She Likes Purple

Five is...

(Four is...)

Five is argumentative. If you say the sky is blue, five says somewhat matter-of-factly, "Actually, I think the sky is light blue." You may gnash your teeth and pull out your hair and attempt to define blue for age five, but age five doesn't care, sorry five's not sorry, it's definitely light blue.

Five knows everything, no really all of it. You may ask five a question it doesn't know the answer to, but that's simply because something is obviously wrong with the question. 

Five has lost the ability to process any information that isn't information about football or Beyblades or Legos or dessert. If you ask five to feed the dog, five will say, "Sure!" and then you will remind five to feed the dog, and five will say, "Yes, mommy!" and the dog will not be fed until 15 minutes later when you yell, "SERIOUSLY, FEED MOLLY OR SHE GETS YOUR DINNER."

"Don't YELL Mommy!"

Five is just starting to really define its actual independence and where age two or three proudly declared, "I CAN DO IT" when age two or three most definitely could not do it, age five is willing to try a ton of new things that age five can actually do. Maybe not well or tidy but age five sort of thinks it can take on the world, and age five is sort of right.

Age five's manners are starting to click, and you hear "thank you" sweetly shouted at waitresses and teachers and grandparents after years of reminding it to say thank you. Age five speaks loudly enough for others to hear, and answers questions in complete sentences, not shy one-word whispers. When someone asks five how school is, five says, "We went on a field trip and I played with Alejandro at recess and we have dance parties!" animatedly, with confidence.

While age five literally never stops talking it's still an age of few words when I'm the one asking the questions. (I have to get ridiculously creative when I'm peppering him with questions at the end of the school day.) Age five has ironically  said, "I AM DONE WITH THESE QUESTIONS" because oh really, age five? I had to answer 74 questions the other day about where babies come from, I promise asking who you sat next to at lunch is less uncomfortable. 

Age five is better at math than I am. 

Age five is honest and can sometimes deeply hurt a fragile mom's feelings. Age five doesn't mean to, but age five speaks the truth. Oh yes.

Age five turns to wave when it gets out of the car, in the school pick-up line in the morning, drowning beneath its big-kid backpack. Age five grins with its whole self and laughs even deeper. Age five is so, so, so big but when you put it up against all those other grades in elementary school, age five is so, so, so tiny. Too tiny. Are we sure its legal, to let age five walk into that school building each day, all on its own?

Age five is resilient. When a kid says "I don't like you" on the playground, while our hearts fracture into one million pieces, age five says, "I walked away and played with Jack instead." Oh age five. I think I'm learning from you more than I'm teaching you.

Age five still runs to hug you at the end of the day, and while its harder than ever before to pick up five and hug it close to you, you still can. Not for much longer. But for now. You hug and hug and hug. Age five hugs better than anyone you know.

Age five holds the door open for you, and says, "You go first mommy." 

Age five still has the tiniest, smallest hint of baby in its cheeks and elbows and belly when age five is fast asleep. 

Age five says "Seriously?" when it witnesses an injustice, like a car not using its turn signal or a motorcyclist not wearing his/her helmet. 

Age five is probably arguing RIGHT THIS SECOND.

Sometimes when you glance at age five from across the soccer field or parking lot or backyard or dinner table, your breath catches because you can see what age ten or age fifteen will look like. Age five feels closer to that than it feels to those early ages. Weren't you just looking at age one or two? Time feels so strange most days. I remember willing time to speed up, so I could sleep more, be alone more, read more. Age five is at a starting line and the gun's gone off, and you've been waiting five entire years for it to do exactly that but now that it has...wait. Don't turn that corner quite so quickly. Alright, if you must, look back just once, would you?

Age five looks back, but far too quickly.

Age five is hard and beautiful and hilarious (seriously, hilarious) and cool and smart and running away from you a little more each and every day. 

Age five runs a lot. (And trips a lot too.) 

When we were trying, hoping, praying to get pregnant, I used to drive around and talk to my future baby. I'd say things like "I don't care what books you like or even if you like books at all. I don't care what you look like or sound like. I don't care if you like boys or girls or baseball or badminton or want to live with us forever or away from us for most of your days. I don't care about any of that. I just care about you."

Age five reminds me of those weepy promises. Because age five is starting to fill in those blanks. Age five is beginning to draw its place in this world, forming hobbies, making real friends, dealing with its first disappointments and obstacles and talents and victories. And I realize that what I meant then and what I mean now, each and every day, is that as five's place gets drawn, all I really know is that I want a front-row seat in its corner. 

Age five is something else. 

I'm cheering for it every single day.

 

Some Great New York Eats

Weeks and weeks ago, I went to New York for a work trip, and it was one of my favorite trips there to date for all the professional networking I accomplished, yes, but also all the delicious food I ate. Seriously, an A+ food trip. (Which all trips should really strive to be, am I right?)

Here are the highlights. 

1. Roberta's

Adrienne, my friend and colleague, had heard good things about this Brooklyn pizza joint, so we took the subway to Bushwick our first night in town. We were told it'd be at least an hour wait, so we had drinks in the outdoor tiki bar. A table opened up no more than a half-hour later, which is my favorite kind of wait. One that's half as long as expected.

We decided to split the bee sting pizza, and I've wanted a slice of this amazing pizza approximately one million times since then.

(And look! The restaurant has a cookbook that I have now added to my Christmas list.) 

2. Frank

I haven't eaten a meal in Italy yet, but I like to think I know a thing or two about delicious food, especially delicious pasta. I have tried my fair share of delightful hole-in-the-wall gems and also pricey places with a ton of awards and this place had the best Italian food I've ever eaten. 

I feel confident saying that because I was with two colleagues and we each ordered a different pasta (the gnocchi, the pappardelle, and the ravioli) and each was absolutely delicious. We also split the burrata and that was also the best burrata I've ever had.

