She Likes Purple

Some Good Things

1. I had a really lovely Mother's Day weekend and I hope you did too. Not only did I sleep-in both days, but Kyle was a delight from sun up (or when I got up) to sun down. Thanks kiddo!

2. Part of the weekend included an impromptu carnival stop.

 

We drove past and decided to check it out. While Kyle had a blast and we got to record his first ever merry-go-round ride, it was a hilariously creepy carnival. Basically the kind of carnival you'd find in an episode of The Walking Dead.

3. Speaking of television (oh, weren't we?), I'm on the hunt for some shows to pick up during the summer months. I have Southland in the queue, but anything else I should be watching? (You should know I like my shows to at least hint at a love story.)

4. I've registered for two half-marathons this week. One is the BCS half-marathon in December, in my college town, and we're making a mini-reunion out of it. There are also going to be breakfast burritos at the finish line. BREAKFAST BURRITOS! That's so much more awesome than the green bananas the Vegas half-marathon offered me. The other is the 3M in Austin early next year. My lovely fellow runners and I have already begun talking about where to eat in Austin after the race. I have seriously found my people when we discuss a meal eight months in advance.

5. While I haven't been running nearly as much as I should these days, I have begun walking with Kristie a couple nights a week. It's been such a lovely stress relief: walk a few miles, talk to one of my favorite people. Win-win! Too bad you can't train for a race by walking.

6. We're going to Oklahoma this weekend. We're heading north because Mike has a motorcycle race and since it's also our wedding anniversary, we wanted to be together. My grandma lives near the track, so we're making a family visit out of it. I've been excited all week until I realized it's Kyle's first road trip post-potty training. This should be ... something.

7. I've signed Kyle up for swim lessons this summer and the timing worked out so that Mike will take him. I'm sure I'll go to the first lesson to snap a dozen photos but I'm still scarred from the last time we tried lessons with him (what was I thinking taking an 18-month-old to swim lessons?), so I'm happy to pass the parenting buck on this one. I've also enrolled him in a Little Gym class this summer, too. Mike is worried I'm going to make my son's social calendar mirror my own. Mike has a reason to be worried this time.

8. I meant to turn this one into its own post because I suppose it's kind of a big deal, but I think I'll wait a few weeks to really get into it. So, anyway, I've become a vegetarian. It might feel a little out-of-left-field-ish, but it's been a long time coming for me. Again, lots more thoughts to come, but we'll leave it at that for now. (Bye burgers!)

What's good for you these days?

Race Recap: 2012 Cowtown 10K

I ran the Cowtown last year, and it's become one of my favorite courses, which doesn't make much sense because it's a bitch of a course with a few really stupid hills and one part in the middle where a wide road narrows down to a trail so everyone just sort of slams into each other. (I like to think of this particular part as the time I find motivation to run faster than everyone who is annoying me, though.) Also, this year the course was exactly the same as last year except for the finish line, which was moved a few tenths of a mile further down the road. I don't know how that happens either. 

But there's a steady crowd cheering, the course weaves the runners through a nice part of Fort Worth, and each mile is a little different. Also, plenty of water stops.

I didn't train nearly as much for this race (or the 3M) as I wish I had. Oh hindsight! You are so cruel! I told Kristie, when she asked if I'd been training regularly, that I wish you could count watching a pathetic amount of Sons of Anarchy as training because then I'd probably win all the races.

Unfortunately, evolution and science have failed me again, and knowing the intricate details of Jax Teller's tattoos and having just watched the season three finale TWICE IN A ROW the night before did nothing to help me across the finish line. 

I actually hurt my foot mid-run, either because of uneven terrain or needing new shoes or, as Mike so sweetly said, "maybe you shouldn't run the next race without training." THANKS BABE. YOU GET TO RUB MY FOOT FOR BEING SO SPOT-ON. It's feeling much better today, thank everything, because yesterday I was convinced I'd never run (or work-out or walk without a limp) again. 

(That's a little peek inside my fun brain. I hurt my foot in a race and five minutes later I'm convinced life as knew it is over.)

Anyway, my finish time was 1:16:33, so about five minutes slower than last year. This is the wrong way, I know! Oof! But, we have lots of months left in this year, so I'm still gunning for a PR time next 10K. 

Thanks to Kristie for snapping my finish line shot. She got a shot right before this of someone else entirely, thinking it was me, so I'm just impressed with her camera's recovery time. Or perhaps that's a sign of how slow I was moving.

