She Likes Purple

Eleven Questions

I began blogging about a million years ago on MySpace before eventually moving over to Typepad, and probably 75% of my early MySpace posts were simply those internet surveys/"memes"/questionnaires/whatever they were called that were all the rage in 2004. So this is kind of a nostalgic jaunt down blogging memory lane, thanks to Janet's recent post that tagged me at the end of it. 

(I love Janet's blog and always have.)

1. What is your favorite type of cheese? I like to think of myself as an equal cheese opportunist. I love all kinds, equally, but I've been on a cheddar kick lately. 

2. What are you excited about? My work trip to New York next week, the ATX Festival, our family's long weekend in Hollywood (Florida), our July Fourth party, meeting Natalie's baby girl in August, Kyle starting Kindergarten (!!), a girl's weekend in September, and a trip to Vegas in December. Then the holidays, my birthday, lather rinse repeat. Happiness is having something to look forward to or, as I translate the saying, a full calendar.  

3. How did you celebrate your last birthday? I said "To hell with finances and and nine-hour roadtrips, take me to New Orleans, Mike." He said "okay," which is why I like him so much. 

4. What is on your bedside table? Clutter. Change. My glasses. Rogue earrings. It's not the Instagram-worthy nightstand I'd like it to be.

5. What do you order from the movie theater concession stand? A Diet Coke. I used to half-love the movies for movie nachos alone, but adulthood introduces both taxes and wondering what's in that neon-orange cheese. In other news, adulthood is overrated. 

(And don't even start about what's in Diet Coke. I know, I know.)

6. Do you have a garden? What’s growing? Closest I have to a garden is a shoe garden, and wedges are growing.

7. Any summer plans? A trip to Florida, a big July Fourth party, swim lessons, more hikes, bitching about the weather. I really want to find a way to make it to California, to visit my brother. 

8. Which TV couple(s) are you rooting for? Damon and Elena, and Stefan and Caroline, and both are from the same CW show. I am who I am.

9. What’s the last thing you bought? Plane tickets to Vegas. 

10. What’s one thing you are passionate about? Just one? Impossible. But I just read/heard about the Qatar World Cup migrant worker issue and it absolutely disgusted me, so I'm passionate about spreading the word about it. Let's all boycott the 2022 World Cup, okay?

11. What are you grateful for this week? I'm grateful for both my mom and Mike's mom this week (and always, but I was asked about this week). They say it takes a village to raise a child, and I agree, but for us it also takes two incredible grandmothers. We're so lucky to have both our moms for all the obvious "they make it possible for me to go to a work dinner when Mike's out of town" ways but also for the "my son has a relationship with these amazing women" ways that are bigger than we even realize right now. Also, they do it with grace. My mother-in-law has never made me feel anything but loved and valued, and my mom and I cried and laughed just two days ago over The Good Wife and our own dumb luck for having each other. I'm so grateful for them both.

The rules say I must now tag eleven bloggers: Elizabeth, Christina, Hillary, Jess, Janssen, Maggie, Jen, Sarah, Jonna (hoping this will bring her out of blogging retirement!), Meredith, and Kyra.

I think I'm supposed to come up with eleven original questions but, nah, go ahead and answer the above! I'm most curious what TV couples you're rooting for.

Seven Quick (Jumping Back Into Blogging) Takes

I have vacation recaps to write and Pinterest projects to share and suggestions for where to eat in both DC and New Orleans, and I hope I get to all those posts before 2014. In the meantime, let's dust off this blog. Seven quick (okay, not quick at all) takes...

1. Last week (wait, week before last...April you are so nuts), Molly's eyes swelled up and got a little goopy. At first, we thought it was just allergies, but then we realized she had also stopped eating and wouldn't take a treat. (Molly is like her mother. She will always take a treat.) Turns out, she had a severely abscessed tooth that had infected her nasal passages and was causing her eyes to swell. She is, thankfully, nearly good as new after a round of antibiotics and pain killers and shouldn't need surgery. Phew!

It really sucked, though, during the time we weren't quite sure what was wrong with her. Molly is usually fairly healthy. I mean, she's given us a scare or two before, sure, but it had been awhile. It was this weird wake-up call that our girl is nearly 10 and she's not exactly facing more years ahead of her than are behind her. 

When the vet went over our options with Mike, she mentioned that if the antibiotics didn't work, surgery to remove the tooth would be necessary and it would be expensive (MANY THOUSANDS OF DOLLARS EXPENSIVE). We don't have a budget item for Very Expensive Pet Surgeries, but when Mike talked to me about it, it was just a given we'd figure it out. She's our girl.