The extra teeny-tiny restaurant and the kind of aloof service couldn't keep this meal from being seriously perfect.

3. Ruby's 

We had burgers here one night, and it was another teeny place with a wait, but wow so worth it. One of the best burgers I've ever had. And, truly, a good burger is one of the reasons I stopped being a vegetarian. I LOVE A GOOD BURGER.

4. McSorley's Old Ale House

This is obviously not a great eat, but it was such a fun bar! You order just light or dark (and you get two small pints for something like $5) and you also get a dose of history as you sip because it's one of the oldest bars in NYC. 

5. The Wayfarer

We wanted breakfast our last morning and basically walked in circles until we found something slightly well-rated on Yelp. This was such a surprising find. The pancakes were incredible, and the Mediterranean scramble I had was really delicious too. 

(I've been to New York a dozen times. Here are a few favorites from previous trips: Sugar Sweet Sunshine, Locanda Verde, and a few more suggestions.)

Hello, Goodbye

The break-neck speed that time seems to tumble by the first few years of having a child can fool us (certainly fooled me) into forgetting there's also so much routine to our crazy lives. 

Kyle's been at the same daycare since he was five months old. We've been in the same house since about then, as well. We take the same drive to school, and we take the same drive home. He's had the same best buddy since around then, and we see him at soccer practice and swim lessons and at parks when it's not a million degrees outside. 

He's hit so many milestones--crawling, walking, talking, sleeping through the night, moving out of his crib, writing his full name, riding a bike, and way back in the day my personal favorite, putting his pacifier back in his mouth himself--that life feels like it's always changing. Yet he's up at 7am every morning, still napping all these years later. He has loved Legos for years. He has loved motorcycles forever. 

He watches sports and plays soccer and though my memory is stellar, it gets fuzzy when I try to reach back into it to remember a time when he didn't watch sports or play soccer. 

We say goodbye to his daycare teachers and 7am wakeups and naps next month. He starts Kindergarten and, not to sound too dramatic, he starts his entire life. I remember my first day of Kindergarten. What I wore, where I sat, how long I wanted my parents to stay in the room with me (longer than they were able to). I bet he remembers all that too.

I'm thrilled for this new chapter, and I'm so thrilled for him. Kindergarten! School! He's going to have a blast, even when he doesn't. Even when days suck, he's going to be starting his beautiful life. I can't wait to witness it. I can't wait to watch him read and learn and add and subtract and throw Kindergarten-level fits when he's too exhausted to speak clearly at the end of the day. To make friendships and break friendships. To eventually fall in love, with people and hobbies and moments.

But it's a new chapter and with it the end of, truly, a five-year-long one that came before. That came first. His first chapter, closing.

Hello and goodbye. 

Hello.

Goodbye.

Wishes

We had a July Fourth (on the third) get-together, to watch our town's fireworks from our backyard (since we can see them from our backyard, thank everything) and, alright, so we could also enjoy this delicious sparkling grapefruit sangria.

After the fireworks, we pulled out some paper lanterns*, like we did last year, and had everyone write down their personal wishes for the rest of the year. We wrote down things like travel and happiness and babies (not me, promise) and health and more gratitude and also lots of winning lottery tickets. 

Then we lit them and let them go. 

It was a wonderful moment--well, once we got over the fear of burning our town down--to see more than a dozen lanterns, covered in wishes, floating away. Now, if anyone at our party actually does win the lottery, I sure hope their memory serves them well, and they toss a few bucks our way. 

And we'll do it again in 2015.

*We bought a multi-colored pack, and you can buy a similar set on Amazon here. 

Sponsored Post: Mondavi Wines and Summer Meals

I know there are Strong Internet Feelings about sponsored posts, and I understand them, truly, but I have a few strong feelings of my own and most of them involve wine. (And, alright, CW shows.) So when I was recently given the opportunity to try out a few bottles of Mondavi wine in return for a post about my favorite summer recipes (and how Mondavi wine pairs well with those summer dishes), it sounded like a fun project right up my alley. And, hey, I live in Texas. I usually only manage through a Texas summer with the help of a lot of wine and ignoring our oven almost entirely for dinners on the grill instead.  

(The grill that I should have probably cleaned before taking pictures of it.)

Anyway, we have so many dinners that we outsource to our grill during summertime, and a few of those favorites include veggie fajitas (we have no official recipe, other than throwing all the vegetables we've got onto the grill, though peppers and mushrooms are almost always a staple) and burgers (my particular summer favorite is a turkey burger with Swiss cheese, on a sourdough English muffin).

(Veggie fajitas!)

But, as I tasted the Mondavi wines, I realized that each of them--the Chardonnay, Scarlet Five, Cabernet Sauvignon, and Blonde Five--would all compliment my absolute favorite summer meal. Kebabs. The great thing about kebabs is that you can use almost any protein and almost any veggie and it becomes an easy, delicious, perfect-for-summer meal, made on the grill. And we always seem to make a ton of food when we opt for this dinner, so it's perfect when we have friends over. 

We usually use the same marinade for our kebabs, regardless of what we're actually grilling.

Kebab Marinade

• 1/2 cup worcestershire sauce
• 1/8 cup soy sauce
• a few dashes of liquid smoke
• 2 T of olive oil
• cracked black pepper
• a little Old Bay seasoning 

We marinate our protein--usually shrimp, chicken, beef, or salmon, cut into bite-sized pieces--and our veggies--mushrooms, peppers, potatoes, asparagus, onions, whatever else is on hand--in a bag for a few hours in the fridge and then place all the protein on their own kebab sticks and all the vegetables on their own. The protein (especially shrimp, of course) takes a lot less time than the veggies, so time accordingly! 