After the last two races, I feel dusty as a runner and have some questions for the runners among us to recharge my running mojo.

1. I need new music suggestions. I tend to lean on Pandora a little too much when I'm running, which is great if the song that kicks on in my headphones is a good running song. Not so good when the song is a ballad and I have to fetch my iPhone out of my belt to switch songs. Any good songs you've been working out to lately?
2. Do you have a pair of running shoes you love? I plan to get re-fitted, just like I did last time, but my foot and gait seem to be relatively normal so, last time, I was offered a few shoes that would fit my needs. I picked the one (at the time) that felt most comfortable in the store and on the in-store treadmill, but I'd love to go in armed with even more information, if possible.

Finally, if you are a runner too, how funny is this shirt? Order by March 1st, and you can have it in time for St. Patrick's Day!

3M Half-Marathon Race Recap

I hadn't really run since my half-marathon in Vegas, in early December. The plan was to run a lot of January and, yeah, I just couldn't muster the energy or motivation to do it. I worked out often, but I sincerely thought I had hit my running wall. 

But, well, I had already signed up for the 3M Half-Marthon in Austin, along with Kristie, and apparently Kristie takes registering and paying for races seriously. As in, she actually wants to run them once she's signed up. I don't know what's wrong with her either. So I couldn't back out, even if the idea of backing out sounded really, really fantastic and the idea of shopping in Austin instead sounded really, really, really fantastic.

Kristie and I drove down to Austin Saturday afternoon, where we were hosted by the always-lovely Natalie, who I wholeheartedly plan to revisit this summer with Kyle in tow. It's a damn shame our kids haven't played together, and we're gonna fix that.

Saturday night we had dinner with a table-full of bloggers, all such lovely people, and I got this crazy idea at the table to someday have a Texas Blogger RetreatI haven't shared that idea until just now so all the other Texas bloggers may hate it and it could just be me in a hotel somewhere but, no worries, I'll just bring more books in that case.

Anyway! We called it a night early because the race's start time was 6:45. IN THE MORNING. That's the earliest race time I've had so far. I mean, early is early, sure, but this felt especially brutal. 

It was cold at the start -- 37 degrees, I think? -- but we didn't have to stand around long. We took off and the first mile was a bit of a blur. Kristie and I split around mile two, and I'm glad we did. I didn't want to hold her back and it was actually nice to stop and start when I needed to. 

There was a lot of walking. Oh, a lot. I decided around mile three that if I was going to get to the finish, I needed to enjoy myself, however much I needed to walk, and that's what I did.

{The finish line!}

I finished slow (2:57:27) but I finished with something much better than a fast time: a renewed love of running. Something sort of shut off in me after Vegas. That race just did not go as planned, and it was super discouraging. This race -- small and well-organized, mostly flat and on what turned out to be a beautiful day -- was so different from the nightmare that was the Rock n Roll.

I'm ready to get back to fun running, shorter distances and nightly runs of a few miles. I'm going to shelve half-marathons until the fall, when I have a cool one planned that I'll tell you about later. But I don't know if I'd want to tackle any distance without the half I ran this weekend.

It was just what I needed.

Remind me, though, next long distance that I run to take the next day off work. Ouch!

Giveaway!: "Will Run for Champagne" Running Shirt

After I talked Cherie into designing a t-shirt for my recent half-marathon, we decided to just go ahead and launch a little business together because why not, right? We unveiled Cherry Jean's site today! (Click here!) This is mostly Cherie's baby -- she's the real talent here -- but I get to pin my name to it, which I'll gladly do. Working with Cherie is one of my best decisions, no matter what we may be working on.

We hope to design more shirts and running gear, but it's also a company for more personalized design projects for the web and print: blog design, invitaitons, cards, etc. You can reach out to us about any design idea you have and we'll see how we can help.

I also finally have a place to talk about my business and professional ambitions, so I hope to regularly post on Cherry Jean's blog about social media, personal projects, and inspiring companies that are rocking it. 

For today (in honor of it being my birthday and champagne being one of my most favorite things), we have an extra "Will Run for Champagne" shirt to give away. We have in our possession a size M, but if you need another size, no worries, we can easily add that to our next order (it'll just be sent a few weeks after the M one could be). 

Take a look at it again:

And a picture of me in my shirt:

You want one, I'm sure of it. Comment to enter and I'll pick and announce a random winner by Monday, January 9th. 

Comment with: How do you hope to spend your birthday this year? 