She's a dog, yes, but she's also Molly. Molly! I've loved her for as long as I've loved Mike. While she can be pretty irritating on a day-to-day basis (she's the neediest living thing in my house), this was a reminder that she is absolutely part of our family. 

Again, she's feeling much better. She probably wishes she had pulled these shenanigans years ago because we've been giving her cheese on a nightly basis, and we don't protest at all when she worms her away into our bed at night. 

So many of my friends (online and off) sent out love to her, after I mentioned what was going on, and it meant the absolute world to me. Seriously, thank you so much if you were one of those people sending warm thoughts to our girl.

She's doing so much better, she's practically skipping.

2. Have I talked yet about Justified? Well, I fell down a Justified-sized hole on Amazon Prime a few weeks ago and basically watched the entire series in something like two weeks. You'd be disgusted if you weren't so impressed, right? (Or maybe you're just disgusted...)

At first I was hesitant to start this show because I was (foolishly) led to believe there are no love stories, and I'm a girl who really prefers her TV shows to have a love story or two. But, 1) there totally are and 2) who really cares when Timothy Olyphant is wearing that cowboy hat so well throughout the series.

I'm all caught up in time...to wait a year for the next season! Cable TV seasons routinely break my heart.

3. I hesitate to declare this here because I've been doing it for a WHOPPING two days, but I've finally started my 30-Day Shred Challenge. That would be 30-straight days of doing (level 1, I'm not insane) the 30-Day Shred. This is such a quick and effective work-out, and a few Twitter friends are tackling the challenge with me. Want to join us?

4. I read this beautiful post about Holly's grandmother who recently passed away, and besides being reminded that Holly talks about love and family and nostalgia better than anyone, I was also struck that I won't ever be able to write a similar post about either of my biological grandmothers. 

This makes me sad, on a basic that-kind-of-stings level, but right after that thought struck me, it occurred to me that Kyle will be able to write something that heartfelt one day (if writing becomes one of his things) about either of his grandmothers. Kyle is such a lucky boy, for a million reasons, but the relationship he has with both of his grandmas (Nana and Mia, as he calls them) is near the tippy-top of the list. I've said this before and I'll say it dozens more times, but the fact that he has this beautiful, special, unconditional thing with them both, something I never had, is one of my favorite ways we're rewriting history together.

5. This feels like a very silly thing to mention, but I am trying to fill a list here. I made some small edits to this site all on my very own, so I'm basically a web designer now (ha). I added new social media buttons, new "top post" pictures (right-hand sidebar), new links, etc. Just messing around a little bit, but enjoy if you...enjoy sidebar badges and those kinds of things. 

6. We're debating taking Kyle camping for the first time this year. We need to make this decision pretty much immediately because Texas is going to get really hot in about two weeks. We'd just drive up to Oklahoma for the night, no big deal, and I think Kyle would love it. I mean, he's in such a fun stage, where everything new is So! Much! Fun! Mike really likes camping, too, and I really like when they do outdoorsy stuff together and leave me in peace to read, so it kind of works out for all of us. Last time Mike and I went camping, there was a burn ban, so we "camped" while eating dinner in nearby restaurants. That felt a little fraudy. Anyway, I'll keep you posted on our camping plans as I'm sure you're on the edge of your "WILL THEY CAMP?" seats. 

7. Speaking of Kyle, age four has been a lot of fun so far. I loved age two (so much), and still loved age three (though will readily admit that, oh boy, do you have to pay attention when parenting a three year old--they will take a mile if you give them half a centimeter), so I was a little nervous about age four. But, regardless how hard age four can be (friends start to mightily influence other four year olds, unfortunately, wiping away ALL MY HARD PARENTING WORK IN ONE AFTERNOON), the age is just so HILARIOUS. He says the funniest damn things. He has said in the course of a week, "Slip me some skin, Mommy," and "Oh phooey! Phooey is my new word, Mommy." He spells words and can read a little bit and I'm amazed anew that I get to hang out with this kid. He's my son! It's very delightful every time I remember that.

I've figured out that babies just aren't my jam. I love babies! I especially love snuggling your babies and just...passing them back to you when they show the slightest sign of being unhappy about something. But toddlers? Then kids? Oh yeah. They're my speed. 

