She Likes Purple

Where Do You Live?

I love traveling.

You know this if you know me. (Or have read this site for longer than five minutes.) I get twitchy when I haven't gone somewhere (anywhere!) in a few months. I'm up for any trip, too. Whether it's a crazy family roadtrip or a girl's weekend or a day trip to some no-name Texas town, I'll probably be game. My budget doesn't often allow for anything extravagant, but I do my best to travel as cheaply as possible. Travelzoo, my friends! Bookmark it today.

I have a folder in my email titled "travel" and another titled "restaurants" and I fill them with links to places I want to go, places I want to stay, and places I want to eat. I also have a spraedsheet with things I want to do and try in my own area. (I kill at parties. Invite me to one today!)

But, aside from all that crazy, one thing you may not know about me is how much I enjoy hearing about where other people live. I love talking about your hometown just as much as my own. Or, where you like to travel to or where you were born or where you love to eat. Basically new places are my absolute favorite thing right behind my son's smile and Tim Riggins' everything.

So because it's Friday and because I have a kind of stressful day ahead, do me a favor and answer me this (to give me some fun reading material to enjoy during said stress):

Where do you live? What's your favorite restaurant there?

(This isn't for stalking purposes, in case it's coming across that way. I mean, I'm crazy but not that crazy.)

What Would We Do?

Wow, thank you to each and every one of you for your comments and emails about my crazy idea. I've been thinking a lot more on this and also talking to a lot of smart people and making Google spreadsheets so, yeah, it's early and this could be a 2013-kind-of event, but I still have a good feeling about it. A scary, what-the-hell, am-I-crazy? good feeling, but a good feeling all the same.

I have added all of you who offered up your help to one of those aforementioned spreadsheets, so you'll likely regret your (too kind) offer soon enough, but I shall make it worth your while with ... gratitude? Cupcakes? Champagne? Something, for sure.

There's a semi-famous question I hear often, that goes, if you knew you couldn't fail, what would you do? I'd do a lot, truth be told, and one thing would be to do this, to figure out and fine-tune this cause and then throw a big, fun event to celerbate that cause. Maybe I'll fail anyway, we'll see, but you don't have to be good at everything right? (Oh man, I hope not.) You just have to be willing to find out, I think.

So, tell me, what would you do? If you knew you could do it?

Belated Anniversary of All These Words

I always, always, always forget this blog's anniversary, and I have no idea why. I love this space more than I can really say. This space that's given me Jonna and Elizabeth and A'Dell (whose new baby I got to hold tonight) and half the members of my favorite Book Club and a guaranteed dinner date in nearly every city I visit and advice and love and laughter and a million more happy things including two sites I may have started but I certainly don't carry alone. In fact, when people ask me for parenting advice I usually say "start a blog!" and then I recommend they send me thank-you notes in the form of booze.

Blogging is a gift you give yourself, if you do it right and for the right reasons. Sure, it'd be fabulous to make a zillion dollars all because you write about your fabulous life and family but that's not all that realistic. (Not to say I'm going to reject anyone who wants to give me that amount of money because they think I'm worth it, not at all. Email me and we'll talk!) But, you don't do it for the promise of fame or riches or you'll always be disappointed.

You do it because sometimes your husband forgets to do the dishes for the NINE THOUSANDTH TIME and you know there's someone out there who will commiserate with you. You do it because your son has colic and you're scared he'll always have colic, so you throw out your desperate need to know you're not alone (and you aren't). You do it because you have a past with hating your body and hating your weight and that hate manifests itself in all sorts of crazy, unhealthy ways and you want to shed all that pain and you only know how to do it through writing.

You do it because you're a mother, and because this is a role you both never knew you could hope for and never stopped hoping for. You do it because you want to remember every inch of motherhood -- the good, the bad, the horrible, the beautiful, the rest of it. 

You do it because you're a wife, and before the baby and the job and the house and the monthly mortgage and monthly menus, you were simply in love, and there will always be a thread of that in everything you do and everything you write about.