Rock N Roll Half-Marathon Recap

So, yeah, this is overdue (and it's just a small part of my Vegas recap, too), and we may all be past the half-marathon chit-chat 'round these parts anyway, but it would be a very anti-climactic half-marathon training recap without the half-marathon race recap, I think. So, sit down, make yourselves comfortable, this may take a while.

First, Vegas is and will probably always be a favorite place of mine. I simply love a place that is all "hey, I am ugly and crowded and blinding and very, very drunk, and, FUCK IT, TAKE ME OR LEAVE ME. Also, here is an escort card while you drink your champagne from the bottle on the street." It's just so unapologetically itself, and I love it.

So, when I saw the chance to combine a favorite city and a huge life goal -- run a half-marathon -- and I wanted to go to Vegas to celebrate my 30th birthday anyway, it all seemed very perfect, and in many ways, it was. It was perfect that I got to run this race, after all this time, with so many people I love.

But, okay, let me back up a bit. The day after we got to Vegas, we headed to the race expo, to get our bibs and race bags. It was an incredible expo (best I've been to, honestly), and if we didn't have a show to see that night, I would have stayed until it closed.

Then came Sunday, and, OH BOY, was I nervous. I was nervous that it would be tough, that it wouldn't be fun, that it would be really cold or that I'd hurt myself mid-race or something else sucky-yet-predictable, but I wasn't expecting what happened.

First, we had to gather at our assigned corrals (of which there were 40-or-so, total) and we probably stood around for over an hour waiting for the race to start, maybe longer. I turned on "The Cave," right before we started inching toward the starting line, and I felt good. I teared up in anticipation of doing it and I felt, right then, that I was ready.

We finally got to the starting line and took off. Kristie and I had talked about walking every two miles starting at mile three, but we both felt great at mile three and kept going. The first 4-5 miles were on the strip, and it was incredible to see all the lights around us and hear the spectators cheering. I felt great, other than a slightly annoying foot cramp (maybe because of the cold?), but it wasn't anything impossible to deal with.

Once we got off the strip, the race started to feel less organized. The bathrooms seemed to disappear, the lights were sporadic, the water stations became more insane, and we decided to stop around mile 8 (still feeling good) to use the bathroom at a Burger King. Unfortunately, the lines weren't budging, at all, and we probably waited a good ten minutes and, shit, I just got stiff. When we started running after that, it was pretty painful. Miles 8-9 were just hard, but not impossible, and then we hit mile 10.

I've run 10 miles, I've even felt good running 10 miles, but miles 10-13 of this race were excruciating. What was so frustrating was that, mentally, I was there. I was repeating every mantra I've ever used, I was looking at this beautifully lit-up strip and trying to channel all the energy of it, I was reading every handmade sign I passed, and I was thinking of every single person I loved, but I felt my body begin to shut down. I've honestly never felt like that during any run. It wasn't exhaustion or being mentally beat down, I just felt sick and it was very strange for me because, well, I so rarely get sick.

I will never know how I made it across that finish line. It wasn't sheer determination or strength or willpower, it was just autopilot, and I think that's why I feel so crappy about it. I didn't feel anything but pain when I finished.

Once we finished, everything got blurry. I couldn't think of eating or drinking anything, but I knew I needed something. I tried a bite of (green, under-ripe) banana, and wanted to throw that up. I tried an energy drink and wanted to throw that up. I couldn't really speak, which felt weird, but I finally saw Mike and kind of lost it for a bit. I finally felt a little relief after seeing him, and I knew that no matter what, thank goodness, I'd at least have him. From there, we went inside Mandalay Bay, the hotel where the race ended and tried to work our way back to our own hotel.

{I did not want to take this photo, but I'm so glad I did. Thank you Kristie for making me!}

Oh, guys, inside the hotel is when things really got awful. I don't know if the race organizers didn't communicate well with the hotel staff, but they somehow let thousands of runners (there were 44,000 total runners) walk through a somewhat small corridor of the hotel when a show was also letting out (and foot traffic was allowed the opposite way). I don't know why so many runners felt like I felt -- very, very sick -- even though there's speculation on the race's Facebook page and in articles around the web that there was contaminated water at one of the water stations, although who knows if that's true -- but it just got nightmarish in Mandalay Bay. Runners were fainting and vomiting but medics couldn't get to them through the wall-to-wall crowd. I was getting panicky because I'm short and in claustrophobic situations, I feel, well, claustrophobic, but I also felt really sick, and it was bad. Just bad bad bad.