I remember when Kyle was between one and two, maybe 15-16 months or so, and the weekends were kind of brutal. One, Mike worked weekends back then so it was just my boy and me, filling up two straight days, and I'd be so relieved by Sunday evening, which is a hard thing to confess. I was just so exhausted and he wasn't quite talking yet but he needed EVERYTHING and I couldn't sit until he went to bed. Now, we watch The Voice and he helps me cook and he makes me laugh EVERY SINGLE DAY and he asks me questions about geography and dinosaurs and stuff I really like answering. So much better than angry pointing, like he did back when.

Anyway, the other day he was looking at a picture of my mom and me from when I was in college and if there's ever a picture of me that he's not in, he assumes he was in my tummy. "Is that when I was in your belly?" "No, actually, that was before you were in my belly. That was even before I knew daddy!" He did not understand. He looked at me like I was nuts. Before him? BEFORE? No such thing. He finally said, "Oh, I must have been sleeping."

He walked off, cool kid that he is, with his hands in his pockets, and I thought to myself: I'm just so glad you showed up.

I'm so glad we're here.

Pinterest Challenge: Extended

Janssen (one of my absolute favorites) extended a challenge to choose a few things from our respective Pinterest boards to attempt to finish over the next six weeks or so. A Pinterest Challenge! Six things = 1 pin a week. That's mighty ambitious, well of me, but I'm still excited to see how it goes.

The Pins I've Chosen

1. Beer Biscuits with Spicy Meyer Lemon Butter. I think I'll add these to our Easter brunch menu. 

2. I'm planning to host a champagne dinner in a couple months and, hey!, I already have invitations for it. I'll practice some fancy handwriting on those. 

3. For ages, I've wanted to make a viewfinder for Kyle, to remember a special event or occassion. I finally found this how-to that seems to promise it can be relatively easy and affordable to make a viewfinder. Let's hope that's true. I'll make a viewfinder of our California/Disneyland trip. 

4. I've wanted a pair of Kendra Scott earrings for a while now, and I think it might be time to break down and splurge on myself. Hopefully I can find a coupon code. (Wait, do you have one?) 

5. It seems fitting that in a Janssen-inspired challenge I choose a Janssen-inspired pin. A Healthy Chocolate Peanut Butter Smoothie. 

6. Spraypaint a few of my Mason jars gold, for storing fun things. 

Until Next Year

(I sadly skipped two days of posting while I was gone, but I'll make those two up somewhere along the way and call it even.)

The thing about getting 60 ladies together for a weekend of conversation and city-exploring at The Blathering is that not every moment can be glorious. Some moments can be a little awkward, some blurry from too-much champagne, some loud, and others a little isolating, but you just hope when you hit the road for home, the good moments amount to a whole lot. That they amount to enough reason to go back the next year and the next and the next.

Every year there is good and bad for me at The Blathering--although always more good--but this year was filled with the most good, and I loved it an indescribable amount. I'd go back tomorrow, if I could. (Well, maybe not tomorrow, I sure did miss my boys.) I loved the city, I loved all the hugs, I loved the laughter, and I loved that it seemed liked so many people around me were taking good away with them, too. 

(I also really loved that right before kicking off a fabulous Saturday night dinner, my Aggies upset Alabama. It was a can't-put-into-words awesome feeling. Only topped by one particular game vs OU in 2002 that I got to stand in the stands for.)

New Orleans charmed me within the first few minutes. What a city, that city. It had been 15 years since I last visited and I had never been without chaperones. Everyone was so warm, so welcoming. Like they wanted us to stay, to have fun, to enjoy ourselves. Have a drink!, the city seemed to say. Relax and have fun. Well, if you insist.

I have so many stories from my few days away, and I'll try to share them over this week. For now, some pictures. And deep gratitude for this event, for the city the event was in, and for the beautiful women who travel to it each year. Without them, there would be no Blathering.

I'm so grateful there is.

Next year we're heading to Charleston (dates to be announced soon) and I hope you can make it. 

Favorite Reads This Week

In honor of posting more, how about I post some things for you to read elsewhere? (It makes sense in my head!) Anyway, an ode to my (oh-so dusty) posts of the week and other awesome links, too.

Mommy Melee's "Please Remember These Things" -- Maria is one of my favorites. I wish I could make her write every day, but this post in particular was just so good. Beautifully written, completely relatable. I think that sums up a good blogger right there.

Lainey Gossip's "Nashville" recap -- I really enjoyed the pilot last night (did you?), and this recap touched on most of what I felt about the show. One silly random aside, there were a couple sweeping, FNL-esque sunset scenes and I felt weirdly territorial of those. Like, good try, NASHVILLE, I am enjoying you a lot, but you will never be Dillon, Texas. (I know, the latter isn't even REAL, it's AUSTIN, but WHATEVER.)