I serve with a salad or garlic bread or on top of rice. Whatever is easy and on hand. The thing about summer dining is that you're already suffering through insane heat (at least I am), so why not make dinner as easy as possible. Also, Mike prefers to manage the grill, so by "easy" I mean that I get to sit on the porch drinking wine and then I get to continue sitting on the porch when dinner is served. Easy indeed.

Depending on your meat, you can pair these kebabs with any of the Mondavi wines I tried--chicken with the Blonde Five; beef with the Cabernet Sauvignon--and it just makes all that work and lawn care and SUMMER HEAT more bearable. And, honestly, I have to give a special shout-out to the Mondavi Chardonnay because I don't particularly care for that kind of wine, so I put off trying it when my samples came, but when I did, I was SO pleasantly surprised. I'd seriously buy it for myself in a heartbeat, and it's a totally reasonable price point ($7/bottle). Seriously, I was in no way asked to say this specific thing about this specific bottle, but I genuinely wanted to. (And the bottle has since been fully consumed, ahem, so I need to go out and re-purchase.)

I'd love to hear what you're grilling this summer, so I can try out some new dishes. I've even got wine left over, if you want to meet me on my porch.

Oh, a couple things of notes about Mondavi: Mondavi wine is sold nationwide in every US state, and a percentage of each bottle sold between May - August is donated to Intrepid Fallen Heroes (up to $50,000).

***

I was selected for this opportunity as a member of Clever Girls Collective and the content and opinions expressed here are all my own.

ATX Festival: Take Two

Last year, I went to the ATX Television Festival--a festival created, you guessed it, to celebrate all things TV--and when I told people that's where I was headed for the weekend, I heard this a lot: A TV festival? I take it these people don't watch fan videos of their favorite TV couples on YouTube in their spare time and that's cool, takes all kinds, but perhaps these people shouldn't get a hold of my internet search history. 

It was an amazing weekend, so much fun that I snatched up my ticket for this year while I was still there last year. (Helped that I was practically a stone's throw from Chris Lowell while purchasing. Sure, I'll come back and gaze at the likes of you for a few days.)

This year, I took my mom with me because apparently being passionate about fictional characters is an inherited trait. We booked our tickets ages ago but we waited to book our hotel because we didn't realize that the DAMN X-GAMES were going to be the same weekend. In the same city. As soon as we realized this, our choice of lodging became a stupidly epxensive (but awesomely located) hotel or a slightly less stupidly expensive (but still awesomely located) AirBnB condo. We opted for the latter. 

We arrived in Austin around 5:30pm on a Thursday afternoon a few weeks ago, and had to pull our suitcases blocks to our place because so many of the roads were closed because of those X-Games. In Texas. In June. It was hot. 

When we finally pulled our suitcases to the front door of the condo we rented, the owner was waiting for us. A 32-year-old and her 65-year-old mother, sweating profusely. He said, "You're not here for the X-Games, are you?"

I don't know what about ME says "not in town for the X-Games" but it apparently says it very loudly. 

After we relaxed at our condo for a bit, we walked to dinner at Bess, a place I'd been dying to try for ages (despite the music on the restaurant's website, WHY DOES THIS STILL HAPPEN?) because I heard the food was good and also because befriending Sandra Bullock, who owns the place, through witty dinner banter is on my life list. 

Sandy was unfortunately not there, but we did split a bottle of wine, the burger, and then the beignets. All were amazing, just outstanding from start to finish. It was one of those delightful meals where the food and company and service were all effortless and enjoyable. And it was in walking distance from where we stayed. 

Let's back up a bit, though, because when I say the X-Games were in town, I don't think you quite understand just how close we were to the actual X-Games. 

So, good news, bad news. Good news! That ramp was only there Thursday, clearing up the traffic and road closures for most of our time in town. Bad news! The ramp was gone by Friday morning because they spent all Thursday night taking it apart with hammers and other tools that are not found on a white noise machine. 

We woke up Friday morning exhausted. 

Thankfully Austin has coffee. And Diet Coke. And more coffee.

We stayed just a few blocks from the festival's central hotel (the Intercontinental), where registration and a handful of the panels were held. In fact, everything is a quick, easy walk from the next place (all the panels, screenings, and other events were held either at that hotel, the State Theater, or the Alamo Drafthouse). It's one of the things I love most about the festival. Both years have felt small and cozy, almost exclusive, and that's half because I still don't think people realize just how awesome this festival is and half because the organizers are simply amazing and have figured out how to maintain that feeling.

Our first panel was Orange is the New Black.

We got to screen the season two premiere before the panel. I haven't watched the rest of the season yet but only because I've become a bit obsessed with MTV's Catfish. I can't stop watching when there's a new episode on my DVR, no matter the episode's premise, though I do want to shake each and every person on the show and ask, "HAVE YOU HEARD OF GOOGLE."

Anyway, sorry to get sidetracked, from there we basically camped out at the Alamo for the Bates Motel, Revenge, and Justified panels. My ticket to the festival was $99 and I think I would have paid that to watch that many awesome TV shows on a big, movie theater screen with beer and queso, but I also got to listen to writers, producers, and actors talk about their shows. Basically, the festival became worth it two hours into it, no exaggeration.

After the Friday panels, my mom and I drove to the San Jose Hotel (a favorite!), to watch an outdoor screening of Friday Night Lights.

It was such a cool experience, watching my absolute favorite show on a big screen with dozens of other fans (and some of the cast, including Tyra and Grandma Saracen!), but we got there at 6pm in order to get a parking spot and a place to put our folding chairs and the screening didn't start until 9:30pm. We were so tired, and though, again, it was really cool once the show started, I'll likely skip the screening next year if they have it. 

My mom and I slept in the next morning, thank everything, and then had breakfast at the Intercontinental before one of my favorite panels of the weekend: An Assistant's Tale. Such an impressive group of ladies, talking about their start as writers and casting directors and producers. I could have listened to them talk for hours.

