weeks, if you can believe that, which I cannot at all. Oooooh, nervous tummy.

Week 1
Week 2
Week 3
Week 4
Week 5
Week 6
Week 7
Week 8

This week was kind of weird because Mike's schedule was turned upside down at work and my running partner was out of commission, so lack of Kyle-wrangling and lack of motivation prevented a couple runs. I got the long run in, though, which perhaps foolishly makes this week a success in my eyes.

Monday: Should have been a 3.5-mile run

I bailed on this morning's run because Kyle is doing this really adorable* thing where he wakes up like a million times a night requesting various things like juice or more blankets or kisses or NON-WHITE SOCKS I AM NOT KIDDING. I love my son, you know this, but, MAN, does eBay sound appealing when I blurrily see 3am and 3:30am and 4am, all before I'm supposed to be up at 5:30 for a run.

*HAHAHAHA NOT ADORABLE AT ALL

Kristie and I did make it to yoga on Monday night, for a great fire series class, though

Tuesday: should have been a 2-mile run

Crossed wires foiled this run.

Wednesday

Rest

Thursday

Yoga 

Friday: cross

I did a 30-Day Shred video for my cross

Saturday: should have been a 3.5-mile run

I squeeeeeezed in a 1.75 mile run (I had about 20 minutes before I needed to get ready for dinner), and it was fine. I was proud I got out and ran around my neighbhorhood when I wanted to bail since I was so short on time. Good reminder that doing something is better than nothing, I guess.

Sunday: 5-mile run

I really can't believe I did this and that it wasn't even that bad after basically taking a week off from running. It was boring, more than anything. I mean an hour of running (well, 55 minutes) is a long time to do any one thing without stopping unless that thing is watching the CW (just me?). But, this was ... kind of nice? I guess? I mean, I rarely feel fantastic during a run. It's always about 10 seconds after I stop when I feel I can and should conquer the entire world, but this run was kind of enjoyable for a while in the middle.

I rewarded myself with coffee and a Target trip. It was a nice morning indeed and then Kyle and I went to the park and made cupcakes together for Mike's birthday. Sunday win!

***

A couple questions for you:

1. What workout videos do you love? I am a tried and true 30-Day Shred loyalist but my copy broke and while I can occassionally download certain levels from my DirecTV queue, I'd love to pick your brains about other awesome videos I should be trying instead.
2. What do you eat for breakfast/lunch (if it's relatively healthy)? I'm really struggling with my diet. I'm making poor choices and eating too much (especially at night) and I just need a little eating inspiration. So, tell me what YOU eat for breakfast and lunch, especially if it's good for you and also just plain good.

Until next week!

Half-Marathon Training: Week 8

Week 1
Week 2
Week 3
Week 4
Week 5
Week 6
Week 7

***

I fear this is becoming a running blog, and that's not what I want, but I also know that life ebbs and flows. There will be a time of inactivity ahead of me, when my greatest daily accomplishment will be clearing out my DVR queue, and when my ass is deeply imprinted in my couch during that time, these posts might inspire me off of it. So, I write them. Because it feels like something I'll enjoy looking back on one day.

Monday: 3.5 miles

I remember this one kind of sucked. That's all I remember, so let's leave it at that.

Tuesday: 1 mile (speed training)

We were set to do 1.5 miles, but I cut mine short and did a mile at about a 9:30 pace.

Wednesday

Rest

Thursday: 2 mile morning run + evening Zumba

We had 3.5 miles on the plan, but we knew a Saturday 5K was ahead of us, and we wanted to ease up a little on the running beforehand, to give our legs a break so we could leave it all on the course on race day. These two miles felt great, though.

Then, that night A'Dell and I took a Zumba class together, and it was ... different. Odd. Weird. Not bad, though, and definitely more a work-out than I anticipated. I looked like a complete and utter idiot throughout, hands down, but I am actually quite familiar with that feeling. I also now vow to take a salsa dance class at some point in the future. My hips really should move better than they do.