You blog because you have to. Your hands start moving before the rest of you catches up. Writing is in some of us the way breathing is in all of us.

So, yes, my blog's anniversary was a couple week's ago, and I meant to celebrate it with more than a belated, much-too-introspective post, but this is me we're talking about. I freaking master the belated, introspective post.

Do me a favor, then, in honor of my Big Fourth Blogging Anniversary: Who is the best friend you've made through blogging? (Feel free to say one or one hundred names. I never judge.) Or, the best thing you've discovered through blogging? The best place you've visited because of blogging. Something good about the hobby, basically. I want to hear it.

If you never comment (or usually don't comment), comment today. I'd really love that. And, more than anything, ever, thank you for reading. Today, tomorrow, four years ago, whenever, just thank you.

Delurking Day

I hear it's Delurking Day or something! I could be wrong about that, totally possible, but let's pretend it is. I'd love for you to delurk today. To show yourself. To let me know you read, however occasionally. It's been a rough, busy, crazy week and I could use the extra boost in my little online community feedback.

To make it that much easier, a question and all you have to do is answer.

(Fine, two questions.)

1. Best book you read in 2010

2. Best movie you saw in 2010

(Regardless, thanks for reading. I'm the luckiest.)

My Mix Tape, Take One

Jen L. asked "If you were to make me a mix tape of your all-time favorite songs, what would the first 5 tracks be?"

***

I'm not sure these are my five favorite songs, but they're the first I thought of, and I love them all, so much, in their own way. 

(And I'm making this a take one, so I can potentially fill the tape up with subsequent posts.)

1. "Uptown Girl" by Billy Joel. I used to sing this in the car when I was a little girl, at the top of my lungs, and no one ever told me to stop.

2. "18th Floor Balcony" by Blue October. This wasn't the first dance at our wedding, but it was the last. I listened to this song when Mike and I were fresh and new, coming off weeks of staying up all night, getting to know each other. I knew it could end -- plenty of good relationships do that -- and we both had all these plans that didn't include each other.

Falling in love tends to change a few plans.

Thankfully.

3. "Sky Blue & Black" by Jackson Browne. My father and I have an up-and-down, ebbs-and-flows, interesting relationship. One that no longer makes me sad or disappointed. But it does make me reflective. This song makes me think of him.

4. "She Likes Purple" by Wideawake. Come on, how can I not give a little credit to this song. It inspired this space. Without this space, well, let's not even think about that.

5. "The World Spins Madly On" by The Weepies. This last pick was tough but this song just ... moves me. In a way few others do. It reminds me, every time I hear it, to live. Not to think about living or to talk about it but to actually do it. 

***

What's on your mix tape?

I have some questions for you

1. Have you ever been to San Diego? Have you loved a restaurant there so much you need to tell me about it? (I've been, more than once, but only when I was a kid and back then we ate at a lot of Bakers Squares and Pizza Huts.) I'll be there for work next month. (Oh, are you in/near San Diego?)

2. Mike and I are going to Boston for a wedding this fall (hi, Heather!), and we're extending the trip just a little, so we can take that much-needed, long-awaited, just-us-two trip I've been wanting to take since before our kid was born.

We're able to take this trip because Jonna has been kind enough to offer us a guest room. I WANT TO KISS HER, SHE'S SO WONDERFUL. (The internet wins again!) Anyway, Mike's never been, and I've been for a total of like three hours. Any tips/suggestions/good food I have to try?

3. What's your favorite food blog?

4. Do you watch True Blood? Our anthology A Taste of True Blood is officially out, and I'm so proud of this book. It's got a fantastic cover, has great content, and I think it's a really fun read for fans. I'm not paid to say any of that, you should know, but I'm saying it anyway. If you want to buy the book, please do so for 30% off the cover price.

5. How are you?

Answer one or all below!

The question game: Feared perceptions

I mentioned the very first time I ever brought The Question Game to this blog that in November, when I was in New York for a book launch party, my company got together for a nice dinner and we spent a big chunk of that night asking each other random questions.