Hillary with Two L's "Will You Remember Me" -- From the post, "She is coming home next week. Just for a visit, not forever, but that doesn't matter. She is a forever kind of person." This was just beautiful and obviously made me think of Natalie. I'm not certain of much, not much at all, but I'm certain of Natalie. It's impossibly comforting to have a friend like that.

The entire Television Without Pity's Tumblr. Here are all the posts with a Parks and Rec tag. First, you're welcome. Second, kiss your day goodbye.

Rhi in Pink's "Getting in the Picture" -- Rhi's post is in response to this post, that's gone viral, and I love them both. Let me tell you a story: When Kyle was born a friend offered to take his newborn shots for free and they were fantastic, I loved them all, but I refused to get in any of them. I (thought I) was fat, I was exhausted, I was anxious, I couldn't imagine ever having an almost-four-year-old and regretting a lack of self in his baby photos. All I was thinking at the time was, Please don't scream through this, buds. Yet here I am, without a face in those photos. You will regret it, if this is you now. You will wish you could look back on your 27-year-old, new-to-motherhood face. Get in the picture, please.

Feels like as good a time as any to link to my recent Food and Style Lush posts, because they're both things I considered posting over here. Kyle's behavior chart, something I've mentioned a few times on Twitter (in short: it might be our best parenting idea to date, not that it was OUR idea or anything). A review of Eataly, a delicious gourmet market and handful of restaurants in New York, where I ate one delightful night on my recent trip.

I'm a book industry and book marketing nerd, so you might not find this fascinating at all, but as book readers, you just might. "Are Publishers Making a Killing on E-Books?" (Part one and part two.)

Any great links from your corner of the internet?

I love this

From bessie.viola's own love list:

I love time with my girlfriends with a bottle of wine, just talking and laughing until we have tears in our eyes. I have loved – loved – scaling the tasks of motherhood with these women.

I've only just begun to realize that my circle of people to love and trust and lean on doesn't necessarily have to include someone who makes me feel shitty or judged. That kind of seems like it would be a no-brainer, I know, but it's not. Not for me, at least.

I'm finally learning that I get to decide who is on my team, who will scale life, motherhood, etc., with me, and that team should only consist of really kick-ass people, who drink wine and laugh and love with me.

Your team should be similarly awesome.

Good friends

The talented and oh-so lovely Natalie stayed with us, too quickly, over the weekend. I got to take her for burgers and then we talked until 1am about friends, our kids, the internet, good husbands, marathons, Matt Damon, and so much more. She's a breath of fresh, talented, intelligent air, and there's no better way I can think to describe her.

Sunday morning, she generously snapped some photos of Kyle and me (she owns and runs Hazeled Photography), including this photo. She captured my boy, just perfectly.

Kyle took to Natalie right away and while I showered Sunday morning, he told her everything she needed to know about Cars and puzzles and his favorite books. As she was leaving, she told him about her family: her girls, her dog, her cats. "Oh, your cats will love me," he said, nodding confidently.

You don't need a high Klout score or sponsored posts or an invite to some mega-exclusive retreat to win at blogging. You just need to meet someone like Natalie.

Trust me.

Elsewhere: The Frog & Snail Society

I'm over at the lovely Frog & Snail Society today, chatting about my favorite kid's book (the same book I've already chatted about here, even; it's that good!).

Head over and read my write-up and add the boy-celebrating site to your feed readers. Because boys are pretty ridiculously awesome as every single mom of a boy knows.

Pinning, Lately

So, Pinterest, are you on it? (You should be, and then you should befriend me, so I can bogart all your awesome ideas and links.) What I'd love even more than the site as it is now, is if what you just pinned would then magically appear before you. If it's art, boom! It's on your wall. If it's a pretty skirt, bam! It's in your closet. If it's yummy homemade Twix bars, voila! It's totally in your stomach. The ideas and creations are something but making them appear in my life without any effort or money would really be something.

Get on that, you!

Anyway, if you're not on Pinterest, here are a few of my favorite pins lately.

These are lyrics from an Avett Brothers' song, "Murder in the City." I love it.

This is what I'd like to do with my race medals, when I have more than one, that is.

I think I've finally decided on something like this for over our couch, but what lyrics/phrases to frame?

I'm a fan of this outfit. Someone make it mine.

Slow cooker chicken tikki masala. Going on the September menu.