Friday: yoga

Kristie and I continued our 6am work-outs and dropped in on a yoga class at a local studio (they offer an introductory 10 days of limitless classes for $10!). I stretched out my tight right leg, and it felt great. Even though we got in trouble from the noise police pre-class. Yoga ain't messing around.

Saturday: 5K

Recap here!

***

My question for the day: When do you work-out best?

See, Kristie and I get up before paper boys (it feels like) to get in a work-out before 1) our boys are up, so we don't miss any more time with them and 2) work. We knock out our work-outs (most often) in the very very very early morning, and I am not a morning person, you should know. But, man, nothing feels better than getting it out of the way that early in the day.

So, yeah, I never thought I'd say this, but I might prefer morning work outs, even beyond training. You?

Race Recap: Rahr & Sons Oktoberfest 5K

Last year, the Rahr & Sons Oktoberfest 5K was only my second 5K to finish, so it felt good to return to the course this past weekend and see if I could smoke my time. Last year, it rained the entire race (which I actually didn't mind) but this year it was the exact opposite: really sunny and really warm.

I've been training for my half-marathon with Kristie, but we're lucky to have other friends who run, too, and this group of ladies has dubbed itself the Running to Drink Team (fitting, right?). We run, we brunch, we laugh, we high-five. They're fantastic.

We even have our own signs bedazzled for us.

We all run at slightly different speeds, but Kristie and I took off at the start together. Pretty soon after that, though, she pulled ahead. It was hot, and I didn't want to force myself to go any faster than I could, especially not at first. I knew the run was going to end on a tough hill, so I tried to focus on that as I slowed down a little.

My initial goal was to finish under 33 minutes but not even a half-mile in, I didn't think that was going to happen. The sun! Oof, it was a bitch.

I somehow caught back up with Kristie around mile two, and that re-energized me to push on. On that last, horrible hill, I saw my friend's husband, holding the sign above, and it was then that Mumford & Son's "The Cave" came on, which pushed me over that hill, feeling pretty good.

Then, right at the finish, I saw Mike. All it took, and we finished strong!

Last year's time: 45:38 (a 14:41 mile)
This year's time: 31:17 (a 10:04 mile)

I shaved over 14 minutes off my time and over 4 minutes off my mile pace. I'm running another 5K this weekend (in addition to a five-miler) and I'm hoping to finish under 30 minutes, if the weather cooperates and everything else falls into place. Cross your fingers!

It was a hard but good run with an incredibly supportive group of friends around me. We headed to The Pour House afterward for oh-my-goodness-so-good food and cheap brunch-y drinks.

It was such a nice day.

(Well, until kick-off of the second half of the A&M game. Ouch.)

Half-Marathon Training: Week 7

Thanks for the comments on last week's post. For being such a solitary activity, running has given me a surprising community within my already-awesome blogging community, and I consider that a real gift. It's really wonderful to know you're reading and following along.

So, here we go.

Monday: 3.5 mile run

It inched back up into the low 100s and high 90s early last week and that made running tough again. Kristie and I met after work and tackled 3.5 miles but it was awfully warm, making the run kind of awful. (I will not mention that Kristie made us run uphill the last half mile except, oops, I think I may have just mentioned it.)

Tuesday: 1.25 speed run

These speed runs are tough. Our usual pace is 10:30-12 minute miles, depending on incline and weather, but we kick it up to 9-9:30 these mornings. Good for our endurance, bad for our everything else's. We treat ourselves to coffee after our early morning runs, and on this day, coffee was the only thing getting me to the end.

Wednesday: rest

Same as always. Rests are easy as pie.

Thursday: 3 mile run + cross 

Kristie and I did hills on this run and I actually felt pretty great throughout. The weather was breezy and cool, and something just clicked. I had plans to Zumba after work but they fell through so I did nothing instead. Nothing is actually not a very effective cross work-out, just so you know.

Friday: rest

I took my mom out to eat for her birthday (happy belated birthday, mom!) and enjoyed pizza, a glass of bubbly, and an early bedtime. This was one of the best rest days ever.