It took about an hour to get through the crowd and when we finally did (oh, thank goodness), I finally got sick in a Luxor trashcan (and felt much better) and then had to walk another half mile or so to our hotel. I kept saying to Mike, "I honestly don't think I can do this. I don't think I can keep walking." And he kept saying, "I know you can, I know you can, I know you can." And that's all that got me through it. Oh, shit, it sounds so dramatic, I know, but it was hard and I've never been so happy to see a hotel room in all of my life. I collapsed into bed and slept until the next morning and it might have been the best night's sleep of my life.

I kind of hate that it all ended with a tough last four miles and a really tough trip back to the hotel, but I like to think any race I run from here on will be better. This is a race that took in nearly SIX MILLION DOLLARS and while a big chunk of that, presumably, went to charity, it just seemed that for the sheer SIZE of the race, it would be meticulously organized. It actually fueled my desire to organize a race one day because so many of the issues seemed preventable. (So many aren't worth getting into, either, but OH THERE WERE A FEW.)

Putting all that aside, can I just say, I am so glad to have had Kristie running with me and Mike waiting for me at the end. Shit, for a solitary sport, I sure do require a helluva support system to do it, don't I? (And I have one HELL of a good support system, too.)

All that really matters is that I finished the half-marathon. I somehow dug deep enough to do it, even though every part of me screamed to stop. I kept beating myself up because it wasn't fast enough or I didn't feel strong enough but screw that, right? I did it. I crossed the finish line (in 2:47:44) and I know that every half-marathon from here on will be better because of this first one. And, yeah, I can actually think of running more now, even though if you had asked me right afterward, I would have said NO NO NO NO NO NO, NOOOOOO, HAAAAA, NO.

Good thing, too. I run another in six weeks.

(The End of) Half-Marathon Training: Week 18

Well, friends, this is officially the last recap before the race recap when I return from Vegas next week. I bet you're all a little relieved this space will stop being about running and here's where I destroy your wishes and dreams by confessing I've already signed up for a a few races in 2012 including both a 15K and another half-marathon in January (the 3M half in Austin). I know, I know, I'm insane, but runners are known to be a very strange group. A group that basically lives by the mantra: "This is crazy, I hate it, let's do it again next weekend."

For anyone interested in reading every single half-marathon related post I've written (I'd wager no one!), here they all are anyway, in one organized place.

Wednesday: 2-mile run

I got my running partner back this week and Kristie and I reunited for a morning run and post-run coffee. It felt great to get back to our regular routine and while I don't think we'll be as insane about our morning runs beyond Sunday, I do hope we continue to work out together. It's been invaluable having her throughout this process.

Thursday: 10K Turkey Trot

Texas is flat, you often hear, and whoever goes around promoting that bag of lies never ran the Fort Worth Turkey Trot 10K. Boy, was it hilly. Kristie and I struggled a little around mile 3-4, and probably walked 2-3 times total but still managed to finish in 1:08, my personal 10K PR (a 10:58 pace).

{My first mid-running photo!}

It did feel great to kick off Thanksgiving in a healthy way even if I put those calories right back on my hips after one (of four) helping of mashed potatoes.

{Part of our Running to Drink group!}

I also need to write an email to the organizers of the race, who we watched pour out all the extra water in a parking lot instead of taking it back with them to donate to a needy group or keep at the YMCA of Fort Worth, who the race benefitted. I have no idea their rationale behind doing that, but I'm going to try my best to find out.

Sunday: 10-mile run

Kristie and I planned to meet early Sunday morning, to knock out our last (and longest) long run. She texted me the night before and said, "It's going to be 38 at 7:30 tomorrow. OMG." I don't often wish for Kristie to be wrong, but OMG IS RIGHT. It was that cold. Our usuallly busy trail was empty, but we set out to do what we needed to do. Run 10 miles. 10 MILES IS A LOT OF MILES, and the only reason I believe I finished is because I had someone with me as a witness. But, I do have something to say about running long distances in general:

Do whatever you have to do to finish.

For me, especially in training, this (now) means walking when I need to, stretching when I need to, stopping to fill up my water bottle when I need to, slowing down when I need to, grabbing a bite of something half-way when I need to, and on and on. We walked four times: at miles three, four, six, and eight, for about a minute each break. (There was a bathroom stop at mile four, so that was probably a little longer.)

Our final time was 1:52 (that's an 11:12 pace).