Funfetti sandwich cookies. I think I'll make these for Kyle's teachers next week, when he officially moves classes. (I DON'T WANNA TALK ABOUT IT. HE IS TOO BIG.)

I love the idea of framing a photo from a big day, surrounded by newspaper clippings from that same day. As long as you don't cut out clips from the crime section. That'd be less sweet.

A year of magical thinking. I shall absolutely do this in 2012. Remind me, though, would you?

Anything you've been pinning lately?

We have a winner!

For the champagne flutes I'm giving away.

Amy!

Who I know loves champagne, which makes me happy to give her these. Amy, I'll email you, friend, to make sure I have your address correct.

1000th Post Giveaway!

This is my 1000th post.

That is quite a lot of words.

Some of my favorite posts, in case you're new or interested or have reached the end of the internet and care to travel down internet memory lane with me:

My Love List
So Far, So Long
Secret Super-fan
Timeline Seventeen
There We Were, Here We Are
First Letter
I Hope I'm Wrong
More Than You
Keeping Up
The Year of the Rat
I Hope He's Found Her

***

I started a blog on MySpace and moved it over to Typepad on a whim one night in 2007 while Mike watched The Sopranos. I'm damn glad I didn't like that show and needed something to distract me from it. New blog tagline: Brought to You by Tony Soprano's Annoying Face.

Anyway, I don't know if you read often or just stop by every now and then or stumbled upon this space on this particular day because you were Googling random things about Veronica Mars but, oh boy, am I grateful you are here, no matter how often.

I wanted to host a little giveaway, to celebrate reaching 1,000 posts. I mean, that's worth celebrating, right? Having THAT much to say is a feat. An endlessly chatty feat!

What would be more perfect to give away than champagne flutes? My love of bubbles is well-documented (oh look, lots and lots of champagne), and even if you don't love them nearly as much as I do (how could you, really?), you should still have pretty glasses to drink from.

 

Two flutes, from Crate and Barrel, to anyone living in (or claiming an address in) the U.S. The bottle of champagne will have to be on you, but if you're looking for someone to sip with you, let me know!

Just comment below. You can comment with anything, favorite book right now, new favorite artist you've discovered, favorite Etsy shop, favorite thing you've cooked this week, something you're looking forward to, anything at all.

(I'll pick a randomly selected winner by Friday. Or Monday. Depending on how busy Friday shapes up to be.)

***

Last night, Kyle turned to me and said, "Claire called and is coming over to play and have juice." He was so sure that had happened, and when I asked him how she had called, he looked at me, annoyed, and said, "On the phone, Mommy." Like, GOD WOMAN, YOU ARE DENSE.

Kyle only knows Claire because A'Dell and I met through blogging.

I have a million other stories I could share just like that one. Stories that remind me why blogging is so grand. It's brought me good, good things, and I'll do it until the day it stops.

My Five Favorite Fabulous Bloggers (Well, Five of A Million)

Thanks to Trop50 for sponsoring my writing about fabulous bloggers. This year Trop50 is granting 50 Fabulous Wishes. Click here to enter for a chance to win $1,000 to celebrate a friend with a refreshing attitude about looking and feeling fabulous!

***

First things first, a little something about this post. I signed up through Clever Girls Collective to write this compensated post about five fabulous bloggers because that just sounded too good to be true. I already write about my favorite bloggers often enough, and I don't necessarily think getting a little money for a little something you already love doing is a bad thing.

(If I could just figure out a way to get paid to nap.)

One thing that was mentioned in the introductory email from CGC was, "How do you define fabulous, anyway?" And I loved that they 1) asked this and 2) acknowledged that the definition could very well change from person to person. I mean, one person's fabulous is another person's acid-washed skinny jeans, right?

How do I define fabulous? Extraordinary people who use their words, emails, notes, texts, posts, smiles, and truths to make things better. They are inspiring, but not necessarily in the vintagey-Instagram photo way, but in the "super decent and kind and hilarious" way.

***

My list!

1. Jonna. Are you reading Jonna? Oh, silly question, of course you are, and of course you know I am since I traveled to the East Coast and stayed with her for nearly a week! (I mean, you don't just up and TRAVEL somewhere and STAY with a blogger unless you think she's fabulous.) But why do I think she's fabulous? Well, a ridiculous number of reasons, but one that stands out is when Mike got some bad news from work about a year ago and it was financially tough on us and emotionally tough on us, and when I vented to Jonna, her response to me was: "Say the word, and I'll get on a plane and help you through it."

She meant that too.