Saturday: long run (4 miles)

I have not run this distance in training .... nearly all year. I was nervous the entire drive to the trail, and I just couldn't shake the fear that I'd probably fall over before finishing four miles. My calf and ankle felt tight for a while, too, but the trail was the perfect choice. We passed so many friendly runners and we did a nice two-mile out and two-mile back run. It passed quickly, which is the first time I've ever said that in the history of ever. I also ran this one with a borrowed Camel Bak (thanks Kristie!) and while it felt a little odd, it was great to have water right there when I needed it. This was my week's best run.

{Start of our run; pretty trail at a local park}

After our run we got coffee and walked around the small, local farmers market. It was a nice morning, followed by lunch and a nap with my boys.

***

Speaking of support, what are you training for (if anything)? When and where is your next race or event? Tell me all about your plans, so I can send you virtual high-fives when it's time.

Half-marathon Training: Week 6

Week 1
Week 2
Week 3
Week 4
Week 5

***

Let's just dive right in since there are only two or three of you reading these weekly updates anyway. Hi all three of you!

Monday & Tuesday: rest

Monday was an epic roadtrip of suck and Tuesday was recovering from that epic roadtrip PLUS a feverish toddler PLUS being back at work and tackling a full inbox. Rest  might not be the right term but it wasn't training.

Wednesday: 3 miles

I was home Wednesday for a funeral, but I managed to meet up with Kristie after Kyle went to sleep for a nighttime run around a nearby neighborhood. I was emotionally zapped so I thought it would suck, but it really didn't. It was pretty great, actually. The cooler weather helped, but it's supposed to be balls hot again early this week, so, you know, THOSE THREE DAYS WERE NICE TEXAS.

Thursday: Cross

I did nothing. I have got to start doing my cross. Thankfully, I have Zumba classes lined up this week and maybe some boot camp in coming weeks.

Friday: Shoulda been 2 miles

We decided to spice things up (sounds exciting, right? but this is still RUNNING we're talking about) and do just one mile instead of two but at a much faster pace. Ooooooof. That's the sound of my lungs shredding in my chest. We did it! One mile at about a 9:30 pace instead of a 10:30-11 pace. It wasn't all that easy, but it was quick, and we treated ourselves with coffee afterward. If we ran our entire half-marathon at that pace, I could be drinking champagne at just over two hours after I start. I'll be dead, though, so that could be a problem. (But, dramatics aside, we're hoping our speed training helps any issues the slight altitude of Vegas might cause.)

Saturday: Should been 3.5 miles

Oh friends. THIS WAS NOT A GOOD DAY. I've had bad sinuses all week, so I asked Kristie if we could run in the afternoon instead of the morning but I didn't check the weather like a normal trainee, so when we started running, I was all, "Texas has been much cooler lately and it'll be grand and, wait, it's kind of sunny and warm and why am I seeing spots and feeling light-headed?" I made it 2 miles before walking and sitting and then walking some more.

It was discouraging. It was embarrassing (Kristie made it through the entire 3.5 miles) and I just wasn't sure how I'd ever get to a half-marathon finish line after wimping out 2 miles into a 3.5 mile run.

I whined on Twitter, which is not something I'd recommend, but it does give you a nice, short pity party and sometimes that IS what you need. It also gives you a lot of encouragement from strangers and friends who get it. They've been there. One run won't define your training and you can feel down and discouraged as long as you don't stop training. This week is a new week and I've got a nice game plan lined up for it (although, this weekend we're running FOUR MILES and I've maybe ran that distance twice in my entire life outside of actual 10K races. I COULD BE A WEE BIT TERRIFIED.)

Still, bad runs HAPPEN. I hope that if anyone reads these training posts in the future, they'll see I made it to the race even after such shitty training runs, and if they are inspired by that, oh my god so totally worth it.

***

My question of the day is: How do you hydrate on longer training runs? 0-3 miles is no big thing, but I can tell I'll need some water from here on, but I hate stopping to drink at public fountains or restaurants because it messes with my pace and rhythm. Any product suggestions? I'd love to carry water with me, without having to hold it?