From there, we nabbed a front-row spot at the Everwood reunion panel, and it was another of my favorites. The cast oozed appreciation and love for the show, and they showed clips and cast messages and behind-the-scenes video.

Chris Pratt FaceTimed in the middle of the panel. I mean, TICKET PRICE WORTH IT, SERIOUSLY.

After that, we headed to the Parenthood panel. We had heard rumors all weekend about so-and-so showing up here or Tim Riggins showing up there, so when there was a Lauren Graham and Peter Krause rumor swirling around, I kind of ignored it. BURNED ME TWICE ALREADY, TV FESTIVAL RUMOR SPREADERS. 

But then:

I'm going to put an unpopular opinion out there: I love Sarah Braverman more than Lorelai Gilmore. She's my favorite part of Parenthood. She's a far more realistic, relatable character (for me), and it was a treat to be in the same room as her. 

After that, I don't think I could have handled much more excitement (and I wasn't feeling great that evening), so we turned in early.

Sunday, our main goal was the Roswell reunion panel, and that was so much fun. 

Honestly, the weekend just flew by, it was relaxing and so much fun. I got to spend some quality time with my mom, while watching a lot of TV in Austin. All such wonderful things.

One last thing I love about this festival is the people who attend it. I felt like I became friends with strangers, in such a short amount of time, by just standing in lines and talking TV with them. No one shoved to the front or was rude or was anything other than cool, TV-loving people. I bought my ticket for next year while still there because it's now a place I just want to be every year. 

(And, hey! Tickets are already on sale for next year. You should be there too.) 

Kyle Quotes, Two

(Previous Kyle Quotes)

I'm sure you've got some Johnny Manziel opinions, but my boy thinks he's the most awesome football player there is. After finding out the Cleveland Browns drafted Johnny Manziel, Kyle kept saying: I can't wait to root for the Cleaning Browns!

Mike was taking Kyle to dinner, and he asked if Kyle wanted to eat at the restaurant or take it home. When they were nearly there, Mike said, "I can't remember, Kyle, did you want to eat there or take it home?
Kyle: Seriosuly, daddy? Did you forget to put it in your head?

Upon spotting a vintage Mustang pulling out of the gas station: Look at that fancy car! I wonder if it's Fancy Car Day.

Kyle, catching a glimpse of a boxing match on TV: Those best friends look like they may be arguing. 

Kyle was finishing watching a Curious George episode before bed.
Me: Bedtime after this.
Kyle: Do you think you might change your mind?
Me: No, sorry, buds.
Kyle: I had to try.

Our fridge went on the outs right about the time Mike left town. As I put Kyle to bed, I told him the ice maker wasn't working (he usually gets a glass of ice water at bedtime), but that we'd fix it soon.
Kyle: How will we fix it without Daddy?
Me: Hey, I could fix it.
Kyle: I don't think that's true, Mommy.

I took Kyle to Panera for dinner, and he held the door open for me. 
Me: Buds, you're the sweetest!
(After dinner)
Kyle: Can I stay up late and watch George tonight?
Me: No, not tonight.
Kyle: But I held the door open for you.

Mike and I spent our anniversary apart. I told Kyle I was sad about it.
Kyle: Mommy, you can just kiss Daddy when he gets home.

(Photo credit: Natalie Seeboth Photography) 

Two Hikes to Tell You About

Hiking has become our favorite weekend activity of choice. In Texas?, you might ask, but Texas has a seriously bad reputation for being nothing but tumbleweeds and flat landscape as far as the eye can see when we actually have plenty of hills! And plenty of trees! And lakes too! (We also have places like Lubbock, hence the reputation.) (Kidding, Lubbock fans!) (Except not kidding at all.)

So, anyway, we're determined to spend as much of our downtime--especially in the magical months we call April, May, October, and November, when we can actually stand to be outside for prolonged periods of time--exploring the different trails in driving distance from us. (See Possum Kingdom, Mineral Wells.) 

In the last month or so, we've been to two new places.

Lake Ray Roberts

This is just a thirty-minute drive from us, and we can stop for lunch on the way there or back in Denton (which has some great restaurants). Mike grew up camping at this lake, and we hope to get back to do just that soon, but the trails were fantastic for a day trip. And we've heard great things about the fishing too. 

Those gigantic sunglasses inspired by Elizabeth

Bob Jones Nature Preserve* 

This is a whopping ten-minute drive from our front door, and I literally had never heard of it until a few weeks ago. Seriously, my own home is a surprise five years later. This was nearly deserted on Mother's Day, and it was wondreful weather, and just an all-around perfect hiking day.

After hiking for about an hour, we were treated to a lovely beach, and though I saw a few too many beer cans for my particular beach liking, the breeze and the water nearly made up for that. 

Kyle also slept 2.5 hours after this hike (so *I* slept 2.5 hours after this hike), so let's stamp it the best hike there ever was. 

*There are some seriously awesome-looking programs, classes, and workshops offered through the nature center, if you're local!

Where should we head next? 

The Best Day(s) of His Life

I don't know if there's anything I've loved as much as Kyle loves motorcycle racing. Specifically MotoGP. (Okay, I do know, but they're all fictional characters from CW shows, and it's better I stop talking about it in public now that I'm 32.)

Anyway, I can't quite remember when his love first began. When he first started watching races, talking about the riders, reciting stats and numbers and exact reasons why so-and-so crashed. "He didn't lean enough to the right, Mommy. The corner got him." 

He began popping out of bed on Sunday mornings, asking if there was a new race on. If there wasn't (sometimes a few weeks pass between races), he'd just ask to watch another race over again. There are certain races I've seen a dozen times. Maybe more.