2. Beth. I've never met Beth, actually, although that can't be right? Can it? See, she writes like she's chatting with you, over coffee (or tequila), so I feel we've been chatting for years. I just find her fabulous in that I know she's got normal problems and normal frustrations, but she's not trying to sweep those under the rug. She owns them, she makes jokes about them, and then she writes incredibly about them.

3. Elizabeth. I forgot -- until recently -- that Elizabeth wrote this post for me, as a guest post when I was out of town once. She's not only fabulous because she's clearly a fabulous friend, but because she's just Elizabeth, so grounded, so talented, so honest, and she grows tomatoes and remodels her kitchen and hosts a house full of crazy bloggers and still manages to run a site with me, and sometimes a superhero rockstar woman is just a great reminder that we can all do whatever we want, we just have to shut up already and do it.

4. Natalie. I've met a lot of bloggers and 99% of the experiences have been, well, fabulous, but when I met Natalie for brunch last March and then stayed overnight at her house again this March, I was struck both times by how unbelievably and incredibly kind she is. She's kind in a warm, confident way, and she's also beautiful and ambitious and talented (seriously, take a look at Hazeled, her photography site) and after all that, she'll offer you a bed to sleep in, a glass of wine to sip, and encouragement for whatever it is you're facing.

We live in the same state (admittedly, it's kind of a big state), but if we lived just a little closer, we'd spend an endless amount of time together, I'm sure (I hope!).

5. Hillary. I think Hillary is fabulous for a lot of reasons (she's cool, she's honest, she lives in Vancouver) but I just identify and relate to her in a way that's hard to describe. I see myself in her writing, and I feel like I really get her and what she's trying to say when she writes. (I've probably officially creeped her out by saying all that. Sorry, Hillary!) She also has great post titles, which is not an easy-to-come-by skill, you know?

***

I was asked to pick just five and that was not an easy task at all. I could have picked 50 more, but I went ahead and went with my gut and just wrote about the first five that came to mind. They are fabulous, inspiring, strong women, and, really, they should hear that as often as possible. 

***

Don't forget to enter the 50 Fabulous Wishes contest for a chance to win $1,000 to celebrate a friend with a refreshing attitude about looking and feeling fabulous. I was selected for this Tropicana Trop50 sponsorship by the Clever Girls Collective, which endorses Blog With Integrity, as I do. I received compensation to use and facilitate my post.

Post of the Day Revisit

One of my very favorite things of all time is my Post of the Day feature, the one that collects dust over in my sidebar. Post of the Day is usually more like Post of the Last Six Months. I always swear I'm going to be better and put up posts more often to spotlight talented, awesome writers, but I either read posts on my phone and forget to save the link somehow or I just forget in general.

I really am going to try to be better. I love sharing great internet gems with you, and I love looking back at what I loved years ago and I really love re-reading these posts from time to time and crying or laughing or just being moved all over again.

(Archives here!)

So, a few posts I've flagged lately:

1. Lemon Gloria's "Mind your own uterus"

2. Sweet Juniper's "Nostalgia, another name for Europe"

(Must share this paragraph:

This is what I find most interesting about nostalgia; not just the cunning gloss of hindsight, but the actual act of returning to a place. For all the value of going somewhere you have never been, I also find value in being reminded of who you were once and and how far you've come. Without this type of nostalgia, you can lose perspective on how much you've grown, or changed. Of course places change, always, and yet they don't change it all. And maybe too you've changed less than you think. Your wife still yawns in art museums. You still hold her hand along the Ringstrasse, even if your other one is already taken.)

3. Ramble Ramble's "In My Head, In My Heart"

4. Bird on the Street's "All I Ask"

Peace

It does not mean to be in a place where there is no noise, trouble, or hard work. It means to be in the midst of those things and still be calm in your heart. We think that if we just meditated enough or jogged enough or ate perfect food, everything would be perfect. But from the point of view of someone who’s awake, that’s death. Seeking security or perfection, rejoicing in feeling confirmed and whole, self-contained and comfortable, is some kind of death. It doesn’t have any fresh air. There’s no room for something to come in and interrupt all that. We are killing the moment by controlling our experience.

-- Pema Chodron

***

Thank you to everyone for yesterday, but thank you to Papagayita, especially, for this quote. It was just what I needed to hear.

Some of my favorite Lushy posts of the week

I don't do this often (and probably won't do this often) but the last two weeks at Food Lush and Style Lush have produced some really great content.

On Food Lush:

- Natalie's meal planning post is top-notch. Why meal plan? How to meal plan? How to make meal planning (if you already do it) that much easier?