(I did this again recently at a bar with some friends. Much different questions are asked when everyone's drunk, as I believe Mike asked at one point: what reality star would you beat in an alley if you could?)

Anyway, one question I think of time and again was one my co-worker Adrienne asked back in November, and it's one I'm going to ask you.

What's one thing you fear people will perceive you as?

I'm afraid people won't think I'm smart or capable.

It's why I suck at hearing/taking advice, and it's also why on any given day, I bite my tongue on topics I'd really like to talk about. I never worry you'll disagree with me or find me obnoxious or too opinionated. I worry you'll think I don't know what I'm talking about, that I'm not smart enough.

It's why I shy away from a variety of topics, including politics, religion, the housing market, stocks, and so on.

Maybe I'll stop caring one day and just talk about whatever I'd like. I hope that happens. I'm working on it.

It's exhausting.

Anyway, what would you answer with?

Question game: Pieces of overrated crap

At MamaPop today, TwoBusy wrote a gem of a post on overrated Best Picture winners and pointed out how sometimes the Academy translates best to mean not best at all, not even good. (He did another version last week, too.)

I love this topic.

My favorite line from today's post was this:

"Look. I know that something like a billion people saw and loved Titanic, again and again and again. Here's the thing: YOU WERE ALL WRONG."

I hated Titanic. HATED. IT. How do you turn such a historically important event into a three-hour-long cheesefest? And how did James Cameron convince the world (and the Academy!) it was good? I was also reminded that it won Best Picture the same year Good Will Hunting came out. Seriously, if you've seen both those films and think Titanic is/was the better of the two, I may need a moment to say bad things about you behind your back.

But, seriously, I love nothing more than to talk about movies (or really anything that will allow me to use my Riled Up voice), so I wanted to open this up to you:

What's the most overrated movie you've ever seen?

Pizza

Come on, who doesn't like this topic?

Over at Style Lush, we're asking (and answering) the question: what's the best pizza you ever ate? It's in honor of my new favorite Food Network show, The Best Thing I Ever Ate.

I now have entire cities I want to visit based solely on a pizza parlor. Like Auburn, Ala. and Richmond, Va. Mike will be thrilled, I'm sure.

Answer here or there, wherever, but do tell. Can one person really have too many pizza places to try in a lifetime? If you said yes, we may have our first issue in this friendship.

First love

Kader asked, Who was your first love? How did it end? Are you still in touch?

**

I first saw him in my freshman Biology class, wearing a red polo shirt. I used to walk by his desk to turn in papers or ask questions in hopes he'd look at me, which he never did. When we ended up at the same party the next year, he finally looked. That was all it took. 

We were a wrong fit from the start, although when you're 15 and in love for the first time, you hold on for dear life even if you know you're holding on to the wrong thing. There was a lot of yelling, I remember that well, but how many teenagers know how to resolve conflicts maturely and discuss issues openly? So, a lot of yelling, insecurities, mind games, slammed car doors. It wasn't all bad, though.

Once, he wrote a paper in some class about his role model, and he filled two entire pages even though the exercise only asked for one. His mom showed it to me weeks later because he had written that paper about me. He wrote about what he liked most about me, what he admired, how he appreciated all I did for him. He said the very best things you can hope to hear at such a young age, things he so rarely said to me. 

We officially broke up over one stupid fight, but we'd continue to hurt each other for months, years even on some scale. He made me crazy, and I think I made him sad. We were a wrong fit from the start, but we slammed into each for years trying to make it work.

It never did.

I don't know where that paper he wrote me ended up, probably torn to pieces in some angst-filled fit. I don't think of him often, truth be told, and I'd be pretty stunned if he ever thought of me, but when he does cross my mind, I always always always hope he's met someone who's a good fit, who doesn't try to crawl out of her skin to be the person she thinks he wants her to be, who inspires him everyday to be the person he was when he wrote me that paper.

**

(I wrote a little more about him here and here and here.)

Siblings

Annika asked, "Have you found an answer to: Will Kyle have siblings?"