Mike races, and I first thought Kyle picked up this love because he wanted to be more like his Dad. Who could blame him? But as Mike reminds me, this kid knows way more than he does at this point. 

His love grew so strong that he got a Cycle World magazine subscription for Christmas and when a new issue arrives, he takes it to bed with him and "reads" it cover to cover. 

We watched the first race of the season a few weeks ago at my in-laws house and a few days later, as we drove home from school, he said completely out of the blue: "I'm just really proud of Scott Redding for coming in seventh place in his first MotoGP race."

Uh, me too, kid. Really proud of Scott Redding.

MotoGP is an international motorcycle racing circuit. It's a seriously big deal, though most people have no idea what I'm talking about when I talk about it. (But, one of the racers is on the Forbes list of the top-100 most-paid athletes in the world. Big deal!) They only race twice in the United States this season, and once is the new Circuit of the Americas track in Austin. One of two tracks in the entire country and it's in driving distance! Meant to be, I'd say. This is my son's DisneyWorld and Christmas and about 100 other awesome things all rolled into one. 

So, yeah, I bought three tickets like they were shoes, like they were bottles of champagne. I bought them with pure glee. Being a mother has changed me in really strange, beautiful ways.

The race was this past weekend.

It was one of the best weekends I can remember, and I like to think it was one of the best weekends Kyle can remember either. 

Funny story about his red Marc Marquez (Kyle's favorite rider and the winner in Austin!) t-shirt. We bought it for him Sunday morning, in a vendor tent at the track. We handed it to him to hold as we paid, and before we knew it, he began taking his other shirt off to change right there in the middle of everything. My shy kid is sometimes the absolute opposite of shy, kind of like how his shy mother sometimes loves to sing karaoke. 

I mentioned to someone recently just how much he loves motorcycles and racing and MotoGP, and they kind of sucked in air and said, "But doesn't that make you nervous?"

Well, sure, if he wants to ride one day, that'll probably give me a fresh set of things to worry about on top of the million things I already do. It's safe compared to riding a bike in traffic but a lot less safe than, say, writing or reading or some dozen other things I think would make for fine hobbies. Why not read a few blogs, Kyle! 

But I want him to be happy and full more than I want him to ease my worry. I want him to love something one day as much as he loves MotoGP now. If it keeps on being the same thing, I'll be thrilled. 

I really will.

February 5th

Five is my favorite number. It has been for as long as I can remember.

Kyle was born on February 5th. Five years ago today.

I actually wanted him to be born on February 3rd because I was born on January 3rd and Mike was born on October 3rd, and I loved the idea of a family of three with those particular birthdays. I was induced (let's just go ahead and talk about that over drinks isntead of over the internet, okay?) and his birthday just wasn't meant to be February 3rd.

He was meant to be born when he was born. I believe that. As Mat Kearny has reminded me, February 5th, a moment like a poem.

This kid is undeniable.

I have always wanted to be a mom. I was naming my kids on the playground in elementary school. I've been dreaming about a little kid ever since I was a little kid. But my dreams were never big enough for Kyle. 

He outgrew my dreams the moment they handed him to me. That perfect, calm, cold February evening. Hours of labor, minutes of pushing, they put him on my chest, 6:32pm on February 5, 2009 and my very first thought was: 

"He's more beautiful than I ever dreamed he could be."

I could chalk that moment up to hormones or biology and I'd probably be right, but every time I've looked at Kyle since I've thought "He's more beautiful than I ever dreamed he could be."

I wish I could go back to myself at 10 or 15 or the broken age of 18 or the fuzzy age of 21 and see what I was doing on February 5th. That day meant nothing to me then, and it's my favorite day of all days now.

February 5th.

When I was in high school, I got to visit New York City as part of a drill team dance trip. I danced in the Macy's Thanksgiving Day Parade (NSync was headlinging!) and I felt so lucky. 

When I was in college, each and every time I walked across our unique and special campus, I felt so lucky.

Mike told me he loved me for the first time atop the Empire State Building, and I felt indescribably lucky.

After marrying him and getting knocked up with his kid, we went to our anatomy-scan appointment and the technician pointed to the very boy parts of Kyle and I thought, how how how am I so lucky?

He wakes up so damn early every single morning, pads into our bedroom, taps me on the forehead and whisper-yells, "MOMMY, I'M HUNGRY AND THIRSTY." 

And I feel so lucky.

(Might feel even luckier an hour or so later but you know what I mean.)

(Though, really, when do kids start to sleep in?)

He's sunny and bright and beautiful and warm and funny and sweet and kind and hilarious and mine. 

That last one, it gets me every time.

Five has always been my favorite number. It's as if the me of long ago just knew. 

February 5th.

My perfect five-year-old boy.

All mine.

January Highlights

1. Mike and I went to New Orleans to celebrate my 32nd birthday, and it's going to be a tough birthday to top. It was a wonderful little weekend away. We ate unbelievably good food (August and Johnny's Po Boys, FTW!) We also enjoyed both a swamp tour and a cocktail tour. (I love this cocktail tour so much, I've now been on it three times.) More than all those things, though, we enjoyed naps and sleeping in.

2. Hosted a baby shower for Kristie! 

3. Spent some time with Mike's sister and her family. Kyle was spoiled with so much cousin time, he sulked around for days after they left. 

4. After a very fitness-light 2013, I started to regularly work-out again this month. I got back to yoga, tried a few at-home vidoes, and tested out my very first FlyWheel class. (I was offered a free month of classes to the two local FlyWheel studios, and I hope to write up a full review (+ a giveaway!) soon.) Let's just say during my first Barre class at the studio, I actually thought I might have broken a muscle. I don't think that's physically possible, but it was unfamiliar pain. I felt like an absolute rockstar after the class, but all broken muscly during.  