- I'm making these chocolate crinkles this weekend! I can't eat them but if you live nearby, maybe you can.

- I'm going to buy bananas for the sole purpose of letting them over-ripen so I can make banana bread mini-muffins. Yum.

- Katie's applesauce cake with caramel glaze looks incredible!

- Nicole's guide to homemade pizza makes me convinced even I can throw out my pizza delivery standby numbers.

- Slynnro's perfect baked potato. (Turns out, I was making mine all wrong.)

On Style Lush:

- Splendid Littles at Target. So adorable I bought two girlie onesies even though I don't have a baby girl. Or baby at all! I guess someone is getting a gift soon.

- Man, I wish I could wear embellished headbands more often.

- I NEED this cupcake stand.

- Placemat to pillow.

Hey, if you have any links you want to share, go for it. I can never have enough web pages bookmarked.

Your Wishes

The other night, as I finished my list, I asked my Twitter family what they wanted to do in 2011, specific things that they were striving for.

Here are some of their answers:

I loved each and every answer.

What do you want to do in 2011?

Real Marriages: Featured Post by Slynnro

From a great post by Slynnro:

I don't ask him to do these things because he truly does not have the time.  I don't ask him to do these things because I don't think he should have to spend what little time he has at home in the evenings pairing socks and scrubbing the toilet.

But the fact that I do all of those things?  Well, it isn't nothing, and he?  He married well too.

I'm not in Slynnro's same situation, not at all, but I was in a pretty destructive relationship before meeting Mike -- the most normal and well-adjusted man I've ever known -- and that relationship was with myself, so I always joke that I'm INSANE and he's, well, NOT and everyone sort of nods their head in amused agreement, but occassionally I want someone to grab him by the shoulders and just say, "YOU LUCKY BASTARD."

Mike is a catch and he's not even a little bit screwed up in the head and I am -- always will be, which I'm a-okay with -- but I'm still a catch, too.

I also do the dishes 99% of the time and every now and then I look at those clean plates and think, "I WANT TO COME BACK IN MY NEXT LIFE AS HIM."

(Or Molly. Well, Molly pre-Kyle. She had it good back then.)

Anyway, go read her entire post. It's honest and great.

Real Marriages: The "Rules" for Surviving a New Baby

Mike and I have a few rules that came out of Kyle's newborn stage, and I think they're genius and everyone should know them. Now, if we only followed them regularly.

They are:

1) If your work schedules will allow, each person takes a weekend morning. We still do this, as best we can. One person gets to sleep in Saturday, the other Sunday.

2) Shift work. If the baby isn't nursing or there's expressed milk, break up the night. For a while, Mike was on shift from 10-2 am and no matter what was going down, those were his hours. I took 2-6 am and the same rules applied.

3) Our biggest trial-and-error rule: no one-upping. You may be a parenting rockstar but you don't actually win anything for reminding your partner you're better at something than he is. (Even if you are.) (Which, come on, you are.)

4) Take a job. I am the only one who has ever cut Kyle's nails after that first time Mike attempted it and there was much bloodshed. He haaaaates doing it and I'm good at it. Well, better, I should say. So I do it. Mike can get Kyle to sleep in five seconds flat whereas Kyle knows how to work me. So, Mike usually puts him to bed when we're both home. We have our jobs. We do them. We praise the other for doing theirs. 

***

I asked my Twitter friends to share their own rules. Here are a few gems:

  

 

Hillary may be childless but she's also brilliant. The phrase "but I did it last time" can only take you down one road and that road is called Fightsville. It intersects with One-Upping Your Way Into a Sexless Corner.

 

Such great rules.

Also, this one:

Smart woman.

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What are the rules you made during new parenting (or parenting a new baby)?

20 Fun Things About BlogHer '10

1. My roommate.

2. Meeting Padma Lakshmi. Although I was eating turkey sausage on a stick right beforehand, which Jonna made me stick in her purse. "WE CANNOT MEET HER WHILE EATING SAUSAGE."

3. The Style Lush happy hour. We're just so proud of that site of ours, and it was fun sharing that happiness with some great supporters and friends. (Laurie & Sara, I still owe you a drink!)

4. Getting multiple noise violations for merely talking. Jonna and I are just that badass.

5. Alexa's book party because of 1) Alexa, 2) Alexa's beautiful, exquisite, poetic book Half Baked, 3) CUPCAKES!, 4) wine, 5) the balcony with a serious view, and 5) every single person there, and 6) everything else about it.