This run didn't feel impossible although the last two miles were tough and the last half mile was really tough. It felt long and hard and boring at times, sure, but it was possible, and that's maybe the big-picture message to take from all this training, all this running: it's possible.

You don't have to be skinny (I'm annoyingly bigger now than I was when I started training), and you don't have to be in perfect shape, and you don't have to run the fastest, and you don't have to run without stopping. You can still be a runner regardless of any of those things, and you can run 10 miles (or 1 or 2 or 7 or 8). You can do it. It is possible.

Trust yourself.

I've felt discouraged often throughout this journey because it's just been so hard, so trying. But, I finally know I can do this and I'm finally looking forward to it, too.

***

In case you're interested (my mom, for starters!), the race is this Sunday, at 5:30 PM PST, so you might be asleep on the east coast by the time I finish in Vegas, but I'll update Twitter, for sure. Before I wrap up this long final recap, I want to say a huge thank you to each person who's supported me, in all the many different ways I've felt supported. Through comments, emails, tweets, my awesome running group, those traveling to Vegas with me, or those staying behind to watch Kyle so I can take this trip at all. All of your faith in me has helped me find faith in myself.

I'm so very grateful and humbled to know each of you.

I Ran 8 Miles, and I Want to Talk At Length about It

Yesterday morning, I set out to my trail of choice to tackle the longest run of my half-marathon training (and of my life) so far. EIGHT MILES. Man, does that seem like an impossible distance and yet I have to run that PLUS FIVE MILES in two weeks.

The thing about running is that it's just wildly unpredictable. My last long run was seven miles, and I felt pretty good throughout. It wasn't like a spa day, don't get me wrong, but I felt capable, strong, and like I still had some gas in the tank at the end. It was semi-enjoyable, even. This past weekend's run was ... not any of those words. It was the first time I really hit a wall and kept going. I hit that wall HARD around mile 5.5 and every part of me screamed to stop. My legs felt so sluggish and heavy but I knew my opportunities for long runs were dwindling. I only have two long runs left before we leave for Vegas, and I couldn't waste the chance to run the miles.

It's hard to reconcile that one run could be so good and one so awful, and it's really hard to keep going, after such a bad run. Why do this at all? When it's this tough? What is the point, MY GOODNESS, when my DVR is so full of things that do not include running?

I say all this because I'm not a natural runner, and if I'm being honest with all of you, I'm not really a natural good decision maker in general. I'll continually make bad choices and cling to bad habits knowing they're bad simply because it's my default setting. I don't know how to fix that about myself, although I'm trying. I don't know how to reprogram myself, although I'm trying. What I want my life to look like and what I do each day to achieve that life doesn't always add up and running has been this therapeutic bridge for me between who I am and who I hope to be and it's proof that I can get there, even if it's really ridiculously tough at times.

I think on some level it's always going to be hard for me, much harder than so many I read or follow or know. I'll probably always have to fight these self-destructive whispers in my head, to some extent.

What running has taught me, after all these months of training, is that you don't always have to enjoy the act of becoming better than you are, and that just because it sucks doesn't mean you should stop. Not that it always sucks, I've had plenty of good runs, but running isn't easy for me. It's not like I can hit the road and zone out for an hour. I have to work for the miles, and I've decided that's ok. I try to remind myself of this on the trail, and it's what I'll try to remind myself on the course in two weeks. That even though I might occasionally hate what I'm doing right now, it's infinitely better to hate what you're doing on your quest to be better than to hate who you are while you do nothing. 

I have hated myself many times in my life, although that's a really painful thing to acknowledge, but I have never hated myself on a run.

Will Run for Champagne

Months ago, I set out to find a shirt with the message "Will Run for Champagne" on it. I could find beer, wine, iced coffee, cake, and on and on, but no champagne. Which is nuts. Do you know how delicious champagne is? It should be on all the shirts.

Thankfully, I have talented friends. I asked Cherie if she'd design a shirt for me, and then I asked if we could list it in our Etsy shop, so runners everywhere wouldn't have to settle for inferior booze on their race day shirts ever again.

Will Run for Champagne T-shirt*

If this is the kind of message you can get behind, get yours today. I'll be wearing this shirt for my half-marathon in nearly two weeks. It'll be even more fitting when I reach the finish line and Mike actually greets me with a bottle of champagne.

That's the perk of running your first half-marathon in Vegas, where drinking on the street is not nearly as frowned upon as drinking on the street in suburban Texas.

*There's also a Running to Drink shirt, inspired by my running group. If you like that one, we'll make you a virtual member!