5. In addition to working out, I started the 21-Day Sugar Detox this month. I am only five days in as of today, but I'm a fan so far. I feel great, I've already lost a little weight, and it's kick-started a healthier year for me. (I just bought the cookbook, by the way, since it's got most of the information I thought I'd need.) 

Unpictured highlights: a happy hour with a friend who gets me, a movie and dinner date with my mom to belatedly celebrate my birthday, and our mini-Cowboy's Stadium field-goal kicker!

Ten

Mike and I became Mike and I ten years ago today. 

(Imagine a lovely picture from the last 10 days here.)

We're worlds away from that first awkward day of us, not knowing a damn thing about each other, about where we'd go, what we'd become, what little boy we'd make one day. I didn't even know his last name that day. (To my defense, it's kind of a tough one.) I also didn't know if he'd call the next day. Though I knew I wanted him to.

He did.

Happy you-no-longer-celebrate-it-though-I-still-write-sappy-blog-posts-about-it anniversary, Michael! Thanks for calling me the next day and for giving me your last name a few (hundred) days after that. 

Best tens years of my life.

One of the best weekends of my year

I can't imagine finishing the year without writing about a trip I took in September, a trip to Kansas City to celebrate my sweet mom's 65th birthday. (Feel free to gush over how good she looks in the comments. I totally agree with you.)

We'd been planning this trip for years, no exaggeration, which is actually the way I prefer to plan most trips. (I randomly call Natalie to talk about our 2018 Friendiversary. I'm thinking Nashville or San Diego.) My mom was raised in Kansas City, and I'd never been. A milestone birthday felt like the perfect excuse to pack a bag, get in the car, and celebrate my favorite lady.

There was one glorious, perfect catch to all the fun we had planned for so long. My sister was coming too, but my mom had absolutely no idea. See, we planned and plotted and lied and schemed and then LIED SOME MORE because my mom's one true wish was having the three of us together and we couldn't give her that gift without making her sweat a little for it. We told my mom that my sister had a very pressing work deadline, and it was around her own birthday and her husband had big plans to celebrate and she just couldn't possibly make it, no matter how happy it would have made my mom to have us all together. LIES ALL LIES. She bought a plane ticket and met us in Kansas City, and the surprise was a highlight of my entire life.

(It was so very difficult to drive eight hours to KC with my mom, without ruining this huge surprise. I deserve a trophy.)

We stayed at the lovely and delightful Southmoreland on the Plaza in Kansas City (side note: I'd recommend this place to anyone, anytime, it was so absolutely perfect and charming and also in walking distance from the town's plaza) and they happen to have a fun happy hour every afternoon around 4:30pm or so. I convinced my mom to sit outside on the deck around that time on the day we arrived, knowing Rachel was on her way from the airport (my texts to Rachel were all a lot like this: "WHERE ARE YOU, ARE YOU CLOSE, HOW CLOSE?" "I'm two miles closer than when you texted two minutes ago." I was excited, what can I say!). Anyway, I told my mom the staff was going to bring our wine after it chilled, and then I plotted with the staff to have Rachel deliver the wine herself, as soon as she arrived.

I didn't want my mom to see Rachel walk out, so I tried to distract her with very interesting conversation. Unfortunately, I couldn't think of any interesting conversation TOPICS, very bad timing on my brain's part, so I brought up the one topic I knew my mom would be willing to engage in: PRINCESS DIANA. Seriously, the only person my mom loves more than Adam Levine is Princess Diana. "So, how old were Diana's boys when she died?" This is a very strange quesiton for anyone to ask ANYONE on a girl's weekend, but my mom didn't bat an eye. She answered, quickly, as Rachel walked out with our wine.

(I can now say with much confidence that I can con my mom into anything because I was acting so ridiculous and so sketchy and going in and out and taking phone calls and texting and blaming it all on "oh, gosh, I have to take this work call INSIDE, AWAY FROM YOU" and TALKING ABOUT PRINCESS DIANA'S DEATH and she had absolutely no idea anything was up. She didn't suspect a thing. My sweet mom.)

Oh, it was so wonderful.

We've had our times, the three of us. Crying, screaming, clawing, angry times. We've hated and hurt, and I often wondered if there would be anything on the other side of all that dark stuff. Would we ever sit around a table, just us three, sharing drinks and smiles and laughs and love? This trip was our answer. We would. 

It was perfect. 

(Okay, the Aggies lost to Alabama while we were there -- I teared up at the dinner table and my mother and sister lost like half the respect they had for me -- so we'll call the weekend as near to perfect as you can possibly get when your football team loses a huge game.)

I think we need to do this again, just the three of us. Maybe for my 35th birthday, which is in three short years.

I better start planning.

A belated Blathering recap

I've written about the Blathering before (a blogging/social media meet-up that happens once a year in a different city), which is why I was in Charleston earlier this month. This was my fourth Blathering, and every year has been more good than bad for me. That's enough to keep me organizing, keep me coming back. Often a lot more good than bad. I mean, why else do it? It can't be perfect, it can't be stress- or drama-free, but it has to be mostly enjoyable right? I agree. 

This year, though?

This year was practically perfect. 95% good to the 5% bad, and the bad really only consisted of giant palmetto bugs (THOSE ARE ROACHES, NO MATTER HOW CUTE A NAME YOU GIVE THEM, SOUTH CAROLINA) and the weekend having to end. Oh, and the one time I dropped a tray of food in the hotel parking lot. Oops! 

I don't know if it was the desperate need for a girl's weekend away, the charming city of Charleston, the smaller group this year, all of us being at the same hotel, the more casual events, all those biscuits I ate. (Damn, SC, you know how to make a biscuit.) A combination, I'd guess. It was just a really lovely weekend.