6. Meeting Meredith. I turned to her at one point and said, "I just met you the other day but it feels as if I've known you for years." She's calming and smart and classy and she also has the most beautiful and well-behaved baby there ever was.

7. Having dinner with Maura, Kristie, and Jess at Casellula. The adobo chicken wings were as unbelievable as the conversation.

8. Sitting in the hotel bar until 2 am talking to Meagan about creating the life and job you want. Also, she's smoking hot.

9. Champagne! (Although I'd have much preferred if it hadn't been $14 a glass, my god.)

10. Talking about babies with Jonna and Holly for a good hour or so. Holly didn't run away screaming, so I now have even more respect for her than I did before.

11. Sipping drinks and talking fitness, health, and life with Jonna, Kristin, and Kristin's boyfriend Corey until the bartender pulled out the vacuum and turned the bar lights up.

12. Meeting: Sara (she's supermodel pretty, people), Kate (as is she), Alana (who I instantly loved), Anna (she doesn't bite in person, turns out), Linda (fucking hilarious), TwoBusy (he handled all us crazy women quite well, I'd say), Jodi (finally we met!), Sam (so adorable!), Pocklock (she looks damn fantastic for being 30 weeks pregnant), The New Girl (hilarious), Katie (so smart), Yvonne (one of the nicest people I met), Leah (beautiful, inside and out), Tracey (I worked for her for years and was still a bit starstruck), Amy (stunning), Miss Banshee, Amber (both were just so damn kind and nice and looked amazing), Palinode (not surprisingly well-spoken but also really wonderful and warm), Schmutzie (as was she), Annabelle (oh, just amazing), Jen L. (her personality was contagious) and Sarah (so sweet).

(And saw some fun people again: Metalia, Slynnro, Ali, Kristin, Regan, Katie (all too briefly!).

13. The sausage on a stick I mentioned above. It was surprisingly delicious.

14. Nearly flooding our hotel room an hour after arriving. We were steaming some of our clothes via shower steam and somehow the tub got plugged. Five minutes longer and we'd have some mighty serious explaining to do to the front desk. And possibly the floor below us.

15. Paying for panels but not attending a single one. (Okay, that's not fun as much as it is lazy.)

16. Speaking of, sleeping in until almost 10 a.m. each morning. 

17. The art gala where I got to see Natalie's beautiful photo featured (and Laurie's too).

18. Being pleasantly surprised by 99% of the people in attendance. Seriously, people were just nice and kind and willing to shake my hand or hug hello no matter my stats or shoes.

19. Two crab cake sandwiches in four days. Scale, go easy on me tomorrow.

20. The sweaty walk we took around Central Park. It's Central Park, you walk without complaint, am I right?

BlogHer was clearly incredible.

It got me thinking.

One day I'll hand the keys of this site over to my son and it will all be his. While I'm sure some words will straight-up humiliate him, I'm also sure some won't. I write for the part that won't. I write for those words -- however few they may actually total up to be -- that may help him, save him, make him feel understood, make him feel warm, make him laugh, even.

The beautiful thing about blogging is that your readers' words live on, too. So, one day I will gift these hundreds of posts to Kyle, and along with my words, I'll give him yours. 

I may have been a little nervous going into a weekend like BlogHer because of my stats or traffic or (lack of) business cards or any number of stupid fears that bubble up when popularity is involved, but those fears melted almost instantly.

Because I now get to say to him one day that you're all just as loving and supportive and selfless as he'll think you to be.

Thank you for being just as funny, kind, decent, and smart as I thought you'd be. I have friends in all corners of the world. That's a beautiful thing indeed.

Pictures here.

More about Cherie (and what she can do for you)

My trip to Portland (I leave tomorrow) hasn't been all carbs and champagne. Cherie is one of the most ambitious people I know, so while I've been here, we've spent a nice chunk of time hanging out in her office, plotting how to take over the world.

Or, more specifically, we've been chatting about her start-up web design and marketing company, C*Squared Associates.

I know Cherie's talented, but I had no idea how far she had come in the last couple years. She whipped up a new banner for my site in no time, and she helped me with a couple other projects I had on my plate. 

Because I not only adore Cherie, I also truly and wholeheartedly believe in her, I'd love for you to check out her site and her work, and if you need a blog banner, a sidebar graphic, a Twitter background, or a complete site redesign, even, please hire her.

And if you're in the Portland area, call her. There's no better person to talk creativity and life with over a glass of something bubbly.

(I'm back home tomorrow, and that's probably best since my waistline can't take one more day of eating Portland's fine foods and my heart can't take one more day being away from my boys.)