*****

The number of people who asked me at Kyle's birthday party when we were having our next kid: 3

My answer to all of them: I don't know that we are.

Their response: BUT YOU MUST.

*****

Months ago, we were in a store, and this blond, barely-toddling boy was cruising the aisles. He was beautiful. His mother yelled after him, and the combination of her tone and the words she chose startled me. It wasn't usual frustration over a child who cannot be contained (oh, I know that frustration well), there was something underlying, something that made my skin crawl. She rushed over to him and yanked his arm, and he didn't cry. He didn't even flinch. I wanted to walk over and scoop that baby up and never look back. I think about him a lot.

I think about him more than I think about any other biological child I may have.

I do this thing, maybe you do it too, when I'm conflicted about something. I ask myself the of-the-moment question and then answer it quickly, with no time to really think about things. This first, gut reaction is usually the right one. So, when I did this recently about having another baby of my own, when I asked myself, quickly, "Do you want to have another baby, Jennie?" I answered quickly, "I want to adopt some day."

I don't know if this is a ridiculous won't-happen dream or if this is more a realistic-but-tough desire, but adoption is something I think about a lot and way more than I ever think about getting my redheaded baby one day.

*****

You know how there's always something up ahead? When you're dating, everyone wonders when you'll get married and when you get married everyone wonders when you're going to have a baby and then at that baby's first birthday, everyone wonders when you'll give him a baby sister or brother? Well, those questions have always made my stomach turn because I've always wanted that next thing well before getting that next thing. Mike and I were together three and a half years before getting married, and I felt ready for the next step most of that time. Then, it took us a year to get pregnant. But, now, when people ask me the question about our next kid, I smile because for once, I'm not anxiously looking toward it or wanting it so badly. I'm right where I want to be and I think it's going to stay just like this, at least until it's time to go after those big adoption dreams of ours.

Besides, "just like this" isn't half bad.

Question Game: Reversed!

To inspire me with what questions I should be asking YOU in my little Question Game feature, help me out, would you? Ask me a question. It can be anything at all! I'm a pretty open book and that seems to be OK with those who matter most (see: Mike). Although perhaps it's less OK and more has-accepted-his-lot. I'll answer them all (within reason, don't get weird on me), in one way or another, and I'll pick one question to be the next question I ask you. It's a circle of questions, which pleases me more than you'd probably like to know. Seriously, sometimes I read Trivial Pursuit questions aloud, to an empty room, for the fun of it.

So, what would you like to know?

(If it's math related, go elsewhere. I can't help you.)

Question game: Best stateside vacation destination

This is the third installment of The Question Game (part one, part two), and I think that officially makes it A Thing on this blog, which is fine by me. I'd be a professional question asker if I could be, no kidding. Anyway, this particular question is an extension from the Writer Round-up at Style Lush from last week, where I asked both writers and readers to share their favorite stateside vacation locations. There are so many fun, cool cities suggested over there, by the way, that it'd be a wonder if half our readers didn't book trips immediately after reading.

I suggested Austin because Texas was grossly unrepresented on the round-up, especially for being so damn big and for (usually) having such tolerable weather in the non-summer months, but it's also got great food and good people. Go there, if you ever get a chance. My gut reaction, though, was to say Lake Tahoe, and I only resisted because California was the opposite of Texas. It was so well-represented, I'm a little upset the California State Tourism Board didn't personally send me a thank-you note on letterpress stationary. I suppose I could have claimed Nevada for Tahoe, but I got married on the California side of the line, so I'm partial to Tahoe City. It's beautiful, no question about that, but it's also laid-back, inspiring and has incredible food and year-round fun activities. 

(Lots of pictures here, here, here and here.)

(Shit, I was skinnier back then.)

So, what would you say? Although feel free to answer with any city, it's safe to assume that all the big ones are givens. Who doesn't enjoy at least some part of NYC or Chicago or San Francisco?

I'm dying to know, even though we've now covered travel pretty thoroughly around these parts. (I promise to ask a different kind of question next time.)