I've had a stressful year. So stressful that I got a little weepy on Saturday night while lying in bed with my roommates. Caitlin gave me a hug, while I sat there and sniffled, and I think I unloaded on two trusted friends like that because Charleston was the exact opposite of all those stressful feelings. It was the exhale to so many tightly-wound days, the warm hug to feeling misunderstood so often. It was laughter and relaxation, two things I don't think you can ever have too much of and two things I'm having to really seek out these days. Every time I laughed, I wanted to keep laughing. I stayed up until 2am (MULTIPLE NIGHTS, OMG, I'm still so tired almost a month later) because I couldn't get enough laughter. I couldn't get enough of these ladies. I was ready to get home, always am, but I could have had a week with this group and still felt warm and happy and content. 

We're heading to Seattle next (no dates chosen yet) and I hope you can make it. 

Thank everything for people with good cameras and the ability to use them

Kyle's soccer coach's wife took this picture at his first game of the season. He had just scored a goal, turned and pointed right at Mike. She thought we'd want to have it.

She was right.

Las Vegas, 2013 Edition

I have a theory. Okay, it's less of a theory than just a two-sentence opinion. I think you either love Vegas or you hate Vegas. You either can't wait to plan your next trip to the Strip or you would be fine never again seeing that much neon. 

Mike and I live firmly in the first camp.

It's not that I don't get why some might hate it. It's A Lot and it's dirty and it can be expensive (meals, more than anything else) and if you don't gamble, you have to walk through miles of casino to get to things you might actually enjoy (like expensive meals!) and, wow, is everything so spread out, your feet will hurt like hell on DAY ONE. No matter what you actually do that day.

Not to mention it's like 113 degrees half the year. 

Or all the people in ill-fitting clothes. I swear, 75% of people wearing ill-fitting clothes in this world are wearing them in Vegas.

But, it's just a place we love. We do like to gamble, we love so many of the meals we've had there, we love all the lights and attractions and people watching (best people watching, like ever) and every show we've seen has been incredible and, oh, bottomless mimosa buffets are my jam. We like it! It's our kind of place.

We took my in-laws early last month for a quick, three-night, four-day visit, and I haven't shared anything about that trip here yet.  

It was a low-key trip (see: traveling with my in-laws), and there was not a single night we were in bed later than 11pm or a single morning we were up later than 8am (one morning was 6:30am!), but we still had so much fun.

Lame adult fun but fun nonetheless.

We got in at 8:45am on Saturday morning, so we had our rental car (more on that later) and were at our hotel, checking our bags, by 10am. We went straight to The Buffet at Wynn, what we heard was the best buffet in Vegas. It was an hour wait, so I was hoping the buffet would offer back rubs or free drinks or SOMETHING but, no. Still! It was delicious! Better than the Bellagio, where we usually hit up the buffet at least once, but the Bellagio (if memory serves) is a little cheaper.

After that, we walked around a few more hotels before going back to our hotel (the Monte Carlo, which is where we'll stay from here until forever because it's affordable, nice, and centrally located) for naps. You may ask what we had done so far that day to warrant a nap, and I will say NAPS ARE ALWAYS A GOOD IDEA. 

After naps, we got fancied up (see: took showers) for Zarkana at Aria.

We've seen three Cirque du Soleil shows (O, Zumanity, and this one), and Zarkana might actually be my favorite. Just incredible.

We had Fat Burger for dinner after the show. Life was good.

The next morning we got up and entered a poker tournament at our hotel (a one-table poker tournament, so basically a home game) and after that we . . . uh . . . I kind of don't remember. It's been over a month! This is why you write blog recaps of your trips immediately upon returning home, kids. 

Oh! I remember now. We went to downtown Las Vegas, to visit the Golden Nugget, one of our favorite plates to play craps and poker. And the people watching just gets better down there.

Side note: Probably a good time to talk about why we sometimes rent a car in Vegas. Yes, cabs are a plenty and you can walk, but cabs add up (the Strip traffic is bananas and it can take 15 minutes to go a couple blocks), and we like to go from one end of the Strip to the other and that's something like five entire miles. Doable but in the summer, it's also horrible. And! We like to get off the Strip. We go downtown at least once a trip and, as you'll see, we also get out of town to visit some surrounding sites. Our car was affordable (something like $120 for the four days we were there, and we split that in half with Mike's parents). 

That night we splurged on a delicious dinner at Stack (the Country Potato Gratin was a life changer). Our waiter's name was Kyle and, as I often do in this situation, I excitedly announced, "What a great name! That's my son's name." "Huh." The waiter was not my spirit animal, let's just say.

The next day we headed out of town to visit the Valley of Fire. Mike and I went way back in 2004, and we had good memories, so we thought his parents would enjoy it too. 

It was still beautiful. But, guys, so hot. Like the surface of the sun. We ended up hiking about a mile and it felt like a marathon.

After that, we drove a couple hours to the Hoover Dam. We were told we might see Big Horn Sheep on the drive, so I basically made everyone do nothing but look for Big Horn Sheep on the drive because that's just not an animal you see every day. We didn't see any but, truth be told, I don't think my road trip companions were as committed as I was. I heard a lot of unnnecessary chatting.

The Hoover Dam was great, incredible of course, but I do have to admit that my favorite part of the visit was making Mike stand in Arizona while I stood in Nevada. (Same novelty I enjoyed at the Four Corners.) 

We got back to the Strip and headed out for an exhausted, late dinner. We went to the Burger Bar, a place we'd been way back in 2009, and it was better than I remembered. 

That night Mike played craps while I read in bed. I know, you're totally embarassed by my antics. 

We had a lot of our last day to hang out, since our flight wasn't until the evening. We got up insanely early to be one of the first at Mon Ami Gabi, one of my Vegas favorites, and it didn't disappoint. I couldn't bring myself to order a mimosa or Bloody Mary at 7:30am, apparently that's just TOO early for me, but next time! I'm coming for you, breakfast drinks.

We played in another poker tournament that morning, and then I spent two straight hours winning money at nickel poker (and then another 10 minutes losing those winnings; DAMN YOU GAMBLING), before we grabbed a very late lunch and then headed to the airport.

Oh, Vegas. I can't quit you. I'm already thinking about my next trip to see you. (We think December 2014!)

Breathtaking

Sometimes my breath catches and it's not that it's perfect or that I don't yell about Legos all over my living room floor (why all over my living room floor KYLE?) or that I don't wish Mike would bring home flowers more often than he does for no greater reason than I just like flowers and I like when Mike walks through the door with them. My breath catches not because it's perfect but because it's good. 

My breath cathches because I know what not good love feels like and it's heavy and it wears you down and it's exhausting and on my worst day with Mike and on my worst day as a mom, it's just never felt like that, even when it's hard, it's never been bad.

It's actually been a rather tough year for me, normally tough (life is so very LIFE sometimes, isn't it?), but even when days, weeks, or months are tough, life is still good.

Life will always be good with them.

Things to To in Texas: Visit Revolver Brewery

My ladies and I had a girls weekend this past weekend many weeks ago because I can't get my act together to post regularly these days, but we headed closed to home, just an hour away. We stayed in Granbury, TX, which is a 10-minute drive from Revolver Brewery.

We headed to the brewery Saturday afternoon (after pedicures!) and while mid-July in Texas is never ideal for outdoor activities, it was SUCH a fun brewery that I'd recommend it to anyone, any time of year. 

It had so much to do, to pass an afternoon: take a tour, listen to live music (they have a schedule of who's playing on their website), play in water tables and on playgrounds (if you're a kid or if you've REALLY enjoyed the beer), eat some local food. You could also taste beer, which I assume is why some of you would go.

The Blood & Honey, a wheat beer, is what the brewery is known for, and it was so much better than I remembered when I tried it at a local restaurant, but I preferred the High Brass, a blonde ale. 

So, if you're in or passing through Granbury anytime soon, swing by this brewery. I'm already planning my return trip.

Throwback Thursday

Mike was a friend of a friend before he was Mike. I knew him for years before I knew him at all. We'd show up at the same place, every few months, and I'd sit a few seats away or stand across a room and never think of him at all. We were thinking of others, wrapping up loose ends before we could start what would turn out to be our lives.

There was a night at On the Border, eating crappy Mexican food we didn't know was crappy because it was the only Mexican food we'd ever had, and it was just six of us at a table, and Mike and I were two of the six. I didn't even look in his direction, didn't even glance his way. Kyle's smile was just a few feet from me and I was too busy drinking a swirl margarita. He left early that night. Our mutual friend apologized for his bad mood. Huh, I thought. I didn't notice it.

Then there was March 2003, when my friend bounded into my room at the sorority house we both lived in and asked what I was doing for spring break. She wanted a group to head to a beach together, her boyfriend, her, a few other friends, and Mike. "Oh, well, see... I kind of wanted just a girls trip this year," I said. She looked disappointed. Her group headed to Florida and mine to Cancun where the drinks were horrible, the sun intense, and my heart none the wiser. 

All those missed chances.

I like to think someone--God, the Universe, Kyle in a different form--was somewhere just laughing at us both. "Just wait," they were saying to themselves. "Oh just you wait."

I am intensely nostalgic, it's my way, and I could miss almost anything including all those single college days, poor and stupid and scared, when the boys were worse than the Mexican food. I miss all that growing up and slamming head-first into mistakes I'm sometimes reminded of during unfortunate Facebook searches. I miss some of those loose ends and the waist I had back then, too. But, mostly, I miss being on the threshold of the best in all my life. It was just about to start, right ahead of me, and I didn't have a clue.

I miss walking into that college bar, early December 2003, when I finally noticed Kyle's smile, drinking a beer and sitting on a couch a few feet from me. Huh, I thought. I see it this time. I wish I could stop time, right then, and slip that girl a note. It wouldn't give much away.

It would just say, "It all starts right now."

Babies, us two, in 2004

Things to Do in Texas: Camp/Stay in an Air-Conditioned Cabin at Possum Kingdom Lake

I've been wanting to visit Big Bend for years. It's in Texas, but it's something like nine hours away from us. (Texas is just too big, my goodness.) Anyway, that's...a lot of hours in the car. That also makes it tough to get away for a weekend without taking time off work. Hey! We're here for three hours! Time to go now. When I was lamenting how unfair geography is, Mike told me to pick a place (much) closer to home for a weekend away, so I picked Possum Kingdom. 

Possum Kingdom is a glorious two hours away instead of nine, but it's also a place I'd never been, and I really love adding new pins to our wall map.

We originally planned to camp, but then we laughed at ourselves because camping in July in Texas is a really stupid decision. We instead stayed at the Hideaway Cabins, and it was a great, centrally located place. The cabins were clean and spacious and the staff could not have been nicer. I can't imagine ever going back and not staying there again. Really recommend.

We hiked nearby trails both mornings. Oh boy, the trails were awesome. If you like hiking, I'd recommend Possum Kingdom for the trails alone. Kyle was a freaking champ for both hikes and the one Saturday morning was long and hot. I don't know if I've ever been more proud of him, quite honestly. 

Oh, and we all enjoyed a three-hour nap after our Saturday morning hike. Hikes, you're my favorite.

We also made s'mores, swam at the lake, grilled dinner, introduced Kyle to Friends in our cabin's living room, drove around to explore and spotted ELEVEN deer (Kyle kept count), and just had a really wonderful weekend. And we brought Molly. It helped her forgive us for at least some of the trips we've taken in the last few years without her. 

Some pictures of our weekend:

Kyle cried when we had to leave, it was that nice of a weekend. The kind of weekend you hope to have when you plan for it.